select a question topic --------------- Family relationships Children and parents Love Friendship Sex, intimate life Health Appearance and beauty Interpersonal conflicts Internal conflict Crisis states Depression, apathy Fears, phobias, anxieties Stress, trauma Grief and loss Addictions and habits Choosing a profession, career The problem of the meaning of life Personal growth Motivation and success Relationships with a psychologist Another question
Good afternoon. I can't find a definition for the situation. I’ll just describe specific cases, maybe you can tell me how to communicate with such a person and why this happens. A person constantly denies obvious things. As an example: “You ignore questions for several days, this is rudeness.” - No, this is not rudeness.”, “Yesterday you promised to meet in the evening or call me.” - I didn’t say that. (And I know perfectly well when and what we agreed on ) - Why are you lying? - I’m not lying." It got to the point where the person spent a week proving to me that he didn’t call me at half past 4 in the morning and didn’t throw hysterics. I asked for a printout from the operator. He sent it to me in a modified form, I made my request to the operator, where everything was clearly written. When I showed it to him, he simply did not want to talk about this topic. These are just a few cases, these happen with enviable frequency, when you start talking, you hear answers like “I didn’t say that.”, “No, that’s not true,” “No, that didn’t happen, you’re lying.” This mental disorder or has the person simply become completely insolent and considers everyone around him more stupid?
Answers and advice from psychologists
Hello Tatiana! This behavior is called gaslighting and is a type of psychological abuse. The title comes from the film Gaslight, in which a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by changing the lighting in the house and convincing her that she is “imagining it.” The purpose of this behavior is to “bend” the victim, to convince him of his own inadequacy. It would be best to completely stop communicating with such a person.
Psychologist, psychologist-sexologist, online consultant
As a psychologist, psychologist-sexologist, I am open to help in such issues as: fear, anxiety, guilt, uncertainty, stress, neurosis, eating behavior, addiction, sex, choice and decision making, construction harmonious relations with yourself and others.
Personal meetings
Good afternoon, Tatyana. Constant denial can be a defensive reaction to avoid taking responsibility for your actions and avoid punishment. When a message is sent to him with specific demands and claims, defensive actions are automatically activated. The situations described are reminiscent of the relationship between a strict, controlling mother and a teenager who is not given the opportunity to explain his actions, for example, more soft shape: I was worried about you yesterday when I was expecting you, but you didn’t come. I was very sad, I felt bad.....If you had at least called me that you would not come, then I could go / do /.... And this worries me and upsets me in our relationship.. ...I would like the next time......
Direct questions: why, you......cause resistance..
Try to change your communication tactics as between adults who contribute to the relationship.
« Greatest tragedy life - to lose God and not miss Him"
(F. Norwood).
Although atheists claim not to believe in God, some Christians and all Muslims believe that at some point in their lives even committed atheists will accept His existence. The innate but persistently ignored sense of God awareness usually manifests itself in difficult moments. World War II quote: “There are no atheists in a fox hole.”
Undoubtedly, there are times - be it days of painful illness, a humiliating attack by criminals, or split seconds on the eve of dire consequences inevitable accident - when we understand how vulnerable a person is and has no control over fate. Isn’t it the Creator we turn to at such moments? These moments of despair should remind everyone, from the religious scientist to the ardent atheist, of man's dependence on a reality much greater than our insignificant existence. Greater in everything: in knowledge, strength, will...
In such bitter moments, when all human efforts are in vain, and nothing from the material world can help, to whom, if not to God, does a person instinctively appeal? In moments of testing, how many times do we turn to the Lord, each time promising to take the true path! But how many keep their word?
The greatest disaster for man will undoubtedly be the Day of Judgment, and the unfortunate will be the one who recognizes the existence of God only on this terrible day. The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, describing the appeal of the sufferers (“Man’s Lament”) writes:
“And the lips say: “God is compassionate”
Those who have never praised Him."
The thinking atheist, although full of skepticism, still fears Doomsday, the absence of which he is unable to prove. Therefore, just in case, he says:
“Oh Lord, if there is a Lord! Save my soul, if I have a soul” (Joseph Ernest Renan, “The Skeptic’s Prayer”).
Would a person lose anything if he turned to God with such a prayer? If an atheist decides to remain in unbelief, it will not get worse, but if with conversion a person comes to faith, as Thomas Jefferson said:
“If you find a reason to believe in God, the knowledge that you live under His supervision and He approves of your actions will provide an additional boost - if there is any future life, the hope of a happy existence will fuel the desire to earn it..."
If a person does not see God in the splendor of His creations, he should look again. As Francis Bacon once said: “I would rather believe all the fairy tales, the Talmud and the Koran, than that the universe has no mind.” He further writes: “The Lord never performed miracles to refute atheism, because His simple creations they are already refuting it.”
Think about it, even the smallest creations, simple for Him, are a miracle for us! Take, for example, a tiny spider. Does anyone really believe that such a sophisticated creature could have arisen from the “primordial soup”? This creation - a small miracle - can produce up to seven types of silk, incredibly thin but durable. Spider silk is stronger than steel. The spider produces different silks for different purposes: hunting, wrapping prey, creating a pouch for storing eggs, etc. And that's just small part the miracle of the spider.
And at the same time, man considers himself a higher creature. Just one minute of sincere reflection can prove to a person his insignificance. Looking at a beautiful building, we are imbued with respect for the architect, and admiring a sculpture, we think about the sculptor. But look at the sophistication of the creations around: from the smallest complexity nuclear particle to the unknown expanses of the Universe. Are you really getting nowhere? Surrounded by splendor, we humans cannot even create the wings of a mosquito! The whole world, the Universe, is in a state of amazing harmony, demonstrating the result of random coincidences that turned cosmic chaos into balanced perfection! Some call it a coincidence, others call it creation.
A matter of correct understanding
Most atheists focus on the incompatibility of the All-Loving God and the blatant injustice in the world. For believers, this is an expression of arrogance, because people, being part of creation, cannot know more than the Creator: what should and should not happen in the world, they are not able to understand the Supreme Plan of God.
Some may not be able to see the meaning in certain aspects of life, but misunderstanding should not destroy faith in God. The duty of man is not to question or deny the qualities of God or His existence, but to accept our position in this world and try to take advantage of what is given to us the best way. After all, if a person sometimes does not agree with the boss’s decision and does not understand his motives, this does not mean that the boss does not exist. The task of every employee is to do his job in order to earn money and advance in his career. Likewise, misunderstanding or rejection of God’s actions does not exclude His existence. People should humbly admit: unlike the boss, who can make mistakes, the Lord cannot make mistakes, He is always right, because He is perfect. Humanity must obediently bow its head before Him and acknowledge that our failure to understand His purpose is in no way a sign of His failure. He is the Lord, Sovereign and Creator, but we are not, He knows everything, but we do not, He follows His Divine plan, and we are only part of creation until the end of our days.
If the vicissitudes of fate plunge people into confusion and it is difficult for them to connect the Mercy of God with their difficult lives, it is important to try to convey the truth as gently as possible, showing goodwill. Realizing that the Lord knows best, a person calms down, and hope for the best arises in him. “Perhaps,” he thinks, “everything is not as bad as it seems at first glance. Maybe the oppressed in this life will enjoy the eternal bliss of Paradise, and misfortunes are destined for them only in the future. a short time stay on earth?
The Lord gave His most beloved creations confidence, guidance, revelation, and how many trials and difficulties they had to endure! In fact, any misfortunes of people pale in the face of the sufferings of the prophets. Therefore, although someone has to struggle with troubles, one should not lose hope, because the prophets were also deprived of worldly pleasure, but in return the Lord rewarded them with bliss in eternity. A person can also hope for the good fortune of those who showed patience in difficult times and held fast to their faith.
One should not blame a person if he expects punishment for the wicked in the eternal world, although now they can take full advantage of life. Remember the inhabitants of Hell. For example, Pharaoh. He lived in luxury, had unlimited power, and even dared to declare himself the supreme god. In any case, one can quite justifiably believe that now the Pharaoh is not happy with his new home, and thoughts of former luxury, expensive carpets, gourmet food, beautiful maids no longer please the soul.
Many of us have sad experiences of the unfortunate consequences of fun. Nobody wants a big wedding if it ends in divorce. romantic relationships, which will “reward” HIV, or a stormy party if it is interrupted by a bandit attack or a car accident... Is it possible to enjoy this life, knowing that then you can expect a 100% body burn? The palm of one hand represents 1% of the entire surface of the body, which means that a burn on the tip of a finger is less than a thousandth of the body. Still, don’t we forget about everything in the world, the significant and the unimportant, when we severely burn even the tip of our finger, the thousandth part? What if the fire engulfs your entire body and never lets go? Such torment is impossible to imagine! Few survivors of similar burns would agree. It is impossible to find words that would fully convey the pain and horror of such a fate. The unfortunate, doomed to suffer forever, will never be able to explain, and the lucky ones who escaped the Fire will never be able to understand what it is like to burn with the whole body for a long time, forever, when there will no longer be a single pleasant memory in the head of the moments with which a person condemned himself to such a painful punishment.
“They rejoice in worldly life, but worldly life compared to Last life“just a passing pleasure.” (Quran 13:26).
So, two points that deserve attention. Firstly, all people come into the world with an innate awareness of God. People may ignore this feeling, seeking to get maximum pleasure from life, but deep down, every person knows the Truth. Moreover, the Lord knows that we know. Only He can determine how far a person has gone in his stubbornness or how far he has progressed in submission to God.
Secondly, nothing comes easy. Even if a person does not agree with or understand the boss, he still needs to do his job in order to receive a reward. They don’t give you money just for being present at work. It is the same in life: a person must fulfill his duties, serve and worship the Lord if he hopes for His reward. This is not just the goal of life, but our job, our responsibility. According to Muslims, this is the duty of people and jinn. After all, the Lord said in the Koran:
"I created the jinn and humans only so that they would worship Me" (Quran 51:56).
People are constantly searching for the meaning of life. The position of religious people remains unchanged - people came into this world to serve and worship God. Every element of creation exists to support or test man. Of course, a person can shirk his responsibilities to God, but the bill will be presented anyway. What disappointment and disappointment awaits those who discover at the end of their lives that they are heavily in debt!
In conclusion, let us quote Francis Bacon: “Those who deny God destroy the noble essence of man, for the truth is that in body he is like a beast. If he is not like God in his spirit, then he is a primitive and low creature.” People are free to adhere to any opinion and support the theory of Stanley Miller and Harold Urey, but the bill will be presented to everyone without exception, we will have to answer for what is in each of us: for the soul and faith, the metaphysical basis that distinguishes man from animals.
And again, those who doubt that the soul exists can find a lot of excuses, but few will support them.
Tags:
All information on this site is published outside the framework of missionary activities and is intended exclusively for Muslims! The views and opinions published in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the site administration
At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles Ottoman Empire decided on the first modern history of humanity, the large-scale destruction of one people.
Historians recall Turkey, the legal successor of the Ottoman Empire, to its past, in which the Armenian genocide is a red stripe. Then the Turks mercilessly massacred entire villages. No one was spared - neither men, nor women, nor old people, nor children. But a hundred years have passed, and Turkish side denies the very fact of genocide...
Last December, Turkish Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu flew to the Azerbaijani capital, Baku, to meet with President Ilham Aliyev. Following the meeting, the Turkish guest made a statement that actually outlined a new vector in the confrontation with Russia and its ally, Armenia:
We discussed regional issues, led by the Nagorno-Karabakh problem. Turkey's position is open and specific: until all the occupied Azerbaijani lands, every single square centimeter, are returned, Turkey will continue to support Azerbaijan
At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles of the Ottoman Empire decided on the first large-scale destruction of one people in modern human history. The Young Turks made far-reaching plans to create a “Great Turan”. Ataturk dreamed of annexing Transcaucasia to his empire, North Caucasus, Crimea, Volga region, Central Asia. On the way to this goal ruling elite it was necessary to put an end to, first of all, the Armenian people, who resisted the aggressive plans. Also, with the help of genocide, the Turks solved another problem - economic. As a result of the genocide, much of the wealth of the Armenian people passed into the hands of the Turks.
The streets of the Armenian neighborhoods turned into such “cemeteries” after Ottoman soldiers came to raid them. Men were slaughtered or shot, women were raped and crucified on crosses. Orphaned children were driven into the desert. There they died of hunger and beatings.
crucified women
According to various sources, by 1915 the number of those killed among the Armenian population exceeded 600 thousand people. And similar persecutions continued for at least another 10 years.
In the video of the “100 Seconds” project, the famous Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi read an excerpt from the testimony of Misak Sedrakyan, a genocide survivor.
When the soldiers broke down our door, my mother rushed to our aid in horror. But the soldiers killed her before our eyes. Then my brother immediately climbed through the ventilation hole onto the roof. When I tried to do the same, the soldier wounded me by hitting me twice with his sword. And I fell down. Then one of them said: “This one is still young. Let's not kill him.” And they let me go. And they began to rob the house. I came out of hiding and saw my mother’s corpse lying on the threshold of our house. There were corpses all around - all over the village. I saw soldiers on the other side raping young women and forcibly taking girls away. I ran away in horror and hid in a pile of dry manure.
In total, 24 similar videos were shot for the 100th anniversary of the Armenian genocide. The texts for the filming were provided by the National Archives of Armenia. Each of the passages was read by people with social influence in the world - writers, musicians, actors and journalists. Ordinary residents of the Armenian Republic also made similar videos this year. For example, the girl Alvard Gevorgyan. She recorded on video the story of her great-grandfather, Gevorg Minasi Gevorgyan, who survived all the horrors of the Armenian genocide of 1915.
“The mother pushed him into the extinguished fireplace and covered him with a thick black grate so that he could not be seen. And at the same time she told him: “So that you don’t see or hear, don’t you dare leave here!” At that moment, Turkish soldiers burst into the house. In front of my great-grandfather, his sisters, all the women who were at home, were raped. Among them was his pregnant aunt, later pregnancy. Turkish soldiers began to place bets on what gender the child would be. When the bets were already made, they ripped open her stomach alive and took out the still living child. They put him on a bayonet that was on the gun and they ended up shooting him.”
In the early 20th century, many photographs were taken of orphans in the Ottoman Empire. Today they are kept in the Armenian Museum of Moscow. The photographs show very tiny boys and girls who became homeless due to the fact that all members of their families were destroyed. These kids were lucky, they didn’t end up in the so-called special Turkish steam rooms.
According to the testimony of French doctors, little Armenians were sent to mobile steam baths, in which they were then killed with superheated steam - that is, they were actually boiled alive.
Agree, it is impossible to forgive, much less forget, such things. This is why millions of Armenians around the world are seeking to have genocide officially recognized as a crime against humanity, and why relations between Armenia and Turkey remain extremely cold even a hundred years later.
True, today's Turkish government denies both the scale of the tragedy and the number of victims it suffered. At the same time, officials refer to the lack of archival evidence. And this is not surprising, because who wants to be known as a nation of murderers and rapists? That is why the Turkish government so carefully hides the terrible facts of genocide from the world community. For example, destroying documents, organizing “alternative” photo exhibitions on the topic of the Armenian genocide. But still, a lot of retouching own story The Turks can't do it.
Mehmed Talaat Pasha will forever remain in the history of Turkey as one of the leaders of the Young Turk Party “Unity and Progress”, and the perpetrator of the massacre of the Armenians. Before today His numerous correspondence with the governors of Turkish provinces has been preserved. In one of these messages to the mayor of the city of Alepo, Talaat gives detailed instructions on how the “Armenian question” should be resolved.
To Aleppo prefecture
“The right of Armenians to live and work in Turkey has been completely eliminated. The government, which takes full responsibility in this regard, has ordered not to leave a single child in the cradle. Let women and children be expelled without any reason, no matter who they are, even those who cannot go, and do not give the population any reason to defend themselves.
Site Team
The greatest tragedy of life is to lose God and not miss Him” (F. Norwood).
Although atheists claim not to believe in God, some Christians and all Muslims believe that at some point in their lives even committed atheists will accept His existence. The innate but persistently ignored sense of God awareness usually manifests itself in difficult moments. World War II quote: “There are no atheists in a fox hole.”
Undoubtedly, there are times - be it days of painful illness, a humiliating attack by criminals, or split seconds in anticipation of the terrible consequences of an inevitable accident - when we realize how vulnerable a person is and how much he has no control over his fate. Isn’t it the Creator we turn to at such moments? These moments of despair should remind everyone, from the religious scientist to the ardent atheist, of man's dependence on a reality much greater than our insignificant existence. Greater in everything: in knowledge, strength, will...
In such bitter moments, when all human efforts are in vain, and nothing from the material world can help, to whom, if not to God, does a person instinctively appeal? In moments of testing, how many times do we turn to the Lord, each time promising to take the true path! But how many keep their word?
The greatest disaster for man will undoubtedly be the Day of Judgment, and the unfortunate will be the one who recognizes the existence of God only on this terrible day. The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, describing the appeal of the sufferers (“Man’s Lament”) writes:
“And the lips say: “God is compassionate”
Those who have never praised Him."
The thinking atheist, although full of skepticism, still fears the Day of Judgment, the absence of which he cannot prove. Therefore, just in case, he says:
“Oh Lord, if there is a Lord! Save my soul, if I have a soul” (Joseph Ernest Renan, “The Skeptic’s Prayer”).
Would a person lose anything if he turned to God with such a prayer? If an atheist decides to remain in unbelief, it will not get worse, but if with conversion a person comes to faith, as Thomas Jefferson said:
“If you find a reason to believe in God, the knowledge that you live under His supervision and that He approves of your actions will serve as an additional impetus - if there is a future life, the hope of a happy existence will fuel the desire to deserve it...”
If a person does not see God in the splendor of His creations, he should look again. As Francis Bacon once said: “I would rather believe all the fairy tales, the Talmud and the Koran, than that the universe has no mind.” He further writes: “The Lord never performed miracles to refute atheism, because His simple works already refute it.”
Think about it, even the smallest creations, simple for Him, are a miracle for us! Take, for example, a tiny spider. Does anyone really believe that such a sophisticated creature could have arisen from the “primordial soup”? This creation - a small miracle - can produce up to seven types of silk, incredibly thin but durable. Spider silk is stronger than steel. The spider produces different silks for different purposes: hunting, wrapping prey, creating a pouch for storing eggs, etc. And this is only a small part of the spider's miracle.
And at the same time, man considers himself a higher creature. Just one minute of sincere reflection can prove to a person his insignificance. Looking at a beautiful building, we are imbued with respect for the architect, and admiring a sculpture, we think about the sculptor. But look at the sophistication of the creations around you: from the complexity of the smallest nuclear particle to the unknown expanses of the Universe. Are you really getting nowhere? Surrounded by splendor, we humans cannot even create the wings of a mosquito! The whole world, the Universe, is in a state of amazing harmony, demonstrating the result of random coincidences that turned cosmic chaos into balanced perfection! Some call it a coincidence, others call it creation.
The streets of the Armenian neighborhoods turned into such “cemeteries” after Ottoman soldiers came to raid them. Men were slaughtered or shot, women were raped and crucified on crosses. Orphaned children were driven into the desert. There they died of hunger and beatings.
crucified women
According to various sources, by 1915 the number of those killed among the Armenian population exceeded 600 thousand people. And similar persecutions continued for at least another 10 years.
In the video of the “100 Seconds” project, the famous Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi read an excerpt from the testimony of Misak Sedrakyan, a genocide survivor.
When the soldiers broke down our door, my mother rushed to our aid in horror. But the soldiers killed her before our eyes. Then my brother immediately climbed through the ventilation hole onto the roof. When I tried to do the same, the soldier wounded me by hitting me twice with his sword. And I fell down. Then one of them said: “This one is still young. Let's not kill him.” And they let me go. And they began to rob the house. I came out of hiding and saw my mother’s corpse lying on the threshold of our house. There were corpses all around – all over the village. I saw soldiers on the other side raping young women and forcibly taking girls away. I ran away in horror and hid in a pile of dry manure.
In total, 24 similar videos were shot for the 100th anniversary of the Armenian genocide. The texts for the filming were provided by the National Archives of Armenia. Each of the passages was read by people with social influence in the world - writers, musicians, actors and journalists. Ordinary residents of the Armenian Republic also made similar videos this year. For example, the girl Alvard Gevorgyan. She recorded on video the story of her great-grandfather, Gevorg Minasi Gevorgyan, who survived all the horrors of the Armenian genocide of 1915.
“The mother pushed him into the extinguished fireplace and covered him with a thick black grate so that he could not be seen. And at the same time she told him: “So that you don’t see or hear, don’t you dare leave here!” At that moment, Turkish soldiers burst into the house. In front of my great-grandfather, his sisters, all the women who were at home, were raped. Among them was his pregnant aunt, in the late stages of pregnancy. Turkish soldiers began to place bets on what gender the child would be. When the bets were already made, they ripped open her stomach alive and took out the still living child. They put him on a bayonet that was on the gun and they ended up shooting him.”
In the early 20th century, many photographs were taken of orphans in the Ottoman Empire. Today they are kept in the Armenian Museum of Moscow. For very tiny boys and girls who became homeless due to the fact that all members of their families were destroyed. These kids were lucky, they didn’t end up in the so-called special Turkish steam rooms.
According to the testimony of French doctors, little Armenians were sent to mobile steam baths, in which they were then killed with superheated steam - that is, they were actually boiled alive.
Agree, it is impossible to forgive, much less forget, such things. This is why millions of Armenians around the world are seeking to have genocide officially recognized as a crime against humanity, and why relations between Armenia and Turkey remain extremely cold even a hundred years later.
True, today's Turkish government denies both the scale of the tragedy and the number of victims it suffered. At the same time, officials refer to the lack of archival evidence. And this is not surprising, because who wants to be known as a nation of murderers and rapists? That is why the Turkish government so carefully hides the terrible facts of genocide from the world community. For example, destroying documents, organizing “alternative” photo exhibitions on the topic of the Armenian genocide. But still, the Turks are unable to greatly retouch their own history.
Mehmed Talaat Pasha will forever remain in the history of Turkey as one of the leaders of the Young Turk Party “Unity and Progress”, and the perpetrator of the massacre of the Armenians. His numerous correspondence with the governors of Turkish provinces has survived to this day. In one of these messages to the mayor of the city of Alepo, Talaat gives detailed instructions on how the “Armenian question” should be resolved.
To Aleppo prefecture
“The right of Armenians to live and work in Turkey has been completely eliminated. The government, which takes full responsibility in this regard, has ordered not to leave a single child in the cradle. Let women and children be expelled without any reason, no matter who they are, even those who cannot go, and do not give the population any reason to defend themselves.
1915 Minister of Internal Affairs Talaat
Loading...