When misunderstanding between people leads to hostility. Misunderstanding is the longest distance between people. How to achieve understanding

Peace and enmity between people

Why do people fight? Where there is society, there are wars, conflicts, and turmoil. People fight each other for fame, gain and feelings. In spiritual circles, it is believed that all of a person's addictions fall into one of these categories. If a person is free from attachments, then he is at peace with the world.

People mainly fight for false ideas and a false concept of happiness. A false concept is manifested in the fact that a person thinks that by satisfying personal interests, he will be happy. However, many have noticed that the satisfaction of desires and victory over others, if it brings happiness, is fleeting. This is not the feeling of joy that arises in the soul from being in harmony with the world.

How to live with people in peace? The sages teach us not to be offended by others and to forgive those who have offended or hurt us. A little awareness will tell us that any negative feelings primarily hurt ourselves. Try the next time when you have a feeling of indignation, anger, irritation, just step aside, sit down, close your eyes and see what is happening to your body. In a state of negative emotions, the body tenses, contracts, and energy channels are clamped. On a more subtle level, negative emotions even have their own smell. A person who is often irritated and angry has a special smell. Greed, lust, laziness, envy - all also have their own special stench.

The best reconciliation is not to enter into “war” or conflict. In the teachings of Falun Dafa, you are taught not to respond with blow to blow, scolding with scolding, when your interests are harmed, you do not throw yourself down and do not enter into an argument with others. If you are offended or cursed, remain silent and smile in response. The sages also teach not to give reasons for a quarrel. Sometimes people are looking for a reason to make a scandal or quarrel, in which case it is better not to “blow into trouble” yourself.

In Zhuan Falun, Master Li Hongzhi gives this example:

“As soon as you cross the threshold of the house, your “half” will probably attackyou with reproaches. If you can bear this, then your practice today will notwill go to waste. Some also know that during practice you need to pay attentionon De, so usually the practitioner treats his “half” well. But here he isI thought: “Usually my word is firm, but today she sat on my head.” He couldn't suppresshis anger and quarreled with her. So today he practiced againfor nothing. Since karma exists there, your “half” helps eliminate it, but you don’tyou let her do it, you quarrel with her, which is why you fail to eliminate your karma.There are many such examples. Many of us have encountered such cases, but notthought why, when you are doing other things, your “half” is not for youinterferes, and now you are doing a good job, and she creates things for you all the timetroubles. In fact, she helps you eliminate karma, but she doesn’t talk about it herself.knows. It’s not that she only quarrels with you outwardly, but in her soul she has tenderness for you.No. She got seriously angry, because it’s hard for everyone on whom karma falls. I guaranteethat this is so."


Since this Fa (Fa) cannot be interpreted, one can only comprehend what one has comprehended at one's level. The author understands that when a conflict occurs, karma (black matter) falls on one of the parties, or on both sides. Very often, if you ask a person, or he asks himself, what the quarrel was actually about, it is difficult for the person to answer, since often there is no special reason. It’s just that when karma falls on a person, it’s hard for him, he encounters conflict and adversity. Why do conflicts with others occur when a person pays off karma? I think that it is precisely because there is black matter in his field and on his body, and when other people come into contact with this person’s field, the black matter transfers to them. And since people now, when they are born, are already immersed in karma, and the waves of karma, like a tsunami, roll out throughout humanity, then everyone encounters conflicts.

Teacher Li Hongzhi says:

“I often tell you about this situation, namely: when between two peoplea contradiction arises, everyone is looking for the reason: “What is my problem here?”Everyone is looking for what problem they have. If a third person saw that between thesetwo contradictions arose, then, I will say, it was not by chance that this third one was given thisto see, even he must think: “Why was I allowed to see their contradiction? Whether there is aDo I have any other shortcomings? This is the only right thing to do."

(Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in the Western United States (02/21-22/1999))

In my understanding, conflict is not just a method of eliminating karma, but also identifying attachments. If I have a conflict, I need to look within and see what bias of mine has been affected; or if I witnessed a conflict, then why was I allowed to see it and how would I act in this situation.

Ordinary people hope for a conciliator. But from a spiritual point of view, conflicts are created to eliminate karma, and if someone interferes, then how to firstly pay off the debt, and secondly, especially in the case of spiritual cultivators, how to identify their attachments?

In order to understand why they treated me in a way that seems “wrong” to me, you need to be a seer and see your entire history from the moment of the creation of your self (soul). And since such a gift is inherent in God, we cannot always clearly understand the reason for what is happening. Sometimes we can guess. A person lives more than one life, but in a cycle of karmic retribution. In the past, he could have offended someone, killed someone, humiliated someone, deprived someone. You will not lose, you will not gain - says the Heavenly Law. If I received benefit at the expense of another in the past, then I will have to give it to him this time. And if I don’t humble myself and give back to the offender, then a vicious circle forms where everyone owes each other. A piece of karma has fallen, but you have to be patient, endure it, and everything will go back to normal.

Usually it is not easy for people to forgive and to ask forgiveness from others. If you have the understanding described above, then in any conflict you understand that you yourself are to blame, that you yourself were the cause, then it is easier to forgive and it is easier to ask for forgiveness. If I am holy, then there will be no conflict on my path in life, all doors will open before me. And if there are quarrels and conflicts, then it’s his fault. Here we are not talking about the most brutal crimes against people or a saint.

In the Falun Dafa teachings, in the Canon “Exceeding the Limit of Tolerance,” Master Li says:

“Patience is not cowardice, much less meek worldly submission to evil. Dafa disciples' patience is something noble, representing the embodiment of great, indestructible, vital diamond hardness; this is a manifestation of generosity for the sake of establishing the truth; This is to show mercy and save those lives that have not yet lost their human nature and righteous thoughts. Patience does not mean boundless connivance, allowing those vile beings who have completely lost their human basis and righteous thoughts to commit atrocities without restraint. With such patience, a person can renounce everything for the sake of truth. However, patience does not mean being generous to those vile beings who have already lost their human nature and devoid of righteous thoughts, ignoring both human and heavenly laws, destroying sentient beings and the very existence of Dafa at various levels. Moreover, patience does not mean that you can turn a blind eye to murder and arson. Zhen Shan Ren* is the Law! He is the embodiment of the Great Law of the Universe on various levels, but in no way represents any human ideology or guidelines for ordinary human life as people understand it. If some vile lives have deteriorated to such a state that they can no longer be saved and preserved, then a variety of methods can be used at different levels to stop the evil and eliminate them.”

(“The Essence of Diligent Cultivation II”)

* Zhen Shan Ren - in Chinese means Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

When we talk about patience and forgiveness, we are talking about personal conflicts and enmity, when evil beings or people possessed by evil commit the atrocities described above.

Between ordinary people, especially if the two parties cannot resolve the conflict, it is good if there is a third party - a conciliator. For the conciliator, since he also cannot know the true reasons behind the conflict, it is important not to take either side, and simply play the role of reminding the universal principles of kindness, forgiveness, humility and acceptance of the situation. By taking one of the sides, a third party can not only prevent two quarreling people from paying off their sins, but also create karma himself, since he does not see predestination in what happened. A merciful heart can make things right.

Sometimes in conflicts people argue wanting to prove that they are right. Falun Dafa teaches that being right or wrong for a person who has dedicated his life to self-improvement is not at all important. Teacher says:

« Whether you are right or wrong does not matter to a cultivator. Don't argue left and right and don't emphasize who is right and who is wrong. Some people insist all the time that they are right, but even if you are right, even if you are not wrong, so what? Have you improved based on the Fa? Using human reasoning to determine who is right and who is wrong is itself wrong, because then you are using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself and using this logic to demand from others. According to the Gods, for a cultivator, being right or wrong in the human world is not at all important, while removing those attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is your ability to remove these attachments that is given importance in the process of cultivation.”

The above is the limited understanding of the author at this level.

Enmity is mutual hatred, hostility, unfriendly relations between people. It would seem that this definition is the complete opposite of the word “native”, the word “close”, but, unfortunately, in fiction there are many examples of cases where the relationship of loved ones is inferior to the relationship between two passers-by, and often worse. But why does enmity arise between relatives?

At its core, any relationship, be it friendship or love, is a constant work on oneself. A positive connection between people is, one way or another, a certain degree of sacrifice and self-control, because any relationship, no matter how strong it is, can instantly destroy or spoil selfishness, greed, rudeness, misunderstanding, and incorrectly set priorities. The same applies to relationships in the family: improper upbringing, excessive permissiveness, or, conversely, lack of love and attention - all this can become the root of the problem, the cause of rudeness, ill will and even mutual hostility. So, for example, in the story by N.V. Gogol's "Taras Bulba" the relationship between a father and two sons is built seemingly identically, but has a different outcome: the father kills his younger brother with his own hands. Was it enmity? Of course, because the son exchanged connections with loved ones, love for his homeland for the feelings that arose in him for the Polish woman. Taras Bulba could not withstand such betrayal, since by his nature he was a free Cossack and most of all in life he valued not family, not home, but life on the battlefield, life side by side with the Cossacks. However, it seems to me that the main member of the family himself was to blame for this enmity, this misunderstanding, this “betrayal,” because from the very beginning he built his relationships with his loved ones in the wrong way. He gave too little love and affection to his family and prioritized service to his homeland, although it seems to me that it was worthwhile, as it seems to me, to equally instill in his children tenderness, courage, affection, and determination, because this is what makes up the happiness of a person and his well-being in life. Perhaps, if Andrei trusted his father, he would have been able to come to him with repentance, tell him about his feelings and listen to advice, but he was either afraid of his father’s reaction, or did not expect anything current from him - in any case, the outcome was tragic for both.

The relationships in the Prostakov family from the comedy by D.I. also turned out to be tragic. Fonvizin "Undergrowth". But in this case, from the very beginning, it was precisely the moral component of the relationship between relatives that suffered: Prostakova, with her rudeness, tactlessness, bad manners, commercialism, interfered with the lives of her husband, and her brother, and the serfs - they answered her in the same way, and even Mitrofan, her son, whom she loved with all her heart and tried to please in everything, did not value her mother at all, did not value the good she received, and treated all her relatives with arrogance and rudeness. The reason for this mutual hostility was precisely the immorality of all family members, and it originated from improper upbringing and deliberately unhealthy, thoughtless communication with loved ones.

To summarize what has been said, I would like to once again emphasize that any relationship between people should be built on mutual understanding, mutual support and, importantly, mutual control - everything should be equal, even quarrels. Why does enmity arise between relatives? Because, most likely, from the very beginning, relationships in the family are built according to the wrong pattern or are not subject to any control at all. In order to avoid any incidents with upbringing in the future, you need to approach it wisely and think through most of your actions in advance, because there is nothing worse than hostility between the closest people.

People very often do not appreciate what they have. They often swear, quarrel, and set priorities incorrectly. The worst quarrels arise between relatives, because misunderstandings can lead to enmity for life. This attitude spoils the mood, perception of life and kills all aspirations in a person. This absolutely cannot be allowed, since the most faithful and loving people are our relatives.

Therefore, I want there to be more mutual understanding, respect and a desire to smooth out rough edges. Since not a single enmity between relatives has yet led to anything good.

Final essay: Why does enmity arise between relatives?

It is extremely important to love and respect your family. Relatives are those who will come to your aid in a difficult life situation; these are the people who will love you regardless of time and circumstances. But they say that from love to hate there is only one step. Very often relatives begin to quarrel. This can happen from hatred, from envy, from kits. Some people believe that relatives should do whatever they need for them. This attitude can lead to hostility. This is bad, and when hostility has already begun, it is very difficult to establish relationships again, learn to forgive and appreciate people.

Often relatives begin to quarrel over inheritance. Money is an evil that can destroy all connections and destroy a warm and kind relationship. Money makes you lose your soul mate. Often, due to greed, people do not understand that they are offending relatives who have always been with us and come to our aid.

Hostile relationships make people angry. Enmity destroys families, spoils mood, and drives a person into a depressed state. In order to avoid this, I think that you need to learn not to envy your family, help each other and be more responsive. It is extremely important to learn to listen to each other and forgive. It is important to learn to forget grievances. It is important to believe that there will be no more bad deeds.

I want my family to never know anything about the feud. I want our family to always have warm and trusting relationships. It is important to me that our family has a favorable climate. I want everyone in our family to help each other and not be offended by each other over trifles. If every family begins to live by such principles, perhaps our world will become a little kinder and more positive, and hostility will be completely eradicated and will no longer knock on the door of any family.

Arguments, thesis. You can use Taras Bulba as a work

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When people are too opinionated to allow for an alternative point of view, they often have conflicts with those who think differently than them. The reason is that we cannot moderate our desire to win an argument and impose our rightness on everyone, so we begin to get angry and angry just to prove our superiority. It is then that simple misunderstanding leads to hostility.

To argue my position, I will give examples from the literature. In Bulgakov’s dystopia “Heart of a Dog,” Professor Preobrazhensky and people’s representative Shvonder are at enmity. It cannot be said that Philip Philipovich was the initiator of the conflict, but his very presence irritated the working people. Proletarian activists hated the “bourgeois” way of life and in every possible way oppressed those who adhered to it. They did not understand that a researcher of this magnitude could not live in a dormitory, since they had no education and did not recognize the value of scientific knowledge. The professor, on the contrary, was an intelligent man, but an old-regime man: he could not organically exist in the new reality. Preobrazhensky, in turn, did not understand the point of breaking the hierarchy and equating all people, because it is obvious that they are different. The enmity in this case arose because Shvonder could not put up with the fact that the professor was “more equal than others” and tried to harm him by writing slander and complaints. Philip Philipovich was forced to defend himself from attacks and also participate in the confrontation.

Another example can be found in Turgenev's novel Fathers and Sons. Pavel Petrovich and Evgeniy Vasilyevich also did not understand each other. They were representatives of different generations, so their views did not coincide. In addition, they belonged to different classes. One of them moved in society all his life and made a career at court, the other conducted experiments in the wilderness, giving preference to practically significant areas of activity. It would seem that they could have limited themselves to misunderstanding, but enmity arose. This happened because from words the opponents came to disputes, and from disputes - to an armed clash. Both tried to assert themselves and overpower the enemy, constantly escalating the situation. As a result, they brought the conflict to the point that they could no longer live in the same house.

When does misunderstanding between people lead to hostility? Examples from literature show us that this happens when we are filled with pride or vanity and deliberately narrow our horizons to concepts that we recognize as perfect. It is then that a person cannot allow that there are those in the world who disagree with him.

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Residents of Chechnya perceive new protests in Ingushetia with restraint, regarding them as a political provocation on the part of a narrow opposition group. The protests will not affect relations between the two peoples, Chechen activists and residents of the republic interviewed by the Caucasian Knot are confident.

As “” wrote, on March 26, residents of Ingushetia, demanding the resignation of Yunus-Bek Yevkurov, without permission from the authorities, extended a protest rally organized by the “Support of Ingushetia” movement on the square in Magas. This led to clashes with security forces. Protesters left the square on March 27 after protest leaders called on protesters to disperse. Later, hundreds of people blocked the Caucasus highway at the entrance to Nazran for several hours. On the night of March 28, motorists held a massive spontaneous rally in Nazran, after which additional detachments of security forces were sent to the city. On March 29, Yevkurov accused the leaders of the Ingush protest of irresponsibility

A 24-hour protest against changes in the border with Chechnya took place in the capital of Ingushetia from October 4 to October 17, 2018. The protesters demanded a referendum on the border issue and the resignation of the head of the republic. The "Caucasian Knot" maintains an updated chronicle "".

Chechens do not perceive the rallies in Ingushetia as a reproach against them, since they see in these protests only the internal political conflict of the neighboring republic, says the head of the Assembly of Peoples of the Caucasus Ruslan Kutaev .

“Past rallies and new rallies are the desire of one politicized part of the Ingush elite to remove the head of the republic. The transfer of land is a reason to “shake” Yevkurov’s chair and to ensure that the federal center replaces the head of the republic. In Chechnya they do not see the difference between (last year’s and current) rallies and do not perceive them as a reproach against the Chechens,” he told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.

There will be no contradictions at the level of nations, Kutaev believes. “Nothing can discredit the relations between the Ingush and Chechens, I am convinced of this. We are so interconnected that one or two [private] conflicts will not affect the relations between peoples. Let’s say a quarrel occurs between a group of Ingush and a group of Chechens, but no matter how loud this conflict may be, it cannot quarrel entire nations bound by fraternal historical ties,” the head of the Assembly of Peoples of the Caucasus is convinced.

During the autumn rallies of 2018 in Ingushetia, residents of the two republics expressed complaints to each other, noted an employee of a Chechen NGO Idris . “There was a lot of tension, it came to mutual accusations and threats, it’s good that everything was limited to that. Now everything has started again in a new way, and this cannot but be alarming,” he told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.

The new round of rallies in Ingushetia did not surprise anyone in Chechnya, although residents of Chechnya do not share the logic of the Ingush opposition, says a Chechen human rights activist Aset Malsagova .

“Last year, the Chechens [hoped] that the Ingush would come to their senses, because in 1992 [the Chechens] happily handed over the Sunzha and Malgobek districts to Ingushetia. But the new round of rallies did not surprise anyone, and the slogans heard about the resignation of the leadership highlight the true goals of the organizers,” Malsagova told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.

Disputes between Chechnya and Ingushetia regarding the ownership of the Sunzhensky and Malgobek districts have been going on since the mid-1990s, according to the Caucasian Knot document “Territorial disputes between Ingushetia and Chechnya”.

New rallies of the Ingush opposition are perceived calmly in Chechnya. “Chechens are not afraid of growing tensions and friction between our peoples; people understand the essence and background of these intrigues,” Malsagova noted.

A Grozny school teacher agrees with Aset Malsagova’s opinion Petimat . “The fact that this issue of borders is raised over and over again in Ingushetia is irritating,” the woman told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.

On the "Caucasian Knot" you can read the full text of the Agreement on fixing the border between Chechnya and Ingushetia with its annexes (map and geodetic description of the border). Also on the "Caucasian Knot" is the material "Dispute about the Chechen-Ingush border: arguments of the parties."

Representative of the Assembly of Peoples of the Caucasus in international organizations in Europe Nasir Buluev I am sure that there will be no conflict between Chechens and Ingush.

“I don’t think that the protesters express the opinion of the majority of Ingush. (They) are trying to turn young people against the Chechens. There will be no war between Chechens and Ingush. You can see how calmly the Chechens react to this; they can gather a million-strong rally in a day, but they don’t do this so as not to provoke the Ingush. The Ingush themselves must figure out who is their friend and who is their enemy,” the activist told the Caucasian Knot.

A resident of Chechnya expressed a similar opinion about the protests in Ingushetia Salavdi . “The Ingush opposition has its own goals, it’s just a pity that two fraternal peoples are being pulled into this showdown. Now the Ingush side is again demanding the cancellation of the agreement [on the border], plus the removal of Evkurov,” Salavdi told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent ".

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