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Good afternoon. I can't find a definition. I will describe just specific cases, maybe you can tell me how to communicate with such a person and why this happens. Man constantly denies the obvious. As an example: “You ignore questions for several days, this is rudeness. - No, this is not rudeness.”, “Yesterday you promised to meet in the evening or call on the phone. - I didn’t say that. (Moreover, I know perfectly well when and what we agreed on - Why are you lying? - I'm not lying. It got to the point that a person throughout the week proved to me that he did not call me at half past 4 in the morning and did not throw tantrums. I asked for a printout from the operator. He sent it to me in a modified form, I made my request to the operator, where everything was clearly written. When I showed it to him, he just didn't want to talk about it. These are just a few cases, these happen with enviable frequency, when you start talking, you hear answers like “I didn’t say that.”, “No, it’s not,” “No, it didn’t happen, you’re lying.” This mental disorder or is the person just completely insolent and considers everyone around him more stupid?
Answers and advice from psychologists
Hello, Tatyana! This behavior is called gaslighting and is a form of psychological abuse. The name comes from the film Gaslight ("Gaslight"), in which a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by changing the lighting in the house and convincing her that "it seemed to her." The purpose of such behavior is to "bend" the victim, to convince her of her own inadequacy. The best thing to do would be to completely stop communicating with such a person.
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Good afternoon, Tatyana. Constant denial can be a defensive reaction to take no responsibility for your actions and avoid punishment. When a message comes to him with specific demands and claims, defensive actions automatically turn on. The situations described are reminiscent of the relationship between a strict controlling mother and a teenager who is not given the opportunity to explain his act, for example, more soft form: I worried about you yesterday when I was waiting for you, but you did not come. I was very sad, I felt bad ..... If you even called me that you would not come, then I could go / do / .... And this worries me and upsets me in our relationship .. ...I would like the next time when......
Head-on questions: why, you ....... cause resistance ..
Try to change the tactics of communication as between adults who contribute to the relationship.
« The greatest tragedy life is to lose God and not miss Him"
(F.Norwood).
Although atheists claim not to believe in God, some Christians and all Muslims believe that at some point in their lives, even staunch atheists will acknowledge God's existence. An innate but stubbornly ignored sense of God-realization usually comes into play at difficult times. World War II quote: "There are no atheists in a fox hole."
Undoubtedly, there are times - be it days of painful illness, a humiliating attack by criminals, or fractions of seconds, in anticipation of terrible consequences inevitable accident - when we understand how vulnerable a person is and has no power over fate. Is it not to the Creator that we turn at such moments? These moments of despair should remind everyone, from the religious scientist to the ardent atheist, of the dependence of man on a reality much greater than our insignificant existence. Greater in everything: in knowledge, power, will...
In such bitter moments, when all human efforts are futile, and nothing from the material world can help, to whom, if not to God, does a person instinctively cry out? In moments of trial, how many times do we turn to the Lord, each time promising to take the true path! But how many keep their word?
The greatest disaster for man will undoubtedly be the Day of Judgment, and unfortunate will be the one who recognizes the existence of God only on this terrible day. The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, describing the conversion of sufferers (The Lament of Man) writes:
And the lips say: "God is compassionate"
Those who have never once praised Him."
The thinking atheist, though full of skepticism, still fears doomsday, the absence of which he cannot prove. So, just in case, he says:
“O Lord, if there is a Lord! Save my soul if I have a soul" (Joseph Ernest Renan "The Skeptic's Prayer").
Will a person lose something if he turns to God with such a prayer? If an atheist chooses to remain in unbelief, it won't get any worse, but if a person comes to faith with conversion, as Thomas Jefferson said:
“If you find a reason to believe in God, the knowledge that you live under His supervision and He approves of your actions will serve as an additional impetus - if there is future life, the hope of a happy existence will warm up the desire to deserve it ... "
If a person does not see God in the splendor of His creations, he should look again. As Francis Bacon once said: "I would rather believe in all the fairy tales, the Talmud and the Koran, than that the universe has no mind." He further writes: “God never performed miracles to disprove atheism because His simple creations already refute it.
Think, after all, even the smallest creations, simple for Him, are a miracle for us! Take, for example, a tiny spider. Does anyone really believe that such a sophisticated creature could have arisen from the "primordial soup"? This creature - a small miracle - can produce up to seven types of silk, incredibly thin, but durable. Spider silk is stronger than steel. The spider produces different silks for different purposes: hunting, wrapping prey, making an egg pouch, and so on. And that's just small part spider wonder.
And at the same time, a person considers himself a higher creation. Just one minute of sincere reflection can prove to a person his insignificance. Looking at a beautiful building, we are imbued with respect for the architect, and admiring the sculpture, we think of the sculptor. But look at the sophistication of the creations around: from the complexity of the smallest nuclear particle to the unexplored expanses of the universe. Are you getting nowhere? Surrounded by splendor, we humans cannot even create the wings of a mosquito! The whole world, the Universe are in a state of amazing harmony, demonstrating the result of random confluences that turned cosmic chaos into balanced perfection! Some call it a coincidence, some call it creation.
The question of correct understanding
Most atheists focus on the incompatibility of the All-Loving God and the gross injustice in the world. For believers, this is an expression of arrogance, because people, being part of creation, cannot know more than the Creator: what should and should not be in the world, they are not able to understand the Highest Plan of God.
Some may not be able to see the meaning in certain aspects of life, but misunderstanding should not destroy faith in God. Man's duty is not to question or deny the qualities of God or His existence, but to accept his position in this world and try to use what has been given to us. the best way. After all, if a person sometimes disagrees with the decision of the boss and does not understand his motives, this does not mean that the boss does not exist. The task of each employee is to do their job in order to earn and advance in the service. Also, misunderstanding or rejection of the acts of God does not exclude His existence. People should humbly admit that unlike the boss, who can make mistakes, the Lord cannot make mistakes, He is always right, because He is perfect. Humanity must obediently bow its head before Him and acknowledge that our failure to understand His purpose is by no means a sign of His error. He is the Lord, the Sovereign and the Creator, and we are not, He knows everything, but we do not, He follows His Divine plan, and we are only a part of creation until the end of our days.
If the vicissitudes of life plunge people into confusion and it is difficult for them to connect the Mercy of God with their hard life, it is important to try to convey the truth as gently as possible, showing goodwill. Realizing that the Lord knows better, a person calms down, and hope for the best arises in him. “Maybe,” he thinks, “it's not as bad as it seems at first glance. Perhaps the bliss of Paradise awaits the oppressed in this life, and misfortunes are prepared for them only on a short time stay on earth?
The Lord gave confidence, guidance, revelation to His most beloved creations, and how many trials and difficulties they had to endure in this! In fact, any misfortune of people pales in the face of the suffering of the prophets. Therefore, although someone has to deal with troubles, one should not lose hope, because the prophets were also deprived of worldly pleasure, but in return the Lord rewarded them with bliss in eternity. Also, a person can hope for a good lot for those who showed patience in a difficult hour and held fast to their faith.
You should not blame a person if he is waiting for the punishment of the wicked in the eternal world, although now they can take from life in full. Remember the inhabitants of Hell. For example, Pharaoh. He lived in luxury, possessed unlimited power, even dared to declare himself the supreme god. In any case, it is quite justified to believe that now the Pharaoh is not satisfied with his new home, and thoughts about former luxury, expensive carpets, delicious food, beautiful maids no longer please the soul.
Many of us have the sad experience of the unfortunate consequences of having fun. Nobody wants a big wedding if it ends in divorce romantic relationship who will “reward” HIV, or a stormy party if it is interrupted by an attack by bandits or a car accident ... How can you enjoy this life, knowing that then you can expect a 100% body burn? The palm of one hand represents 1% of the entire surface of the body, which means that a fingertip burn is less than a thousandth of the body. Still, don't we forget about everything in the world, about significant and unimportant, when we burn even the tip of a finger, a thousandth of it, badly? And if the fire engulfs the whole body and never lets go? Such pain is unimaginable! Few survivors of such burns would agree. It is impossible to find those words that would fully convey the pain and horror of such a fate. The unfortunate, doomed to suffer forever, will never be able to explain, and the lucky ones who escaped the Fire will never be able to understand what it is like to burn with your whole body for a long time, forever, when not a single pleasant memory of the moments that a person doomed himself to such a painful punishment.
“They rejoice in worldly life, but worldly life, compared to Last life"Just a passing pleasure" (Quran 13:26).
So, two points that deserve attention. First, all people come into the world with an innate realization of God. People may ignore this feeling, striving to get the maximum pleasure from life, but in the depths of their souls, every person knows the Truth. Moreover, the Lord knows that we know. Only He can determine how far a person has gone in his stubbornness or how far he has advanced in submission to God.
Second, nothing comes easy. Even if a person does not agree with the boss or does not understand him, he still needs to do his job in order to receive a reward. They just don't give money for being at work. It is the same in life: a person must fulfill his duties, serve and worship the Lord if he hopes for His reward. This is not just the goal of life, but our work, duty. According to Muslims, this is the duty of people and jinn. For the Lord said in the Quran:
“I created jinn and humans only so that they worship Me” (Quran 51:56).
People are constantly looking for the meaning of life. The position of religious people remains unchanged - people came into this world to serve and worship God. Every element of creation exists to support man in this or to test him. Of course, a person can evade his duties to God, but the bill will be presented anyway. What disappointment and annoyance awaits the one who, at the end of his life, discovers that he is heavily indebted!
In conclusion, let us quote Francis Bacon: “Those who deny God destroy the noble essence of man, for the truth is that in body he looks like a beast. If he does not resemble God in his spirit, then he is a primitive and base creature.” People are free to hold any opinion and support the theory of Stanley Miller and Harold Urey, but the account will be presented to everyone without exception, we will have to answer for what is in each of us: for the soul and faith, the metaphysical basis that distinguishes man from animal.
And again, those who doubt that there is a soul can find a lot of excuses for themselves, but few will support them.
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At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles Ottoman Empire decided on the first modern history humanity is a large-scale destruction of one people.
Historians recall Turkey, the successor of the Ottoman Empire, its past, in which the Armenian genocide runs like a red stripe. Then the Turks mercilessly slaughtered entire villages. No one was spared - neither men, nor women, nor the elderly, nor children. But a hundred years have passed Turkish side denies the fact of genocide...
Last December, Turkish Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu flew to the Azerbaijani capital, Baku, to meet with President Ilham Aliyev. At the end of the meeting, the Turkish guest made a statement, which actually marked a new vector in the confrontation with Russia and its ally, Armenia:
We discussed regional issues led by the Nagorno-Karabakh problem. Turkey's position is open and concrete: until all the occupied Azerbaijani lands, every single square centimeter, are returned, Turkey will continue to support Azerbaijan
At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles of the Ottoman Empire decided on the first large-scale destruction of one people in the modern history of mankind. The Young Turks made far-reaching plans for the creation of the "Big Turan". Ataturk dreamed of annexing Transcaucasia to his empire, North Caucasus, Crimea, Volga region, Central Asia. On the way to this goal ruling elite it was necessary to put an end, first of all, to the Armenian people, who opposed the plans of conquest. Also, with the help of the genocide, the Turks solved another problem - the economic one. As a result of the genocide, many of the wealth of the Armenian people passed into the hands of the Turks.
The streets of the Armenian quarters turned into such "cemeteries" after the Ottoman soldiers came to them with raids. Men were slaughtered or shot, women were raped and crucified on crosses. Orphaned children were driven into the desert. There they died of starvation and beatings.
crucified women
According to various sources, by 1915 the number of those killed among the Armenian population exceeded 600 thousand people. And such persecution continued for at least another 10 years.
In the video of the 100 Seconds project, the famous Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi read out an excerpt from the testimony of Misak Sedrakyan, a survivor of the genocide.
When the soldiers broke down our door, my mother rushed to our aid in horror. But the soldiers killed her before our eyes. Then my brother immediately climbed through the vent, onto the roof. When I tried to do the same, the soldier wounded me by hitting me twice with his sword. And I fell down. Then one of them said: "This one is still young. Let's not kill him." And they let me go. And they started to rob the house. I got out of hiding and saw my mother's corpse lying on the threshold of our house. There were corpses all around - all over the village. On the other side, I saw soldiers raping young women and forcibly taking girls away. I ran away in horror and hid in a pile of dry manure.
In total, 24 such videos were shot on the occasion of the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide. The texts for the filming were provided by the National Archives of Armenia. Each of the passages was read by people with public influence in the world - writers, musicians, actors and journalists. Similar videos were made this year by ordinary residents of the Armenian Republic. For example, the girl Alvard Gevorgyan. She recorded on video the story of her great-grandfather, Gevorg Minasi Gevorgyan, who survived all the horrors of the Armenian genocide in 1915.
“Mother pushed him into an extinct fireplace, and covered him with a black dense grate - so that he could not be seen. And at the same time, she told him: “So that you do not see or hear, do not dare to leave here!”. At that moment, Turkish soldiers burst into the house. In front of my great-grandfather, his sisters were raped, all the women who were at home. Among them was his pregnant aunt, later dates pregnancy. Turkish soldiers began to place bets on what gender the baby would be. When the bets were already made, they cut open her stomach alive, and took out a still living child. They put it on a bayonet that was on a gun, and in the end they shot him.”
In the early 20th century, many photographs of orphans were taken in the Ottoman Empire. Today they are kept in the Armenian Museum in Moscow. The photographs show very tiny boys and girls who became homeless due to the fact that all members of their families were destroyed. These kids are still lucky, they did not get into the so-called special Turkish steam rooms.
According to French doctors, little Armenians were sent to mobile steam baths, in which they were then killed with superheated steam - that is, they were actually boiled alive.
Agree, it is impossible to forgive, and even more so to forget such things. That is why millions of Armenians around the world are striving for the genocide to be officially recognized as a crime against humanity, and relations between Armenia and Turkey remain extremely cold even a hundred years later.
True, today's Turkish government denies both the scale of the tragedy and the number of victims suffered in it. At the same time, officials refer to the lack of archival evidence. And this is not surprising, because who wants to be known as a nation of murderers and rapists? That is why the Turkish government so carefully hides the terrible facts of the genocide from the world community. For example, destroying documents, organizing "alternative" photo exhibitions on the theme of the Armenian genocide. But still, strongly retouched own history the Turks fail.
Mehmed Talaat Pasha will forever remain in the history of Turkey as one of the leaders of the Young Turk Party "Unity and Progress", and the perpetrator of the massacre of Armenians. Before today his numerous correspondence with the governors of the Turkish provinces has been preserved. In one of these messages to the mayor of the city of Alepo, Talaat gives detailed instructions on how to solve the “Armenian issue”.
To Aleppo Prefecture
"The right of Armenians to live and work in Turkey has been completely eliminated. The government, which assumes all responsibility in this regard, has ordered not to leave a single child in the cradle. Let women and children be expelled without any reason, whoever they may be, even those who can't walk in. And don't give the population any reason to defend themselves.
site team
The greatest tragedy of life is to lose God and not miss Him” (F. Norwood).
Although atheists claim not to believe in God, some Christians and all Muslims believe that at some point in their lives, even staunch atheists will acknowledge God's existence. An innate but stubbornly ignored sense of God-realization usually comes into play at difficult times. World War II quote: "There are no atheists in a fox hole."
Undoubtedly, there are times - be it days of painful illness, a humiliating attack by criminals, or fractions of seconds, in anticipation of the terrible consequences of an imminent accident - when we realize how vulnerable and powerless a person is over fate. Is it not to the Creator that we turn at such moments? These moments of despair should remind everyone, from the religious scientist to the ardent atheist, of the dependence of man on a reality much greater than our insignificant existence. Greater in everything: in knowledge, power, will...
In such bitter moments, when all human efforts are futile, and nothing from the material world can help, to whom, if not to God, does a person instinctively cry out? In moments of trial, how many times do we turn to the Lord, each time promising to take the true path! But how many keep their word?
The greatest disaster for man will undoubtedly be the Day of Judgment, and unfortunate will be the one who recognizes the existence of God only on this terrible day. The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, describing the conversion of sufferers (The Lament of Man) writes:
And the lips say: "God is compassionate"
Those who have never once praised Him."
The thinking atheist, though full of skepticism, still fears the Day of Judgment, the absence of which he cannot prove. So, just in case, he says:
“O Lord, if there is a Lord! Save my soul if I have a soul" (Joseph Ernest Renan "The Skeptic's Prayer").
Will a person lose something if he turns to God with such a prayer? If an atheist chooses to remain in unbelief, it won't get any worse, but if a person comes to faith with conversion, as Thomas Jefferson said:
“If you find a reason to believe in God, the realization that you live under His supervision and He approves of your actions will serve as an additional impetus - if there is a future life, the hope of a happy existence will fuel the desire to deserve it ...”
If a person does not see God in the splendor of His creations, he should look again. As Francis Bacon once said: "I would rather believe in all the fairy tales, the Talmud and the Koran, than that the universe has no mind." He further writes, "God never performed miracles to disprove atheism, because His mere creations already disprove it."
Think, after all, even the smallest creations, simple for Him, are a miracle for us! Take, for example, a tiny spider. Does anyone really believe that such a sophisticated creature could have arisen from the "primordial soup"? This creature - a small miracle - can produce up to seven types of silk, incredibly thin, but durable. Spider silk is stronger than steel. The spider produces different silks for different purposes: hunting, wrapping prey, making an egg pouch, and so on. And this is only a small part of the miracle of the spider.
And at the same time, a person considers himself a higher creation. Just one minute of sincere reflection can prove to a person his insignificance. Looking at a beautiful building, we are imbued with respect for the architect, and admiring the sculpture, we think of the sculptor. But look at the sophistication of the creations around: from the complexity of the smallest nuclear particle to the unexplored expanses of the universe. Are you getting nowhere? Surrounded by splendor, we humans cannot even create the wings of a mosquito! The whole world, the Universe are in a state of amazing harmony, demonstrating the result of random confluences that turned cosmic chaos into balanced perfection! Someone calls it a coincidence, someone - creation.
The streets of the Armenian quarters turned into such "cemeteries" after the Ottoman soldiers came to them with raids. Men were slaughtered or shot, women were raped and crucified on crosses. Orphaned children were driven into the desert. There they died of starvation and beatings.
crucified women
According to various sources, by 1915 the number of those killed among the Armenian population exceeded 600 thousand people. And such persecution continued for at least another 10 years.
In the video of the 100 Seconds project, the famous Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi read out an excerpt from the testimony of Misak Sedrakyan, a survivor of the genocide.
When the soldiers broke down our door, my mother rushed to our aid in horror. But the soldiers killed her before our eyes. Then my brother immediately climbed through the vent, onto the roof. When I tried to do the same, the soldier wounded me by hitting me twice with his sword. And I fell down. Then one of them said: "This one is still young. Let's not kill him." And they let me go. And they started to rob the house. I got out of hiding and saw my mother's corpse lying on the threshold of our house. There were corpses all around, all over the village. On the other side, I saw soldiers raping young women and forcibly taking girls away. I ran away in horror and hid in a pile of dry manure.
In total, 24 such videos were shot on the occasion of the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide. The texts for the filming were provided by the National Archives of Armenia. Each of the passages was read by people with social influence in the world - writers, musicians, actors and journalists. Similar videos were made this year by ordinary residents of the Armenian Republic. For example, the girl Alvard Gevorgyan. She recorded on video the story of her great-grandfather, Gevorg Minasi Gevorgyan, who survived all the horrors of the Armenian genocide in 1915.
“Mother pushed him into an extinct fireplace, and covered him with a black dense grate - so that he could not be seen. And at the same time, she told him: “So that you do not see or hear, do not dare to leave here!”. At that moment, Turkish soldiers burst into the house. In front of my great-grandfather, his sisters were raped, all the women who were at home. Among them was his pregnant aunt, in late pregnancy. Turkish soldiers began to place bets on what gender the baby would be. When the bets were already made, they cut open her stomach alive, and took out a still living child. They put it on a bayonet that was on a gun, and in the end they shot him.”
In the early 20th century, many photographs of orphans were taken in the Ottoman Empire. Today they are kept in the Armenian Museum in Moscow. On very tiny boys and girls who became homeless due to the fact that all members of their families were destroyed. These kids are still lucky, they did not get into the so-called special Turkish steam rooms.
According to the testimony of French doctors, little Armenians were sent to mobile steam baths, in which they were then killed with superheated steam - that is, they were actually boiled alive.
Agree, it is impossible to forgive, and even more so to forget such things. That is why millions of Armenians around the world are striving for the genocide to be officially recognized as a crime against humanity, and relations between Armenia and Turkey remain extremely cold even a hundred years later.
True, today's Turkish government denies both the scale of the tragedy and the number of victims suffered in it. At the same time, officials refer to the lack of archival evidence. And this is not surprising, because who wants to be known as a nation of murderers and rapists? That is why the Turkish government so carefully hides the terrible facts of the genocide from the world community. For example, destroying documents, organizing "alternative" photo exhibitions on the theme of the Armenian genocide. But still, the Turks fail to strongly retouch their own history.
Mehmed Talaat Pasha will forever remain in the history of Turkey as one of the leaders of the Young Turk Party "Unity and Progress", and the perpetrator of the massacre of Armenians. Until today, his numerous correspondence with the governors of the Turkish provinces has been preserved. In one of these messages to the mayor of the city of Alepo, Talaat gives detailed instructions on how to solve the “Armenian issue”.
To Aleppo Prefecture
"The right of Armenians to live and work in Turkey has been completely eliminated. The government, which assumes all responsibility in this regard, has ordered not to leave a single child in the cradle. Let women and children be expelled without any reason, whoever they may be, even those who can't walk in. And don't give the population any reason to defend themselves.
1915 Interior Minister Talaat
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