The child refuses to sleep during the day for 3 years. Question to the psychologist: the child refuses to sleep during the day. Alarm bell. When to see a doctor

When a baby is just born, if you create comfortable sleeping conditions for him, he usually sleeps. You get used to this state of affairs very quickly and, at times, it seems that it will always be so. And while the child is asleep, the mother will easily and naturally manage everything.

But the baby grows, develops, adapts to the outside world and more and more often comes into contact with this world. This surprises a young mother from time to time.

- Like this?! Only I adjusted to sleep three hours after two, and here on you! Already two in three!

Closer to two or three years, the time of X comes. This is when the baby categorically does not agree to sleep anymore, except for the night.
On the one hand, this is commendable. After all, another person has grown up in your house, making independent decisions!

And everything would be fine if not for one "BUT". Until the evening without a day's sleep, this person does not hold out in any way. Turns towards evening into a whiny "bun" and spoils the evening for himself and those around him.

- What if the child refuses to sleep during the day?

- you ask.

The question is, of course, interesting! And I have no universal answer, for example.

With every child, literally every day, I vary the various techniques I know. And, as a rule, one of them works. If, suddenly, it didn’t work, it means one thing - I just didn’t really want my child to sleep now.

Well, since this topic has long been relevant in our life with Masha, I decided to collect all the methods of putting to bed we studied into one memo. Indeed, it often happens that at the right moment, seemingly worked out skills are suddenly taken and forgotten.

And here, please - a cheat sheet! He took it out, wiggled his finger, chose the desired item and - to action!

So we've put together our most effective ways to lay your 3-year-old baby in this mom's cheat sheet.

There were exactly ten ways.
You could, of course, remember more.
But I decided that 10 ways to put a child 2 - 3 years old to sleep, this is quite a sufficient assortment of mom's cheat sheet to confidently guarantee the success of the enterprise.

I went through all sorts of different methods. For any, so to speak, taste and color.
So fly in, choose! Some of the methods are probably right for you and your baby today!

Method one:

Fall asleep next to, or pretend

Most often, this method works like this.
Mom (or dad) lies down next to the baby and with the thought that, now, he will lie down for a while, wait until the beloved child loses vigilance and slumbers, and immediately "cheerful" will return to his business.
In fact, it turns out like this: exhausted by the continuous "cheerfulness" mom (or dad) is "cut down" first (s). The child jumps for a long time and has fun on his mom (or dad), and then, when he realizes that mom (or dad) doesn’t want to play, out of despair they sit side by side and fall asleep.

Pros: Working. Simple, accessible (if, of course, there is where to lie). If you are in no hurry - perfect! Useful for health, vigor, preservation of youth and restoration of the nervous system of mom (or dad).

Minuses: It may turn out that things will have to wait. If you still need to do something during the child's sleep, you should not be optimistic about your stamina in the supine state. However, if you are absolutely sure of yourself, or do not mind sleeping, then I do not find a single minus in this method.

Method two:

Shrek. The work of Marina and Masha. Now, apparently, Masha has nothing to fear

Grandfather Babay, wolf, Shrek and other mother's helpers

Who has not heard about Grandfather Babai before going to bed in childhood? By the way, there is also a wolf. Typically gray.
And we also have Shrek in our arsenal.
Earlier, when Masha was less quick-witted and took everyone's word for it, and the honorable duty of putting her sister in bed went to the older Marina, the caring little sister invented Shrek. Shrek worked flawlessly. Marina simply said:

- Well, that's it, Mash! Now, if we don't go to bed, Shrek will come.

And Masha obediently went to bed with Marina.
Then Masha began to guess that, in fact, Marina was thinking of this Shrek.
And then she also started to get scared. At the same time, the thought that Shreka was still invented by Marina did not leave her. In short, the method first began to fail, and then almost completely dropped out of our everyday life.
The truth remains like this (sometimes it helps). Marina hides some Toy Cars and says:

- Masha. Shrek doesn't like it when kids are awake. He hid your horses. And he asked me to tell you that he will return them only when you sleep!

Masha courageously falls asleep to save the horses. And when he wakes up, he runs to look for them.

Pros: It also works quite often. Especially at a young age.

Minuses: The child can be seriously and for a long time scared. I think any psychologist would disagree with the use of this method. Blackmail and intimidation are still not pedagogical methods.

Method three:

Calming games before bed

You can play, for example, that your baby is a mother. Mom has children. And they don't know how to sleep. Show your little ones what it is like to sleep.

- How have you already shown? Look, mother! All your kids are scattering! Show it well!

Marina and Masha play with pussies. Marina is a mom-pussy, Masha is a baby-pussy. Pussies go to their cat house and go to bed there. As a rule, they have some other prelude. For example, pussies wash their paws.

You can play "representations". Mom and baby close their eyes together and imagine that they are somewhere. For example, in a meadow. And a discussion begins about what they see there, where they are going, what they are doing.

- I see red poppies in the meadow! Do you see, Masha, my poppies?
- I see! And I have chamomile!
- And a goat has come to me! She wants clover. Let's find a clover for a goat.
- Let's!
- Do you see the clover?
- Not. I do not see.
- It seems to me that the clover should be in-oh-oh-he behind that rose hip bush. Let's go to him along the path and see.
- Let's! Top-top.
- Top-top. Are your feet shod or barefoot?

Etc…
Pros: This game is always and from any point of view it is good, "developmental" and one continuous benefit.
Minuses: Often the baby refuses to play, realizing that this is not just a game, but an attempt to put him to sleep.
And also ... Our Masha loves to play representations. We close our eyes and start looking with her for the lambs lost in the grass. Great! That's just, until Masha finds all the lambs, she won't even think about sleeping!))

Method four:
How to quickly put a child to sleep?

Well, of course - roll it off!

Please do not confuse it with motion sickness! In my opinion, motion sickness of children is fraught with quick addiction. As a result, the child falls asleep only in conditions of rolling. And this is terribly inconvenient.
So. Precisely to roll. We divide this method into three types of rolling:

In a stroller
In a bicycle seat
In a car seat

The choice of a product depends entirely on our plans, time of year and weather.

Roll in a stroller

We are still friends with the stroller. Because very often we go somewhere far away, for half a day. And Masha is with us. We take a stroller with us, it has everything that we may need. In the middle of the day, it happens and manages to "roll" Masha. True, the closer to three, the more often such attempts turn into skiing along the routes indicated by Masha.

- Now on the stumps!

- Now for donuts!

- Now to the red apple ...

Pros: Sleeping outdoors is good for you! Mom can dream at the same time, and sometimes listen to music or chat on the phone.
Yes! You can run with a stroller. And that's a PLUS - free fitness.
I did this often when Marina had a smaller bike. Now I can only combine it with a scooter. I won't catch up with the bike :).
You can combine the daytime sleep of a younger child with some kind of visits. For example - sections, shops, libraries ...
Once our Masha even went to the Music Hall in her sleep! True, I woke up as soon as it began. It's interesting!

Minuses:
It happens that it doesn't work. It is not always necessary to go somewhere. Good in summer, so-so in winter.

Roll in a bicycle seat

Yes Yes! We have been practicing this method for the second season in the summer. First we have lunch, and then we go on a trip. Masha has her own bicycle seat. It is good to swing and fall asleep in it.
The main thing in this business is to choose the route in such a way that on the way back it was necessary to go without stopping decently. So that the child has time to fall asleep.
But in moderation. So that the baby does not start to fall out of the chair. It is especially uncomfortable with a baby sleeping in a bicycle seat on rough terrain - the head begins to tilt and fall.
There seem to be chairs with a strong backward tilt. BUT. In my opinion, such a tilt will severely disrupt the aerodynamics of the bike. Even with our incline, the bike is difficult to roll.
It would be optimal if the bike seat had a head support. Perhaps these have already been invented.

Pros: Despite the seeming intricacy of the method, it works. If you like to ride, walk, fresh air, and in the summer it is much more pleasant for you to ride with children than to read the twentieth fairy tale in a stuffy room, this is a great way for summer "on the occasion."

Minuses: Not suitable in the rain (among other things - there are raincoats), winter and much more when. And it will not do at all if you are not on friendly terms with the bike.

Roll in the car

Well, what can I say - we sat down and drove off. You can even roll me in a car. Honestly.

Pros: Working.

Minuses: I need a car. And gasoline. It is not very correlated with sleeping in the open air.

Method five:

Take the child into the arms

Often Masha falls asleep with us like that. By the way, at the same time she often endures such hardships as reading a book to Marina, or to her mother.

Pros: Can be combined with any additional case.
Minuses: Inconvenient. And also - there is a danger of falling asleep.

Method six:

The kid can instantly fall asleep if ... teased!

The other day, when even the ice cream promise didn’t pass, I remembered such a thing as the “two-year crisis”. So I was told, when Marina was at the Machine age, is the name of a child's sudden protest to everything.
We then, so that Marina put on a sweater, said

- Marina, don't wear a sweater!

And she put on.
It was on this principle that I stated:

- Masha! I no longer allow you to climb into bed, cover yourself with a blanket, and even more so - put your head on the pillow!

Masha in indignation slapped her fist on the crib, and immediately did it all.

Or you can:

- And Masha knows how to go to bed herself?

- Not! What do you! She is still small! She needs her mom to pack! It's only big girls who can do that. They come into their room, take off their shorts and T-shirt, hang them neatly on a highchair, and lay on their pillow. And they even know how to cover themselves with a blanket!
And then they close their eyes and sleep.

- Yes. Here Marina, when she was little, was so good! But Masha, what - she can't ?!

- Not! Masha is still little!

After this, most often the child finds himself in a crib with his eyes closed and clothes neatly hung on a high chair.

Pros: If it suddenly works - the most troublesome method.
Minuses: It may not work.

Method seven:

Read to the child until he falls asleep

Why is this method # 7 and not # 1?
Because he does not help often. At a certain age, children in general often snatch books out of their hands and are not allowed to read. Then they start to get interested. And this is great!
But! They listen so attentively that they just can't sleep.
And so, only very recently, when Masha was almost three years old, I discovered that if I can persuade her to lie down and close her eyes "Books are read only to those who are lying down and whose eyes are closed", then you can read her quietly for a very long time and in a sleepy voice (only what Masha likes) ... Then Masha eventually falls asleep !!!

Pros: During the laying down, the child learns many new and repeats many old children's literary works. Yes, and mom's horizons, too, will probably replenish.

Minuses: We have it for a very long time. Masha can listen like that for two hours. It so happens that I start to fall asleep earlier. A deliberately quiet and sleepy voice makes itself felt.

Method eight:

It will help to lay the baby in the afternoon ...

Fairy of Day Dream!

- If you put a small coin under the pillow, the Day Dream Fairy will come. Take a coin and leave a candy. But only when you fall asleep!

Pros: Working. We use it often.
Minuses: Also not very much in line with the ideas of proper nutrition and education.

Method nine:

Sleeping reward

- Masha. Those who sleep with us now have a cockerel on a stick!
- Masha. If you don’t fall asleep right now, dad will see that you don’t know how to sleep during the day, and will not take you on a hike!
- Masha. As soon as you wake up, we'll immediately go for ice cream.

Pros: The filling reward works flawlessly and lightning fast!
Minuses: You need to figure out what to promise. It's not every day that the family goes on a hike. There are cockerels and ice cream. Not quite a good afternoon tea, let's face it.

Method ten:

Sleeping tales

Tell the child a fairy tale, according to which the child urgently needs to fall asleep.
For example, this one.

- When the kids fall asleep, a fairy meets them in a dream. The fairy who distributes dreams. Fairy dreams are different, but each type is not many. Here you are, Masha, what do you want to dream about?
- About sweet candy!
- The fairy has dreams with big sweet candies! The baby will get such a dream, and the whole dream he will feast on the largest and sweetest candy. Only such dreams are few in the fairy. And they take them apart first. Many kids love candy. Truth?
- Truth!
- Here. If you want the dream about candy to go to you, you need to fall asleep as soon as possible!

It happens that the conversation turns in an unnecessary direction for us.

- But mom! I don't want to sleep at all!
- It seems to you now that you do not want to. And in two hours, you will no longer seem so.

You will really want to sleep. Because little babies can't stay awake all day.
And so, in two hours you will fall asleep, and all the best dreams of the fairy have already been sorted out by other kids. Who listened to their mother and went to bed on time.

- And what kind of dream will I have? - Masha is worried.
- About bebek-byabyak.
- Who is this?
- I do not know. And the fairy doesn't know. These are the remnants of dreams. Oldest and worn out. It must have been good, good dreams before. And then, a long time passed, and they wore out. Many letters have been erased from them. So we got dreams about something incomprehensible. About bebek and about byabyaka.
- I don’t want to talk about baby! - Masha concludes and, sighing resignedly, puts her head on the pillow.

Pros: such a good sleepy fabulous method

Minuses: a frequent counter-argument is "and I'm not going to sleep at all"

So our ten ways are over.
All of them have been personally tested by us, and have been used many times. All at a certain point in time and in certain circumstances, more than once served us well.
So, hopefully, now putting your baby to bed is a little easier too.
Successful application and the earliest good dreams to your baby!

It just so happened that recently many parents have come to me for a pediatric appointment with the problem of a baby's refusal from daytime sleep at 2-3 years old.

The concern of parents in such cases is quite natural, since sleep for children is not only rest. Both the work of the nervous system and immunity depend on the proper sleep of the child. And that children grow up in a dream is also true. I will tell you more about why a child needs to rest during the day just below.

So, today we will talk about the most pressing topic for modern parents and the same modern children: a child does not want to sleep in the afternoon at 2-3 years old.

Let's discuss the possible reasons for the baby's refusal to go to bed during the day. In what cases is this a physiological feature, and in what cases it is a reason for consulting a specialist. We will also talk about what to do in such situations.

Let's get acquainted with the physiological norms of the needs of babies of this age for sleep both during the day and at night.

I can say that in modern children, starting from infancy, there is a tendency to sleep less than the norm in medicine during the day.

For example, a newborn baby needs to sleep from feeding to feeding. That is, spend 18-20 hours in a dream. In practice, such cases are rare.

So, modern pediatrics offers the following need for sleep for babies two to three years old:

Child's age	Daytime sleep	Night sleep
2 years	2 hours	10-11 hours
3 years	1-1.5 hours	9-10 hours

Children are individual. Therefore, no one demands strictly adhere to these norms. The difference in sleep duration plus or minus up to one and a half hours is acceptable at this age.

As a rule, by the age of 2, babies go to bed once during the day. And they sleep at least 1.5 hours. That is, after every six hours of wakefulness, they need a short rest in the form of sleep.

Often, children by 3-4 years old refuse from daytime sleep without any consequences. But the majority still need adequate rest in the form of naps until school age.

If your baby has given up daytime sleep, and pours out "his norm" (12-13 hours) during the night, then this is his right. There is no need to worry yet when the baby feels great, remains cheerful, active, inquisitive and is not capricious, left without a day's sleep.

Many parents of babies who have given up daytime sleep note a pattern that they themselves, in their distant childhood, broke early with the habit of sleeping during the day.

This cannot be called a hereditary predisposition)) But this interesting regularity from practical experience gives food for thought ...

Why does a child need daytime sleep?

And without any scientific evidence, mothers know that a full sleep of a baby has a beneficial effect on his mental state. Sleepy child is cheerful, calm, shows interest in new things. He is able to independently find something to do, fantasize, invent games.

Good sleep is the main prevention of behavioral and neurological disorders in children.

By about two years of age, the neuropsychic processes in the human brain become seriously complicated. Therefore, a child who did not sleep during the day very often even in the evening cannot fall asleep from overexcitation. All this is the result of overworking the nervous system.

It is completely wrong to assume that during sleep, the nervous system and, in particular, the brain, rest. They work. More precisely, they "process" the information received, the impressions and emotions of the child. Sleep is a so-called "reboot" for our brain.

Chronic lack of sleep imbalances many organs and systems of the body. Indeed, many hormones and biologically active substances are produced during sleep.

Therefore, constant lack of sleep negatively affects the functioning of the baby's immunity. Also, these children have a reduced ability to concentrate, learn and memorize. The behavior of the guys also suffers. They become irritable and moody.

There can be many reasons for disturbed daytime sleep in children 2-3 years old.

Most often you have to deal with the following:

Late waking up of the child (closer to noon) due to prolonged sleep at night. When a child sleeps until 10-11 o'clock in the afternoon, he simply will not get tired by 14-15 o'clock in the afternoon. As a result, the child does not want to go to bed during the day. Towards evening, the child may want to sleep, but such a late evening sleep, again, postpones the withdrawal to night sleep. Late laying the child for a night's sleep also promises a late rise in the morning. The circle is complete.
Energy is not wasted. If the child did not run enough, walked on foot, played outdoor games, then he, not feeling tired, cannot fall asleep and does not want to. It is walking in the fresh air that allows the baby to spend a lot of energy. But at the same time, the child's nervous system is not overexcited, as in active games "within four walls."
The kid is excited. Many parents noticed that when the usual way of life is disturbed by some non-standard event (the arrival of guests, a trip to the store, a trip somewhere, a change in time zones), then an excited baby does not want to go to bed during the day. Sometimes all attempts to lay the baby are reduced to zero. As a result, both mother and baby are exhausted, but the goal is not achieved. Frequent cases - emotional stress and nervous overexcitement associated with excessively active games in the morning.
External stimuli. It is stuffy or cold in the room, uncomfortable clothes for sleeping, too light, extraneous sounds, inappropriate bed arrangement, uncomfortable bedding - this is only an approximate and far from complete list of everything that can prevent a child from falling asleep.
Failure to comply with the daily regimen and sleep by parents. Many parents will say: "Mode for a child - sounds kind of harsh." I hasten to assure you that the concept of a regime does not mean training and the requirements for specific actions at a given moment, but the sequence of actions and events during the day. This gives a feeling of stability and comfort. Thanks to this, the child is clearly oriented in time.

For example, it is morning now, and in the morning we have breakfast. Then we brush our teeth. Then we take out the toys that have already slept and play. And very soon we will go for the first walk. And after the walk everyone needs to rest. Etc.

Children quickly adopt the model of behavior of adults in the family. They often perceive all unfamiliar actions or events with apprehension or with obvious rejection. And if the events are predictable and familiar, then he will not have to explain for a long time that it is necessary and that everyone does it.

This is an excellent method to teach a child from childhood without much persuasion to brush their teeth, make the bed, remove toys and the like.

I know what I'm talking about ... I would like to share my experience of improving my son's sleep by switching to "mode". But more on that below.

When you start to figure out with the baby's mother what the problem started with, very often the same situation is found out. Mothers say: today I couldn't put it to sleep, there was no time to put it, because ...

Today mom didn’t have time for one reason, tomorrow - for another ... And after a week the baby was already used to not sleeping. The body has adapted, the habit has formed. And it takes effort and time to form the opposite habit.

So before asking the question why your baby does not sleep during the day, to someone else, ask yourself. And honestly answer yourself. Of course, not always, but often this is how it is possible to find the cause and solve the problem.

It is also worth highlighting separately the pathological causes of a neurological nature, in connection with which the baby's sleep was disturbed.

1. Hyperactive toddler. These energizer babies are in constant motion, are very active, act impulsively, without any hesitation.

They find it difficult to concentrate on the game. They fuss, sloppy - breaking or dropping things. Emotional outbursts and rapid mood swings are observed. As a rule, they sleep little, restlessly and intermittently. These are all the features of the work of their nervous system.

It is too early and wrong to talk about hyperactivity and lack of attention (ADHD) at two or three years of age. But it is necessary to catch the general tendency of development and peculiarities of the baby's behavior at this age.

The behavior of the parents of such hyperactive babies should "extinguish" this hyperactivity or direct it in the right direction. And the wrong position of the parents can harm the child and form complexes in the crumbs.

Thus, parents who are always irritable and / or blaming everyone around for all the "sins" expose the baby to chronic stress.

For hyperactive children, a daily regimen is simply necessary. Repetitive actions every day in a certain order stimulate the production of a "biological clock" in the body. So it will be easier for the guys to readjust to change their activities.

2. Latent somatic diseases in children over two years of age can cause anxiety and sleep disturbances. Strong emotions or impressions experienced during the day can interrupt their sleep.

Only a specialist will help you understand the true causes of your baby's sleep disturbance. And such a visit to the doctor should not be postponed.

What should the baby's parents do?

The quality and duration of a baby's sleep directly depends on how the baby spends the day. Everything matters - how the baby eats, how and where he walks, where he sleeps, and so on.

Namely:

1. Do not overfeed your baby before bed. After the last meal and bedtime, at least half an hour should pass.

2. Eliminate all possible external stimuli (noise, bright lights, uncleaned toys).

3. Ventilate the room where the baby should sleep. Monitor the humidity and temperature in the room. Too dry air will cause the child to dry out the mucous membranes, thirst. The baby will be uncomfortable, he will often wake up. The optimum room temperature is 19-21˚С.

4. Stick to the regime. Try to put the baby at the same time. Laying down should be preceded by repeated "sleepy" rituals from day to day.

This could be reading books, drawing, or any quiet activity. You can invite your baby to put his toys to bed, close the curtains, and change into pajamas. He will be calmer if he knows that everyone will rest with him.

5. Eliminate visual and emotional overload. Don't let your child watch cartoons before bed. All communication with "on-screen friends" generally should be minimized at this age.

Cartoons all day in the background are a huge evil. First of all, mother should be weaned from this. The general objection is that this is so convenient: turned it on - and the baby is busy, mom can do something. But you somehow choose for yourself from two options - it is convenient for you or a healthy nervous system and normal sleep of the baby.

6. Do not scold your child if he cannot sleep. Maintain a relaxed family atmosphere. The irritable tone of the mother only further excites the nervous system of the baby. Therefore, screaming and threats will not only not help put the child to bed, but will leave a persistent negative attitude towards sleep and bed in general.

At this age, children have the so-called mirroring syndrome of the mother's emotions and mood. Children often adopt the way they communicate and the emotions of their mother. Imitate their parents in everything. Be a good example for your child.

7. Organize your child's day so that he gets proper physical activity in the morning. The child should throw out energy, play well and actively on the street.

Also, make sure that this activity smoothly turns into a quiet pastime before bed. Avoid overly emotional games. This can interfere with your baby's restful sleep.

8. Children of different ages need different times to fall asleep. Children aged 2 years may take 20-30 minutes to fall asleep. And three-year-olds can spend even an hour falling asleep. Show love, calmness, patience, and fortitude.

All children are different. You always need to take into account the characteristics of a particular baby, his temperament.

And yet it is more than desirable for a child of two years to keep the daytime sleep. Moreover, if you are going to send your child to kindergarten later. There is a dream in the mode of the day. If the child is not used to sleeping, this is additional stress when adapting to kindergarten.

By the age of three, children are more likely to give up sleep. Yes, and their age is approaching - “I don’t want to, I won’t!”. In other words, the crisis is three years old.

Of course, you can get out of this using their own methods. To say that you won't sleep today. The kid will want to resist this and, quite likely, will say - “No. I will!"

If the baby categorically refuses to sleep during the day, but at the same time behaves calmly until the evening, then you should not be zealous. Replace sleep with quiet reading, sculpting, drawing, picking up puzzles, large beads or pasta in a "necklace" for mom.

It is likely that in such babies, early going to bed in the evening and a full night's sleep will compensate for the lack of daytime sleep.

Unfortunately, not all sleep problems can be solved by correcting a child's day regimen. In case of disturbance in your child's sleep and falling asleep processes, not only during the day, but also at night, it is worth contacting a pediatrician and a neurologist. Especially if such sleep changes are systemic.

A neurologist will conduct an examination and exclude the causes of neurological sleep disorders. He can prescribe relaxing massages, soothing baths, herbal medicine, and other beneficial and effective treatments.

Since birth, my son slept intermittently. After constant awakenings, they had to lay him down, swinging him in his arms. So I instilled in him a bad habit - to sleep in my arms.

Gradually shifting to the crib became more and more difficult for us. Something had to be changed.

As a doctor, I understood that he had no neurological disorders that could lead to sleep disturbances.

Sleeping in a wheelchair on the street was not a salvation for us either. Almost from the moment when the son learned to sit on his own in the stroller, he preferred to look at everything, rather than sleep on the street.

All parents want to somehow plan their day. I'm not an exception. And gradually I came to the conclusion that the child needs a regime.

As a result, we introduced two walks into the regime: before the daytime sleep and in the evening. Thanks to this, the child began to sleep better and longer. After a sound sleep, the child woke up in a good mood, and not with a feeling of accidentally interrupted sleep, as before.

Gradually, motion sickness on the hands was minimized. Before going to bed, we worked out "rituals". We collect toys, put our toy "car park" in the garage, close the blinds, say goodbye and wish good night in the evening or sweet dreams in the afternoon to all family members, read fairy tales.

And then for a long time we list together with the mother all the animals familiar to the child who have already gone to bed. So the son falls asleep more calmly, because he knows that the "movement" and the games are over not only for him.

I repeat once again that many (most!) Problems of children are in the behavior of their parents. I could hardly explain to our dad that the baby's crib should only be used for sleeping. And you shouldn't use it as a playpen or a trampoline.

Strictly and scrupulously adhering to the daily routine for up to minutes is impossible and unnecessary. First of all, you need to focus on the behavior and mood of the child. If my son woke up early in the morning, then I plan a walk, his lunch and nap a little earlier than usual.

Unanimity of opinions of parents, confident persistence and purposefulness of all actions are very important in this process of establishing sleep. May you and your baby enjoy a dream! Let him sleep soundly and grow big, big and healthy!

A practicing pediatrician and twice mother Elena Borisova-Tsarenok told you about the problem of children refusing to sleep during the day at 2-3 years old.

At about 2 years of age, a natural leap occurs in the development of the baby and he begins to give up daytime sleep.

I have several acquaintances who decided that since the child does not sleep during the day, then he does not need it.

A couple of days passed and the accumulated lack of sleep began to affect the baby: nervous, crying, irritable. It was then that they immediately remembered about me and began to ask what to do to get the dream back.

Therefore, today we will analyze the daytime sleep at 2 years old and how to cope with the rejection of it?

Why is it important to keep your daytime sleep?

Daytime sleep is useful in that it makes it possible to compensate for the lack of sleep after the night (if this happened);
The baby's nervous system is still immature, and he gets a lot of impressions during wakefulness. During sleep during the day, information is being processed and structured, which means that a "place" for new knowledge and impressions is freed in memory;
Most children at the age of 1.5-2 become even more mobile. And too long wakefulness is undesirable for a small organism. This leads to rapid fatigue and poor coordination of movements. It is important to take a break and sleep;
Refusal of daytime sleep at 2 years old leads to overwork. As a result, the child may fall asleep worse at night. And in an overworked state, it is impossible to completely relax and rest;
Sleep during the day has a beneficial effect on strengthening the immune system. The defenses of the baby's body increase.

How long should children rest during the day and night? Total sleep for a child aged 1.5 to 2 years should be 12-14 hours (average 13 hours). But it can be distributed in babies in different ways. For example, if a child sleeps 11 hours a night, then his sleep will be about 2 hours during the day.

Up to 4 years old it is necessary to sleep during the day. Daytime sleep is by no means an obstacle to nighttime sleep, but, on the contrary, only improves its quality. After 4 years, you can smoothly leave the tradition of sleeping during the day. Although in moments of overwork, such rest will always be useful.

Reasons for refusing daytime sleep

So why does the child stop sleeping during the day, so in need of rest?

The reason is most often a new leap in the growth and development of the nervous system. It is still quite difficult for a baby to cope with overexcitation and calm down in time;
A banal reason - the child "slept" all his norm at night;
The child has not yet had time to get tired. Perhaps you are trying to get him to bed too early, or he got up late in the morning and has not played enough yet. You can try to shift the time of daytime rest;
The kid becomes more and more independent and begins to realize it. Often, with the help of such refusals, children test their parents for strength;
Cessation of breastfeeding and the lack of the child's ability to fall asleep independently.

This is one of the frequent problems with which mothers turn to me for individual advice. They want to wean them off sooner in order to start getting enough sleep, but the miracle does not happen.

The child may sleep a little better at night, but in the afternoon, when laying down, real hell begins.

If you are still breastfeeding and planning to finish feeding, be sure to first teach your baby to fall asleep without breast, and then wean completely.

Technologies for teaching self-sleep are waiting for you in the online course How to teach a child to fall asleep and sleep without breast, night awakenings and motion sickness >>>

How to help your baby fall asleep during the day?

Of course, first of all, you need to take care of the observance of the daily regimen. It is important to go to bed, feed the baby at the same time (plus or minus half an hour). If the baby goes to kindergarten, then on weekends try to adhere to the same schedule as on weekdays;
The room where the child sleeps should be fresh. It must be regularly ventilated and the temperature and humidity in the room should be monitored. The air should not be very dry;
Before going to bed, try not to play outdoor games with your baby. Do something calmer with him: read a book, tell a fairy tale, have a relaxing massage, sing a melodic song;
Walk with your child more. Fresh air improves sleep quality. The most favorable option is to take a longer walk with the baby before lunch and daytime rest;
The quieter and darker the room, the easier it is for children to fall asleep;
If a child refuses daytime sleep at 2 years old, explanations will not help much. It is worth mentioning, of course, that rest is very important for him, that in a dream he grows, becomes stronger and smarter, gains strength for new games.

If you have already stopped breastfeeding, you can watch the seminar where I give practical tips and tricks on how to overcome the refusal to fall asleep: How to quickly put the baby to bed? >>>.

Do not scold your baby if he cannot sleep. Control your emotions and try to stay calm (current article: A child falls asleep for a long time, what to do? >>>);
Give your child the opportunity to choose before bed, such as which book to read, which song to sing, or what clothes they would like to sleep in. Children love to be proactive, are happy to be able to express their preferences as adults and thus respond more positively to your requests and directions;
You will be helped by creating a ritual for sleep (a benevolent phrase, fairy tale, massage, dressing up, putting toys to sleep, pulling curtains, lullaby, etc.) The main rules of the ritual: constancy, relaxing effect, maintaining close contact between mother and baby.

Almost every milestone in a child's development has its own crisis moments. For daytime sleep, the crisis period occurs exactly at about 2 years. But it all depends on the individual characteristics of each baby.

The main thing on the part of the parents is to adhere to the position that the difficulties that have arisen are temporary in nature, it is impossible to give up daytime sleep at this age, but, on the contrary, it is necessary to do everything possible to preserve it.

Often, many mothers are helped by strengthening their authority. This has a beneficial effect on the behavior of the child, on his obedience, including on going to bed during the day.

How and what you need to do to increase your authority, see the Mom-Home course! >>>

The result of a child's sleep should always be his excellent mood, active behavior and good health!

Daytime sleep is very important for children. Babies draw their strength in a dream, they need them for growth and full development. If the child gets enough sleep, he will always be cheerful, cheerful and active. He eats well, plays and makes contact with pleasure. It is believed that a child should sleep during the day until about 6-7 years old. In addition, there are certain sleep standards. For example, for newborns, sleep is considered the norm, the duration of which is 16-20 hours, of which 6-8 hours of daytime sleep (at least 4 times); for one-year-old children, this daily rate is reduced to 4-6 hours (2 times); and for children from one and a half to 7 years - up to 2 hours (1 time). However, we must understand that these data are average values and are only advisory in nature. All children are different and the need for daytime sleep is different for each baby. Some children sleep soundly during the day even in adolescence, some give up daytime sleep after 2 years, and some do not sleep even a year.

At the age of two, babies often refuse daytime sleep, this age is a turning point. At the same time, the anxiety of mothers is more often associated not with the fact that children are deviating from the accepted norms of sleep and they have no opportunity to engage in personal affairs, but rather with the fact that children who have given up lunchtime become naughty and capricious. At the same time, in the evening they begin to whimper and fall asleep, and when it comes time to go to bed for the night, they again become restless and active. Therefore, today we will talk about why the child does not sleep during the day, and how to teach him to rest during the day?

The main reasons why the child does not sleep during the day:

1. THE BABY DOESN'T NEED A DAY SLEEP.

Sound healthy sleep is a natural requirement of the human body, however, the indicator of normal and full-fledged vital activity of a child is not daytime sleep, but nighttime sleep! In the event that the baby sleeps soundly and sweetly all night, falls asleep calmly and quickly in the evening, and wakes up without problems in the morning, there is no need to worry that he refuses to sleep during the day. Why doesn't the child sleep during the day? Because he does not need it, but we are talking here only about those children who do not have such things as: nervous breakdowns, feeling unwell, inappropriate behavior, baseless whims, increased excitability or attempts to fall asleep earlier than usual. If you periodically encounter such problems, then, most likely, the reason why the child does not sleep during the day is completely different.

What to do in this case?

You need not panic, but calm down and try to understand the specifics of your child's body and come to terms with the fact that your baby does not need a daytime sleep. However, in this case, you still need to teach your baby to relax for a few minutes in the middle of the day. It is necessary that the child can lie down calmly, even without falling asleep, for a while. This is especially important for those children who go to kindergarten.

Engage the child in a fairy tale and conversation to put him in the crib. And, perhaps, to your delight, he still falls asleep.

2. FEATURES OF TEMPERAMENT.

In pediatric pediatrics, there is such a concept as "children with increased needs", or, more simply, children with neurological features. This is not a disease, but a diagnosis that you are unlikely to be able to get rid of, but to which you can adapt. In fact, these are hyperactive children. They are very emotional, impressionable, impulsive and overly active. At the same time, they quickly get tired, do not know how to relax and do not fall asleep well. As a rule, it is these children who have problems with sleep. They can be tormented by insomnia, sleepwalking, nightmares, pathological drowsiness, enuresis and other diseases associated with sleep disorders, even in adulthood.

What to do?

Consultation, observation and, most likely, treatment by a neurologist are required. Such children are shown a strict daily routine, emotional calmness, love and patience of parents, as well as the absence of any nervous shocks. They are contraindicated in computer games, watching TV for a long time and too active games.

3. MAOSH HAS BEEN EXCITED.

Here we mean one-time events: a trip to the cinema, circus, zoo, a long trip or some kind of strong shock, both positive and negative. This also includes accumulated fatigue - hyper-fatigue. For example, if for a long time the child had to get up early or go to bed late, and also, if for several days his life was too intense, active and emotional, then the unwillingness to sleep is a response of the child's body to overwork.

Try very hard to put your child to bed a little earlier than he wants to sleep. Try to take breaks between your child's activities, play passive games, and give your child more rest.

4. THE CHILD, on the contrary, did not get tired and did not use up its energy.

This reason is also, as a rule, short-lived. Children aged from one to 7 years have so much energy that any adult can only envy. Perhaps, for some time, due to some reason, your child walked, played less than usual and, accordingly, did not use up his daytime energy.

Extend the time spent outdoors, send your child to a dance class, exercise or play outdoor games.

5. THE BABY DOES NOT ADHERE TO THE DAY MODE

If yesterday you woke up at 9 in the morning, missed lunch, went to bed at 10 in the evening, and today got up at 7, went for a walk instead of a nap, and at 8 in the evening fell asleep for the night - it’s not surprising that your baby does not want to sleep at lunchtime, and also does not sleep well at night.

In this case, it is necessary to draw up a daily routine for the child and be sure to adhere to it!

6. KNOWN SLEEP MODE.

Why doesn't the child sleep during the day? Remember, maybe today he took a nap on the bus or closed his eyes in the car for a couple of minutes. Perhaps yesterday he fell asleep late because of the guests or got up very early in the morning to go to the clinic.

What to do in this case?

Try to distract your child in every possible way during travel and do not let him doze out of bed. Observe the time and place of his night sleep and daytime rest, no matter what the circumstances in your life. Observe bedtime rituals. Lonely repetitive actions before bedtime: reading a book, singing a lullaby, massage, kissing, and similar things habitually relax the child and tune his body to sleep. Try to ensure that your child always sleeps in the same room and in the same bed.

7. THE KID EXPERIENCES PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISCOMFORT.

Bad weather, wind, heat, cold or stuffy room, too tight or warm clothes, uncomfortable bedding - all this can negatively affect the child's sleep. The reason for the child's unwillingness to fall asleep can be the rearrangement of furniture in the room, renovation or moving to a new apartment. Computer games and prolonged TV viewing also affect the baby's sleep. Perhaps he has seen enough horror films, he is unfamiliar with the new environment, or he is simply afraid to be alone in bed.

What to do?

Make the moment of falling asleep comfortable for the child, and when the environment changes, stay with him. Talk to your child about things that may scare him, and for peace of mind, give him something familiar, such as a favorite toy.

8. HIS FEELING POOR OR IS SICK.

The tummy, the ear hurts, the teeth are being cut - but you never know what can bother the child. Such problems with sleep begin suddenly: the baby falls asleep, but wakes up abruptly, screams and cries.

Find and eliminate the cause of the child's discomfort.

9. SERIOUS CHANGES HAPPENED IN THE CHILD'S LIFE.

Why doesn't the child sleep during the day? Perhaps this is a reaction to significant changes and events: you moved or divorced your husband, your second child was born or the baby went to kindergarten - something extraordinary happened in your life, to which the child is not yet accustomed and because of what it can worry a lot.

If something has changed a lot in your life, be patient with your child, show him more care, affection and love. Show your baby that no matter what, nothing has changed in your relationship with him and that you still love him.

The result of a child's sleep should always be his excellent mood, active behavior and good health. If your baby, despite the lack of daytime sleep, is vigorous, active and cheerful, do not worry and think about why the child does not sleep during the day. However, if the baby does not sleep well at night, wakes up hard in the morning, is capricious during the day, falls asleep in the evening, and a little later cannot fall asleep in any way - try to find the reason for this behavior and teach him during the day, if not to sleep, then at least to rest.

Falling asleep: how to help your child

In the case of a child, you need to ask the same questions. And eliminate the cause.

Too short wakefulness time preceding night's sleep. For example, a child got up late after a nap. Then it is logical to shift the time of night sleep a little. Of course, you need to adhere to a certain, but do not follow it fanatically. You should not keep in bed a child who, for reasons known to you, does not want to sleep at all. There is no crime in the fact that the child falls asleep an hour later. It is more important that he falls asleep with pleasure.
Difficulty switching from vigorous activity to sleep. If a child who is jumping around the room on a ball is removed from this ball and placed in the bed, then the child will jump there too. It's like pulling an adult out of an important negotiation and saying, "Sleep!" No, he won't fall asleep. He will scroll through the opponents' arguments in his head and calculate the consequences of the disrupted negotiations.

The fact that it is time to sleep is understandable for an adult, but not for a child. For a child, the phrase "Time to sleep!" - a complete surprise. And the surprise is stress: I didn't have time, I didn't finish. Give your child a chance to finish the game. Notify in advance that you will sleep soon. Teach your child to finish the game by playing the plot with him: "Cars left for the garage", "Dolls went to bed." Switch your child from active games to quiet ones in advance, since the transition from quiet games to sleep is easier. Consider a falling asleep ritual - a familiar sequence of actions that will tune you to sleep.

The presence of an external stimulus that interferes with falling asleep (light, sound). Try to remove the irritant or reduce its impact.
The irritant inside is an obsessive thought, fear, doubt. Talk to your child about this. Just ask a question and then listen carefully. The kid himself will tell you what worries him.
Physical discomfort(new pillow of unusual height, spiky pajamas, hot, stuffy). The easiest way out is to create comfortable conditions.

True, a tired child is able to fall asleep, sitting on the doorstep in outerwear or on a rug near the sofa, curled up on top of Lego pieces, or even with a spoon in hand over a bowl of soup ... If the child does not want to sleep, maybe he lacks physical activity ?

Stressful situation, new conditions(you have to fall asleep in a new place, there are people new to the child in the house, the usual ritual of falling asleep has not been performed). This happens when traveling. Give your child time to adapt, get used to the unusual situation for him. Let him settle in a new place, communicate with previously unfamiliar people, explore everything that is of interest to him, make sure of safety. And then try to observe the ritual of falling asleep - if not all, then at least some of the elements.
Tension, overexcitation. Wash your baby. Get a relaxing massage. At the same time, you can say something quietly. Calm, measured, monotonous speech has a calming effect. Read a book of fairy tales. In any folklore there are "soporific" works.
The child has formed a negative attitude towards sleep, and he "turns on" the resistance. A child can think of a thousand and one reasons to slip out of bed. He may actively sabotage a request to go to bed or manipulate you. Jokers say about this behavior: "At the word 'sleep' the child is attacked by thirst, hunger and constipation ..."

In this case, make sure that the bed evokes only positive emotions in the child. Together with him, figure out how to decorate it, choose bed linen together, preferably with a pattern that evokes a dream (I have baby underwear with sleeping teddy bears in pajamas, with owls against the starry sky - the colors are dark, restrained). Let there be a “sleepy” toy in the bed, which is already bored and invites the baby to join.

With sufficient daytime activity, with quiet games before bedtime, with the observance of the ritual of transition to sleep and a positive attitude to the place of sleep, the child easily falls asleep. Don't make him sleep. Create conditions for falling asleep.

How to put your baby to bed: 3 steps

“My son is three years old, and sometimes we go to bed in the evening for an hour and a half. I tried not to lay him down, and in the end he could sit until two in the morning. I tried not to lay down during the day, but then he turned off at four o'clock, then woke up at seven, and 'long live the merry night' ... I don’t dream of falling asleep on my own, I would fall asleep in my presence ... ”

It happens that increased nervous excitability prevents falling asleep. When I worked as a kindergarten teacher, I met such children. That is, in each group there were those who calmly lay down and fell asleep, and those who required a special approach. Some children cannot even lie still: they fiddle with a blanket, scratch, pick their noses, twist their hair around their fingers, and twitch their eyebrows.

I sat on the high chair next to the crib. With one hand, she gently fixed the baby's legs, putting her hand on the thigh, and put the other hand on the shoulder. Then I did very light swaying movements. This is an element of body-oriented therapy that allows you to quickly reduce the tone of tense muscles, which has a relaxing effect on the nervous system.

Apart from this, I use breathing adjustment technique... In an agitated child, breathing is rapid and shallow. For a sleeping person, it is even, deep. This means that in order for the child to fall asleep, you need to transfer his breathing to a different mode.

Keeping my hands on the child's body, I join his breathing, for a while I breathe like him - our inhalations and exhalations coincide. After a while, I begin to breathe more deeply and slowly, as a person breathes in a state of relaxation. The baby's breathing also became deeper.

This technique can be applied simultaneously to two children (I have two hands). That is, I put the highchair between the beds, put my right hand on the shoulder of one child, and my left hand on the shoulder of the second. Then I begin to gently sway back and forth, in time with my breathing. Oscillatory movements are transmitted to children. Muscle relaxation soon sets in, breathing slows down, and babies fall asleep. This takes three to five minutes. Maximum ten.

Another trick, after which I instantly fell asleep half of the group - reading a fairy tale... But you need to read not artistically, with expression, but melodic, even monotonous, gradually slowing down the tempo of speech. Sentences should be pronounced in a drawn-out manner, as you exhale, and then pause for a smooth inhalation, this leads to the fact that the listeners' breathing slows down.

I also shamelessly violated the original text, inserting phrases about relaxation, rest, sleep into it: “And then the bear thought (inhale, after which the next phrase is pronounced smoothly on exhalation), I'll sit down on a stump (inhale), eat a pie ( inhale), lie on the grass (inhale), take a nap (inhale). And Masha to him from the box (inhale): "Get some sleep (inhale), but don't eat the pie ..."

Marshak has a wonderful "sleepy" poem: "The Tale of the Stupid Mouse." And the rhythm is appropriate, and the often repeated phrase about sleep. The main thing is not to start reading with an expression, imitating the neighing of horses and the grunt of pigs; you need to read this poem in a "trance" voice, with pauses, swaying, and if you know it by heart, then with your eyes closed. (Here you would not fall asleep before the child.)

The techniques described are very effective, but note that before using them, you need to be calm and relaxed yourself. The most difficult thing for mothers, after the children have fallen asleep, is to scrape themselves off the highchair, get out of a sleepy trance and cheerfully go to do their adult affairs, envying the sleeping children ...

And one more important point. Going to sleep cannot be approached mechanically. Even those children who, in principle, fall asleep well, sometimes need help. Observant parents are able to catch the child's mood and understand whether he can fall asleep himself or if he needs help to relieve daytime stress: sit next to him, iron the back, pluck his hair, wiggle.