To begin with, let me clarify that I will mean a small child, from birth to about three years of age.
If parents knew what their newborn was experiencing and feeling, they would not be tormented by solving this problem of where to sleep for the child. Or if mothers could completely trust their instinct in resolving this issue, the problem would not exist, the child would sleep next to the mother. But it is difficult for instinctive behavior to break through layers of various information and prejudices, fears and conventions.
Many mothers think that it is simply wonderful that their babies will have a separate room, from birth, their own, wonderful beds. The expectant mother happily selects matching curtains and pillows, blankets, bedspreads, rugs and toys, creating a nice little cozy world for her child. She goes shopping, leafs through magazines, where everything is so wonderfully arranged and everything is so beautiful. She is looking for some special mattress with sea grass filling, and is terribly upset when she finds out that, for example, she cannot afford it. And so on...
What is her baby thinking at this time? Maybe he doesn’t think anything, but what he feels can be assumed... He feels warm and cramped, perhaps he feels like a kind of ovoid form (based on the shape of the inner surface of the uterus, which limits his world). He hears the sounds of the mother’s body - heartbeat, breathing, intestinal peristalsis, the sound of blood in the vessels. He feels the taste and smell of amniotic fluid (it fills the baby's mouth and nose). Through neurohumoral reactions, he senses changes in the mother's mood, he feels when she is happy or sad, when she is scared or when she is angry. He is familiar with all the emotional experiences of his mother and it can be assumed that he perceives them as his own. He sucks the fist and sometimes the umbilical cord loops, learning to suck.
In the mid-20th century, English psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott suggested that the child feels one with the mother and the feeling of this unity persists for several months after the birth of the child. Further research in this direction confirms this assumption.
The child's world, his universe, is his mother. This statement remains true even after the birth of the child.
What happens to the baby’s feelings and desires after birth?
He finds himself in another world, where there are other sounds, light, other sensations of heat and cold, he is forced to perform actions that he was not capable of before (for example, he breathes, makes sounds). What remains the same? Periodically, he finds himself almost in the same state: he feels cramped, warm, he hears familiar sounds, albeit a little differently, and when he sucks, he feels a familiar taste and smell, similar to the taste and smell of amniotic fluid. Only then does he feel comfortable and safe. These feelings surround him when he is in his mother’s arms or lying next to her.
What does a newborn child feel when left to his own devices?
To quote Winnicott: “Left for a long time (we are talking not only about hours, but also about minutes) without the usual human surroundings, they experience an experience that can be expressed in these words:
disintegration into pieces
endless fall
dying... dying... dying...
loss of all hope of renewing contact"
(from the book by D.V. Winnicott “Little Children and Their Mothers”, p. 64, Library of Psychology and Psychotherapy, issue 52., M., “Class”, 1998).
This is, of course, not just about sleeping together. This quote will be especially interesting to those parents who believe that there is no need to “teach a child to hold hands” and “crying develops the lungs”...
Sleeping together with the mother is necessary for the child to develop a balanced psyche, to create confidence in the world around him and, above all, in his own mother, for a stable sense of security. A small child is characterized by predominantly superficial, shallow sleep. A large proportion of light sleep is a necessary condition for the development of a healthy brain. The brain continues to grow and develop only in the light sleep phase. During shallow sleep, the child controls where his mother is and whether she is nearby. If the mother is not around, he spends a scary long time in this phase alone, the baby falls asleep deeper or wakes up. Having sufficient duration of shallow sleep, children who sleep with their mothers have a richer potential for further development. Civilization, separating mother and child, does not use the capabilities of the brain, programmed for continuous development, and limits them.
If mother and baby sleep separately, the baby may experience prolonged deep sleep. Sometimes a two-month-old baby begins to sleep from 9 pm to 9 am, “like a log.” In such a situation, the child's long, deep sleep is a protective reaction to stress. Stress for a newborn is sleeping separately from the mother.
While sleeping together with the mother, the baby receives tactile stimulation necessary for the full development of the nervous system. The child receives little touch from his mother while he is awake. A child can only fully get what he needs while sleeping together.
Shallow sleep can also be called a baby’s defense mechanism. If something happened in a dream, the baby froze, or choked, or got wet, or it became difficult for him to breathe, it is easier to get out of shallow sleep and call for help.
Tactile stimulation coming from the mother also reminds the child that he is alive and needs to breathe. Tactile stimulation is necessary for the child to ensure the smooth functioning of the respiratory center. Sudden infant death syndrome is less common when the child sleeps with the parents. Newborn babies sometimes experience respiratory arrest, sleep apnea. In order for the child to start breathing, he must be touched (of course, if this happened a few seconds ago, and not three minutes). The importance of tactile stimulation is widely recognized. Leading companies producing medical equipment produce incubators for premature babies with a movable “bottom” that imitates the respiratory movements of the human chest (So that the baby feels like he is lying on his mother’s chest)…
Why does a mother need to sleep together with her child?
For long and successful breastfeeding. A woman is designed in such a way that the maximum concentrations of prolactin, the hormone that leads to the formation of milk, are formed in her body at night while the baby is sucking. Stimulation of the nerve endings in the skin of the areola sends a signal to the brain, which, acting on the pituitary gland, leads to an increase in the production of prolactin. Most prolactin is formed during the baby's night sucking. If a woman never feeds her baby at night, or only feeds her baby once (usually at 6 am), milk production gradually begins to decrease (due to insufficient stimulation of prolactin). It is not possible to feed a child under such conditions for a long time. In most cases, women notice that there is a catastrophic lack of milk by 1.5-3 months after childbirth.
The mother, as well as the baby, receives regular stimulation of the skin, a necessary condition for normal lactation. A child who sleeps next to his mother cuddles with her much longer than a child who is constantly put off. A mother who constantly receives signals from the warm skin of her baby does not have to worry about the amount of milk - her hormonal system always has a powerful additional stimulus.
For a mother whose baby is still 1-2 months old, this is not so important, she already carries him in her arms a lot. This can be especially true for the mother of a growing child, 5-8 months, who begins to move a lot during the day, and the mother carries him in her arms less, because. he is already crawling on his own or trying to do so. Sleeping together makes up for the lack of physical contact and creates favorable conditions for proper feeding, because the child may “forget” to eat during the day. In the future, it is night feedings that allow the mother, for example, to go to work, or to be away for a long time, without worrying that her baby will not eat enough.
How does a child sleep with his mother behave at night?
The baby can fall asleep “at night” between about 10 pm and 1 am. From 2 to 5 am (depending on the time of falling asleep), the baby begins to fuss and latch on. When the baby begins to have “REM” sleep and begins to show restlessness, the mother “opens one eye,” puts it on and continues to sleep. Mom sleeps, of course, not soundly or deeply. You could say he's dozing. When the baby, having pumped, lets go of the breast and falls into a deep sleep, the mother also falls asleep. There are, however, situations when a mother, having put her baby to one breast at 2 am, opens her eyes and discovers that it is already 8 am, and they are still lying there and the baby is still with the same boobs “in his teeth”. It should be noted that night feedings look like this only if the mother knows how to feed while lying down in a comfortable position and can relax during feeding. Actually, “night” feedings are considered to be between 3 and 8 am. At this time, a month-old child has 2-3 or more attachments. And there are small children who latch on, for example, in this rhythm: at 22, at 24, and then at 2, at 4, at 6, at 8 in the morning. There are children who at one month of age had 6 morning feedings, and by 3-4 months there were 2-3 attachments. Often, by 4.5–6 months, the number of morning feedings increases again. This is due to the fact that a baby of this age begins to latch on less frequently during the day, does not suck for long, is easily distracted, and “gets” what he needs through active night sucking. As the child gets older, he does not give up night sucking at all. Children, for example, over a year old can suck very actively in the morning from about 4.00-6.00 in the morning, sometimes almost continuously, until they wake up, at 8.00-10.00 in the morning. Mothers just need to know that the desire to nurse at night and sleep next to their mother are not bad habits, but psychological and physiological needs, and should not fight them.
All children are programmed by nature to sleep together with their mother and actively suck at night. Babies who are bottle-fed also have a need to nurse at night. Confirmation of this can be observed at parent conferences on the Internet (for example, on the website mama.ru and 7ya.ru). One mother begins to complain that her child always slept from 9 pm to 9 am, and at 6 months suddenly began to wake up every hour, another complains that she cannot wean a seemingly large child of 1.5-2 years old from a night bottle with milk or tea, but not from one... Or, just recently, one mother of a 9-month-old baby complained that she couldn’t put him in his personal crib, since birth he could only sleep next to her, despite the fact that she feeds him artificially...
All children have a need for co-sleeping, regardless of the type of feeding. For those children who were not allowed to realize it, it temporarily fades away, as if it never existed. Any psychologist will say that an unsatisfied need develops into a complex that is waiting for its implementation, like a time bomb. If a certain life situation arises, circumstances in which this complex can be realized, a person ceases to act intelligently and rationally. An adult with the stubbornness of a child behaves completely illogically, only because he is carrying out a program, he is controlled by an old complex. Moreover, this can happen at any age.
The most typical picture of such a realization, which many can observe in life, is situations in which a woman cannot part with a man who beats her, drinks, treats her badly, only because she is afraid of being left alone in bed at night. Moreover, this is a subconscious fear; consciously, she does not even undertake to explain why she stays with him, and this can drag on for years. The fear of loneliness at night forces people to tolerate unsuccessful life partners, live with long-bored relatives, have extra pets, etc. I don’t think that at least one mother, trying to “not spoil” her baby, will wish him such a sad fate in the future.
If a mother has taught her child to sleep alone, he, as a rule, endures this relatively painlessly until he is 1.5 years old. At 1.5 years old, the first conscious fear of the dark appears, and the lack of reliance on the mother certainly makes itself felt. The child is afraid to fall asleep alone, he pulls his parents towards him, calls them, cries, learns to manipulate them. By the age of 2, in many families the problem of falling asleep, and with it sleeping together, turns into a whole battle. It is easier only for those who already sleep with the child, so it is wiser to solve the problem before the child reaches this age.
Children who have always slept with their parents usually get over their first night terrors easily and painlessly, and are transferred to their own separate bed after 3 years. Conflicts arise only where a complex has already formed, because the parents did not immediately come to terms with the presence of the child in their bed or tried to put him in a separate bed too early, and he remembered this.
Statistics show that children who, at 5-6 years old, still sleep with their parents, most often had the experience of sleeping separately, and more than half of them came to their parents’ bed after 1.5 years! That is, when parents do not sleep with a child for five months, there is no guarantee that they will not have to do this after 1.5 years, but they have already provided an unrealized complex and adverse psychological consequences for their child!
There is an even more difficult option, when a child who has already acquired independence, in order to solve his problems, nevertheless comes to his parents’ bed at the age of 4-6. Then, of his own free will, he does not leave there until 20!
What do you need to know and be able to do to organize co-sleeping with your child?
1. the child must know that he can sleep with his mother and adapt to this,
2. Mom should be able to comfortably feed while lying down.
3. A mother should be able to sleep with her child and relax at the same time.
All this does not happen immediately, spontaneously, by itself. In practice, adaptation takes from 2 weeks to 1.5 months. In the event that you sleep with the child from birth (or start immediately after the hospital). If the mother already had a child with whom she slept together, she adapts faster. For a mother with many children, such behavior is natural and there is no need to adapt.
If you try to learn later, it will take at least a month to adapt, and only if the mother is convinced of the correctness of her actions! A child who is not used to sleeping together may toss and turn violently, kick, and wake up the mother with his movements. There may also be difficulties with thermoregulation, because as they said in one famous film, “2 Indians under one blanket will never freeze.” So mother and child keep each other warm, so they have to change their clothing habits or cover themselves with a lighter blanket... If we add to this the change in the rhythms of night sleep, it becomes clear that relearning is much more difficult than solving these issues gradually, as they arise. If mom tries to start at 5-6 months she may fail!
An unprepared mom's ability to safely co-sleep greatly depends on the shape and size of her breasts.
If mom has breasts larger than size 4, she CANNOT! Try to sleep with your baby on your own. You should contact your nearest lactation consultant. If he is not nearby, then you need to find a mother who knows how to sleep with her child, who knows how to feed while lying down in a comfortable position. It is advisable that this be a mother with positive experience in feeding several children...
If a mother has problems with attachment, it is difficult for her to solve them in a supine position. You must first deal with the problems in a comfortable position, then learn to control the child’s lying position during daytime sleep, and only then start doing the same at night.
For what reasons do mothers not sleep with their babies?
Moms don't know that co-sleeping is necessary. After reading the above, mom will know that co-sleeping is necessary for both her and her baby.
Doctors' prohibitions. Doctors who are competent in issues related to breastfeeding and the psychology of a newborn have nothing against sleeping together with a child.
Due to the negative attitude of relatives, especially the husband. Relatives do not know about the need to sleep together with a child, as soon as you tell them about it. (I would like to add that most people do not really like to engage in marital relations in a room where there is someone else, even a small child, even in his own crib. If there are additional rooms, there is no problem at all, but it can be solved, even if there are no extra rooms...)
They do not know how to feed while lying in a comfortable position. You need to learn, contact a lactation consultant, or an experienced mother who knows how to do this.
Due to the inconvenience associated with large breast size, awkward breast shape, and inverted nipple. These inconveniences can also be overcome with the help of lactation consultants or an experienced mother.
They are afraid to spoil the child. It is impossible to spoil a child by sleeping together.
For hygienic reasons. Mother and breastfed baby have the same microflora.
They are afraid to “sleep” the child. A mother cannot put her baby to sleep if she knows how to feed while lying down in a comfortable position, if she is mentally healthy, if she has not blocked the “sentinel” zone of the cerebral cortex with alcohol, sleeping pills or drugs.
The arrival of a child in a home is a long-awaited event. There he is lying next to you, yawning sweetly, fingering his tiny fingers and squinting. This means it's time to go to bed. A cozy crib has already been prepared for the child in the children's room or in the parent's bedroom. All that remains is to put him in this little nest and be touched by the sight of the sniffling baby. True, after a few hours the baby will have to be taken out of there to feed it. Then you will need to do it again and again - and so on all night long... Maybe you should just put the baby next to you? What if later? We will help you find answers to these questions.
Is there a sleep compatibility problem?
The problem of co-sleeping has long been the subject of heated debate between parents, psychologists and pediatricians. Everyone gives many arguments to defend their position, but there is still no clear opinion. However, as with any issue that concerns raising a child. Still, there are facts and comments from experts that will help you weigh the pros and cons, and then make your own decision.
What are the benefits of co-sleeping with your baby?
The first and main argument in favor of co-sleeping with your baby is the establishment of long-term and successful breastfeeding. Every child is naturally programmed to sleep with his mother and actively suckle at the breast at night. And a woman is designed in such a way that it is at night, when the baby is suckling, that her body reaches the maximum level of prolactin, a hormone that promotes milk production. Tactile contact with the child stimulates all these processes. In addition, the mother will not have to periodically jump out of bed to run to the baby if they sleep together. As a result, the woman will feel better and become less irritable, and this will immediately affect the baby. Mothers who sleep with their children from the first days cannot even understand those who complain about lack of sleep, and often do not remember whether they woke up at all.
Sleeping together also helps regulate safety issues, although this may seem strange. Recent studies show that this reduces the risk of developing sudden infant death syndrome. When the baby lies next to his mother, his sleep becomes less deep and superficial. Opponents of co-sleeping see this as a disadvantage. However, for children under 6 months of age, shallow sleep is beneficial: it is easier to wake up and, accordingly, it is easier to “call for help”, to give a signal that something is wrong. The presence of mother nearby generates mutual sensitivity and facilitates awakening. This is a protective measure in case of respiratory arrest. In addition, sleeping together creates a stable sense of security in the baby. This is how the baby grows confidence in the world around him, and most importantly, in his own mother.
Often babies miss their mother's touch while they are awake. He can also receive the necessary affection while sleeping together. For an older child, this will provide favorable conditions for feeding, because during the day the baby can play too much and seem to “forget” to eat. In the future, it is night feedings that allow the mother, for example, to go to work, or to be away for a long time, without worrying that her baby will not eat enough.
If you do decide to sleep with your child, the following rules will help you overcome emerging fears and resolve doubts:
- Never Do not place your baby near you if you have drunk alcohol or are under the influence of other stimulants. An altered state of consciousness will not allow you to help your child if he suddenly needs it.
- If your baby is lying on an adult mattress, be sure to choose a firm model and place the baby on his back or side. According to the latest research, these are the safest positions for babies.
- Pillows, bolsters, water mattresses, as well as the gap between the bed and the wall pose a potential threat to the baby in the parent's bed.
- Your body heat provides extra warmth for your baby. To avoid overheating, use warm nightwear, bedspreads and blankets to a minimum.
- Make sure that your baby can still sleep on his own, so that sleeping in a separate crib does not seem like a punishment to him.
- Let your baby know that he can sleep with his mother and wait until he adjusts to this.
- To do this, it’s worth talking to lactation consultants. You can also consult with other women who already have experience of co-sleeping and breastfeeding, preferably several babies.
- Remember that sleeping with the baby should not create inconvenience for the mother.
The ideal situation is if the mother is resting while she sleeps with the baby. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll probably have to think about solving this issue.
Problems for children who sleep in their parents' bed
Co-sleeping with your baby solves many problems, but it also causes certain problems. According to some experts, this can cause sleep disturbances in the baby. According to research, such disorders develop in 50% of children aged six months to 4 years sleeping in their parents' bed. At the same time, only 15% of babies who sleep separately are bothered by sleep problems. There is a hypothesis that if a child sleeps with his parents, he cannot learn to fall asleep on his own, and this is an important skill for independent living.
If a baby sleeps with his mother, he develops the habit of breastfeeding throughout the night. Some authors of parenting manuals claim that this can cause caries: with almost continuous feeding, milk is constantly present in the baby’s mouth, which destroys tooth enamel. This risk increases if the baby continues to breastfeed into the second year of life. The natural question is: should the baby’s teeth be brushed after feeding during the day? So, before adopting this argument, consult your pediatric dentist.
The pressing issue is the intimate relationships of parents. Even the presence of a child in the room imposes restrictions, let alone sleeping with the baby. This problem is not easy to deal with, but there is still a solution. During sexual relations, you can put the child in a crib. Another option is to go to another room.
Sleeping with a baby or even a small child is one thing. But how can you explain to a grown-up child, accustomed to his parents’ bed, that from now on he must move to his own separate crib?
If a child has been accustomed to sleeping with his mother since birth, then he should be weaned off this gradually, starting at the age of 1.5-2 years. It’s good if the baby sleeps separately in the morning and afternoon. Therefore, it is worth getting a crib or cradle for your child. All people need personal space, including a baby, to develop individuality and independence skills. When it’s time for your baby to move completely into his own crib, it can be turned into a beautiful and joyful celebration. In such an environment, the baby will appreciate the fact that it acquires its own “hearth of independence” as proof of the love and respect of those close to its personality.
There is room for compromise when it comes to sleeping together. For example, parents may well take their baby into their bed only occasionally: when the child is sick, has a nightmare, or in the morning or on a day off. A compromise option is to place the crib with the front panel removed close to the parents' bed. This way you won’t have to jump up when the baby cries - you can soothe and feed him without getting up. And the baby will not embarrass his parents while being on his own territory. Some people simply move the crib closer to their bed - this way they can touch the child at night, take him by the hand, and lull him to sleep.
To sleep together or not - how to make the right decision?
In Australia, scientists conducted a study on the behavior of babies and received interesting results. It turns out that babies themselves let their parents know how and where they want to sleep - you just need to take a closer look at their behavior and reactions. Australian scientists claim that all babies are divided into three types: some sleep better in a separate room, others need the presence of their parents, and others definitely need to be in their parents’ bed.
It is difficult to compare with anything the pleasure that parents receive from the fact that their baby is snoring sweetly next to them. Yet even those who sleep separately from their children can easily feel the spirit of family unity - all it takes is bringing the baby into your bed in the morning to feed him or play with him.
In any case, it is important for parents to decide on a place for their child to sleep during the first year of his life. The baby will be able to adapt to sleeping alone or with his parents. However, once this habit is formed, it will be much more difficult to change it.
Co-sleeping with your child. Benefit or harm
Co-sleeping: a pediatrician's opinion
Moms' opinion
Useful tips
Many parents are simply at a loss when it comes to what time to put their child to bed. If you put him to bed too early, the child may sleep poorly, become overexcited, or even start to freak out. And if it’s too late, he won’t get enough sleep and will be irritable.
What can you do to spend enough time with your child in the evening after work, but at the same time provide the little person with a healthy sleep? This question haunts many.
What do experts say on this topic?
Baby's bedtime
Experts have created a special sign for parents, which is based on the time the child wakes up and his age.
For example, if your child is 5 years old and he needs to wake up at 6.15, then he should be sent to bed at approximately 19.00. But a ten-year-old who wakes up at 6:15 can easily stay awake until 8:15.
Why is this so important?
Surely everyone knows that a healthy child needs to get enough sleep. And recent studies show that good sleep and eating habits reduce the risk of childhood obesity.
Babies from 4 to 12 months should sleep 12-16 hours a day, including naps during the day;
Children 1-2 years old sleep 11-14 hours, including daytime sleep;
Children 3-5 years old need 10-13 hours of sleep, including naps during the day;
Children 6-12 years old should sleep 9-12 hours at night;
Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep.
Of course, not every child fits into these standards, however, most parents should adhere to these recommendations.
Child and sleep
How to put your baby to bed early?
First, experts advise stopping using gadgets shortly before bed. The thing is that blue light comes from screens, which slows down the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. This, in turn, can completely disrupt the daily routine and rhythm of the child’s body.
The use of tablets, smartphones, TV and computers should be stopped two hours before bedtime.
Secondly, experts advise developing your own ritual that you will adhere to before going to bed. For example, this could be taking a bubble bath or reading a bedtime story. The main thing in this matter is to develop a clear habit.
The sooner you start, the faster you will succeed.
Let's talk about several more ways to regulate children's sleep.
Alarm
This is not at all what you might think. There is no need to put it under the baby's ear. Mom needs it if she decides that the baby’s sleep needs to be extended. The child usually wakes up at the same time. He has already formed his own habits, even if they can hardly be called good.
But you can try to fix the situation. Wake up your baby exactly half an hour before he should wake up on his own. In this way you will break the order he has established. Gradually increase the time between awakenings until you achieve the desired result.
This method cannot be called fast. It can be tough for both of you. Glitches may occur, but mom should be persistent and patient.
Baby's sleep schedule
White noise
Small children fall asleep very well to various monotonous sounds, such as the sound of a vacuum cleaner, radio or hairdryer, as well as a silent lullaby or the sound of water.
The mother needs to find the right sound or music and turn it on every time after putting the baby to bed. The sound should be at a minimum so as not to interrupt sleep and not wake up the baby.
Let’s finish our article with 10 rules for healthy sleep from pediatrician Evgeniy Komarovsky, well-known in the post-Soviet space.
Rule 1 – Prioritization
A child needs healthy, rested and loving parents for more food, more drink and more fresh air. A family is happy, complete and productive only if the parents have the opportunity to sleep 8 hours.
Rule 2 – Sleep mode
The child must be subject to your regime. Determine a time that is convenient for you to start your night's sleep. From 21.00 to 06.00? Great. From 23.00 to 8.00? Please! Once you have chosen, stick to it constantly.
Rule 3 – Sleeping place
In theory there are three options:
The child sleeps in a crib in the parent’s bedroom, the best option for the first year of the baby’s life, acceptable until the age of three;
The child sleeps in his own crib in his own room - ideal for children older than one year;
Co-sleeping, which is not supported by most pediatricians and is not related to healthy sleep.
Sleep rules
Rule 4 – Be sleepy
If you want your child to sleep well at night, then do not let him sleep during the day. If, for example, a 6-month-old baby needs an average of 14.5 hours of sleep, and if parents want to sleep peacefully for 8 hours at night, then the baby needs to sleep no more than 6.5 hours during the day. If he sleeps longer during the day, you won’t be able to sleep at night.
Rule 5 – Systematize feedings
A child older than 6 months does not need night feedings. He may demand communication, sucking, may want to be held, rocking, hissing, and demand this more and more actively as his desires are satisfied.
Set the rules once and for all. At the penultimate feeding, do not feed a little, but before going to bed at night, feed as satisfyingly as possible. But do not forget that hunger is not the only reason for children’s crying. There is no need to cover his mouth with food whenever he squeaks. Overfeeding is the main cause of abdominal pain, resulting in sleep disturbances.
Children's sleep rules, Komarovsky
Rule 6 – Have a good day
Outdoor games, learning, naps in the fresh air, walks. Your life should be active. Moderate physical activity is excellent for promoting healthy sleep. Reducing evening emotional stress has a beneficial effect on sleep.
Reading good fairy tales, mother's lullaby, quiet games, watching a familiar cartoon - what else could be better.
Rule 7 – Air in the bedroom
The most important rule is cool, clean and humid air in the bedroom. Regular wet cleaning, ventilation, heating controls, air humidifier.
The optimal air temperature is 18 - 20 degrees in the room where the child sleeps and plays; if the baby is only sleeping in the room, then the optimal temperature is 16-18 degrees.
Optimal air humidity is 50-70%.
Rule 8 – Take advantage of swimming opportunities
Swimming in cool water every night in a large bath is a great way to get hungry, physically tired, and then eat well and fall asleep throughout the night.
Before swimming - hygiene procedures, gymnastics and massage, as well as warm clothes after it.
Rule 9 – Prepare your bed
The mattress should be even and dense so that it does not sag under the weight of the child’s body. Do not use pillows under two years of age. Bed linen must be strictly natural, washed with baby powder and thoroughly rinsed.
Rule 10 – Quality diaper
Disposable diapers are an incredible invention of mankind. They can greatly improve the sleep of everyone in the family. A high-quality overnight diaper is an inviolable rule that is the easiest to implement.
Baby's sleep duration
Duration and nature infant sleep directly depend on age. A newborn (up to 1 month) sleeps most of the day, waking up only at the time of feeding. Due to physiological characteristics, a newborn’s sleep can be very sound: he is not disturbed by various sounds and even tactile sensations (shifting, turning over, etc.). However, already at the age of about 1 month, the baby becomes more sensitive to external stimuli. Periods of wakefulness become longer and longer. By 3 months, the baby spends up to an hour and a half in an active state between feedings, and the total duration of his sleep is 18-20 hours a day. At 6 months, the baby sleeps for 16-18 hours. In this case, a long period of night sleep (up to 5-6 hours) and two or three periods of daytime sleep during the day are clearly distinguished. A nine-month-old baby needs 14-16 hours to sleep; most children at this age take two naps a day. By the age of 1 year, the total duration of sleep is 14-15 hours; during the day, the baby can sleep both once and twice.
The child confused day and night
Physiological rhythm newborn sleep not much different from the fetal sleep rhythm. Accordingly, a newborn does not have a “sense of night” as we understand it. Only some babies have a period of continuous night sleep of 5-6 hours and is established from the first weeks of life, while most newborns wake up every 2-3 hours at night, which is the norm for them. Already by 2 months, the baby begins to distinguish daytime activity from nighttime: he has a period of wakefulness that is clearly associated with daytime. This becomes possible due to the gradual maturation of brain structures that respond to light levels and are responsible for the formation of circadian rhythms. Finally, the process of establishing a period of long baby's night sleep ends only by 2-3 years. Nevertheless, adults are able to help the baby quickly establish the correct circadian sleep rhythm using various techniques. First of all, it is necessary to distinguish between daytime and nighttime activity levels. So, the daytime hours should be quite rich in a variety of activities, including massage, gymnastics, walks, communication and games. The level of illumination in the nursery during the daytime should be higher; louder adult speech, music, etc. are acceptable. Towards the evening, the atmosphere surrounding the child should become increasingly calm, and at night complete silence and darkness are preferable.
When to put your baby to bed
Departure dates night sleep are individual and depend both on the characteristics of the child, who sets his own regime, and on the lifestyle of the whole family. Physiologically, most newborns have a period night sleep occurs after midnight, gradually moving to 21-22 hours by 4-6 months. Thus, the best time for an infant to go to sleep can be considered the period between 20 and 24 hours.
Sleep disturbance
As already said, up to 2-3 months, when daily allowance baby rhythms are still just being formed, periodic failures in sleep mode and wakefulness are quite acceptable if their causes lie in the physiological characteristics of the child’s body. It’s another matter when the regime is violated due to the actions of parents. For example, adults are nocturnal and it is more convenient for them for the child to stay awake at night and wake up as late as possible in the morning. Another option is that parents cannot or do not want to organize all the necessary activities to care for the baby with a clear attachment to a certain time, as a result of which the baby is not able to quickly develop his own routine. Parents of infants should remember that for normal harmonious development, the child’s body requires a decrease in activity and prolonged sleep during the dark (night) time of the day, since at this time the production of special hormones necessary for the growth and development of all body systems occurs.
Children's room: temperature and humidity
Relatively optimal temperature Disputes often arise between adults in the baby's room. Moreover, parents, as a rule, believe that the baby will freeze, while overheating is much more dangerous for him, which is explained by the still immature heat regulation system. The damage from high temperatures is aggravated by dry air, which is typical for houses with central heating and is aggravated when using electric heating devices. Dry air, like a sponge, absorbs moisture from the surface of the mucous membranes of the respiratory tract, disrupting the free flow of mucus and removing irritants, allergens, dust and germs from the body. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain optimal temperature and humidity, and to control these parameters, it is advisable to place a thermometer and hygrometer near the baby’s crib.
During sleep It is advisable to reduce the room temperature by 1-2 degrees. To do this, the room needs to be ventilated. Optimal temperature in the room for a newborn is 20-22°C, a baby 1-3 months old - 18-20°C, over 3 months - 18°C. A special temperature regime is maintained in the room of a child born prematurely or with low birth weight. In this case, the temperature should be 24-25°C until the baby gains body weight, which is an individual norm for him. A baby should not sleep with the air conditioner running, as it cools the air unevenly, promoting air movement and drafts, which can lead to colds. Recommended indoor humidity for sleep is 50-70?%. To create the required level of humidity, you can use humidifiers, or you can hang wet towels the old fashioned way.
Bassinet or crib
Since during the period of intrauterine development the baby was located in rather cramped conditions, many believe that it is easier for him to calm down and fall asleep in a cozy, warm nest - cradle. However, all children are individual, and if some prefer a cradle, others sleep just as well in a crib. Thus, the choice of place to sleep remains with adults. You just need to take into account that using the cradle is possible only in the first few months of life. In the future, the danger of falling out of the “nest” increases as the baby becomes more and more active.
By the way, baby stroller should only be used for sleeping while walking. Sleeping in a stroller if it is indoors is not recommended due to its poor ventilation. In this case, such negative consequences as overheating and insufficient oxygen supply to the baby’s body are possible, since he breathes “waste” air.
Where to put the crib
Ideally crib or cradle Should be installed:
in conditions of sufficient illumination during the daytime. In this case, direct sunlight should be avoided, which can interfere with the baby's daytime sleep and contribute to overheating. For these purposes, you can use various screens, blinds, etc.;
away from heating elements (central heating radiators, radiators, etc.), since near them there is increased dryness of the air and a higher temperature;
away from places where mold forms (as a rule, these are dark and damp areas of the apartment), since inhalation of fungal spores can lead to the development of respiratory diseases and allergic reactions;
away from electrical appliances (TV, computer, fan, iron, etc.). Firstly, for safety reasons (the baby can pull the cord or knock over the device), and secondly, to eliminate the negative effects of electromagnetic radiation;
It is desirable that access to the crib be as free as possible. Excess furniture, large toys, etc. can be a significant hindrance. For convenience, the crib can be moved close to the parents’ “sleeping place.”
The decoration of the crib depends on the tastes of the parents. However, it should be noted that the use of a canopy and bumper may interfere with the observation of the child, impair air ventilation and contribute to the accumulation of dust, which the child ends up breathing. Over time, when the baby learns to actively roll over, and then sit down and stand up, the bumper will come in handy to protect the baby from impacts on the hard parts of the crib. You should remember the need to wash the bumper regularly, especially if the child has a predisposition to allergies. This should be done at least once a week.
Baby pillow
For an infant, sleeping on a flat, dense surface is optimal, which promotes the correct positioning of the vertebrae along the spinal column, free breathing and normal blood supply. To achieve this effect, you need to use a fairly dense and even mattress, but you do not need a pillow.
Blanket or envelope
Blanket or envelope can be used at room temperatures below 18-20°C. In this case, it is necessary to ensure that the baby does not wrap his head in a blanket, as a result of which he may suffocate. To prevent accidents, you can use a special envelope or mesh blanket. At temperatures above 20°C, it is permissible to simply cover the baby with a diaper or light blanket.
What to put your baby to bed in
It is preferable to use clothes made of soft, air- and moisture-permeable natural fabrics, without rough seams, elastic bands and large hard parts (buttons, appliqués, etc.). It is advisable that sleepwear provided the ability to quickly change a diaper without waking up the baby. In this regard, it is convenient to use slips or sliders with unfastening buttons along the crotch seam. When the air temperature is above 20°C, there is no need to dress the baby much warmer during sleep than during wakefulness, or put a cap on him, since children who constantly experience overheating are more susceptible to colds.
On the back, on the side, on the stomach
A feature of infants is a tendency to regurgitate, which is explained by the weakness of the orbicularis muscle, which “locks” the stomach. Therefore, it is not recommended to put children under 1 year of age sleep on your back to prevent food from entering the respiratory tract. In any case, when lying on the back, you must ensure that the baby’s head is turned to one side. Provides greater safety for the baby in cases of regurgitation sleeping on your side. Currently, special clamps are produced that hold the baby in the desired position and eliminate the possibility of rolling over onto the back or tummy. In this case, it is advisable to periodically turn the baby to the other side to avoid deterioration of local blood circulation, especially if the baby sleeps in diapers. The advisability of sleeping a baby on the stomach has long been the subject of debate.
On the one hand, it is known that this position improves the baby’s well-being with intestinal colic, and also stimulates the development of the muscles of the back and neck. On the other hand, it has been suggested that sleeping on your stomach increases the risk of developing sudden death syndrome. In this case, the aggravating factor is sleeping on a pillow or a soft, uneven mattress, when the child’s nasal passages may be closed to fresh air. If your baby likes to sleep on his stomach, you need to make sure that his bed is level and flat. It is not recommended to sleep in this position for children with signs of impaired nasal breathing (nasal congestion), for example, with a cold or viral infection.
Together with parents
It is preferable to put the baby in his own crib, since this allows adults to fully rest, eliminates the risk of crushing the baby, and better meets hygiene requirements. However, often for various reasons (the baby is sick and often wakes up at night, he is teething, etc.) parents put the child with them. In this case, to ensure the safety of the baby, it is necessary to control that he does not sleep on a pillow or bury his nose in it, is not covered with a blanket or pressed against one of the parents. The child is not swaddled so that he can move his arms. The baby should lie on its own sheet under its own diaper, blanket or blanket, or be in a special envelope. A reasonable solution is also to position the crib with the side removed close to the adult bed, which ensures the safety of the child and the convenience of the parents.
In order for the baby to quickly fall asleep without outside help, it is necessary from birth to form in him the correct sleep associations associated with certain environmental conditions under which the child feels comfortable, calms down and falls asleep. This is facilitated by compliance with the established bedtime ritual, for example: light massage, bathing, feeding, laying in the crib. It is important that the ritual is pleasant for the child, convenient for adults, and repeated every day at the same time. Falling asleep associations can also be developed with the help of a so-called object mediator. In this capacity there is a certain thing that is in the crib and serves as a kind of sedative. For a baby, it could be a mother’s scarf, which always retains a subtle “native” smell; for older children, it could be a toy. A good option would be to put your baby to bed with some calm music - a lullaby. However, it is worth considering that if the “assistant” is lost, broken, or replaced, difficulties may arise in falling asleep.
Motion sickness of a child
A child falling asleep while being rocked, in the arms of an adult, while fingering his hair, or with a bottle in his mouth are among the incorrect associations of falling asleep. If such associations are already entrenched in the psyche, with each awakening, which happens several times a night in infants, the baby will scream and demand the creation of the same conditions under which he was taught to fall asleep.
If the baby has established incorrect associations of falling asleep, parents will need a certain amount of restraint and consistency in order to replace the existing stereotypes with more acceptable ones. It is necessary to think over and begin a new ritual of falling asleep. At the same time, the calm and confidence of parents will contribute to the child’s faster adaptation to the new rules. It is necessary to teach him to distinguish night time from day time, to do this, minimizing communication with the baby in the dark, creating conditions of peace and quiet.
Night light for a child
Is it possible to watch TV or listen to music in the room where the baby sleeps?
In this case, the doctors’ recommendations are clear: for proper rest and normal development of the nervous system, the baby’s sleep should take place in conditions of relative silence. Although a newborn may not outwardly react to sounds, the background noise does not allow the brain to consistently go through all the necessary phases of sleep, and therefore to develop normally. An acceptable option for adults is to use headphones.
The child starts in his sleep
Determined that shuddering when falling asleep, as well as when changing phases of sleep are a natural process. With age, as the nervous system matures and inhibitory mechanisms of nervous regulation form, shudders become less and less frequent and, in the end, may disappear completely.
The child snores
In newborns snoring often due to the peculiarity of the structure of the nasal cavity, when, due to the narrowness and tortuosity of the nasal passages and poor development of the nasal conchae, air turbulences are created during breathing, causing the appearance of characteristic sounds. Another reason may be mucus accumulated in the nasal cavity. In this case, after toileting the nose, snoring stops.
Handles up
Why do babies often sleep with their arms up? This is due to the phenomenon of the so-called physiological hypertonicity of the muscles of newborns, which determines this position of the arms. During the first year of life, muscle tone gradually decreases and the child begins to hold his hands more relaxed while sleeping.
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A newborn sleeps as much as he wants - no more, no less. The child is able to fall asleep in any noise, in any place. A baby's sleep cycle is usually three to four hours. The routine is standard: food, sleep, toilet, changing clothes and again in a circle.
If your baby doesn't recognize this pattern, don't worry - this is normal. At this stage of his development, food and sleep are closely related, so the child wakes up when he is hungry and falls asleep because he is full. But try to be extremely attentive: if the baby wakes up and screams, he is not necessarily hungry. If the child has eaten just recently, find other reasons for his crying. Maybe he is hot or wet? Only then give him the breast. If you give the breast every time the baby cries, the baby will always associate the breast with sleep.
How should a baby sleep during the day?
In the light
During the day, the child can fall asleep in the light, and at night, try not to leave the night light on. This way the baby will understand the difference between day and night.
During the day you should not tiptoe if the baby is sleeping, but at night try not to make too much noise.
Comfortable sleep
Try to provide your baby with maximum comfort for sleep. If the child has recently eaten, hold him in a “column”, vertically, so that the air comes out of the stomach. Change the baby's clothes, check that the crib is not too cold and that the room is about twenty degrees.
Alone or with mom?
From birth, the child must get used to sleeping on his own. If possible, do not rock him in your arms.
On your stomach, side or back?
Recently, there has been an increase in cases of sudden neonatal death syndrome during sleep. This alarmed parents and attracted the attention of doctors, who began studying this problem. For quite a long time, it was believed that the best sleeping position for newborns was to sleep on their stomach. Recent studies have found that sleeping in this position is dangerous because babies have poor control of the neck muscles and the baby's airways can become blocked. Pediatricians recommend putting babies to sleep sleep on your back. It is also important not to cover the child's face with a blanket while sleeping. Not put soft toys in bed with a child. Extra objects in bed pose a danger. A baby moving in his sleep may accidentally move an object and block his airway.
What should a night's sleep be like?
Newborns do not have a clear innate mechanism that can adjust them to the mode you need. Babies sleep and are awake when you have to. Try bathing your baby before bed. If this is done regularly in the evening, the child will develop a certain element associated with sleep. The newborn will get used to the fact that after bathing he should sleep. Place your baby straight into a crib rather than a stroller. Try it swaddle thoroughly baby with hands. In this case, at night he will not be disturbed by twitching of his legs and arms, and he will not wake up in the shallow sleep phase. Darken, if possible, a room. All children open their eyes from time to time during the night; their attention in the dark will not be attracted by visible objects. But if you keep a dim light bulb on, you can serve your baby at night without turning on the bright light. Make sure that the room was warm. If your baby is a shallow sleeper, the cold will wake him up. But the child should not be too hot. Prepare everything in the evening what you need at night. When the child cries, go to him immediately so that he does not feel abandoned. Don't play with him, try not to talk during the night feeding. At night feeding should be associated only with food.
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