How to stay calm and focused if you have a nervous job? How to get rid of anxiety in no time if you have a responsible performance ahead of you? How to acquire the ability to think soberly and respond adequately if someone tries to piss you off? Finally, how to find the "off" button if you're so wound up that you can't fall asleep at the end have a hard day? Sharon Melnick answers these and many other questions in her book “Resilience: How to Stay Calm and Highly Effective in Any Situation.”
Professional business psychologist Sharon Melnik has written a book in which there is no “water” and empty reasoning, it is not overloaded with scientific terms - the information is presented in a living language and is very exciting. It was quite difficult to choose an excerpt for publication on our website - almost every chapter contained very interesting theoretical information and, importantly - practical advice on overcoming stress.
Melnik believes that the algorithm for exiting any stressful situation is built on three basic rules, on three pillars - the psychologist offers:
1) And change your attitude towards the situation. That is, look at the problem from a different angle and, perhaps, find new solutions.
2) Learn to control physiology. This means discovering new ways to relax or, conversely, if necessary, to concentrate. (And Melnik gives a lot of such methods and specific techniques).
3) Solve the problem of. Simply put, eradicate the source of stress, and you will no longer have to deal with it.
We suggest stopping at physiology management, and here is the corresponding excerpt from Sharon Melnick’s book “Resilience: How to Stay Calm and Highly Effective in Any Situation,” published by Mann, Ivanov and Ferber.
The following strategies, or tools as the author calls them, will help you find your shutdown button and use it effectively. Try these simple exercises - they won't take much time. Perhaps, thanks to them, you can learn to easily restore strength and bring your nervous system into balance.
Have you ever felt like your head was about to explode, but in the meantime the situation required extreme concentration and clarity of mind? And do you start dreaming of a magic wand that could fix everything in the blink of an eye? Then the “three-stage breathing” exercise is just for you! It can be used to relax after intense concentration, clear your mind after a stressful business meeting, or as a mental reset when your mind is racing...
Breath: inhale through your nose, hold your breath, exhale through your nose - all on an equal count (for example, inhale for five counts, hold your breath for five counts and exhale for five counts).
Hand position: bring your fingertips together to balance the right and left hemispheres.
Duration: three minutes 1-2 times a day or during overload.
To get more effective results You can perform the exercise daily and increase its duration to 7-11 minutes.
I have taught the Three-Step Breathing technique to thousands of business people, and almost all of them agree on how practical this tool is. According to one of my clients, “the calmness and concentration that you gain by doing 90 minutes of yoga, you can get in less than 3 minutes, without leaving your desk!”…
Tool #2: Breathing for Return to Sleep: Sleep Well and Wake Up Refreshed
During sleep, our body restores its strength and all its essential systems so that we can stay healthy, not experience mood swings, and have excellent concentration throughout the day. Getting enough sleep even reduces hunger. We all know from personal experience, how moody we become if we don't get enough sleep. In addition, it has been proven that people who are sleep deprived tend to ruminate on negative events from the past more often. However, sleep is usually the first thing we sacrifice in order to gain an extra hour of productivity...
Breathing to return to sleep: breathe through the left nostril
Breath: close your right nostril with your big or index finger right hand and breathe through your left nostril. If possible, you can also roll over onto your right side, placing your head on the pillow so that your right nostril is closed.
Duration: 3-5 minutes to achieve a relaxed state and return to sleep.
Application: technique for quickly relaxing and falling asleep or returning to sleep.
In addition, there are folk remedies to relieve tension. Eg, chamomile tea calms and relaxes. In a state of stress, especially in an urban environment, your body experiences a constant deficiency of magnesium. Taking magnesium supplements is a great addition to your stress-resilience toolkit.
Does it happen that too many thoughts prevent you from falling asleep? Do you wake up in the middle of the night with thoughts about work and then can't go back to sleep? I suggest you magic wand, which will help you sleep soundly at night and wake up rested.
Can you use this technique throughout the day? Of course, because it helps to relax...
Tool #3 “Breathing for quick cleansing»
Do you only have one minute? Make the most of it - breathing exercise for a quick cleanse, it will help you rid your bloodstream of the harmful stress hormone cortisol.
Inhale slowly while counting to three.
Tool #4: Instant Bliss
I regularly use this technique when I'm sitting at my desk, waiting for the elevator, or standing in line at the store. First I relax the area around my eyes, then my core muscles and lower my shoulders. I take a deep breath. My whole body seems to “flow” down and relax. Once I have entered this state, I continue to take slow and deep breaths in and out to relax and extend the moment of bliss by 1-3 minutes. After that, I take an energetic breath. Having replenished my energy reserves, I am ready to go into battle again! I find that a few minutes of this practice leads to what are called “eureka moments.” For example, I am able to make optimal use of the information received in the projects I work on.
Tool #5 Meditation
Meditation is a broad concept that refers to a state of consciousness in which all attention is directed inward. The technique of putting oneself in such a state has gained enormous popularity and today has become practically a phenomenon of mass culture. This is confirmed by the fact that many large companies have begun to implement this and similar practices and programs for personnel development.
Exist different kinds meditation. One type, meditation to achieve mental clarity, helps to concentrate attention and improves the functioning of the frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for thinking and decision-making...
Another type of meditation helps develop an internal state of empathy for others by enhancing the areas of the brain that control emotions.
The third type of meditation, the well-known “transcendental meditation” (TM), uses “mantras” (a sound, syllable or phrase) that require effortless repetition but still help achieve clear consciousness...
Today, many yoga studios and health centers also offer classes in various meditation practices. Find a method that suits you and find time for it during the day.
Tool No. 6 Relieving gas fatigue
Many of us have jobs that involve constant use of a computer or other electronic devices. Try these exercises to give love to the eyes that work so hard for you!
The eyes must be closed throughout the entire exercise. Rub your hands quickly until you feel warm. Cover your eyes with your hands so that your palms are in front of your eyes at a distance of about 2.5 cm. Feel how the heat penetrates your eyes, warming them. Keep your hands in front of your eyes until the warmth begins to disappear. The exercise can be repeated as often as you like.
Another method is to connect the thumb, index finger and middle fingers, placing them at a distance of approximately 2.5 cm of eyes. Point your fingertips towards your eyes as if pointing at them laser ray healing energy (which is exactly what you do).
You are now armed with several techniques to help you find the "off" button. Some of them will take you no more than three minutes (the length of the meditation depends on the type you will practice), so you have no more excuses! You've been looking for the shutdown button, and now you have all the tools you need to use it. Start with the practice that most excites you and make time for it in your schedule. How can you remember to use the technique and regularly resort to it when you need a quick “recovery” exercise? Just do it every day.
Workaholism, an unstable daily routine and the need to exist in a state of permanent uncertainty are an integral part of the life of business people and the reason why they are so susceptible to stress. Yale University research has shown that constant stress Not only is it harmful to health, but it also leads to degeneration of areas of the brain responsible for self-control and decision-making. On the one hand, a mild, short-term state of stress is useful, it makes us move more actively and promotes concentration, on the other hand, its excess leads to a loss of control over the situation. H&F has looked into what can be done to maintain the necessary balance.
Imagine what this situation would be like your grandmother responded. Firstly, it’s funny, and funny thoughts relieve the tension. Secondly, we usually become calmer with age, since we have already been through a lot, and there is little that can make us worry. Try applying this point of view to yourself. If the feeling of fear does not go away, find a child or cat nearby - playing with them will allow you to relax and look at the world through their eyes.
Another way to prepare to a stressful situation - have your own rituals. This could be a bath before bed, a walk with the dog, or your favorite music that you listen to during breaks at work. It turns out that such daily habits improve the body's ability to deal with stress, as they allow you to keep at least a small part of your life under control. Whenever you start to worry, remember that no matter what happens, you will still do the same thing today as you always do. This will bring you back to your comfort zone.
If the conflict has already flared up, in this case, composure will not hurt. According to psychologists, it is the partners’ excessive emotionality that leads to a break in relationships. After all, in the process of sorting out relationships, loving people move away from each other, and since our people do not like to go to psychologists, this leads to the dissolution of marriages. To always find common ground with your loved one, psychologists recommend restraining your emotions and remaining calm.Among the most common reasons for family scandals, psychologists have identified infidelity, disagreements in raising children, and relationships with relatives and friends.
If a couple decides to resolve the conflict on their own, then experts recommend learning to calmly argue your point of view and try not to lose close contact with your partner. It is in the distance from each other and overly emotional scenes of showdown that the reason for the collapse of the union of two loving people lies.
The average couple tries to resort to the help of professional psychologists as little as possible. Indeed, for most, the very fact of contacting a specialist already indicates the end of the relationship.
Do we react correctly to insults and abuse? At any job, misunderstandings with colleagues and conflict situations with management are possible. Not to mention the sphere of everyday life, which is crammed with stressful situations. Is it possible to save in a conflict environment? peace of mind? Psychologists say that it is possible if you apply assertiveness.
An assertive person is psychologically stable and independent of other people’s opinions
Instructions: how to remain calm during a quarrel or conflict
- Eastern sages, famous for their measured approach to life, advise not to instinctively clench your fists at the moment of conflict, but, on the contrary, to straighten your fingers. This simple movement helps with the outflow of blood from the head and makes it possible to instantly cool down and assess the situation calmly, as if from the outside.
- If you are deliberately provoked into conflict, do not give in. To begin with, do not look your interlocutor in the eyes, break off eye contact with him, through which he could manipulate you on a subconscious level. Do not raise your voice under any circumstances: on the contrary, if you are yelled at, answer deliberately quietly, but clearly. This confuses the enemy, forcing him to shut up in order to listen to what you are saying.
- In cases where you are going to a meeting or event where it will be difficult to remain calm (this could be a party with your ex, or a corporate event with competitors), worry about your mood in advance. In critical cases, you can take a sedative, just do not overdo the dose so as not to experience drowsiness. But it’s best to simply remind yourself of the basic rules of equanimity: even breathing, a smile on your face.
What is meant by assertiveness?
The English word "assert" means to assert. From this word comes the psychological concept of “assertiveness” - an internal state in which a person has his own, independent opinion, but at the same time he is independent of external pressure, of external assessments. There are three scales of response to conflicting, negative events: aggressiveness - assertiveness - passivity. Moreover, assertiveness is in the middle, as the most correct and calm state.
When faced with negativity, a person most often experiences two main reactions: aggressiveness - responding with abuse for abuse, anger for anger, as a result - conflict, spoiled mood, frayed nerves, bad relationships, in extreme cases - there are worst consequences. The second response option: passivity - when a person runs away from a dangerous conflict. This can be expressed in passive silence, inaction, leaving the room where the conflict is flaring up, avoiding negative situations or a person who is negative for you. This option is non-aggressive, but it brings mental devastation, dissatisfaction with oneself, and humiliation.
But there is a third option for responding to negativity - assertiveness. Various ancient sages always adhered to this “golden mean”, the most correct response to conflict situations.
Assertive state- this is an autonomous state, the ability to have one’s own opinion, and not an aggressive one that needs to be defended, like a fighting cock, but a calm, analytical assessment of current events or people. Being in an assertive state, it is difficult to put pressure on a person, it is difficult to manipulate him. Such a person is internally, psychologically stable, he is independent from other people’s assessments, from outside opinions, from standard frameworks.
Assertiveness is somewhat detached - it allows you to look at a negative situation from the outside, and not indifferently or coldly, but as if you were looking at the stage from a theater hall, but at the same time you are not just a spectator, but an arbiter who must make his opinion on the situation that has arisen situation, your decision, give an internal assessment of what is happening. But it is important not to impose an internal assessment of what is happening on others, not to dictate your will and not to prove your opinion as the only correct one.
Assertive personality traits
It is important to develop in yourself assertive skill:
Quickly understand a negative situation;
Analyze it;
Develop your own position regarding it and all participants - why it arose, who is the instigator, what are the true and external reasons its occurrence, what the consequences may be and what can be done in such a situation;
Do not violate other people's psychological boundaries - do not attack, insult, or scold;
Be able to protect your own psychological boundaries - remain calm and balanced, do not take insults personally, do not be offended, do not let someone else’s anger deep into your soul.
Confucius said: "No one can be humiliated until he feels humiliated". Russian folk wisdom reads: "They carry water for the offended". This is the stereotypical thinking of the last century - that you have to respond with insult to insult, blow to blow, and that if you don’t answer, then you are a coward, and you shouldn’t “allow someone to wipe their feet on you,” etc. Self-esteem does not lie in an aggressive retaliation, but in a calm, wise and balanced reaction to any negativity. Among monkeys in a herd, the true leader is not the one who behaves most defiantly and yells and bullies the most, but the one who sits a little further away, somewhat aloof, he is the calmest, and it is he who resolves all conflicts.
Application of assertiveness
“When a stick is thrown, the lion looks at the one who threw the stick, and the dog looks at the stick itself. This is a huge difference between them.” So is assertiveness - when understanding a conflict, look at who threw the stick and why and react correctly to it. Assertiveness can help in the following ways:
Allowing any conflict situations, both in a work environment and in a domestic or home environment;
Understand your internal differences;
Learn to perform a variety of tasks, even unpleasant work, overcome time pressure - without stress and panic;
Improve your professionalism at work;
Ability to establish and maintain relationships with a variety of clients;
Do not lose an aggressive client;
Develop self-esteem.
Let's look at some practical examples of assertiveness. It is worth keeping in mind that people are often vindictive, even in small things. Sometimes this manifests itself at a very deep subconscious level. How can this be overcome? A paradoxical response: positive to negative. For example, in the office you have to approach an employee and, showing him a poorly done job, ask him to redo it. The employee's reaction could be:
1) aggressive - indignation “I did everything well”, “they are finding fault with me”, “do it yourself”;
2) passive - dismissive throwing of the folder on the table, “okay, I’ll do it later,” detached silence.
In any case, you will hear unflattering remarks addressed to you: if you are equal and colleagues - then right to your face, if you are a manager - then behind your back. Rarely does anyone show the correct reaction and calmly ask: “What exactly needs to be changed? What mistakes have I made?” and then say, "Okay, I'll redo it."
What can you do with assertiveness? First, understand why this employee did such a bad job: tired, sick, something is wrong at home, he is incompetent, he is tired of his job, it’s time to go on vacation, etc. Your reaction depends on what answer you get. But in any case, something positive and unexpected can manifest itself. For example: “I understand that you are tired of everything and you are tired, I also have such a mood, but it will be better if we try and redo the work”, warmly thank the employee “thank you, you know that I like horror films” , and your report was from this series,” etc. An unexpected answer, and even with a sense of humor, can neutralize vindictiveness. Involving people in joint work and joint discussion can also help: “let’s see together how we can correct this situation,” “first, let’s all calm down, have a cup of coffee, and then think about what we can do,” etc.
In any case, it is important to show calm, understanding and tolerance. This is especially applicable to particularly aggressive situations in which emotions rage over the edge and the arguments of reason are powerless until the person calms down. There are trainings on assertiveness, various techniques that can be learned. But the most important thing is the internal position, thought out and developed, which will allow you to maintain balance in any life situation and not to destroy the psychological boundaries of other people.
Stay calm in stressful situations
Anything can make you angry: just like serious problems, and even the most insignificant little things. There is nothing wrong with giving vent to emotions, but in some cases it is still better to refrain and calm down. Especially if the emotions are negative.
There are a few simple ways, which will help you quickly pull yourself together and calm down.
1. Sit down, relax, catch your breath. Close your eyes and imagine cool water for 30 seconds. white, which, like a waterfall, falls on the top of the head and slowly runs down from head to toe. Then imagine how all the water slowly flows onto the floor into a funnel. Visualize everything in detail. Then take a deep breath and open your eyes.
2. Wet your hands with cool water and touch your neck (first with one hand, then with both). Gently, in a circular motion, for 30 seconds, rub your neck and shoulders, gradually increasing the pressure of your fingers. Then, within 30 seconds, reduce the pressure to a light touch. Then rinse your neck with cool water.
3. Take a towel from thick fabric. Squeeze it well in your hands and twist it with all your might, as if squeezing it. Grit your teeth, close your eyes tightly and tense all the muscles of your body as much as possible (especially in the neck and arms). After 25-30 seconds, sharply drop the towel on the floor and relax your muscles.
Using these simple exercises, you can quickly come to your senses and calm down as before important event, and after an unpleasant quarrel. The main thing is to remember that there are very few things in the world that are really worth your time.
When I was a little younger I had big goals and aspirations and desire achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.
Does everything seem simple? Probably no. But there are measures we can take to at least, stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.
Below are twelve recommendations on how to keep your cool and remain calm in different everyday situations.
1. Try not to be dramatic
It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. In any stressful situations, when the problem concerns you, do not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when.” You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently.
Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset.
3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm
Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.
It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.
Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.
4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy
Are there certain situations that make you feel out of control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy—or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day.
5. Realize that you can control your emotions
Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.
6.Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals
If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.
When you get home from work, take a few minutes to let your mind calm before diving into family matters. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and do a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.
7.Take care of your immediate needs
Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.
Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.
Avoid overuse sugar and caffeine, and don't dehydrate your body. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.
8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit
Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga—or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you many times good service. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.
9. Take a break
Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.
10.Take a day off
If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.
11.Don't forget to breathe
When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.
During correct breathing belly, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.
12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.
Here are some quotes that I find inspiring:
“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron
“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is stronger than any physical strength in the Universe" by Wayne Dyer.
“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.
“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Moderate, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.
“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.
Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, psychological condition society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.
Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.
Do I need this?
Holders of certain types of temperament initially possess this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life path. We are talking about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:
- who find it difficult to control emotions;
- who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
- to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
- who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
- who dreams of always being a discreet person.
Why you shouldn't be nervous
Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.- If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
- If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
- If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
- If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
- If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.
Learning to be calm
Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.
The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.
“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements
You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.
Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.
The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.
“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience
To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.
“Food Pot” - mindful eating
Attitudes to food in times of fast food and processed foods, frozen desserts and ready meals from the supermarket has undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.
Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Satiety signals will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim body is provided along with the ability not to be irritated while eating.
“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence
Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. Left hand lies on the right thumb right hand - on the left palm, does not press on it, but simply lies there.
WITH eyes closed you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.
Controlling negative emotions
Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.- Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions(anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, rancor, etc.).
- Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
- Remember the most severe attack anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
- Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
- In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.
For every stress there is... an anti-stress
If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place new year holidays(12 points) and minor violation law (11 points).The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.
Let's pretend
The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, in this case a feeling of relaxation arises, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing a role calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced external condition.
Smile and yawn
Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when you smile, 42 facial muscles give a signal nervous system, starting the process of regulating breathing, relieving muscle tension, and releasing “hormones of happiness.” It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.
Let's understand the world around us
The most the best remedy when stress increases, maintain contact with your own self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on your computer, say to yourself, “I’m turning on the computer.”
Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple”, you just need to try it and make sure it’s effective simple tips, which will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.
Loading...