Often people start thinking about how to start life with clean slate. There is a desire to change something for the better, to start building relationships with people, a career, and life in a completely different way. For this, some need to change their job, move to another city, some stop communicating with certain acquaintances, and some get divorced. Sometimes, to start a new life, it is enough to make a number of changes, get rid of bad habits, transform the worldview. The main thing is to know what exactly to strive for. Set your goals and get down to business. You can start your life again right now, without putting it off for a long time.
Defining new prioritiesHave you decided that it’s time to change something in your life? Do you feel that your development is hampered by negative factors, do you lack fresh impressions, new acquaintances? Then it's time for you to start life from scratch. It's never too late to do this. Don’t be embarrassed, don’t be afraid of changes: you will quickly adapt to everything unknown and gain invaluable experience. Immediately determine what exactly you are striving for, what problems are already brewing.
- Lack of communication. Oddly enough, many people suffer from a lack of communication. It's not a matter of quantity. Think about whether you are satisfied with the circle of your acquaintances? To what extent do they support you and inspire you with optimism? Sometimes it is frequent communication with a certain circle of people that negatively affects psychological condition, self-esteem. Be open to new acquaintances, meet with interesting people, go to evenings, receptions. It is quite possible that new friends will become a role model for you in some way, give you a boost of optimism, give you interesting ideas, and give you an impetus for development.
- Absence career growth, job satisfaction. Are you tired of waiting for a promotion? Still counting money until payday? Your financial situation is stable, but your work tires you out physically, psychologically, and does not bring you satisfaction at all? Then it’s worth thinking about changes in this area. It's important to be careful here. Objectively weigh the pros and cons so that leaving the service does not undermine your financial condition. Changes and job search should not frighten you in themselves. Be objective. Perhaps there is already another path for you, promising and reliable, you just don’t see it yet. Because they weren't looking. Do this without delay.
- Location. Sometimes you can even move to another city to open up new opportunities. Check out this path too. If you are already convinced that there is not enough space for you in your city, you are not able to apply the acquired knowledge and experience, or find a decent place of work, you should think over a moving plan and choose the most suitable geographical location. It’s great if you have some friends and acquaintances there. In this case, the ability to clearly analyze everything, find best option. First of all, pay attention to employment opportunities, accommodation and planned expenses in a particular area. You will also need to re-establish the necessary contacts and circle of acquaintances.
- Family. In some cases, starting life with a clean slate is possible only after a divorce or leaving the parental home. Unfortunately, relationships with spouses and relatives do not always go well, which negatively affects a person’s entire life. Sometimes there are paradoxical situations: it seems that people feel good with each other, but together they are constrained, dependent, and cannot reach their potential. It is necessary to change the situation in such a situation. It is not always necessary to completely stop communication; usually it is enough to “separate”, start living at home, and pay more attention to yourself and your personal life.
- Appearance. Yes, this factor matters most to women. Someone may be surprised or laugh, but too much a big nose, small breasts, curvy figures can completely determine a woman’s psychological state, her view of the world. Feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, irritated, such a woman misses many opportunities to change her life for the better. The ideal option is to combine two solutions to the problem at once.
- One way is purely practical. You need to take care of yourself, seriously take up training, lose weight, and overshadow existing shortcomings with newly discovered advantages, a newly created image that is catchy and memorable.
- The second way is also necessary. It is important to rebuild internally, psychologically, to love and accept yourself. Then life will begin with a clean slate.
- One way is purely practical. You need to take care of yourself, seriously take up training, lose weight, and overshadow existing shortcomings with newly discovered advantages, a newly created image that is catchy and memorable.
- Bad habits. It is often extremely difficult for a person to give up bad habits. They no longer seem harmful; they have become part of life. At the same time, inconvenience is felt, there is negative effect. You feel it's time to change. Get started! And instead of old habits, develop new ones, replace negative ones with positive ones. Get used to loving and appreciating yourself and taking care of your health. Start your life with a clean slate without the annoying dependence on unpleasant habits.
We develop a specific plan and implement plans
Try to immediately come to concrete decisions. Find out exactly what steps you will take to start your life with a clean slate. For example, someone who wants to give up the habit of smoking needs to solve very specific problems: choose appropriate exercises, create a diet, consult a doctor, and, if necessary, get advice from a psychologist. The same plan will be needed in any other case. Take action!
- Right today. Don't delay implementing your decision. No need to wait for something new zodiac year, good location of the stars. You build your own destiny, why waste time? Get started now.
- We are writing a plan. Take a piece of paper and a pen, mark on paper all your goals and priorities. Write what is stopping you from living life to the fullest, develop, realize your potential. Immediately indicate what exactly you need to do to overcome obstacles, get rid of negative factors. Approximately indicate the time you plan to spend on implementing your plans.
- We keep a diary of achievements. Since you are already starting life from scratch, at the initial stage you will have quite a lot of things to do, both serious and less important, but also significant. You will change, transform the environment around you. Write down all your plans day by day, don’t confuse anything, be sure to note what you have already managed to do. Reviewing your achievement diary every day will be a great incentive to further development. Any victory is pleasant, and when something doesn’t work out, this is another reason to get down to business with redoubled zeal. All in your hands!
- Let's not lose tradition. You don't have to “burn bridges” at all. Try to change everything smoothly, without abandoning yourself in the past, without breaking off relationships with people. You are not at war with yourself or the world around you. Why leave ruins behind? Let no one be offended. You are developing, you need to start a new life. Explain to yourself and others that this process is completely natural and natural. You just manage it yourself, and don’t let everything take its course.
- Look at change positively! Even if something didn’t work out for you right away, you shouldn’t give up. Remember how you learned to walk as a child, and often stumbled and fell. Do you think now when you walk, are you afraid of every new step? Just do everything that depends on you, act and go straight to the goal. You will certainly achieve the desired result.
Every Monday, month or year we hope many seek a fresh start in life. There is hope in my soul that now I will definitely live in a new way, but expectations are not always met.
Life with a clean slate
If change does not come on its own, a revolution is needed - in the way of thinking and behavior. Ask yourself a few questions that will help you understand how to change tomorrow.
Do you have goals?
It is necessary to strive for something, otherwise the guidelines for growth are lost. Melancholy and anxiety appear, it becomes unclear why one should do certain things, who needs all this.
Sometimes rationalism does a disservice. A person wants an expensive car, but strives for at least one, and in the end he is left empty-handed. And if he had dreamed of a specific brand, the situation could have developed in such a way that a good job and money would appear to buy that very car.
What to do? Listen to yourself and understand what you need. The desire must be bold, invigorating, then it comes from the soul. Imagine that everything has come true and the long-awaited moment has arrived. Now, what will you lose if you don’t achieve your goal? This will give you an incentive to act. New tasks will give you strength and make you do what you need to do easily and with pleasure.
The main condition is clear formulation. Many people have illogical dreams, like a kaleidoscope of bright pictures that cannot be structured. If you want an apartment, you need to draw out everything in detail - from the area and number of floors of the house to interior items. Details bring implementation closer. And there is no magic in this, you just build a ladder between yourself and the goal, where each step is an action plan.
The anticipation of victory is good for your well-being
Do you feel supported?
A lot depends on your environment. It happens that friends or relatives pull you down on an unconscious level: they laugh at your great plans, doubt your abilities. Following them, you lose faith in yourself and stop acting.
What to do? Every time you give up, cheer up, otherwise you will simply wither away.
Try to surround yourself successful people that inspire and fill with energy. By gradually adopting their habits, turns of speech, and manner of behaving, you will also achieve heights in a certain area.
If you dream of financial stability, take a closer look at those who earn serious money. You should only share your hopes and plans with such people; they know for sure that everything you strive for can actually be achieved. If you want a harmonious family, communicate with married ladies who are happily married. If you are planning a child, make friends with those who already have healthy and strong children.
Start your life with a clean slate, but leave a copy of your old mistakes.
Do you like what you do?
Taste for life and energy are given only by what brings pleasure. Therefore, do not forget to give yourself - the beloved, the beautiful, the wonderful and the unique - as much time as possible, to pamper yourself.
What to do? Find a passion. Not lucky enough to have Good work- Look for a hobby that brings you joy. But it is necessary to maintain balance and develop in other directions too. Otherwise, you can become, for example, financially successful, but with family problems and a lot of illnesses.
Give equal amounts of energy to the main areas of your life: health, relationships, money and personal growth. Don't miss the opportunity to learn something, it opens up new horizons. Then everything will be easy, and others will decide that you are the darling of fate.
Whoever has experienced the pleasure of creativity, for him all other pleasures no longer exist
Don't be afraid to change. Only their output, no matter how trite it may sound, is the engine of self-development. Starting life from scratch is always scary, but if you are not happy with the present, then what are you afraid of losing? :)
“Tomorrow” motivation for action
WE ALL HAVE A MASS OF QUESTIONS FOR OURSELVES AND THE WORLD, with whom it seems there is no time or it is not worth going to a psychologist. But convincing answers are not born when talking to yourself, or with friends, or with parents. Therefore, we asked professional psychotherapist Olga Miloradova to answer pressing questions once a week. By the way, if you have them, send them to .
How to start life from scratch?
From childhood we are told that we need to study better, achieve more, always run somewhere, hurry up, finish school with honors, go to college as quickly as possible - you’ll get better later, and then - no, you need to get married, and it’s time to have children, otherwise you won’t have time, eggs are not sperm, they are finite. But in the end, when this endless stream calms down a little, there is a chance to find yourself in an unloved job, or with an unloved husband, or unwanted children. Or, conversely, without the children you dreamed of so much, but in the abyss of a hated job. Or in general, out of luck - it just happened that way, out of a feeling of contradiction, for example. The main thing is that you woke up today or tomorrow, and the following thought comes to your mind: wait, this is not all that and not me, is this what I dreamed about?
Olga Miloradova
psychotherapist
Despite the fact that I strongly advocate that every person should give up living other people’s lives and finally begin to live their own, I do not advise giving up everything at once and running to some ashram in India, even if the book “Eat, Pray, Love" has proven it the best way resolution of all problems. First, sit down and think, more than once, why you are where you are? How did you end up in this place? Did your own dreams or the hopes of loved ones bring you here? Who are you and what do you dream about? Did you dream of writing screenplays, but became a lawyer because your dad wanted you to? Or did you really want to be a lawyer, and dad wanted the same thing, but you were so infuriated that dad offended mom that, to spite him, you decided to become, well, for example, a flight attendant? Perhaps your own dreams and your honestly hard-earned decisions brought you here, but what you have is no longer viable? Or maybe you never were, but you overestimated your strength.
In order to honestly admit many things to yourself, you often simply don’t have the courage. How to accept the fact that you are not smart enough for a scientific career? Or are your hands not dexterous enough to be good surgeon. Or that your husband is no longer attracted to you, either mentally or physically. In the latter situation, it is much worse if he is still the same close friend and comrade, but you don’t want sex with him at all. In most cases, our lives are not black and white, so any situation, even the most unbearable, is not always unequivocally bad. It has at least this plus - it is familiar to you, in it you know how to behave, where to hide and how to survive, and everything new and unknown is fraught with fear that suddenly everything will be even worse.
Unfortunately, life does not provide any guarantees and the choice is always yours. This is why you can meet the love of your life, but end up with someone with whom everything is so familiar and routine. Or, on the contrary, try to escape when you suddenly fall in love against the backdrop of a long calm, and then realize that you have truly betrayed your person and will not return you. And yet, if you really thought carefully, weighed the pros and cons and realized that everything you have does not suit you and is not viable, then this fear of change must be overcome. Yes, there are no guarantees for success, but any changes are a sip fresh air, This new experience, new paths and opportunities.
Let go of your past. Don't compare what's happening to you now
with what you gave up
Think about who you are going to start this new life with. Are you taking your partner with you or is that the one you are going to give up? Think about those people with whom you are used to communicating: are they all really your friends and necessary for you, or do you maintain relationships with some of them out of politeness/out of old memory, or maybe it is they who are pulling you back? Evaluate the pros and cons properly, you are starting a new life, you must understand who is part of this new life and who is not.
Let go of your past. Don't cling to it, don't compare what's happening to you now with what you gave up. Yes, this is your experience, it is definitely useful in some way, you probably learned a lot from the mistakes you made, but in general, try to take only positive memories from your past life and turn the page.
Now it's time to make real plans. Make a list of what you would like to change and what specific steps you can take towards these changes. Try not to embrace global categories; it is better to plan changes in small steps, setting short-term realistic goals. It is also advisable to avoid phrases such as “I must” when drawing up your plan. You are changing your life for the better. Do you want that. Your small changes are your desires and joys, not sword of Damocles duties and obligations.
For every doubt, make more efforts and try to cultivate positive thinking.
And since we’re talking about small steps, you can start changing with your appearance For example. Often even such a small thing as new hairstyle, can help you feel like a new person or at least mark the beginning of a new stage. Start thinking like new person, under no circumstances look back with thoughts of what would have happened if... Nothing new will begin until you end the old one, this is especially noticeable when trying to build a new relationship without losing hope of resuscitating the previous ones. So, don't forget to close these doors tightly. But at the same time, forget about things like “I can’t” and “I won’t succeed.” We talked about setting realistic goals, right? This means that for every doubt, make more efforts and try to cultivate in yourself positive thinking. Besides the fact that we are what we eat, we are much more what we think. If we think of ourselves as a failure, then every further action will only confirm this, right?
And don't forget that we are still limited in time. The longer we wait, the more difficult it is to start something new, on the one hand (after all, the brain’s ability to learn and remember decreases with age), and also the more difficult it is for us to admit that all these years we have been doing something wrong. Imagine, it’s one thing to leave an abusive partner at 25, and another thing to leave an abusive partner at 50 and think about what most of life was devoted to suffering, it was much easier to pretend until the last that everything was fine. However, whoever you are and whatever you do, and even if you are not going to change anything at all, try to at least sometimes distance yourself from your professional identity. First of all, because you are not just a journalist, marketer, veterinarian, student - you are a much more multifaceted personality, and who knows what talents are still hidden in you? And even without talents, there is a child in each of us who deserves unconditional love. And not for anything, but just like that.
Surely everyone has at least once had the thought of starting life from scratch. Someone is tired of the daily pulling of the blanket over themselves in the family, someone can no longer tolerate the humiliation of their superiors, etc. It would seem that what would be easier is to get a divorce or change jobs, but not everyone dares to take such a step or not right away.
However, by driving ourselves into increasingly strict frameworks and boundaries, we only intensify the process of self-destruction and do not allow ourselves to open up and use all our capabilities. But nothing is impossible.
First steps
To start living from scratch, you must first of all believe in yourself, realize that there are no barriers to a new life except those created in your own imagination.
How many people are there around you who have achieved something in life and become happier and richer? A lot of? So why do you think that you yourself are unworthy of this?
What's stopping you - an irregularly shaped nose, lack of education or connections? Stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself and start taking action!
The path of self-abasement is the most easy way, but you won’t be able to say with complete confidence that the path up is even harder until you overcome it. In the end, give yourself a chance to try, and you will always have time to return to your previous life.
To be more specific own desires and their dreams need to be transferred to paper. Make a plan where you describe your actions point by point and start sticking to them here and now, without putting it off.
With such a clear plan in hand, and not a ghostly idea of future life in your head, you will be more likely to achieve everything you set out to do. Most likely, not everything will go according to this plan, and you will go astray more than once, but this is normal, because you do not yet have experience of living in new and unusual conditions and you will return to the past more than once.
But moving along a precisely planned course, you will definitely come to your goal, even if this path is too winding.
Habits and grievances
To start your existence with a clean slate, you must first of all leave your past and everything that was in it - grievances, disappointments, some sorrows, etc. The past is decay, it happened and will never happen again, living in the past means not letting a chance to live in the present and fill your own existence with positivity and optimism.
What do you want: To be right or to be happy? Perhaps someone in the past greatly offended you, and you just can’t let go of the situation and forgive this person. But you must understand that this addiction only destroys you.
That person may no longer remember you, and you are destroying yourself day by day and not giving yourself a chance to rise up and become a different person.
If anything in your home reminds you of the past, collect it all and take it to social service dedicated to helping the poor. If your hand doesn’t rise to do this, then just hide these things out of sight.
Then, when enough time has passed and everything in your life gets better, you will look at these things with a grin and have difficulty remembering that they once plunged you into despondency and sadness. Start changing gradually.
This applies not only to the inner world, but also to the external appearance. This factor is of particular importance for women. Try to completely change your image. Consult a professional stylist, hairdresser, or makeup artist. You won’t even notice how the new image will work for you.
For those who started a new life from scratch after a divorce, this must be done first. A free person has a lot of prospects. Are you tired of constant cooking?
Now you don’t need to stand at the stove for hours, you can limit yourself to some salad, and how good it is for your figure! Dreamed of going to dances, courses in English or to the gym, but didn’t have time?
Now you have plenty of this time! But by visiting interest clubs and meeting new people, you give yourself a chance to make new friends who can give you interesting ideas and give you an impetus for new development.
Career
If the main thing that darkened your life was a hateful and low-paying job, it’s time to change it. But there is no need to rush here, as there is a high chance of staying broke. It's better to start looking early new vacancy. If you are happy with everything at work except your relationship with the team, there is a chance to fix everything.
There are a lot of psychological techniques to put a presumptuous colleague in his place and change the existing state of affairs. You can turn to a psychologist for help, or even better, start helping people.
Just like that, without expecting a response from them. And then you will see how life will finally turn to face you and be painted with new, unprecedented colors.
Preserving the family
If you reach a dead end love relationship, but there is a desire to remain a couple, you can suggest to your other half: Let's start all over again with a clean slate!
However, in order to maintain such a relationship, you will have to try and the first thing you need to do is forgive old grievances and not drag them into a new life. Learn to trust your loved one, because if he wanted to try, it means he cares. It may be worth considering the option of moving to a new place of residence.
If your relationship is being killed by habit and lack of new experiences, then there is a lot of work to be done on yourself. As paradoxical as it sounds, in order to be of interest to another person, you need to stop being his shadow, and start living your own life.
Move away a little, make new acquaintances, start visiting new places. This will allow your other half to look at you with new eyes and see something that he may have simply not noticed before.
A self-sufficient person always commands respect; you always want to be around such a person. The same applies to family. You can only start a relationship with your parents from scratch when you grow up.
If you feel strong enough in yourself, and your parents do not want to let you out from under your own wing, prove to them that you are already an adult and then they will understand that they can trust you and rely on you.
Consolidate the result
Make it a rule to keep a diary of achievements and write down in it all the events that you are proud of. Make it a rule to create the prerequisites for such events every day. This will be an excellent incentive for further development.
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