Christening is the second birth of a baby, but before God. Parents are carefully preparing for this important event, are scrupulous in choosing their godfather and mother. Often right choice is given with great difficulty, because not everyone agrees to take on such responsibility. The Church says that anyone can baptize a child, but he must truly become a parent of the Holy Spirit throughout his life. Who should be chosen for such a responsible title, and can a woman and a man who are husband and wife become godparents?
Godparents husband and wife: the opinion of the Moscow Patriarch on the reasons for the ban
The main requirement of the Orthodox Church for those who baptize a child is that they must steadfastly believe, live a church life, and know at least the most basic prayers (“Gospel”, “Our Father”, for example). This is urgently necessary so that in the future they can fully fulfill the role of teachers for their godson. Church parents should provide basic knowledge about Orthodox faith, spiritual principles of human existence. If the recipients are people ignorant of such matters, then great doubts arise in their initial desire to become godparents.
The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of every condition relating to the sacrament of baptism, and has a negative attitude towards cases when people deliberately do not comply with certain rules. There is an acute question about the possibility of becoming godparents of a man and woman who are married. On this score Orthodox religion your opinion, which is worth dwelling on in more detail.
According to Orthodox canons, a husband and wife cannot become spiritual parents of one child. It is believed that they are already one when they are married. And if both baptize the baby, this is wrong. This position is explained by the fact that during the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must gain integrity in relation to the child, and if they are already spiritually united, then the rite will not be recognized as valid.
Some priests are loyal to this issue and reason like this: if the marriage was not concluded in the church, this gives the husband and wife the right to baptize one child, since their relationship was not sealed in heaven. To make sure whether a husband and wife can be godparents, seek the strong opinion of the highest religious officials and listen to what the Moscow Patriarchate thinks about this. Watch the video below which discusses the topic in detail.
What does the Catholic Church say?
A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, and unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for christenings to be held in early age. The process of carrying out the ritual is the same almost everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end a cross is put on. The only difference is the requirements that allow or prohibit believers from taking certain steps. The Catholic Church differs from the Orthodox Church on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.
It all starts with the parents coming to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest catholic church) all questions regarding preparation for the ceremony, set a date, agree with the one who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the child’s life, which include the responsibility to take him to Sunday school and prepare him for religious rites (community, confirmation). Selection approach godparents here is doubly difficult and is an important task for any believer.
In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, the Catholic faith has its own rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:
- They believe and practice Catholicism.
- They do not have any family ties with the baby.
- Have reached your 16th birthday. If the reasons are compelling, the abbot may make an exception.
- Catholics by religion who have undergone the sacrament of First Communion and confirmation (confirmation). This is a ritual of anointing, which is performed in adulthood. This is how Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
- They are not the child's parents.
- They are husband and wife.
Married couple – godparents of one child: superstitions and traditions
According to the traditions of the Orthodox Church, a man and woman who baptize a baby enter into a spiritual relationship. It is valued so highly that no other union is more important than this (including marriage). There are several traditions in the Orthodox faith that call into question the possibility of baptizing other people's children for a married couple. Here are the main points when spouses are prohibited from being heirs:
- A couple of people are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of infant baptism if they are spouses. If this happens, then their marriage will not be able to exist on a spiritual level: it will not have a sacred bond.
- Similar to established spouses, a couple who intends to enter into a marriage does not have the right to baptize. Since at the time of baptism they will acquire a spiritual unity (kinship) that is exalted above the physical, they will have to abandon their relationship in favor of acquiring the status of godparents.
- A couple who lives in a civil marriage also does not have the right to become godparents to a child, because initially such ties are condemned by the church and are considered fornication.
Despite these prohibitions, there are options when a husband and wife have the right to baptize children of the same family if they meet other requirements of the Orthodox Church. They must do this separately: the man baptizes one child, and the woman baptizes the other. That is, spouses can baptize their siblings (or blood brothers, sisters). If they do this separately, they will not lose the sanctity of their marital union.
If baptism with adopted spouses still occurs due to ignorance, then such a situation can only be resolved by the highest authority of the church (the ruling bishop). The spouses appeal to the ruling bishop to get out of this situation. The outcome may be in the following ways: the marriage will be declared invalid or the spouses will be called to repentance for a sin committed out of ignorance.
Who else should not be made godparents?
If you decide to baptize your child, then you must know all the requirements and customs of the church, which prohibit taking children as successors (except for husband and wife):
- the baby's blood parents;
- one who has not been baptized or does not believe in any religion (atheist);
- a person who denies any truth of the Orthodox religion;
- if the one who baptizes treats the sacrament of baptism as magical rite, and pursues its goals (in the pagan sense);
- people who do not want to become godparents for this child;
- adoptive father or adoptive mother;
- people who are members of other faiths;
- children under 14 years of age;
- monks and representatives of the church rank;
- people whose views are not subject to morality;
- persons with mental disabilities;
- women who experience cleansing days with their periods.
Who can be taken as a receiver?
When parents think about choosing a foster child for their child, they should be guided not only by their own considerations. It is necessary to comply with all religious rules, according to which the following can become a godfather or mother:
- His relatives are grandparents, aunts or uncles. Perhaps this will be an older sister or brother who has reached the age of fourteen.
- Godmothers (those whose child you yourself are the child’s successor).
- Godmother of the first child. It happens that a person has already baptized a baby in one family, but they had a second one, and the same godparents who baptized the firstborn were taken as godparents.
- If there are no recipients, then the priest who performs the ritual can become one.
- Pregnant woman.
- An unmarried girl who has no children.
Dear parents, you need to understand that you need to choose a person as godparents who will not just take part in church ceremony, but will truly love the baby and will be able to become a spiritual mentor for him for life. Answering the question of who is allowed to take as a successor, the church implies a believer, responsible, conscious and loving person, so that the ritual acquires the correct meaning and ultimate purpose.
The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfathers or godmothers. It is recommended to take blood relatives as godparents. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.
Orthodox Christians
A person who is an Orthodox Christian and regularly receives communion can become a recipient. Atheists and representatives of other religious denominations cannot be godparents. At the same time, in mandatory must know the Creed and read it during baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular temple attendance and education in Christian faith- an integral part of the duties of a godfather.
Age
People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.
Church servants
The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. Besides, adoptive parents They also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.
By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.
What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?
It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.
Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.
The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized person, but also a kind of backup for the biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.
Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!
Briefly:
- The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
- There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
- After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
- Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
- Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.
Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.
– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?
– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.
Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.
During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.
The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.
– What should I give to my godson?
– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.
In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.
– How can I choose godparents for my child?
– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.
The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.
– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?
- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.
– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?
– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.
– Who can’t be a godfather?
- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.
An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.
According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.
– Which relative can be godfather?
– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving little man love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.
– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?
– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.
As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.
“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?
– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.
– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?
– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.
On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.
– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?
– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.
About godparents
Natalia Sukhinina
“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."
(From a letter from a reader)
It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.
Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?
To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received as a wedding gift something as thin as a cobweb. gold chain. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have scattered from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.
Who doesn't know this picture?
Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.
Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God's temple- a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:
- Do you wear a cross?
– Do you read prayers?
– Are you reading the Gospel?
– Do you honor church holidays?
And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.
The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.
We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.
Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.
– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.
“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.
The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.
At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.
... The baby's baptism is behind us. Ahead of him big life, in which we are given a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.
Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.
This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.
If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.
The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.
But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.
This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.
Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.
For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, busy, not very much a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.
Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my daughter was a great and unexpected gift for me. childhood friend. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents go ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:
– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...
Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.
Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.
More from ancient Rus' In our country, a tradition has emerged of baptizing children, without giving them the opportunity to choose another faith.
Thus, in Russia, the majority of citizens adhere to the Orthodox faith.
In order to baptize a child, it is necessary to choose godparents. And the Orthodox Church strictly sets the requirements for who can be godparents, so it is important to know and follow these rules.
The sacrament itself is performed directly in the church. There are no age restrictions for joining Orthodoxy, so this ritual can be performed by a person at any age.
But according to Russian customs, parents of newborns try to baptize their children in the first year of life. Thus, they place their baby under the protection of the Almighty.
Godparents must be present during the baptism ceremony. They are considered to be people who are in spiritual closeness with their godson. They should be the child's mentors in the future.
At the same time, it is believed that it is not at all necessary that there be two parents. One is enough, but for boys the godfather must be the godfather, and for the girls the godmother must be the godmother.
The presence of the parents in the church is not necessary, but if the child is small, then it will be much calmer for him to be close to his family in an unfamiliar place.
During the baptism process, the godparent must hold the child and be constantly with him. If the baby is small, then he is completely immersed in holy water.
If a person is already an adult, then he simply must plunge his head three times into holy water. After bathing the child, the godparent must pick him up, dry him and put on new clothes.
Before choosing godparents for your child, as well as agreeing to become a godfather for someone, it is important to understand the very essence of this rite and your further responsibilities towards the godson.
You cannot simply attend the ceremony and then forget about the responsibility to the child that is assigned by faith.
Baptism itself is called the second birth of a person. At this moment his spiritual world is born. Since faith implies that after death the life of the soul does not end, then being in human body, she should not accumulate sins in herself.
That is why the church imposes the following responsibilities on godparents:
The problem for many families is modern world is that their children undergo the rite of baptism, but in fact they do not see the embodiment of Christian ideas in the family.
If the family is not involved in the faith, and even more so if the basic commandments are violated, it will be much more difficult for the child to perceive life in accordance with these commandments.
Most churches now do not perform the baptism ceremony until the godparents have completed special courses.
This measure was created so that people are aware of the full responsibility of this step and are able to refuse before they assume their responsibilities to the Almighty.
After completing the courses, people become truly ready for the sacrament, and they understand what they should do after baptism throughout their lives.
Knowing all the responsibilities assigned to godparents, you need to choose those people who are most suitable for fulfilling them.
But it is also important to consider certain points:
- The religion of the godparents themselves.
- Family connection with the future godson.
- The family connection between the godparents themselves.
- Special periods for women.
- Age of godparents.
To take these features into account, you need to know who cannot be godparents according to church laws:
The question also often arises about whether it is possible to be pregnant at the sacrament of baptism? The Church does not prohibit the entry of women carrying a child under their hearts, and also does not prohibit becoming a godmother.
Knowing all these features, as well as your close circle of friends and family, it can be quite difficult to choose someone.
Very often it turns out that among possible options godparents turn out to be the same people for many relatives and friends.
Therefore, it turns out that the same person is often offered to become godfather several times for different children.
And two main questions arise:
This is why courses for godparents, now organized by many churches, are important. Because, despite the fact that in 2019 it is becoming increasingly fashionable to baptize a child, as well as assign him influential godparents, the most important thing is forgotten, this is the essence of baptism itself.
The financial status of the appointed godparent is not so important as his lifestyle, which must comply with biblical covenants.
The godparent must be a spiritual mentor and show his godson by example how to live and what spiritual principles must be observed in any situation.
It is also important to know that you cannot change godparents after baptism.. Chosen parents become parents for life. Sometimes it happens that after baptism the godparent greatly changed his lifestyle for the worse.
But in this case, the godson himself and his parents must pray for the godparent’s deliverance from sins and try to put him on the right path.
No one has the right to refuse such a godparent. It is impossible to re-baptize. Therefore, it is very important to choose reliable godparents for your children.
However, in cases where the godparent renounced Orthodoxy, accepted another faith, or became an atheist, then such a sacred union will be considered dissolved.
Similarly, we can evaluate those cases when the godparent has sunk to the most forbidden sins, which are prohibited by the Testaments.
In this case, it is implied that this person does not want to live according to the precepts of the Bible, and also does not want to be an example for his godson.
In this case, the natural parents can ask other godly people to take charge of their child's spiritual lifestyle. It is imperative to inform the holy father about this situation before the ceremony itself.
Many godparents like to pamper their godchildren with expensive gifts in order to win their favor and bring them closer spiritually.
But you need to understand that this is not the purpose of godparents. Parents should not choose godparents based on the size of their wallet.
The most the best gifts that the church mentions are:
This is exactly what gifts from godparents to their godchildren should look like. But besides this, the church does not prohibit giving other gifts that will delight the child. But still, the main emphasis should be placed on the spiritual education of the godson.
It is also believed that the most important date for giving is the name day of the godson’s guardian angel. During the sacrament of baptism, a person who converts to Orthodoxy receives a second name.
It may coincide with his real name, if this name is in the Orthodox book of names. And if the name is missing, then the child will be assigned a different name from this book.
Each such name has a name day date. If the selected name has several dates during the year when name days are celebrated, the date closest to the Orthodox person’s birthday is selected. It is on this date that godparents must give gifts to their godson.
Knowing all the nuances of the sacrament, as well as the requirements of the church for godparents, it is important to approach the choice of a godparent very responsibly.
It is better to make them a responsible relative than an influential family friend. Because financial values in this case are not as important as spiritual ones.
Video: Godparents. Responsibilities of a godfather. Baptism in church
Baptism is the most significant event in the life of every Orthodox person. And of course, you need to take a responsible approach to choosing godparents. After all, they are second parents and play an important role in a person’s life. There are many superstitions about godparents. And many people wonder: who can be a godfather and who cannot. Let's try to answer the most frequently asked questions on this topic.
Can children be godparents?
By church rules, children from the age of seven already bear full responsibility for their actions. They are no longer allowed to take communion without confession. Therefore, if a child is sufficiently churched, he can become a godfather. But when choosing a child as godparent, think carefully. The godmother or father must raise their godson in the Orthodox faith, and the child himself is still just learning the basics of Orthodoxy. Still, it is better to choose an adult, accomplished person as godparents. After all, if something happens to the child’s blood parents, the minor will not be able to take responsibility for the godson. If you nevertheless decide to take a minor as godparents, it is better that this is a child who has reached the age of 15.
Can there be one godfather?
There are situations when a christening has already been scheduled, an agreement has been made with the priest and guests have been invited, but one of the godparents cannot attend the baptism. Or you couldn’t find a second receiver at all. What to do in such a situation? The Church allows baptism with one godparent. The second one can be recorded in absentia on the baptismal certificate. But there is one here important point. When a girl is baptized, a godmother must be present, and for a male infant, a godfather must be present. During the sacrament, the godfather (of the same sex as the child) will pronounce on behalf of the baby a vow of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the Creed.
Can a sister be a godmother?
If the sister is a believer, an Orthodox person, she can become a godmother. But it is desirable that the godmother is already quite an adult, because she will have to bear responsibility not only for herself, but also for her godson. Many who have adult sisters take them as godparents. After all, no one will take care of a godson like a loved one.
Can an ex-husband be a godfather?
This more of a question morality. If you have excellent friendly relations with your ex-husband, and he is not the natural father of your child, he can become a godfather. But if your ex-husband biological father child, then he cannot be the adopter, since natural parents cannot be the adopter of their child. Well, again, the godfather becomes practically a relative, so discuss with your current husband whether he will be against your such a close relationship with your ex-husband.
Can the godfather's wife be a godmother?
The godfather's wife cannot be a foster child if we are talking about the same baby, since the church prohibits spouses from being foster children of the same child. During the sacrament, they acquire a spiritual connection, which means that there cannot be an intimate relationship between them.
Can a brother be a godfather?
Native or cousin may become a godfather. The Church does not prohibit close relatives from being godparents. The only exceptions are the child's parents. Grandmothers, brothers, aunts and uncles can be godparents. The main thing is that these people are Orthodox, baptized, and take a responsible approach to fulfilling the duties of godparents. That is, to teach a child the basics of Orthodoxy and raise him to be a believer, an honest and decent person.
Can husband and wife be godparents?
During the baptismal ceremony, a woman and a man become spiritual relatives, which means they cannot be married. Because marriage implies physical intimacy, which cannot exist between spiritual parents.
If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.
A husband and wife can baptize children from the same family. A man can become the godfather of one child, and the wife can become the godmother of another baby.
If a husband and wife unknowingly become the adoptive parents of the same child, the spouses need to contact the ruling bishop. As a rule, there are two ways out of this situation: recognition of the marriage as invalid, or the spouses will be given penance for a sin committed out of ignorance.
Who definitely cannot be a receiver?
Before choosing godparents for your baby, you need to know whom the church clearly prohibits from taking as godparents:
- the child’s blood parents;
- spouses;
- not baptized and atheists;
- people of other religions;
- monks;
- mentally retarded people;
- sectarians.
Choosing godparents is a very important point. And here you need to be guided primarily by the interests of the child, and not by your own. Often, best friends or “necessary” people are chosen as godparents, without really delving into how much the person belongs to the church.
If you want your child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, choose only believers who know prayers and regularly attend church services. If people do not visit the temple and believe, as they say from time to time, then great doubt arises in serious attitude to the sacrament and their duties.
It often happens that people's paths diverge, and the godfather cannot take part in raising the godson. But he is still responsible for this child, so the recipient must pray for his godson or goddaughter all his life.
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