From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us to be either intractable or insoluble at all. In such cases, desperate to find a way out of this situation, we especially urgently need an objective and sober look from the outside. But where to find it, is this an interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, Ariadne's thread, and tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?
We very often entrust this important decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a solution are also obvious: it is unlikely that the solution of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the full depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But then what to do in such cases ?!
There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if you find it hard to believe, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in their usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are lying somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?
In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we need to go a paradoxical way: to make it look as if the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks on physics and algebra all the answers to the problems posed are given. You only need to find the relevant pages that contain all these solutions and select the actual answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we need the so-called technique of a wise man: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most difficult everyday problems to a minimum.
The technique of a wise person is performed only once, and after that you get answers to any of the most difficult questions of life arrangement. However, for this to really happen, the technique must be performed very thoroughly and seriously. It lies in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will look like a genie, which you can call from the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.
How is a wise person created? A person's imagination is so strong that he is able to come up with almost everything that one can imagine. If you want to imagine for a minute what a pink Christmas tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the pictures and images you want. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite tunes, hum their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you want, you can see the picture and hear how it might sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we imagine pictures, hear voices, and even see full-color films with our own participation.
In order to create a wise person, you need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measured, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange jeans and his hair is dyed viscous blue, then I will not be at all surprised. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be beardless or beardless, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, on the contrary, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of wisdom and enlightenment.
It may take you several hours to create a wise person. Do not spare it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated for months and years, if it comes to the time that we spend in search of this or that solution. It is best if no one bothers you during these hours, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise man. If you find such an opportunity, you can proceed directly to the implementation of the technique.
Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Prepare all of this, and then try to relax. You don't have to do anything, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember something from your past experience, and it will be easy, since you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of this difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was safely resolved? Also talk to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a check mark or cross, as people do, winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs in their palm to remember - and follow on, to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (as many as possible) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once you're done, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with this and that, and after that everything fell into place."
Step two. There are different types of wise people, and they can be very different for each person. Some are convinced by the beard, some by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can emphasize certain clothes, age, or the presence of some details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Perhaps he even reminds you of someone? What would his voice sound like? Imagine boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a piece of paper, recording its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can draw at least a little. You should also determine the meeting place for your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you cannot imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you knew how to do it. Thank God it's easy to think about how people or things might look. It's easy to think about what your wise person would look like.
At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think of him so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not feel sorry for words, describe it in as much detail as possible.
Step three. After you can represent your wise man whenever you need it (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), come back to your list of those things and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add another such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar solutions in our lives. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt right after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.
Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: sit back or lie down. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present tense. Concentrate on her for a moment, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears in front of you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?
As soon as you ask your wise person a question, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: a memory, an image, a picture, a voice, a phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise man wanted to say by telling you this information.
In the future, when you meet again with a wise person, you can agree with him about ways to exchange information. You can find out his name, and for this you just need to ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, when asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet you do not hear a voice, but then you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Remember to thank him for meeting you and trying to help you.
There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can contact him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can receive very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thanks to your wise man, with whom you will meet in the very near future. Thank him for listening carefully to all this.
Good day, our dear readers! Irina and Igor are in touch again. Life is diverse and for each of us, it prepares something “of its own”. You will never guess even what awaits us in tomorrow, not to mention the future future. Often life prepares for us real "tests": tests of our strengths, capabilities, faith, feelings, or something else.
Such difficult situations either make us stronger or finally "break" us. Today we want to discuss the question of how to find a way out of a difficult life situation.
Emotions
Difficult situations happen in the life of each of us, sometimes even too often. But this is not a reason to fall into despair or disintegrate into thousands of actions at the same time. First you need to deal with your emotions.
You should not blame yourself for what happened or accumulate a grudge against someone else, since this will not bring you closer to a way out of the current circumstance. But accumulating negative emotions in yourself is not worth it! Try to take them out in the most safe way for yourself or those around you.
For example, go to the gym and show a punching bag “who's the boss,” or try to express your feelings in a picture, on paper, on the sand, or some other creative approach.
The method of “shouting” is also very effective. Just try not to use it on loved ones or friends. It is better if you find the object of your angry scream among the stones in nature. You can even paint a face on the stone to make it easier to talk.
Hardening
Everyone knows the phrase:
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
Here is exactly the case! Difficult situations appear from time to time in the life of every person, and this does not mean that they should be afraid or avoided. It just means that life "considers" you a strong rival and wants to "test" the depth of your strength!
They say there is a simple truth:
Difficult days don't come to those who can't handle them!
Remember this in difficult times. Remember that you should not give up even when it seems that "everything is gone." Take the next hardships of life as a hardening element!
Respite
Sometimes, in order not to break the woods, a little respite is required. You should abstract yourself from the problem, try not to think about it for a while. Such a measure is needed in order to see the best solution in the current situation.
Go for a walk with your children or nature, take some time to meditate, or simply, pay attention to a hobby that will distract you.
Such actions will help to "get away" from the problem for a while. And returning to it again will provide you with a "new angle" of view, which you can use to get out of this situation for your own benefit.
Flexible plan
Does any "deviation" from the plan drive you into panic? Do you regard this as a costly emergency situation?
In this case, you just need to improve your skills, structuring tasks and setting priorities. Pay attention to learning time management techniques that will allow you to become more "flexible" in terms of making plans and controlling the time for their implementation.
You can get acquainted with these techniques using video courses:
- "Master of time - highly productive time management according to the system of Evgeny Popov"
- "Time management, or how to improve your efficiency"
Flow
Some difficult situations may not lend themselves to analysis, or you cannot find a way out of such circumstances for a long time. In such cases, it is useful to let things take their course.
Perhaps this approach will allow you to relax and discover an unexpected solution for yourself. Or the very "flow" of time to correct the current situation in your favor.
It is not necessary to waste this time aimlessly, think about the possible consequences or about possible new difficulties. It is useful at this time to assess your strengths, capabilities and energy reserves to resist everything.
It will also be useful to know what can happen and what to do in this case. For example, study the book by Leslie Garner, Brian Luke Seaward “Crises are life lessons. Life in harmony (set of 2 books) " .
Take a lesson
All situations in life teach us something.
Difficult situations teach us even more than the entire school curriculum.
It is important to be able to highlight for yourself the very important lesson that life has taught you. It will become invaluable in terms of building and achieving in your life.
But this does not mean that the main idea of the difficulties will be: “I'm not ready! I can never do that! " No! It's just, “I'm not ready! I need more knowledge to do this! "
Never forget about training and strive to learn more, for example, you can take a free online video course “Setting and achieving goals. How to achieve results in any business? " .
How do you cope with difficult life situations? Prefer to find a way out or try to "go with the flow"? Share your knowledge.
Perhaps our article will be useful for someone from your loved ones, do not forget to give them a link to read. And for you we are already preparing new interesting topics so as not to miss - just subscribe to updates! See you soon!
Best regards, Irina and Igor
It is immediately worth finding out from what desperate situations in life you can look for a way out? It is not worth thinking about those in which the "care" for the further existence is taken into their own hands.
It is at the stage of "adapting" that you have to mobilize yourself, as is done when the solution to the problem depends on yourself.
What to do in a hopeless situation?
A hopeless situation is a complex of problems that seem to grow like a snowball rolling down a mountain. It rarely happens that there is only one problem. It is worth swinging, and the number of troubles increases. A common practice - in such a situation, a person first of all begins to look for the culprit of what happened, loses time, feels sorry for himself.
This is not constructive - in adults, problems rarely resolve on their own, and it is impossible to forget about existing troubles.
For children, the decision can be made by the parents, but here you have to figure it out yourself. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation and what to do if everything in life is “bad”?
Where to contact in case of serious problems
In case of a desperate situation, you need to turn to yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to analyze what is happening.
Then you should throw away foolish pride and call for help all who can help in something. These can be close acquaintances, distant, former friends. If the situation is really serious, then you should try to find common points of contact with negative people. Previously, in such cases, the expression was used - "to sound the alarm." It is very likely that during communication it will be possible to find a way out of the impasse.
At the same time, it is necessary to draw up an action plan, which includes a real assessment of events and the possibility of action.
- You need to take a position - difficulties are necessary in order to prove your worth. This means that one should not cry, but thank fate for the test;
- Then they write down their thoughts - what they think about what happened, what needs to be done first of all, what feelings are hidden in the depths of the soul. Sad emotions should be discarded;
- Then they figure out where to go in a desperate situation, collect information, calculate options for solving problems: where to go, what papers are needed, what prevents them from doing this now ..;
- The more options the better. Let some of them be the most fantastic, but they can also conceal crumbs of truth. You need to throw at least options. You can even dream about how "everything will go like clockwork." The soul will become easier;
- They describe the mode of appeals and walking through the authorities - sometimes it is required to draw up a minute-by-minute schedule in order to be in time everywhere;
- You need to try to recruit assistants who will provide at least minimal assistance. In order to enter a piece of paper, it does not take much time, and why not ask a friend about it who works next to the desired office or organization.
Having drawn up a detailed plan of action, you need to fully mobilize yourself to achieve success and not deviate from what you have planned. But you should always consider alternative situations - if the plan fails, the actions are corrected.
Psychological problems
Thinking about whether there is a way out of a hopeless situation, one must not forget about the psychological problems that appeared after realizing the gravity of the situation. You should take yourself away from depression, which often appears when you realize your own powerlessness or in stressful situations.
You can't close yourself. We must try to reach out to people. These can be old friends and barely familiar people - let life around them boil.
Next, you should act on your own character. Someone needs to speak out, another to try to remove the worries away. You can advise to turn to God, go to church - communication with religion helps to relieve the soul.
But one should not go to extremes on the path of knowledge - there are sects that find themselves "victims" among desperate people, so you cannot blindly trust new acquaintances. If for a while you had to leave an active life, you should take it as a gift of fate. While there is an opportunity, you need to go in for sports, self-education, expand your intellect, go to a hairdresser and change your image. This will help you become more creative and succeed in the future.
Everyone has their own methods of overcoming obstacles:
- go to nature;
- arrange shopping;
- constantly visit noisy companies;
- internet communication.
If you have a dream, now is the time to realize it.
Jumping with a parachute or from a tower, throwing junk out of the house, making peace with the enemy or getting a dog - "feat" will make you mobilize to fight difficulties. You need to make your own existence as easy as possible in order to “emerge” full of strength in the future.
Out of crisis situations 3 - you need to choose the best one for yourself.
- Look for solutions to the current problem, having previously understood why it arose;
- Accept the situation and just go with the flow without making any effort to overcome. Designate the crisis as a passed stage, and in the future do not focus on the past, trying to forget it faster. Yes, you will have to put up with a lot, but sometimes this is the only way out in order to avoid serious losses and not change the circumstances to which you are accustomed.
It is worth dwelling on this method in more detail. Family situation. If you do not want to change the established way of life, then you should not fight for a “partner”. Most likely, he is waiting for the first step. There will be no step, everything will end by itself.
Work problems. It is very difficult to tell a person about dismissal just like that. If he himself does not begin to recognize and "twitch", then the indecisive boss retreats for a while, and in the future the conversation may not take place at all.
Overcome the situation with pressure, without "detours". The "offender" can fold.
Sometimes all methods have to be combined, and only then the circumstances will recede.
You should not dwell on possible problems - they need to be dealt with as they become available.
But at the same time it is not worth postponing things for "later" - sometimes a crisis comes only because they brushed aside small tasks, not attaching importance to them. When they accumulated, a desperate situation arose. If all small problems are compared to bricks, then a stalemate equates to a wall that is very difficult to break through with your forehead.
But sometimes it is enough to pull one brick out of the base, and the wall will crumble into a heap of debris. The main thing is to correctly determine with what first brick the foundation was laid.
What to do in a difficult life situation?
We distribute to the right and to the left advice that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are plagued by troubles that are approaching from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks just ridiculous and helpless.
What to do in a difficult life situation where you see one dead end? There are effective tips on how to proceed in this case.
1. First try to calm down and stop. You do not need to quickly rush into the pool headlong and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to even greater problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about it to figure out why it turned out this way, and not completely differently. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.
2. An effective advice on how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, frustration make it difficult to concentrate properly in front of the problem. Often, our negative emotions, which take on a huge scale, we make an elephant out of a fly, and absolutely, we do not see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in you.
3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come to your head and everything will clear up from a different angle. Make yourself a lemon and ginger tea, or brew hot coffee, energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all the ideas for getting out of the impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.
4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a saying, "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.
5. The next step is to fully analyze the proposed ideas. To cock all the pros and cons. Make three careful plans for getting out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the backup. With well-thought out scenarios, multiple choices yield far more success percentages than one.
6. In a difficult life situation, gather strength and spirit and begin to implement your anti-crisis plan. Walking step by step, without stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and the understanding of what to do will come by itself.
7. In difficult times, people who care about you and who are very dear to you will help to survive the misfortunes. Do not push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations and you understand who the most loyal and loyal people are.
8. In our life, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and don't let circumstances take over.
9. Another effective way to get out of the impasse is to exclude people with negative thoughts. In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate the colors and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have one negative all around. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.
10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you as long as you get out of the situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.
11. In difficult moments you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, every person has them. It will be foolish that you sit back. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.
12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how to live and be better for you. They will constantly remind and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide whether you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!
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What to do if there is no way out
If there is no way out, what to do?
How then to be and what to do if you do not see a way out?
I do not see, and I can not find a way out of a difficult situation, what can be done to find a way out? And does it happen when there is simply no way out? You could give any advice, or give your opinion on what to do if there is no way out.
what to do if there is no way out
The Secret Oracle's Answer
Of course, it would be much better if you described your problem specifically, then it would be possible to advise something directly on the difficult situation you have. Well, so, if you figuratively answer your question “about the way out” and about what happens when there is no way out at all, you can answer unequivocally that there is always a way out. Moreover, I assure you, the way out, as a rule, is always not one, but several, in different variations. All of them differ only in that some of the exit options are difficult, more difficult, but correct, while others are easier, simple and correct, and among them there is one single most correct. But all these options break the deadlock, get out of a difficult situation, or solve the problem. But, such that there is no way out at all, it simply does not happen. Often it is different, not all people, and not always can see or find a way out. This happens because a person at a certain moment becomes discouraged, disappointed, begins to doubt himself, in his abilities, being in a difficult situation, unable to see the way out at first. Thus, blocking himself psychologically, which does not give him the opportunity to continue searching for a solution to his problem. You need to relax and be able to look at your problem as if from the outside, look as if this problem is not yours at all, but someone else's, and imagine mentally, in your imagination, so that you yourself would advise who, if found in your place, in that very situation. You need to calm down, stop worrying and hesitate, but bring your consciousness in order. Which means that consciousness should be free and clear, not constrained by anything, then look at your problem as if a bird is looking at the Earth from a height, and intuitively feel your way out, and only after that start thinking and analyzing your intuitive feeling with your consciousness. And you will see the right way out to solve your problem. To overcome doubts in yourself, this is the most important thing, it should not be in you at all. Believe in yourself and your strength to the last, even if there is no more time left. If you manage to enter yourself into such a state, you will see not just a way out, but the only correct way out.
How to find a way out of a hopeless situation
How often, when we find ourselves in a difficult situation requiring a strong-willed decision or a creative approach to eliminating problems, we begin to think that this is it - a Desperate Situation. Believing once that there is no way out of your situation, you allow pessimism and self-pity to take over, and you find yourself in a vicious circle of your own fears and emotions. I propose an alternative approach - to believe that there is always a way out, and not one, you just need to make an effort to see it. The bulk of this effort will be aimed at maintaining a positive attitude and maintaining faith in a successful resolution of the situation.
So, there are no hopeless situations - this is a fact. And then what happens - what do we take for "hopeless conditions"?
- The need to make a decision. It is difficult, scary, and requires taking responsibility for the choices you make and their consequences. If the choice is wrong, there will be no one to blame but ourselves, so our consciousness closes up and pretends that there is no way out, and we, in turn, play along with it. Convincing yourself that nothing depends on you is the approach of a weak person. Take courage and remind yourself that control is always in your hands - yes, you can make a mistake, but this is your decision, independent and balanced, which means that you are an adult and responsible person.
- Allow yourself to be wrong - mistakes are your personal, invaluable experience that you can always use for the benefit of your development.
- Use our tips on how to overcome fear - take control of your life in your own hands, don't be a victim.
- Change your attitude to change to a constructive one, and your life will pick up a new pace of development, just like yourself.
- Read the success stories of great people - these daredevils have changed not only themselves and their lives, but also the world in which we live, is this not an incentive to joyfully plunge into the coming changes?
- Work with self-esteem - without this work, any attempts to get off the ground will be short-lived and will entail a return to previous circumstances.
- To understand and accept that you deserve more and better - for this you need to love yourself.
- Learn to fight laziness - no one will do it for you.
- Work to increase motivation - just work, not try or try.
- Stop whining!
- Find out why you shouldn't complain and how to channel the energy from complaining to real action.
- Breaking stereotypes, even though it's new and scary, is what you need.
- Use the template-breaking technique to release energy and channel it towards creation.
Of course, first of all, I write these tips to remind myself that there are no hopeless situations, but I also want to convey this to you. They really do not exist, there are difficult decisions that are points of our growth, if we choose the path of development, not stagnation.
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Great article. Thanks! I myself went through everything that you write. Therefore, I will say - it works! You just need to apply.
Thanks for the article .. I'll go and work on it .. Everything is written correctly …………
Hello, I cannot find a way out, who can help
Whoever wrote this article has never been in difficult situations, and does not know anything about it. When they come one by one, a person gets tired of constantly looking for a way out. He simply does not live, but turns as if in a frying pan. I never believe people who do not want to live simply because of depression, they are spoiled dismissals. But believe me, there are such situations when there is no way out, or rather, the way out is not the best for a person and there is only one way out. A person who is tired of life and in a hopeless situation is a very dangerous person, and then the only way out is to leave. I have been spinning like this for many years, now I have neither the strength nor the desire, and people can only help with a word, only it will not help me.
What to do when there is no way out?
And then it's my fault that toys are scattered everywhere at home and the dishes are not washed. I cannot break, I need to cook food, (and not only for us adults, but also separately for the baby) to play and work with the older child (by the way, with the little one in his arms, he can crawl for 5 minutes on his own and starts crying), go out for a walk with them , wash, etc. As a result, at the end of the day, I have no time for scattered toys and dirty dishes, night has come - and there is no rest - I am like a soldier at the post at the kravatka.
I was tired and probably not even physically anymore, but mentally. He constantly tells me: "I work, but what are you doing?" It hurts me. After all, I also work, only at home, with children. I forgot the last time I would have just sat down and calmly read a book. And he thinks that I am not doing anything, I sit at home on his neck. I'm tired of begging him for money, dastr, but is it money when there are children? You need to buy something every day. If he needed steel shoes, he went and bought, for example, a week ago the sole of the boots came off (and not just, but right on the floor of the sole), I told him. he replied that he would come home from work and seal it. glues for the 5th day. and so in everything. "Make a chair for the child" - more than one month has passed, but the chair has not been made and the child suffers and draws not at the table, but wherever he has to. I ask for money for a chair for feeding the youngest - zero result, I’ll drum on him how and where the child is sitting.
But he is ideal and only he is always right - this is his position.
I am tired and if there were no children I would have left him long ago. but we are renting an apartment, I do not work and I have nowhere to go with two children. I do not know what to do.
To all that has been said, HE LOVES TO DRINK and not just drink, but crawl home barely moving his tongue after every day, and then 2 days of a hangover, a sober day and again on a "holiday" day, where he, the poor, works so hard that he needs to rest, but not to help with the children (after all, I don't do anything at home). (I do not drink, I do not accept it at all, I lead a healthy lifestyle and therefore my drunken husband finishes me off at the end.)
I see no way out and just cry at night from my hopelessness and helplessness, how many times I threatened to leave. but he knows that I have nowhere to go, and if I leave, he scares me by suing the children.
But again, another BUT arises - I do not want the children to grow up without a father - the eldest is crazy about him and I cannot separate them. I want a strong, friendly, healthy family, but somehow it doesn't work out.
I'm confused, I'm tired, I want respect and understanding, I want care and at least a little to be loved. and I don't know what to do. Leave? Where to? Where to find a job to get at least 25,000, to rent an apartment and dress, feed the children. What should I do? Where to find a way out.
Here are 10 current tips for your attention on what to do when things are bad. Forward and with the song!
There are moments in life that even incorrigible optimists and die-hard pieces of iron cannot endure.
It seems that everything in the world is up in arms against you: family, bosses, strangers in minibuses and shops, even nature has been pouring nasty cold rain all day.
It seems that it could not be more disgusting and you simply cannot find an answer to the question of what to do when everything is bad.
First you need to calm down, figure out if everything is really so terrible as it seems to you at first glance, and only then look for ways out of the protracted crisis.
Is it really that bad?
Once I attended a collective training session on "Depression and how to deal with it."
One of the participants was not afraid to honestly talk about her current problems.
From her words it followed that now not just a dark streak reigns in her life, but - there is nowhere more black and from the bridge from which she dreams of throwing herself, she is separated by only a few steps.
The coach was not afraid of the patient's suicidal mood and asked if she was ready to deal with her problems step by step in front of everyone.
The girl Galya agreed, because on her own she could not figure out what to do when everything was bad.
Here is a list of Gali's problems that I remember:
The husband went to another.
During the conversation, it turned out that this was far from the first spree of the dog, he began to cheat even when they met, but she loved him, therefore she was ready to endure everything, just not to leave her.
She quarreled with her mother and best friend, because they told her:
“He left and - Thank God. There was no need to marry this reveler at all, how much blood he drank from you.
It is necessary to rejoice, and not to shed tears ”.
The boss is constantly sawing.
It turned out that after the unfaithful spouse left, the girl took a week at her own expense to cope with the stress, then asked for more, but the director refused, offering to take a vacation if it really was necessary.
Galya refused, because she hopes that her dog will come back, and they will be able to go to rest in order to glue their relationship erased into dust.
Well, of course, the boss is a rare bitch.
There are no comments at all.
Indeed, like a refrigerator that can break for 10 years already.
This is only the intrigues of enemies - not otherwise.
Walking home from work, Galya caught on to something and tore her favorite coat.
After all, sewing workshops have all immigrated to Mars and there is no one else to fix clothes.
“Any depression should be greeted with a smile. Depression will think you are an idiot and run away. "
The coach we came across was just excellent, who, point by point sorting out Galina's problems, convinced her that some of them were household stuff (a coat and a refrigerator), some of them could be corrected if you wanted to (to make peace with mom and friend), some were provoked by the girl herself , for example, a conflict with the boss, who already showed miracles of tact.
And to cry for such a husband is not to respect yourself, because not a single normal lady would ever marry him.
What to do when things are bad: 10 ways to break the deadlock
To begin with, it is worth remembering that after the black stripe, white must necessarily follow, the night must end with dawn, and good triumphs over evil.
And if you show enough patience, perseverance and wisdom, then you will not notice how everything will turn out.
What to do when everything is bad:
Put your problems on the shelves.
You must understand which of them can be corrected by your own efforts, which can be overcome only with someone's help, and which do not have a solution at all, they just need to be eliminated (for example, quit your job, where the boss adds gray hair to you every day) or just wait them out (bad weather, for example).
Learn to see the good in everything.
You were doused by a car when you tried to cross the road in the wrong place?
Never mind, the dress will dry out, and you will know for sure that you should adhere to the rules of the road.
Even if serious problems have covered you from head to toe, rejoice at the playfulness of your cat, the smile of the baby in the minibus, a great sunny day, how this dress suits you, etc.
Do not rush into the pool with your head.
Most people believe that liters of alcohol, hundreds of cigarettes and crazy parties all night help to cope with problems.
Hangover and lack of money will be added to the already existing difficulties.
First, vigorous physical activity is an excellent way to deal with stress.
And secondly, just imagine: while you worked hard on yourself, all the problems disappeared, and here you are so beautiful, with an amazing figure.
Yes, the whole world will fall at your feet.
Various volunteer organizations - an opportunity to see that homeless animals, orphans, disabled people, lonely old people live much more difficult than you.
And the good done will certainly return to you.
Get rid of negative emotions.
Cry, break a couple of plates, sing, write a list of your problems on a piece of paper, and then burn it - choose what you like best.
But in no case should you cherish and cherish all the filth in your soul.
Get help.
I'm talking now not only about influential people who are able to solve this or that problem of yours, but also about priests, psychologists, and various spiritual mentors.
Those who can heal your wounded soul.
Even if today everything is bad for you, then you need to think that tomorrow everything will definitely work out, and not: "I will die an ugly, sick, useless old maid."
Dream good things and the Universe will definitely respond to your call.
Problems rarely get solved on their own.
Before you give up, you must be sure that you have done everything in your power to resolve the conflict.
From the fact that you sit down and whine all day about how unhappy you are and why life is so unfair, your situation will not change for the better.
There are tragedies that we cannot influence.
I am talking, first of all, about the death of loved ones.
Yes, it hurts you very much, yes, you think that this is unfair, but there are tests that we must withstand with honor, so that when we meet our loved ones and relatives in another world, we would not be ashamed.
Did you get it all right? And now "hand over" your depression to the pawnshop Stanislav Bodyagin! 🙂
How much is he willing to pay for it?
“What to do when everything is bad?” - you ask.
I will answer: "Do not lose heart, do not give up and hope for the best!"
There is no war, no work, two children, nowhere to live, since the mother found a man, and she kicks us out of our own house so that we can live there together with our betrothed (my family and children interfere with them), there is no money for the litigation to change the house, since I’m sick, I need money for treatment, my husband is almost never at home, constantly on some part-time jobs. I sit in hell with two children and every day I endure bullying from my mother and her man, a pervert drunk who is already with us More than once I walked naked. The refrigerator burned out, the TV burned down, the mother's husband stole the money set aside for winter boots for the child, we are sitting at home now, there is nothing to put on the child. Every month it gets worse and worse, but what is there, every week. If 2 years ago we were still able to pay for the cheapest rented accommodation, but now we can hardly find money for food. I don’t know what to do. Children grow up, the eldest to go to school, put two shoes on, feed them, I’m just silent for myself and my husband. And a few more years ago everything was fine, before the mother's man appeared, such a feeling That is, that he is causing damage and laughter and sin, but there are no other explanations. I will not go into details, but with his appearance all the relatives turned away from us, we lost our homes, endless travels began to rented huts to which most of the salary went, Well, it went on and on.
Just send all your problems to where everyone knows, do not sleep until late, smoke a couple of cigarettes, or even better weed, but do not use alky, watch melodrama and sleep, wake up cheerful and all aye, we live only once and still not alive get out, love yourself ...))
Sorry if I say rude, but I do not understand - WHY TO PRODUCE CHILDREN IF YOU HAVE HARD IN THE FIRST TIME WITH ONE. You choose freaks and multiply and multiply without money, in rented apartments, without a job or financial assistance, and then talk about the black stripe ……… ..People sometimes think, but do not live by instincts alone …… ..
I wrote but did not feel better, I can’t beat the dishes and shout too, I can scare children to death, and so they’re scared because of my crazy husband, not only does the drunkard swallow wheels, we scandal almost every day, we have different characters in general , I have three children, the youngest is disabled, we live in a rented apartment, there is practically not enough money because this yap spends everything, I myself do not work because there is no one to leave the small one for. I asked him to adjust his schedule so that she could earn at least some money, so this son of a bitch stubbornly, you see, the men will look at me at work, this bastard sees vulgarity everywhere. I don’t know where my eyes were looking when I married this devil. The main thing before marrying myself as an angel was building like I'm not like that. And after getting married a year later, he began to show himself. And then there is no place to go, and I have to endure this creature with my three children.
Nonsense! Tore a new coat - a fucking disaster. You don't know or understand anything about what it really means BAD. You are stupid idiots and your stupid advice.
Nothing will solve the problem if you are the biggest mistake in a person's life!
Such articles are good because they collect a lot of useful comments, thank you.
Complete nonsense! The author clearly saw no problems in his life. And if you are in full F ..., and the white stripe has not come for several years, but only gets blacker and blacker, then what to do? Probably you just need to talk about it with someone.
I agree with you. For example, I have lived poorly since childhood. The parents were drinking, everyone was drinking. We did not have our own home. Filmed constantly for several months. Then they drove us out into the street outside Bukhara and so on. As a result, I became an adult without receiving any kind of education. Because my mother died in 2001. And my father began to pester me and I went to work as a nurse. Later I met a guy. He was a complete alcoholic. But I thought that I was not worthy of good men. We signed with him and I began to give birth from this freak of children. The eldest son has been disabled since the age of two. A brain tumor. The rest of the children are healthy. The eldest is now 11, Maxim 8. Dima is 7 and the youngest is almost two years old. We lived in a hostel. The husband was drinking until 2015. Then I coded for this freak. Later he began to use salt. In general, the debts for utilities are almost 500 thousand, for alimony from the first marriage. He has a daughter, also half a million rubles for non-payment of alimony. And that in the end I took the children and left him. And now everyone is against me, no one believes me that he is a drug addict. I have nowhere to live to say. I am retiring., Housing.
I believe that the root of all problems with the overpressure of society and life situations is the inability of people to take time out, pause, let go of all their problems until tomorrow morning, and today enjoy the peace of their usual life on a pleasant or not very March evening. The grip of problems does not release. Even the state of intoxication ceased to bring me the feeling of relaxation and brief rest. He was saving himself by hunting, and sometimes she became not a joy. Applied oil painting and technical crafts and successes have so far had an effect.
I often remember my first hunt on a pond - I shot a duck, pulled on a wander, now, as a pioneer, I will dash with a hog and get it. In fact, he got stuck in the silt along the fork. I think it's strong, I'll get out now, about an hour of fluttering they filled the wandering with water and silt without having the desired effect, I got stuck even more. For about an hour and a half, I just lay in the mud gathering my strength, assessing the situation (alone, without a rope, there is no one to help) and thinking over the sequence of actions. After another hour and a half, I somehow crawled out and dragged out the wanderers.
The loss of loved ones is the most difficult test in our life. The pain will never go away. It's like one day you start to carry a brick with you everywhere and everywhere. While it is new, its edges are scratching, tearing clothes, you do not know where to fit it more comfortably. After a while, its edges smoothed out, the brick found a convenient pocket, became so familiar and invisible .. It did not become easier. If only just a little bit.
The moral of this awkwardness:
You need to be able to loosen the noose of problems and crises around your neck, and part of your life to bring them out of their everyday whirlwind (I have not been able to do this at all recently).
If active movements do not help, you need to stop and reconsider the actions, start simple, take time out.
The pain of losing loved ones will never go away. You will have to come to terms with this and live on.
Be able to refuse. Quite a few people find the strength to give up living together and raising their children independently (for me it is still too wild and unacceptable) and it is very good if this is in order to eventually return to this. It is sometimes useful to give up the imposed pursuit of success if the path to achieving goals has brought problems and grief.
And the last thing: as long as the sky is above your head, the earth is under your feet, your boots are on your feet, you can always start something anew. There is no “too late” and “I'm too old for that” period in nature.
And yoga helps me. Only thanks to regular exercises the roof does not go. Before that, drinking is also a way out, if you have money and health. But usually there is neither one nor the other and this turns into a pending problem. I drank, relieved stress. In the morning the same thing, only less money. And stress can also turn into physiology, that is, the body itself will begin to produce stress enzymes, and this is really difficult to cope with. We must fight to the end! (although this is a meaningless slogan). Better this way: there is a problem - solve it. If you can't solve it - don't make a problem out of it)))
My situation is not the most asshole, but still I can't say that everything is ok. I think that others may be worse and it helps)). But just do yoga - from stress, if you cope with stress - problems are easier to solve. You just need to find normal yoga, there are those who will only add problems. For the blog, ATP for you, but this is impossible to help. But at least pouring out your soul into a volumetric void is already normal. True, I think you have not really experienced any problems, so your comments are superfluous.
Everything will be fine.
Uranus agrees. Fully. But I want to tell Vasya that these are not problems at all, but a trifle of life. Your hand will heal, you will find a job. Do you know what I went through? First, a divorce at the 7th month of pregnancy, no money, no job ... plus the morale of abandonment and a nursing child, which was not needed by her husband. Okay, a divorce is a betrayal, I agree, courts in divorce, lack of money, but this is all eh…. Second marriage. The second child is one year old. The husband hanged himself. Insane betrayal. I'm on maternity leave. Two children. Again, like the first time, I can not work because of the small age of the child. And psychologically, what happened to me - I am silent. Not to describe in words, but in short - trying to get away from this filthy life. Rather, she fled from mental pain. And again, credit and lack of money and children need to be fed. And you say 4 months of unemployment and a hand…. And then the third marriage ... ..the third love. Truth. A child again. But here, too, is betrayal. The husband lived in two families. Me and she. A child here and there. He slept with me and with her. I could not survive this, but he could not make a choice, rushing about for a month there, then a month here. It hurts a lot, especially when the kids ask. I couldn't do that. She said go away, but I still love and suffer madly. That's how it happens, someone always has an even life, or someone divorced and cries all his life, or they remember betrayal for life, let alone the loss of a loved one, death ... And all this fell to my lot at once! And I'm only 36. Now compare Vasya your problems and mine. And then, although I am in a very bad psycho-emotional state and in general, but nevertheless I do not give up and do not complain about problems. But the author of the article is right about one thing, communication, communication and only communication - do not care with whom, it saves!
You have to go to church. Pray to the Mother of God, she is the intercessor of all mothers. Pray to St. Nikolai the Pleasant. He is merciful, helping children whom fathers cannot help. Believe the Lord God, His Most Pure Mother and the holy saints of God. It was worse for me than for you. My husband was seduced by his mother-in-law at the age of 16. He confessed to me incest when I was seven months old. I did not let him near me for seven years, during which they rented apartments, waited for their own cooperative (there were Soviet times). What I have experienced, I do not wish anyone. Then they got an apartment and got divorced, the apartment was exchanged. For twenty years my mother-in-law and her husband persecuted me with slander and persecution, they were afraid that I would reveal their terrible secret. She died in 2009. He is now married for the third time. Between the second and third marriages, he tried to return. There was simply no one to talk about such a marriage. I have experienced everything and I am still experiencing it alone. I am talking to you because you do not know me, but I do not know you.
After such a marriage and divorce, I, by my own decision, at the age of 36, decided to refrain from my personal life. I plunged into work with my head. Now I am 60 years old. Of these, I am completely alone for 24 years. I have faith in normal people, but after what I faced, I don't want any privacy. Home-work-church is my circle.
She raised her son alone without alimony. He has two higher educations. He is also unlucky. He not so long ago divorced, thank God, there were no children in the marriage. But, everything is simple there. Did not get along.
You see. No matter how hard it is for you with three children, there are situations that are much worse. And further. I have long stopped asking why all this happened to me. After all, there were other fans who offered hand and heart. Normal guys from normal families. So my son should have been born in my marriage with this husband. I thank God for my son every day.
And you will have three times more joy, because you have three children. This is such happiness! Happiness itself!
Good luck to you and your kids!
Helena. I am very lonely. A spiritually weak person. I have a husband, but we cannot say that we are spiritually close. He works all the time on business trips, lately, and besides, he loves to drink, and I do not accept this business at all, and so we have lived for almost 30 years. Often there were spree, sometimes I did not come home for a week. I shed many tears, but I forgave, loved, and besides, two sons grew up. She devoted herself entirely to children. Eight years ago, the company where I worked was closed, found a part-time job. Now my sons are building their personal relationships, and they do not need my care, and no one needs me. And I feel bad, I cry constantly from melancholy, I don't even have a girlfriend. Sheer hopelessness. I want to be needed.
Svetlana, do not despair at all!
Try to arrange a real "reboot" for your usual life!
You write that you want to be needed by someone. There are many volunteer and charity organizations that will be very glad to have your help. They take care of orphans, old people, homeless animals, etc. Contacts of such "abodes of goodness" in your city can be found on the Internet.
I personally know a case when, after several trips to boarding schools, a 48-year-old woman adopted 2 children. And she certainly has no time to think about what to do when everything is bad - then the kids need to cook porridge, then take a walk, then go to the pediatrician.
By the way, have you thought about getting a pet? It is difficult to "sour" in an apartment when someone's wet sock pokes in the face and insistently calls for a walk. As one friend of mine says: "The dog does not serve you, it is friends with you."
And don't be too hard on your kids. Believe me, as soon as they create their families and children appear in them, they will need you no less than at the age of 5. And who will advise how best to treat gaziki, tell the most interesting fairy tale and walk with the baby for half a day, if not your beloved grandmother? Will he tell you how to make your sons' favorite Napoleon cake? The responsible role of this wise queen of the family awaits you, so get ready! Sooner or later, everyone comes to the conclusion that “it turns out that my mother was right!”.
And don’t believe that it’s impossible to make friends as an adult. Do you know where my 56-year-old aunt got a close friend? On computer courses from the Employment Center! And the charming ladies of “Balzac's age” who came to visit her for tea turned out to be her acquaintances from joint gymnastics classes in the fitness center.
An acquaintance of mine met her bosom friend on a one-day pilgrimage trip from the church. A relative found her “soul mate” (she is 50 years old, got married for the second time) during a morning run around the stadium.
So, Svetlana, try to expand your circle of acquaintances: go in for sports, travel, go to the cinema and to exhibitions (even if at first you have to do it alone), do charity work and volunteering, invite relatives and neighbors to visit you, make your hobby what brings you joy.
And how can you remain indifferent to a woman whose eyes are burning and 135 different interesting things to do a day? So my husband will look at you with different eyes: not as a multifunctional kitchen-harvester-washing machine, but at his beloved wife.
Good luck and optimism!
Elena, thank you very much for sharing such a complex life story. I sincerely admire your resilience to all the blows of fate and worldly wisdom.
But ask yourself: do you really want a private life or are all of these your fears from the time when you were thinking about what to do when things are bad?
If you find that you are being a little disingenuous with yourself, consider:
1) take a closer look at men at work and in church if you frequent it.
My believing friend found her soul mate when she was 42 years old, in a church where she goes to services every Sunday. She married for the first time, to a widower;
2) register on dating sites specially created for believers, for example, http://www.nadezhdaps.org.ua, or at least view the profiles of men. What if the heart skips at one of them?
3) pull yourself back every time you want to persuade your son to do something, "get in" with questions and advice in his work and personal relationships (with his ex-wife or new passion).
It is very tempting, when she herself does not have a personal life, to “strangle” a child with her love. And it does not matter at all how old he is - 5 or 35. Be extremely careful in this regard!
4) think about which of your colleagues, neighbors, relatives you really enjoy communicating with and go ahead - call more often, invite to your place for a cup of tea and just go shopping or go to the market for fresh cherries.
A lady who does not know what a lack of communication is and always shares her experiences is blossoming before our eyes!
Peace of mind and harmony to you!
Frankly, it is not clear why you turned your back on your husband. He was seduced, he confessed to you himself, i.e. the man repented. Personally, I did not harm you.
You are a very strong woman!
It may not seem so right now, but these are the people who deserve to be cited as examples of resilience and resilience. And even the fact that at some point you succumbed to weakness and tried to leave this life does not diminish your strength.
I agree that a lot of problems fell to your lot, some of which you simply could not solve (for example, the suicide of your second husband) and which you simply had to come to terms with and find the strength to live on.
And you found strength when you got married for the third time. And it's not your fault that your husband was not faithful to you (do not try to blame yourself in this situation!).
You know, it is very difficult to advise you something specifically, because each of the situations needs to be carefully analyzed. I would recommend that you work with a psychotherapist or find yourself a confessor if you are a believer (there are indeed good psychologists among the priests).
What else can I advise you to do when you don't want to live:
1) Do not withdraw into yourself and communicate with other people.
Perhaps it makes sense to find some kind of circle of interests or an organization where your help is needed. It is quite possible that there you can find not only friends, but also new love. A student friend of my mother got married twice unsuccessfully (the first husband was a sadist, beat and humiliated her), the second, like you, also lived in two families. At the age of 44, for a reason unknown even to herself, she responded to the call of the environmental organization to guard rare snowdrops in the forest from poachers, who tear them up and sell them. In this camp I met another 46-year-old nature lover. For 8 years they have been insanely happy in marriage.
2) Focus on the kids.
Fate has given you 3 wonderful gifts. I have already said that you are a very strong person, and such people are usually rewarded for their resilience, if not directly, then through their children. You just cannot be lonely because three times mom. And isn't that wonderful?
3) Get acquainted with the stories of people who have experienced terrible falls in order to take off later: Oprah Winfrey, Nick Vuychich, Kylie Minnaug, Konstantin Khabensky and others.
Find out how they came to their senses after terrible diseases, congenital abnormalities, rape in childhood, fight against cancer, betrayal of men, loss of a loved one, etc. Perhaps their stories will inspire you.
Hold on! Your burden is within your power!
Such specialists are enraged, I treat them and their advice as the advice of the head of the Ministry of Finance, the head of the central bank, the head of government, the president that you need to survive the crisis and everything will be fine ... the crisis is a fact and you yourself live interrupting from salary to salary.
Uranus, the same bullshit. At the slightest glimpse similar to a white stripe, the stripe immediately goes even blacker.
I would even paraphrase "After the darkest night, dawn comes" to "After dawn, the night is even darker than yesterday."
When you were laid off, you cannot find a job for 4 months, and already when you realize that the stash is running out and you need to find some kind of coven for the summer, since every man knows how to work with his hands, so that at least somehow hold out, you break your hand and you can’t do anything with to do it. It's just tough. Sometimes you just sit and don't know what to do.
Although there is a positive, they say there is a positive in everything, I learned to type with one hand, you can see this is my white line about which everyone writes.
This article is useful if a person really comes up with problems for themselves. But if the problems are real, then these tips are like a spit in the soul. And “accept the death of your loved ones” is not even advice, but simply a necessity in order to live on. The one who wrote the article apparently does not know what it is when your life is a solid black bar. When you fight as best you can, but life does not leave you loopholes and every day there is such agony that even in hell it will not be so bad. It remains, of course, to think positively lol))) Someone is lucky, and he manages to overcome adversity, and someone will not get out of the swamp for years, no matter how hard you try.
Thank you Uranus for your opinion!
But, unfortunately, you did not tell us what is happening in your life, that "every day there is such agony that even in hell it will not be so bad."
Let's assume that you or your loved ones have huge health problems. And what do you think, the famous Nick Vuychich, a man without arms and legs, who received an excellent education, married and gave birth to sons with his wife, is engaged in diving, surfing, jumping with a parachute, and at the same time writes books and gives motivating lectures around the world, it is easier ? Read about it at your leisure.
The most famous American TV presenter, Oprah Winfrey, grew up in a terrible slum with drinking parents, was raped by a relative as a teenager and gave birth to a premature baby, whom she later buried. Who could have guessed that this dark-skinned girl could make millions from intimate conversations and become a national idol?
And there are a lot of such examples of strong-willed, just unbending people.
A financial disaster? Change jobs, look for a part-time job on the Internet, and, finally, apply for a long ruble abroad, using the services of a good employment agency.
PS. In the same Israel, the salaries of ordinary workers start at $ 1200 per month. It is easiest to consider an empty wallet and "sour". It is against such inaction and decadence that I wanted to warn readers.
My good friend Sergei quit his job as a vocalist in one of the provincial ensembles and became a truck driver in Poland to provide for his family. He says that no creative ambitions torment him, because family is a priority, and music will not go anywhere as a hobby.
Has your beloved abandoned? Family collapsed? There is always a chance either to return a person, or, having burnt out the necessary, to meet your new love. Although, of course, it's damn hard to believe in a couple of days after breaking up.
Tortured by complexes? Read books on psychology, articles on specialized sites, sign up for a training - take at least one small step in the fight against the problem.
In a word, no matter how life beats you, there is always an opportunity, if not to radically change the situation, then to make it less deplorable. We sincerely wish you the best of luck!
- The relationship between the signs of the zodiac: compatibility and incompatibility 02.02.2018
- How is love for nature manifested? 02/01/2018
- How to beat off a guy: 6 tips + 3 TABOO 01/31/2018
- What to talk about with a guy on a first date: 8 topics 01/30/2018
- How to communicate with a girl: rules and methods 01/27/2018
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Ecology of life: Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation”. Usually, in such cases, we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.
Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation”. Usually, in such cases, we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless" situation - that's all, and nothing can be done about it. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.
There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, however, even in this case, it does not at all follow from this that you are freeing yourself from the elimination of the consequences of the ill-fated "hopeless situation", and maybe the prerequisites for such. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, it largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for suggests considering this issue using more or less typical examples ...
Imagine a situation: a new management came to the firm where you work - and announced a massive "layoff" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "layoffs" - you. Write "your own way" - and get out of the firm.
The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really going on. If the new bosses are nevertheless at least minimally adequate, then you can talk to them about what you can agree on with them. You look, everything will be settled. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.
If, however, a newly-minted, crazed leader directly in your eyes declares that someone's son is planned for your place (for example, his), but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Moreover, if you are a punctual and efficient employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.
Consider a hypothetical second "hopeless" example - betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn't matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.
A seemingly hopeless situation, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good lesson: in people you need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this is, perhaps, a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even not at all suitable for you. Or maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in relations with people in the future.
The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you have been robbed or robbed. As you yourself understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. They stole a million. It would seem a complete impasse. But no!
First, it depends on you whether you will stir up the relevant competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and with competent work of the authorities, provided, among other things, by you, the villain will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. A little more activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable way out.
In principle, you can continue indefinitely. The general meaning is this: if you understand the ins and outs of the emerging "insoluble" situation, especially the reasons for the emergence of such, and at the same time competently and actively act yourself in a constructive way - the impossible turns out to be little.
Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander through the dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are still other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To declare that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.
It will be interesting for you:
But in general, an acceptable way out for you exists in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into the same ill-fated 1%, - all the same, if you wish, even from it, you can extract a share of positive. At least in the form of life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": there are actually very, very few "hopeless situations"!
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