“As a result of constant overwork, emotional overload and lack of rest, I have already experienced mental devastation. A little more - and the point of no return will come. When the only way out there will be a departure from the profession." District doctor Anna Zemlyanukhina - about why she can no longer work in state clinic.
I wanted to write this post later. In the meantime, forget about it and enjoy your vacation. But circumstances are different. Rumors, speculation... I won’t be able to rest peacefully, watching from the sidelines as they married me without me.
So. Why did I decide to leave public medicine?
A short introduction. How I became a doctor.
I don't come from a family of doctors. I didn’t bandage dolls or give them injections when I was a child. But for as long as I can remember, namely from the age of 3, I wanted to be a doctor. And I was driven by the desire to help others.
Then I couldn’t even imagine myself as anyone other than a doctor. Only the specialties changed; sometimes I imagined myself as an ophthalmologist, sometimes a neurologist.
Many teachers and acquaintances said that it was difficult to enter medical school and suggested that I consider other professions. By the eleventh grade, my mother also joined them. But it didn’t stop me from realizing my dream. And she even paid me training courses in two medical universities at once. For which I am still very grateful to my mother!
I didn’t expect to enroll right away, and decided that I would continue to enroll until I did, even if it took several years. And I have a lot of persistence.
The first exam Medical Faculty I failed the second med - written chemistry. But I was lucky, that year the Moscow Faculty opened - the exams were oral, and I passed.
The Moscow faculty trained therapists for the clinic. And by the 5th year I realized that this was fate. This is exactly what I want to be as a local therapist. I was interested in everything; I didn’t want to pursue any one specialty. I wanted to guide the patient from start to finish, adjust the treatment, see the dynamics and results.
It has now been 13 years since I completed my internship. And there was not a single moment in my life when I regretted my choice of profession. I don’t regret it even now. Local doctor, family doctor (call it what you want) – that’s mine. And this is not just my opinion. This is also the opinion of colleagues and patients. At least most of them. No one will say that I'm bad outpatient cards, or inattentive to patients. And the recent award as one of the 10 best local therapists in Moscow in 2017 on Active Citizen is proof of this. For which I am very grateful to my patients. This means that my work as a local doctor was not in vain.
So why, despite all this, am I leaving government medicine? Am I going for a promotion? No. On new job will the salary be higher? No. Less.
But I can't stay. It took me six months to reach this decision. And I can’t say that it was easy for me. I got used to my patients, my beloved district nurse, to my area, to my colleagues, even to the stupid EMIAS and my cards. Over the years, many of my patients and colleagues have become practically family to me.
However, everything has a certain limit. And there are objective reasons why I can no longer work in a public clinic. And this is by no means low salary(doctors' salaries general practice now worthy), or an inconvenient work schedule for me. But I simply don’t see myself as a hospital doctor. This is a completely different job that does not involve dynamic monitoring of the patient.
I will name the reasons as they are, in order of importance:
1. In conditions of a 15-minute appointment without a nurse (the Moscow polyclinic standard, introduced in 2015, took nurses beyond the reception area, now nurses essentially perform the functions of administrators), combining several specialists at once (as a result of the “optimization” of 2014-2015, many specialists were reduced), in most cases, filling out a ton of documentation alone, both electronic and paper, substantiating it in the card, and having each sneeze (from blood biochemistry to ultrasound) signed by the manager - it is impossible to work efficiently so that it is not to the detriment own health and family. And family cannot come last for a woman.
I'm tired of working 10-11 hours a day and doing homework with my child at 5 in the morning.
Many health care managers will say that the general practitioner in many countries only has 10 minutes per patient, and nothing. But this is deceit. They take on the lion's share of the work there. nurses. This includes partly an examination, ordering tests, and recommendations on lifestyle and nutrition. In many countries, calling and recording are carried out by a secretary. Now our doctor does everything himself, and examines, and fills out all the documentation, including test forms, and the doctor signs up for all tests, wasting precious minutes of time.
Also, doctors in other countries have time for documents. The lack of time for other work in the working day of our doctors provokes overtime. Many documents are completed outside of reception personal time. Because This is physically impossible to do during a 15-minute appointment. It takes about 40 minutes to fill out a disability certificate. MRI – 20 minutes. Referrals and discharges to other health care facilities – 15 minutes. But no one has yet canceled medical examinations, site passports, etc.
Patients often come with several problems and everything needs to be solved in one visit - again, it’s impossible to do it in 15 minutes.
In official letters, when asked about 15 minutes for an appointment, the DZM replies that the doctor can spend as much time on the appointment as the situation requires. of this patient. However, in practice, fines are imposed for patients waiting in the corridor for more than 20 minutes.
How can you spend more than 15 minutes on a patient, but not have others waiting in the hallway, with a full appointment for every 15 minutes? If the record is not complete, there is a fine for failure to fulfill the plan.
Considering the above, there are two options for the development of events:
– If you stay, you will worsen the quality of work (creating the appearance of medicine for the poor, and this is exactly what the current health care organizers need),
– Continue to work efficiently and work for 2-3 hours every day.
Neither of these options suits me.
As a result of constant overwork, emotional overload and lack of rest, I have already experienced mental devastation. Nothing makes me happy, I have neither the strength nor the desire to do anything at home, I went to work every day for the last few months with disgust and looked forward to the end of the working day. A little more and the point of no return will come. When the only option is to leave the profession.
But I don't want that. This is my profession. Favorite profession.
2. There is no opportunity to grow professionally in a 15-minute appointment:
– existing knowledge does not fit into existing conditions,
– overwork does not leave time for self-training.
Please do not confuse in this case professional growth with career. It's not the same thing. Career in medicine it is administrative work. And I'm interested in medical.
3. It may not be nice to say this, but I'm tired of doing the work for some of my colleagues. Someone goes to smoke 20 times per session, but the cards are empty, and the result of the session is zero. And my appointment was filled 2 weeks in advance, and the entire 9-hour appointment proceeded without a single break. And then - filling out the documentation. Almost every patient from someone else’s site - Blank sheet. It is necessary to collect anamnesis, describe the underlying disease, background, concomitant ones, understand examinations, treatment, give recommendations on lifestyle and nutrition, and treatment. And this despite the fact that the patient has already visited his local physician or several doctors several times this year.
4. Patients also made some contribution to my decision to leave. For two years, appointments with general practitioners worked in the “all to all” mode – i.e. patients could choose who to go to and make an appointment with any doctor.
The result of this was the loss of the local principle and uneven workload of doctors. Patients from my area could not get to me, because... Half of the admissions were patients from other areas. At some point, there were so many patients that I couldn’t even remember their faces, let alone their diagnoses and treatments. And I’m used to remembering all this. It was then that my examination protocols in the electronic card became the prosthesis of my memory. And that’s why I started filling out the cards as carefully as possible. Because only from them could I remember information about the patients.
When people came to congratulate me on March 8th this year, and I couldn’t remember who it was, I realized that that was it, this was the end.
Recently, the registration was returned according to the precinct principle. But patients from other sites continued to sign up, persuading or deceiving administrators, and wrote letters to the Health Department saying they didn’t want to be assigned to me. Yes, according to Federal Law 323, the patient has the right to choose a doctor. But with the consent of the doctor. I can understand patients. But they could not understand that one doctor cannot work for three. Thus adding fuel to the fire of my burnout.
5. I'm tired of hypocrisy. Guides. DZM. Some colleagues. Avoiding answers aside. Lack of answers in replies. Ignoring problems and replacing solutions to problems with a picture of fake stability and well-being.
I can understand. I can understand a lot. Because there is an explanation for this.
But no, sorry, I can’t accept it. And I don’t believe that it can’t be otherwise.
I think what has been said is enough to understand the decision I made.
Thanks to everyone who was with me and supported me! This is not the end. This is the beginning. The beginning of a new round of development. I believe that this is exactly what will happen!
Have you ever wondered why, having received a worthy profession, a person suddenly changes it? Some leave on their own, others due to circumstances...
Doctor who repairs refrigerators
A mutual friend introduced us to Oleg Kovalev. He introduced himself as a good refrigerator repairman. A man about 30 years old stood in front of me short hair and strong physique. For some reason, the thought immediately arose in my head: “He looks like a doctor.” My intuition did not let me down. It turned out that Oleg really
trained as a doctor, graduated from Lugansk medical University, specialization - therapy. After working as a local general practitioner for a year and not being able to stand it... miserable existence After becoming a doctor, he retrained as a refrigerator repairman. Is it really possible that we became disillusioned so quickly, who will treat us through
five years and is there a way out of the impasse in which Ukrainian healthcare is located? Let's try to look at medicine from the inside: through the eyes with which a doctor looks at it.
Oleg, six years of study at the institute and complete retraining as a refrigerator repairman. Higher education- “down the drain.” No pity?
No, I don't mind. Higher education provides a certain level of thinking. Maybe thanks to him I decided to make such drastic changes in my life.
- Why did you leave medicine?
After college, I worked at the Central City Hospital clinic for only one year. With such wages and such an attitude towards the doctor on the part of “rich” patients, who sometimes don’t care, as the doctor believes, longer time I wasn't enough. Although, of course, it was the salary that was decisive. I realized that in such working conditions it doesn’t take long to develop neurosis or start filming
alcohol stress. Every person wants to find best app for your own strength and get a decent return.
They say that medicine is a calling and only real doctors remain in medicine today, those who really cannot live without it. So you don't have it?
I still like medicine. I can’t talk about my vocation, but I studied at the institute on a budget and did well. There is, of course, a category of doctors who really cannot live without medicine, and it is empty without them, but there are only a few of them. Most doctors are “sitting” on pennies because they are afraid of sudden changes and the upcoming period of uncertainty.
- But there are so many examples where doctors have a good income in medicine. Of course, not official...
How many of these “prosperous” doctors are there? And how many years do you need to live in poverty, gaining experience, which then, perhaps, will return a hundredfold, or maybe not. Sometimes they say that doctors often take bribes. They take it. But they are not worn often enough to provide a decent living for a doctor. It just seems like this is a massive phenomenon.
Who is to blame for the fact that doctors receive salaries 4-5 times less than they should? Can you suggest a real way out of this situation?
There is no point in blaming the state. Forcing the government to print money and achieve higher wages while guaranteeing price increases is not the answer. Today, only the population can help healthcare. For example, when I worked as a local doctor, there were 2,350 adults in my area. If each of them transferred 1 UAH. at some charitable foundation in the name of your doctor, then this money would be enough for a decent salary, and for the purchase of equipment, and for a new medical
literature for advanced training. Bribes would be useless, and the doctor would be afraid of losing workplace. After all, medicine has long ceased to be free. And thus, the costs are minimal (what is 1 UAH today?) and a decent level of medical care.
- What advice can you give to those young people who want to enter medical school?
Basically, parents influence the final decision in choosing a profession. My grandmother is a nurse, my mother is a nurse. Of course they wanted me to become a doctor. It should not be. It is necessary that a young person, having made a preliminary choice of a future profession, has the opportunity to look at it from the inside. I would work, for example, as an orderly in a hospital. I found out
how much a novice doctor earns was compared with the required level of income. If I had ever done this, then medicine would have become a closed topic for me. And since 18 years is a period of “rose-colored glasses,” parents should give their child a real idea of the profession. Maybe someone will already understand then that
medicine is his calling, and someone will decide to change their choice.
You have two sons growing up. Will you influence their career choice?
My eldest son is five years old, my youngest is two. Therefore, it is too early to think about choosing a profession. But I know one thing for sure: at school, instead of the classics, children should be given Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich.” 16 laws of success." I would recommend reading this book not only to children, but also to parents. Although, the sooner it gets into your hands, the better.
Oleg, do you have a dream?
There was a time when you could proudly say: “I achieved everything myself.” Now is the time when parents must provide their children with reliable support under their feet. That's why I'm not a doctor, but a refrigerator repairman. Now, oddly enough, I have the prospect of growth, material well-being in the family, the real outlines of the future of my children appeared. I want to give my children a decent education. For example, at the Kharkov Law Academy. To
There was no shame in hanging the diploma on the wall in a frame. I would like the children to be guaranteed to have a separate living space and means of transportation. After all, all this, by and large, is needed not at 50 years old, when you have earned it all and you no longer have the strength to rejoice, but at 20, when life is so wonderful!
Many times we have heard from our doctors that in five to ten years there will be no one to treat people. How to revive the prestige of the profession?
But the prestige of the medical profession never disappeared. Still studying in medical universities costs a lot of money, which means there is a demand for education. It is important to reform healthcare at this stage when people still want to be doctors.
opinion
Drunkenness of doctors. There are no excuses, there are reasons
Publications in city newspapers about the tragic death of an 80-year-old woman as a result of an accident caused a great public outcry among doctors and city residents. Three hours surgical treatment And intensive care were not successful then: the patient died. Some newspapers then accused
traumatologist, who had a mild alcohol intoxication. There is no excuse for doctors being drunk, but there are reasons. Here’s what Alexander Minaev, an ENT doctor with 27 years of experience, thinks about this:
Knowing this doctor from my joint studies at the medical university, I can only sympathize with him in this situation. Vladimir Yalovega is a workaholic, a professional, but he was fired under the article. Neither I nor you want something like this to happen again.
situations, but as long as society turns to medicine not with its face, but with a different place, such cases will be repeated.
Ambulance, traumatology, surgery, gynecology, cardiology are the front flank of our medicine. This is constant stress, human pain, suffering, death. At times, you are no longer able to influence the course of events, and then, with pain in your heart, you run through the last hours of your patient’s life, analyze: what have I not done yet to keep this person alive. You pick up a book and read it for the hundredth time... Why do I need such a fate? Why did I even become
doctor?
This state usually lasts until the next one arrives. severe patient, or someone who has already recovered will come to thank you with a bottle of fake cognac and a box of chocolates. What should the doctor do: feed the children cognac or drink it himself and hand over the bottles? Yes, you can’t drink at work, but you, our patients, are to blame for this. Many of my colleagues would prefer the amount you spent on a gift in the form of cash. By the way, in most cases this money does not go into the doctor’s pocket, but to purchase equipment for the office or instruments for operations. With our salaries (the average salary in medicine is 84.5% of the subsistence level) and healthcare financing (44.5% of the need), we are happy
every penny. But we are also not pleased to be content with handouts...
So, first, it is necessary to recognize that such funding cannot ensure the implementation of the provisions of the Constitution on guaranteed free medical care. Secondly, do not be afraid to openly tell people that they themselves must provide the missing medicine. Third - allow medical institutions and for the doctors themselves to earn money. To do this, you need to clearly separate the concepts of “medical care” and “medical service”. I am not a supporter of the wholesale introduction of paid medicine, but I believe that free medicine should only be for those who really need it. Fourth, and most importantly, change the doctor’s thinking. So that when you appear in the office
The patient’s first thought was not “what to take from you,” but “how to help you.” To do this you need to increase wages doctor and make it dependent on the quality of work. Is it really possible to only punish doctors without thinking about the reasons for their misconduct?
"This day came! I left medicine. I sit and think, why did everything happen this way? Years of study, practice, sleepless nights, was all this really in vain?
I worked as a paramedic in the ambulance for 5 years. With each passing year, my enthusiasm for work became less and less due to working conditions and pay.
What is ambulance work?
This is constant contact with dangerous infections. This means constant hypothermia and sleepless nights. And also in 70% of cases these are street calls to homeless people, drunks and brothels. Constant smell blood, urine, vomit, etc.
Once, at the beginning of my work as an ambulance, I met my classmate. We got to talking, she told me that she works in a wonderful office in the city center, as an assistant manager. Studying English language, the costs of which are covered by the company. The salary is good, enough for a new wardrobe and for a vacation abroad. She then asked how I was doing and where I worked. I proudly answered that I work in an ambulance and save people’s lives (at that time I believed in this). She asked with a little disdain: “Are you picking up homeless people and drunks from the street? Doesn’t that disgust you?”
Honestly, I was even offended by her then. Well, in the end, not only homeless people, about 20% are calls to apartments, and about 5% are road accidents. Let me clarify that these are purely my statistics, based on my work experience, perhaps from other ambulance workers this statistic a little different.
What happened next?
As time passed, I began to notice that nothing was changing in medicine. Salaries are not increasing, and working conditions are only getting worse. In addition, sleepless nights and constant hypothermia began to leave a negative imprint on my body.
For the last year, I went to work like it was hard labor. I went to the call alone because there was a shortage of staff. Constant stress, because you never know what awaits you on the next call and whether you will return from this call at all. There were cases of attacks on doctors at every substation. Has anyone paid compensation for this? Of course not!
Are we just expendable?
I get the impression that doctors and paramedics who work in ambulances are considered by higher management to be consumables. Like, you knew where you were going, no one is forcing you to work.
I began to think more and more often about what if I was the next victim of the attack. How can I, a fragile and young girl, stand up for myself? What then? At best, my parents will receive words of condolences. Even if nothing happens, my future fate will be to live in poverty, acquire a bunch of diseases (my colleagues will understand me) and grow old before my peers.
If I had not met my good friend a few months ago and heard what he told me, I probably would have continued to work in the ambulance. I would still go to work, which brings no pleasure, but only disappointment.
“I would like to note that I like helping people, I want every patient to be healthy. But, unfortunately, our state is doing everything to discourage doctors from their last desire to work and help people.”
So my friend just told me a few phrases: “ Do you really not love and value yourself so much that you are plunging your life into this swamp with your own hands? You can change everything and live differently. Get out of here before it's too late! A couple more years will pass, and you will no longer be able to leave. The ambulance sucks you in, taking away all your vitality. Over time, the desire to change something disappears, because fear of something new and self-doubt appear. In any case, the emergency room is not the place where a woman should work, much less a sweet and pretty girl like you.”
Honestly, his words made me change my life dramatically. I left the ambulance the next morning, right after my shift ended. By the way, in the HR department I listened to a whole mountain of tricky instructions addressed to me like: “You will still come running and beg to be taken back. Do you think you can find something better? Well, well, let's look at your failure. Run“Run, you won’t find anything better anyway!”
You know, their mockery became a powerful incentive for me. Within 3 days I got a job at a pharmacy. The probationary period was only 2 weeks.
Now what?
And now I work, it’s warm, clean, I sleep at home in a comfortable bed, and besides, I get 2 times more salary. I entered the correspondence department to become a pharmacist. Life is getting better. I go to work like it’s a holiday, because I know that I’m finally somewhere where my work is paid what it deserves and where my work brings me pleasure.
I wish all my former colleagues to have the courage to rethink their lives and decide to change it.
"I understand that ambulance This is not a place to work for a fragile young girl. And in general, women should not work in such conditions.”
In general, the time has come for me to choose a university. Well, I thought about it and decided on a doctor, a surgeon. Mom is swearing, which surgeon? They say, first chop the cucumbers for salad and don’t cut yourself, then chop up people. Dad, on the contrary, praises and smiles like that. Waiting, you see, how is he medical alcohol I'll carry it.
Well, I went to the doctor. A classmate takes the Hippocratic oath every weekend and Friday. He doesn't accept anything. I'm learning alone! Time passed, and they entrusted me with sewing up one belly. The doctor looked at my work and stated:
- Sychev, with such skills you can’t sew up wounds, but sew up socks! Me too, needlewoman.
The first damn thing is lumpy, who doesn’t? This means I don’t waste time and keep asking for the operation. Trusted, hurray! Operated. How to say. The patient, I am glad, remained alive. It’s just that I got a nickname - Beef Stroganoff.
- Sychev, are you treating a person or are you preparing a kebab? Surgery is not your thing.
- OK. Let's go where the responsibility for the patient's life is minimal.
That's how I became a pathologist. Of course, it was scary at first, but then I got used to it. Even better. A dead person won’t ask for a certificate, won’t trample in the office, won’t go to the head doctor to complain. But this is where failure befell. My very first autopsy showed that the patient was paralyzed. Well, I didn’t keep track of who it doesn’t happen to?
- The first damn thing is lumpy, and the first dead man is alive, right, Sychev?
- Well, Faizulai Faizulaevich...
- You're not a good pathologist! Is your girlfriend also indistinguishable from a dead one when you arrive? If you become a student of Khryashchev, there is only one path for you!
Khryashchev Sergey Viktorovich. They say that after death he will open himself up and declare poisoning. In short, he is such a pathologist that next to him there are other pathologists - pediatricians. Or money at the register. The coolest corpse cutter, but also the harshest.
I come to him on the first day, and he does this with his eyes: morgue-morgue. Like, so that it’s immediately clear who you’re dealing with. He sews up his clothes only with surgical thread, picks his teeth with a scalpel instead of a toothpick, and drinks exclusively medical alcohol. In a word, a doctor to the core. And he is a good teacher. But with regards a little. The first time we went into the morgue with him, he barked like this:
- Soldiers get up! Why are we lying here, get up quickly! I later found out that he was a former military man, and the habit remained. And then it seemed strange. He also likes to talk to his “patients”.
- Oh, Marya Petrovna, she died half an hour ago. As they say, it's piping hot. So, what's in the belly? Yeah, the soup is still warm. Not like mine. Slavka, take the borscht to the microwave.
Or:
- Arthur Borisovich, what is our cause of death? I’ll open up the skull and let’s brainstorm together! However, my skills grew, he taught steadily and loved to say:
- You will learn, Slava, you will go to work as a surgeon, you will recruit a client base for me at the morgue! In short, a funny guy.
One day a black man is brought in to us.
- Sergei Viktorovich, he is black, like your humor!
- Shhh, Slavka. Can you hear this silence? Not because they are dead, but because you joke the same way you operate! Don't be offended, let's go cut the tanned guy...
And then the Negro will dig up! I almost turned gray. But at least that would help Khryashchev.
- Sychev, have you heard of post-mortem belching? It smells terrible. Okay, what do we have here?
Okay, to hell with the burping. I cautiously approach the African American, and my hands are shaking! Not from me, from the dead man. The second time I almost turned gray.
- Calm, Sychev. Post-mortem convulsions.
And then the black man slowly opens his eyes. He looks at me, then at Khryashchev. And the black man and I chorus:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Sergey Viktorovich, what is this?!
Khryashchev stands puzzled:
- Oh my God. I remember they brought them in alive, but they turned out dead. But on the contrary... Hush, Snickers, don't yell.
- Do you speak Russian?
- Oh, Slavka, he understands us.
- I... I don’t remember anything... Rasel...
- Oh, your name is Russell? I'm Sergei Viktorovich, and this is Slavka. Hello, my black friend!
The poor black man mutters something and clutches his head with his hands.
- Oh, I can’t remember a damn thing! Oh, there is... I have one phrase to remember, the main thing!
- Well, what do you have?
- Morning... Morning aground...
- Yeah, aground in the morning.
- Morning in the shallows... Vip, vip!
- Well, drink it. A bird like a heron.
- Morning is aground, bittern rasel!
- So. Is the bittern shallow this morning, Russell? Hm. Slavka, come here. While the black man is recovering, Khryashchev takes me aside.
- Sergey Viktorovich, what is this?
- Is the bittern shallow this morning, Russell? It seems like nonsense, but on the other hand... In our army they didn’t encrypt like that! This is a code phrase, apparently, and someone wanted to eliminate the black man. We need to figure this out. Where was the black one found?
- They picked it up near the trash can, he was, ahem. In Russian folk costume.
- Yeah, props. Well, definitely an agent. Also with amnesia.
So Khryashchev decided to go to that place and see if there was anything interesting. For lack of anything else, they dressed the black man in a doctor's uniform - a pure intern. We leave the hospital, everyone looks around.
- Sergey Viktorovich, is this on exchange with you?
- Nooo, you're fucking!
- Quiet, Russell! Don't attract attention!
We got into Khryashchev's Volga and drove off. It's not far from the place, and here are the trash cans. The homeless people are sitting there, nothing seems interesting.
- Oh, coal, howdy! Well, you rocked it yesterday!
- Nah, you're a pussy!
- Russell, leave the homeless alone. Sychev, look for evidence.
And then I see serious gentlemen coming. In suits. Worried, their eyes search everywhere. Suddenly they saw our black man and hurried.
- Sergey Viktorovich, is this not in our honor? They wave their hands and shout something.
- Slavka, Russell, get into the car quickly!
Like in an action movie. They jumped in, Khryaschev put his foot down and forward. I looked around - they were all waving, then they also got into the car. And the car is serious, I need to operate on it for half the city. They're catching up. Russell sits, hums, and holds his head. And here it is:
- Recall! Recall! Stranded in the morning...
They overtake us and press us. They honk. Khryashchev turned pale:
- That's it, Slavka. We've finished the game.
- Stranded in the morning...
These suits opened the door of the Volga:
- Idiots, why the hell did you take our black man?!
- I remembered! There will be a hangover in the morning, drink the brine!
In short, they told everything. The Ambassador of Zimbabwe, first day in the city, decided to take him to a pub. Out of habit, he got drunk on vodka and ran off to roam around the city. Then he caught up with the homeless people and passed out. There he was mistaken for dead. Of course, we were thanked for saving the ambassador and given a monetary gift. Khryashchev took a leave of absence for this reason, and I decided to leave medicine. Well, his, not mine. Got a job as a cook in a restaurant. And guess what? No one cooks beef stroganoff better than me! By the way, my nickname here is Surgeon. I sew up the stuffed chicken using only surgical thread. And I cut the meat with a scalpel. Out of old habit.
Why I left medicine
Confession of a doctor. Part 1. Why I left medicine
I am a doctor, surgeon. More than 20 years in medicine. In short, in strokes, then most of life is a prosperous, one might say, standard course of events. “Average” family: father is a military man, mother is a doctor. School, medal, medical. Institute, honors diploma, 3 years of work in distribution in the "outback" in a small regional hospital and in the specialty and plugging holes in staffing table. I had to work as a therapist, a neuropathologist-psychiatrist, a blood transfusion doctor, and set up ophthalmology, and work night shifts for all the specialists. It was not easy, but very interesting. I remember these three years with pleasure.
Then work at a world-famous research institute and the realization of a dream - surgery, microsurgery. Defense of the candidate's dissertation. A lot of interesting work, unique operations. Wonderful people nearby - teachers, colleagues, patients. When meeting new patients, she always said: “There are three of us now - you, me and the disease. Who will you be with? If with me, then there will be two of us at the same time, and it will be easier to cope with the disease.” In general, I loved my job and considered it my calling. I never regretted my choice. And I couldn’t imagine life without surgery.
And a few years ago I left my beloved and successful surgery, an unfinished doctorate and perplexed colleagues. She left consciously, calmly, without regret. I’m not ashamed of the life I’ve lived, but I’ve started a new one. My beloved mother, my friend and adviser, observing the changes in me, in my life, without yet understanding what was happening, said: “I have the impression that you have been going towards this all your life.” Yes, now I know for sure that this is exactly so.
What changed my life so dramatically?
The fact is that my considerable experience, mentality and simple observation have long forced me to draw several disappointing conclusions regarding my profession.
1. Medicine forces you to constantly violate the main commandment of the physician - do no harm (“non nocere”)! Where is the exit?
2. The entire history of human diseases and healing has a sadly constant vector (character): despite all the new achievements medical science, unresolved issues there are more and more people suffering, there are fewer and fewer healthy newborns, long-forgotten “defeated” diseases are returning, and completely new ones are emerging. I would say some kind of infinitely bleak vector: the further it goes, the worse it gets. Why? When and how will it end?
3. All medicine is built on imperfect diagnostic methods. There is not a single one that is 100% reliable. And on such “floating” data, the physician has to draw conclusions, make recommendations, and make responsible decisions. I have the right?
4. Pharmaceutical business with an avalanche of new drugs itself constantly leads to new problems in treatment, causing incompatibility of drugs, side effects and complications already from these drugs. Is there an alternative?
5. Every physician is faced with either “miracles” of recovery, when an obviously doomed patient “suddenly” recovers, or with “fatal” cases, when the successful course of treatment “suddenly” acquires an uncontrollable catastrophic character. Where are the explanations for all this “suddenly”? How to resist this?
6. Remains unresolved main question treatment is the cause of the disease. Microbes, viruses, genes, atherosclerosis...for some reason they affect some and “don’t touch” others. Immunity, stress, ecology, age and heredity - these are the “universal” explanations for all occasions, which are sometimes like a lifesaver for a doctor. But then why, for example, during a flu epidemic can a strong person with normal immunity get sick, while a weak person with a weakened immune system can be healthy? Why, given equal data, one has heart attack after heart attack (tumor, diabetes), while the other has nothing. Why does a boy who saves a child drowning in ice then have neither bronchitis nor pneumonia, but a seasoned kayaker athlete who fell during training in cold water, dies "from hypothermia." Why are all efforts so often unsuccessful? modern medicine in the fight against infertility? Here is a young woman, after several miscarriages, in order to give birth, she spent the entire pregnancy in the hospital. A next pregnancy She spent it completely safely on the run and caring for her firstborn. And she gave birth to a second child “without noticing.” Why healthy spouses have a disabled child. Or don’t have any children of their own. And the "lady" with bad habits, with health problems, who has neither a family, nor comfortable housing, nor the desire to raise numerous offspring - child after child. So many unanswered “whys”.
7. Narrow specialization is both a necessity and a problem in medicine. The understandable desire to deepen knowledge in a certain area has its own reverse side- loss of the overall “picture” of the disease. And a great specialist, figuratively speaking, a “surgeon” thumb left leg" simply physically cannot see (remember, know) other health problems of his patient. But everything in the body is interconnected.
8. The “area of interest” of medicine is limited and does not cover all health problems. For example, problems that have existed for centuries such as the evil eye or damage (as esotericists and psychics say - energy injection) do not fall into the sphere of influence of medicine. Whether medicine wants to admit it or not, completely different “structures” cope with such a misfortune. And honest doctors, having not found the slightest abnormality in a young, healthy, but “wasting away” person, admit that only God knows what the reason is and what to expect next. And more and more often the patient is sent to the “grandmothers” or the priest.
And what didn’t fit into my head at all was a new “explanation” of the reason for the increasing number of cases of unexpected death of people (children), death against the background of a prosperous state. “Sudden (infant) death syndrome” - this is what doctors admit to their helplessness now looks like. Simply put, doctors write that a person suddenly died for no apparent reason. This is called - we have arrived.
9. Vaccinations are a full-scale disgrace of medicine, placed in a number of countries, including ours, at the state level. Active and groundless interference in the nature of a person, a child, with grave consequences. Who will answer?
10. Every physician is forced to say more than once in his life: “we are powerless.” And it doesn’t matter whether he says this to a hopeless patient, to the parents of a sick child, or to himself, while maintaining the illusion of help in the person so as not to kill hope. White lie? And how to look into the eyes of this person or the parents of such a child?
11. I, an ophthalmologist, have long wanted to understand what “good” or “evil” eyes mean. By what signs are they identified? And what is the difference between a “soulful” person, with whom it is so comfortable to communicate, and a “soulless” person, contacts with whom you avoid at all costs? How to react to such statements from patients as: “the Soul has become lighter,” “a stone has fallen from the Soul”? Or “the cats are scratching at the Soul”, “the Soul is heavy”...? And what does "mentally ill" mean? What is the Soul? Where is? Why in medical institute not a word about it, if human life is so connected with it?
And then there’s the statement of Academician N. Amosov, whom I respect: “... Don’t rely on medicine. It treats many diseases quite well, but it cannot make a person healthy...” Then I read from L. Tolstoy: “caring for one’s body has no end and... people who take care of their bodies with the help of medicine not only forget about the lives of other people, but also about their own" (!!!)
Having no answers to these questions and not seeing an alternative, I pushed these problems “for later.” Like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind (I'll think about it tomorrow)
True, I tried to recommend “alternative” medicine in some cases, but backed down, convinced that the possibilities there are limited, and point 10 is no exception. And there are tons of charlatans too!
I have always wanted understanding in everything, especially in my profession. I don’t recognize thoughtless, stupid adherence to “norms”. Put everything on the “shelves” and then act. That's for me.
I also always wanted the opportunity to help everyone who asks for help.
Also - mutual understanding and goodness in relationships between people.
And also - support, such that nothing is ever scary.
It’s amazing, I found it all: understanding, support, opportunities, and people who are at the same time. Probably, according to the principle “whoever wants will achieve it, whoever seeks will always find.”
Now I know how to really help cope with any disease; there are no restrictions on diagnosis. And for this there is no need to hurt, poison with anesthesia, medications, or deprive the joy of life with prohibitions fresh air and sun or strict diets.
The truth is, for the sake of such opportunities it was worth shaking up your life, finding the strength to dramatic changes. And leaving a job, a prestigious place, is not a sacrifice. And not betrayal of your patients. Against. Now I have incomparably more opportunities to help.
Yes, for this I had to rearrange a lot of things that I had followed without thinking long years. To do this, I had to honestly look at my entire past life. I had to sort out my priorities. Re-form your life position. And try to stand firmly on it.
Of course they helped me. I am not alone, I have like-minded friends with me, people who stand in the same positions.
And now in my vocabulary there are no words “suddenly”, “lucky”, “why”, “amazing coincidence”, “terrible injustice”, “for what”... Because everything in our life is natural. And there are no coincidences. Everything has a reason. And you can always find it. Find and eliminate. Both cause and effect. And more importantly, warn.
The understanding of the causes of disease has changed. The options for help have changed.
I realized that medicine tries to eliminate not the causes, but the consequences of diseases.
When my views on diseases, their causes, and the possibilities of help came into conflict with those in medicine, I left it. I don’t want to live by double standards and I won’t.
Why did I leave materialism?
My worldview
Man is a unique creation. An amazingly “thought out” body and an incomprehensible Soul. The body is our physical visible part. Tool for the Soul. It needs to be treated with respect. Rest, food, temperature regime- all according to known “operating conditions”. But our main part, the invisible one, is the Soul. Everything begins and ends with the Soul.
Life on Earth is a school for the Soul. On Earth we learn.
We all have a common Parent. The one who created us. Who created the Earth, nature, Space - everything. This is the Creator, Creator, God, Father. The word that is closest to me is Father.
We are all his Children. (Not slaves. And not workers. But children! For me, the difference is fundamental).
Different in appearance, different in character, abilities, skin color... we are basically the same: we have a Soul.
To educate the Souls of his children, the Father created a school - the School of Life. In order to grow “young” Souls into “adults” in it, to prepare followers of their Causes. Here children will master the physical world, gain knowledge, experience, and find application for their abilities. Learn to distinguish good from evil. They will learn to preserve their world on their own, to live in harmony with it, in peace and harmony with each other. They will learn to enjoy life and love and take care of everything that the Father gave for this - the earth, nature, plants, animals. And each other.
And all in order to be “ripe” (established) by the end of the School to continue life, but at a different level of opportunity, in a different capacity (“enter college”).
Learning outcomes will be determined by a “final exam.” They will evaluate your knowledge, accumulated experience, level of maturity (consistency), and realized or unrealized opportunities. A sort of fraction where the numerator is what you managed to do in your life, and the denominator is what you could have done. The exam will decide whether we are ready for further life.
Like a tuning fork, like a kind of standard, the Father put his own piece into the Soul of each one - a spark of God - to help us. We can focus on it in our lives. (If I feel that “my Soul is heavy,” it means that my vibrations did not coincide with the tuning fork. And if “my Soul became lighter,” that means everything is correct)
The highest vibrations of GOD, THE FATHER correspond (close) to only one state on Earth - Love.
In fact, this is the most powerful human feeling. I'm talking about LOVE. She is like a “driving force”. With Love you can do anything. And nothing can resist her. Because there is no other feeling like this, but with the opposite sign.
Hatred is weaker than Love.
Relatively recently I realized that every person is endowed with this feeling from the very beginning. Now, if you “get it” from within yourself, or, more precisely, get to the bottom of it through all our “troubles,” then everything that “makes it up” will become normal and natural: compassion, patience, forgiveness, understanding, and creativity , and help, and kindness...
To achieve it, the FATHER gave us a “hint” - “Live in kindness, treat with kindness everything and everyone that surrounds you.”
This is the only RULE for successful study or, in other words, the condition normal life.
At the School, we will be constantly taught and tested for compliance with the Rule, for compliance with the Standard, creating circumstances for choosing between good and evil (a kind of tests for consistency).
Everyone has an individual program, but the problems are common - those human qualities that do not fit into the concept of “Good”. Those who prevent you from getting to the bottom of your Love.
Pride, envy, anger (anger), laziness, deception, melancholy (dejection), resentment, greed... - complete negativity. Rough, low vibrations. So you need to have time to get rid of them during your studies and life. And this is very difficult. And you need to do this all the time, every day and every minute. As the poet N. Zabolotsky said: “The soul must work day and night, and day and night...”. Because you may not have time.
The first time I understood what it meant to “not make it” was when we lost my mother. Yes, I didn’t understand it right away.
And immediately, upon receiving the information: “She’s leaving,” there was only shock - it can’t be. Already almost back on her feet, restored after a huge “bouquet” of illnesses. There was, as it seemed to us, very little left. We'll make it. Did not have time.
I will definitely tell you about my mother. I should have told you a long time ago.
Apparently we are not very diligent students; we do not have time to cope with the program in one lifetime. The Father gives us the opportunity to complete our studies - we come to Earth more than once (esotericists call this reincarnation). At the end of each life there is physical death: the body to Mother Earth (debriefing into its component parts), and the soul to an intermediate exam (as we say, “debriefing”). We will see everything, even the briefest thought, to ourselves throughout our entire past life. And there you will no longer be able to blame your mistakes on someone else or “fall through the earth” from shame for your actions and thoughts. And the accumulated experience will be stored in a “personal file” for the future.
If there is the go-ahead for the next implementation, a plan is drawn up.
And the conditions of the next coming to Earth (place of birth, nationality, social environment, parents) now depend on the results of the previous life. How hard I tried.
We will drag all the unresolved problems in the previous life, all the “lost tails” with us into the next life (to the next class). And it already has its own program. Plus unprocessed from past life. It can be very difficult... For example, an exam that was not passed on tolerance towards another person or his choice may come back in a more difficult version, when you yourself find yourself “in the shoes” of such a person and feel for yourself what it’s like. That is quite possible variant, when an anti-Semite is born into a large and friendly Jewish family. And the “fighter” for the special rights of white-skinned people is in an African tribe.
It’s the same as how, in the allotted time, you didn’t learn how much two or two is, but the time has already come to solve three or three.
But no one is ever given unsolvable problems (we ourselves complicate them). And there is always a solution. To cover up the evil done with good. As my friend Zarema said: “There is no need to fight evil. We need to expand the boundaries of good.”
I think that our attitude towards people is one of the main indicators of wealth.
In order not to limit us in our endeavors, opportunities, and creativity, HE gave us all FREEDOM OF CHOICE. Each of us has the right to both our own opinion and our own mistakes. And everyone is responsible for it themselves.
Please live, create, make mistakes, correct yourself, grow, learn...
To live, or more simply put, to act, speak and think, you need energy. And we get it all the time.
We are all in a single energy and information space, in unified system energy supply and energy exchange.
Energy supports everything - the Earth rotates, rivers flow, clouds float, flora grows, blooms, fauna runs, flies and swims, eats and reproduces. A person is born and lives: he speaks, he thinks, he does. And all this with the help of energy - the Energy of the Creator, Creator, God!
HE provided us with constant sources of his Energy - the Sun, Air, Water, Earth. They are always there, always with us. Everyone feels this energetic support in one way or another - “the sun, air and water are ours.” best friends". And - the children to the river, to the sea, and themselves - to lie in the sun and sit in the air. Recover.
The energy that comes to us for life, through our actions, words and thoughts, “returns” to the surrounding space, to the “common cauldron”. This is the “cycle” of Energy in nature. And each person, with his energy, influences both himself and the state of the entire system. Can preserve, strengthen. Or maybe it’s the other way around: causing discord, destroying your own and the general energy.
The ability to freely choose between good and evil, to live as you wish, does not mean that our whole life is chaos, anarchy and uncontrolled lawlessness.
The Creator has placed his LAW above everything and everyone.
Life in all its manifestations is subject to this Law. He protects our common space. He protects everything that contributes to our existence, everything that is aimed at strengthening and developing the entire civilization and every person. In other words, it protects everything that is good, progressive, and positive. And supports you energetically. And vice versa, everything destructive, “evil” is returned back, including to the “author”. To understand that you cannot “saw the branch on which you are sitting”, “spit into the well”, without thinking about the consequences of your life activity. And an earthquake with human casualties is also our common negative returned by the Law, in which, quite possibly, there is my “drop”.
The effect of the Law can be expressed by the famous proverb - “what goes around comes around.”
The duration of the Law is decided strictly individually, taking into account the capabilities and efforts of each person, taking into account his life plan.
Hence it turns out that the problems that arise in our lives (fire, illness, accidents, a brick on our heads, sudden production complications...) are our own negativity, which the Law returned to us in one form or another. That is, on a physical, understandable level, we are made to understand that a RULE has been violated - a condition of normal life - in order to live, you need to live in goodness.
So it turns out that the question: “Who is to blame?” in all cases, you can respond with one simple action - go to the nearest mirror. There will be the culprit of all my problems.
Now “What to do?” when the normal course of life has been disrupted.
Stop and look back. “Rewind” time and find where, when, how I brought evil-negativity into the world: I offended, envied, judged, was offended, deceived, became proud, got angry. Where I came under the Law. (Or where, when and how I “substituted” another person for the Law. For example, it became easier for me to cope with my stupid manner of being late when I realized that by being late I was forcing the person waiting for me to be nervous, angry, offended, etc. ... that is, to throw out negativity “into the common pot” and violate the Rule of human coexistence. And the fact that he himself does not remember about the Law does not change anything for me.)
Finding the cause is the first step to eliminating the consequences.
But realize and accept it as your mistake! Now this is mental work. Understand and accept that what was done (said, thought) is bad, this cannot be done in any way and never again, because I, people, and the world will suffer from this. Realize this and apologize to those you offended. And before the Father. Apologize sincerely, from the heart. The Father always sees the degree of our sincerity.
One of many, an example from life. In search of the cause of the problems that have arisen serious problems, found the moment of violation where the Law was broken. She knelt down, turning to the Father with apology and repentance: “I’m sorry that I upset you again...” But I couldn’t resist: it was as if someone was pushing me off my knees. After the third attempt, I decided not to repeat it again. But I didn’t understand anything. Why? After all, I found the reason correctly. Later, information came: I found the reason - I “figured it out with my brains,” but internally, with my soul, I didn’t accept it. The main thing did not happen, for which this entire “school” system was created. There was no change in my soul (I didn’t learn the lesson, I answered according to the cheat sheet). And that’s what the Law is for, to help you learn to become a Human.
Therefore, you can stop the effect of the Law only with your understanding and sincere repentance.
And it is extremely important, having realized your mistake, to learn this lesson to the fullest. later life. And try not to repeat it. And take the knowledge gained to help yourself in the future. This is the meaning of studying - our experience and internal changes - spiritual growth. Because otherwise it won’t be a school, but kindergarten: “Dad, I won’t do this again.” And a minute later I completely forgot about my Skoda and moved on with my life as if nothing had happened: next time they’ll forgive me again.
You can, of course, live without knowing any such law, in constant bewilderment and grief - why? why did this happen to me? where does this injustice come from? what an absurd accident, etc. But ignorance of the Law, as we know, does not exempt one from responsibility. The version of a blind kitten that pokes and hurts itself in the corners is not my option. For me, it’s better to live consciously, in understanding where my troubles come from. And how to eliminate them. Better yet, avoid it.
I know that there is nothing new in my worldview. These concepts were given to people from the very beginning. These are like landmarks for those who went into the forest for a walk, for firewood or for another purpose, and do not want to then stupidly get lost, looking for the way to the house, but use the known knowledge that, for example, moss grows on trees with north side, and starlings start singing at 4 o’clock in the morning, etc. And the only question is how much a person wants to remember them, about landmarks, and be guided by them in life.
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