Midlife crisis in women 33. Trainings and seminars. How long does a midlife crisis last?

Strange as it may seem, but for a long time It was believed that the midlife crisis was an exclusively male problem. But women only experience menopause. But no one took into account that changes in a woman’s internal state begin much earlier – after the age of 40. Based on this, a theory was developed that women also suffer from a midlife crisis.

What is a woman's midlife crisis?

A woman's midlife crisis is characterized by a loss of meaning in her life, which leads to personality changes, dissatisfaction and depression. The main cause of the crisis is considered to be a revaluation of values, since certain experience has been accumulated over the past years. In this regard, outlook on life changes.

Unlike men, women have a much harder time surviving this condition, which is why no one takes this crisis seriously. Usually, by the age of 40, children grow up and begin to live an independent life; parents are no longer interested in this. And husbands perceive their wife’s psychological changes as ordinary whim or grumpiness. So women have to cope with this disease on their own.

Features of the crisis

Every woman experiences a midlife crisis differently. Because life priorities influence this. For example, if a woman devoted her entire youth to children, then as they grow up they cease to need care, as a result of which the mother feels unclaimed and begins to suffer. But the grandchildren will help speed up the end of the crisis, because the woman will feel needed again. The crisis is especially difficult for those who did not have time to have children. Thoughts begin to creep into women’s heads that their lives have been lived in vain, that no one needs them and that they will remain in splendid isolation in their old age. Especially if women do not have a husband.

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

Symptoms in women experiencing a midlife crisis may not appear immediately. It is very ambiguous, as it depends on the character of the person. One representative of the fairer sex may be capricious and cry, while the other, on the contrary, may show aggression. For this reason, all signs of crisis that are characteristic of women should be considered:

Some women begin an active fight against aging. They use expensive creams, make masks too often, visit cosmetologists and even decide to undergo plastic surgery. This is due to the fact that a woman develops depression, since compared to young girls she does not look so beautiful and charming. The fact is that during a midlife crisis (MAC), if it has developed due to aging, a woman is not able to realize that age-related changes are a normal phenomenon.
Behavior changes. Instead of behaving according to your age category, the woman begins to wear sexy and revealing clothes, trying to keep attention.
Some representatives of the fair sex completely change their social circle to a younger crowd.
A woman can speak the slang of youth and even take a lover much younger than her.
After living with her husband for many years, a woman may suddenly realize that he is not destined for her and file for divorce.
A woman can radically change her life - find new job, take training courses, change your place of residence, etc.
They begin to be active - playing sports, tourism, and generally living “to the fullest.”
Aggression or tearfulness may appear.
A woman stops thinking about tomorrow and making plans for the future, believing that her time has passed.
Some individuals decide to have one more child and it doesn’t matter to them what others say.
And other women begin to actively attribute non-existent problems and diseases to themselves.

The main reasons for the development of the crisis

All reasons for the development of a midlife crisis in women are associated with psychology, physiology and life circumstances. There are several of them:

At one “wonderful” moment, the woman realizes that the children no longer need her. Especially if children get married or go to study in another city. And this indicates the onset of old age, which cannot but depress. As a result of this, she is forced to change her usual way of life.
The realization that a woman may not have time to realize all her ideas and plans, because old age is approaching.
Due to age, responsibility towards all family members increases, which does not provide the opportunity to pursue one’s hobbies.
The absence of children or a husband develops a midlife crisis. The woman regrets that she was unable to give birth to a child, keep her husband, etc., and now it is impossible to do this.
Any woman dreams of a young partner. If it appears after 40 years, then others perceive this fact negatively. The woman realizes this and develops a feeling of shame, and then depression.
It also happens that the cause of SWR is satisfaction from all one’s desires. This leads to the fact that a woman understands: everything in life has been achieved, there is nothing to strive for.
Lack of energy and strength, frequent fatigue. This reason is present mainly among active women who are accustomed to doing several things at once, participating in the life of the work team, and generally solving many problems in a day. Due to age-related changes in a person’s body, a person’s performance decreases, which leads to a midlife crisis.
Changes in appearance play the most important role in the development of depression.
Hormonal imbalance causes the body's metabolism to slow down, which leads to a rapid gain of extra pounds. Plus, losing excess weight becomes more problematic.

How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman

The choice of method for overcoming a midlife crisis is individual in each individual case. Because it depends on the cause of the problem and the symptoms that appear. For example, if the SWR is accompanied increased aggressiveness, then the woman is recommended to take sedatives (sedatives). If, on the contrary, you experience tearfulness and despondency, you need to eat foods that promote the production of the joy hormone. In this case, the abundance of fresh vegetables, fruits and berries on the table helps a lot. Other methods of overcoming a crisis:

If the reason is separation from your husband, do not be upset and believe that fate has prepared for you a more reliable person, on whose shoulder you can lean in old age.
As children grow up, do not give up, because at any age they need maternal care and guardianship. It just seems that they no longer need their mother. In fact, it is at a young and slightly older age that children consciously approach mother's love. So just sit down and talk to your older child. IN as a last resort, you can take care of your neighbor's children or orphans. Many psychologists even recommend being happy that children are now living separately. Because you will have a lot of time for personal needs. What can we say about the possibility of resuming romantic relationship with my own husband!
You definitely need to part with the past and understand that every age has its own charms. Of course, youth cannot be returned, but at least you have behind you great experience and gained wisdom. This fact puts you above any young beauty. It is very important to accept your changed body – wrinkles, cellulite and other changes. Understand that this body has served you for over 40 years, so it deserves your respect. You can do plastic surgery, but is it really necessary? Love yourself for who you are. If you cannot do this on your own, seek help from a psychologist, go to training, read the relevant literature.
Believe in a wonderful future, because at any age a person can experience moments of happiness. Think about the fact that when you retire, you will be able to manage your time only as you see fit. You will have the opportunity to visit distant relatives, visit museums and theaters, go to meetings with friends, and go on vacation.
Now you can rightfully consider yourself as a mentor to the younger generation. Whether it's family or work. In any case, they will listen to you and even ask for advice, as from a wiser and more experienced person.
Eventually, you will be able to behave naturally in any society. This will give you optimism.
Find yourself a new hobby or interest, thanks to which you will not have time for sad thoughts about your own fate and age.
Get more rest and do hiking By fresh air, if necessary, take medications to improve the condition of the body. Thanks to this, you can avoid irritability and depression in general.
You need to continue to set goals and strive to achieve them. This way you won't lose your incentive to live.
There is no need to try to radically change your life, continue to live in your usual rhythm and never think about the bad.

How to prevent the development of a midlife crisis

No woman is immune from a midlife crisis, but some representatives of the fair sex still manage to avoid it. Because there are small tricks that you should not forget about:

The most important thing is to save positive mood and attitude to life at any age. Because this is the only way you can look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Enjoying every moment of life, you will have no time to pay attention to other little things.
Starting from the age of 30, make it a rule to develop healthy habits, because this will make it possible to save the desired energy reserve, strength and normal metabolism on long years. That is, you will not feel tired ahead of time, you will not be depressed, and you will not gain extra pounds. To achieve this result, you need to give preference proper nutrition And healthy image life. Don't stop playing sports even after 40.
Stay psychologically young. Namely, always remain young at heart.
Communicate more with positive people, relatives and friends. This will help build trust, so that when a crisis occurs, people will help and support you.
If you are visited frequently throughout your life depressive state, be sure to visit a psychologist and sign up for trainings. Because without professional help, it will be difficult for you to avoid a midlife crisis.

Features of the crisis age at 50 years old

It turns out that if a woman did not have a turning point before the age of 50, then it can occur at this age. Only now the crisis manifests itself a little differently, since after 40 years enough years have passed, the woman no longer pays attention to special attention to changes in appearance. Because she managed to get used to age-related changes. Consequently, the main reasons are physiology, that is, the onset of menopause. During this period, a woman may not control her serious actions, to the point that she will be capable of treason. Therefore, at this age it is extremely important to consult a psychologist.

If you cannot avoid a midlife crisis, you need to correctly set priorities and analyze all the circumstances that contribute to the aggravation of the problem. And remember that turning points can be turned in a different direction - change your life for the better, filling it with new meaning!

Midlife crisis in women is a relative concept. When does a woman experience this midlife crisis? It can start at 30, 40 or 50 years old. There are no clear boundaries. And this concept itself belongs to the field of psychology, and many authors interpret this concept and the crisis process itself in different ways. There is no medical diagnosis. I.V. Dubrovina defines the concept of “critical age” as something vague, which was still practically studied in the first third of the 20th century. And then the research stopped, but nevertheless the age crisis was seen as something obligatory and immutable. As a fact.

In Erikson’s concept, for example, a crisis is the period of formation of a psychological new formation. For example, in the period from 0 to 1 year, a person develops basic trust in the world around him as a whole. That is, in other words, how the people around him (first of all, his mother, of course) treat a person with sincere warmth or reject him, then accordingly he will treat the world around him in the same way. A crisis is also a period of rethinking your life. Therefore, a midlife crisis in both men and women is a common and widespread phenomenon.

When does a midlife crisis occur in women?

In developmental psychology, the life and development of a person as an individual is divided into more or less clear periods, each period has its own character traits. We behave differently with people of different ages. For example, it wouldn’t occur to us to talk about politics with a five-year-old child or tell an eighty-year-old grandmother about new telephones. It turns out that each age actually has its own characteristics. Or rather, the age period. The gradation is conditional, since the development of each person is unique.

If you follow the stages of age-related personality development ( age-related psychology Kulagina I.Yu. and Kolyutsky V.N.), then at approximately 30 years old, sometimes a little earlier or later, a person enters a critical period when he begins to rethink his life, looking back, sometimes realizing that he still has not achieved what he could be the meaning of life. Moreover, if, looking back, a woman realizes that her life is not arranged the way she wants, that despite external well-being, she is seriously lacking something, then this is clearly a manifestation of a crisis period.

Naturally, this feeling is not momentary; its duration can stretch for months, or even years. Let's give specific examples, based on the revelations of women, by which one can judge the presence of a midlife crisis:

"I have three children. Have husband. He works, I am on maternity leave with my 3rd child. Recent years two I began to notice that I became more irritable and dissatisfied with many things. I’m trying to develop as a person, I go to different exhibitions, I read. But I still don’t get satisfaction from life. Sometimes I feel like no one understands me. Since childhood, I wanted a big family. I received it. But why doesn’t anything make me happy anymore? What do I need to do to enjoy life again?” Anna, 32 years old.

"I am 37 years old. I borrow highly paid position. I have a luxurious apartment and a car, many friends. My daughter is studying abroad, she is 14 years old, I have been divorced for about 5 years. I am now in a relationship with two men at the same time, and one of them is 10 years younger than me. I have already jumped with a parachute, I go to the gym and the pool. Been to almost all European countries. But why do I want to kill someone every day and smash the whole apartment into pieces?” Maria, 37 years old.

“You know, I'm married. This is the second marriage. I myself don’t understand why I got married the first time, probably out of stupidity. Or rather, no, I thought that he loved me, but I didn’t have to love him. As a result, a child from his first marriage, then a divorce. To divorce my first husband, I went to great lengths. She cheated on her husband, more than once. And she told him about it directly. I don't know how he didn't kill me. I wanted an explosion of emotions. I received it in full. Then. And now I feel bad again. Second husband, second child. I think that in my youth I did not go out properly. Now I'm drawn to adventure. I don't want to cheat on my husband. But I don’t want to live like this anymore. Some kind of fire is choking me inside. I feel like if I don't get what I want, I'll just explode. I love my family. But for some reason I feel bad and I feel like I’m suffering, although everything seems to be fine. But what the hell do I want, I myself don’t understand!” Elena, 36 years old.

All three stories seem to be different, they have one thing in common - complete dissatisfaction with their lives. The midlife crisis in women is accompanied by a constant question - what to do? Although outwardly everything is fine. Their needs were met. Some have a job, some have a family, and some have both. They are financially organized, their social status is within the norm. And then how to survive a midlife crisis for women without losses? Why are they so essentially unhappy?

Causes of midlife crisis

A woman is unhappy if she only has external needs satisfied - marriage, career, sex, money and all the pleasures associated with satisfying these needs. Actually, speaking about women’s needs, it is appropriate to recall the 20th century psychoanalyst, Karen Horney, who, in her article on the revaluation of love, said that in the modern world a woman constantly makes considerable efforts (until now!) to achieve independence, to expand the circle of her interests and master “male” professions.

Society perceives this as more or less normal, if it is dictated only by the desire, roughly speaking, to survive in order to feed oneself and one’s family. But in essence, all this is contrary to her nature and has no vital significance for her. After all, all her thoughts should focus exclusively on male field in general (or on one of her men) and motherhood, that is, one way or another, marriage, with all the ensuing consequences. There is somehow no middle ground.

And if you remember the number of popular books on psychology or articles on the Internet, namely popular, non-scientific ones, then this is very similar to the truth. The names themselves speak for themselves: “How to forgive your husband for cheating,” “How to get married in three months,” “How to make a man fall in love with you,” and the like. It is unlikely that you will find a book for men “How to marry a woman”, but rather “How to persuade someone to have sex in 5 minutes”.

And women sometimes devote their lives to the struggle - for power, independence, money and career, constantly competing with men. But deep instincts, which were preceded by centuries-old traditions that such behavior is unfeminine, that with such behavior it is extremely difficult to find a man or even love him, literally rebel in a woman. Despite her strength, she wants to be weak... She faces an internal conflict.

In pursuit of external pleasures, which are allegedly taken as the main goals, a woman plunges into long-term stress. Gradually, just at a conscious age, she comes to the understanding that this is not all right. It doesn't bring happiness. But the second option is also not for her. A man may not be able to give her inner peace. Money and career will not help this. After all, her main motive for behavior as a whole invariably leads to obtaining external pleasure. And the woman will live in stress until she changes her motive to an essential, internal one. Until she learns to set goals correctly. And then she will be able to achieve, first of all, harmony with herself. This is also important for health, since in women a midlife crisis is often accompanied by symptoms various diseases. After all, the connection between somatic diseases (diseases of the body) and psychological state has long been proven.

The main reason for any crisis is the distortion of life values. And this fully applies to the midlife crisis in women. The point is not that each age has different values. They are alone at any age - this is a state of inner comfort and tranquility, harmony of the individual with the world around him and with himself. But how this harmony is achieved is a matter of a woman’s age and life experience.

Features of a woman’s personality development during a midlife crisis

Usually, by middle age, a woman has 2 main aspects of life - these are professional activity and family. By maturity (about 35-40 years), a woman no longer exhibits the maximalism inherent in youth. She becomes intelligent and more free-thinking. Essentially this is the heyday personal development women. Usually by this age her financial and social situation is stable.

But at the same time, the children had already grown up and became more independent. The woman experienced many troubles in life, and sometimes misfortunes - the death of loved ones (parents), a departure from total control over the lives of children. When a midlife crisis begins, it also implies changes family life. The couple is worried new stage relationships. If, for example, apart from children, the spouses had nothing in common, then the family may fall apart.

And sometimes, on this life stage serious changes occur in life, including changing professions or even entering into a new marriage.

A new meaning of life is being built. Often a woman's midlife crisis is accompanied by infidelity. Women drop everything and radically change their lives. Life during a crisis seems completely devoid of meaning, this makes the soul feel bitter, and dissatisfaction with oneself grows. Character changes. Far from it better side. The woman becomes deeply unhappy. And it may remain so for the rest of his life. Her mood is constantly pessimistic. I am overcome by attacks of inexplicable melancholy and sadness.

The main signs of a midlife crisis in women:

Dissatisfaction with your life.
Frequent mood swings - from incomprehensible sadness to inexplicable joy.
The desire to radically change your life or something in your life.
Sexual dissatisfaction (what used to bring pleasure no longer does).
The desire to “forget”
What seemed important just a year or two ago has become completely unimportant.
Mental “confusion” - clearly you want something and something is missing. It’s just not clear why.

Usually these signs are observed in combination. But if there are at least three, this is already a reason to think about it.

How to overcome a midlife crisis in women

A woman’s middle age (maturity) should not be regarded as a period of withering. Maturity is perhaps the most important stage in a woman's life. After all, it is at this age that the final formation of personality occurs. During this period, a woman usually reveals herself as fully as she can, using her abilities and creativity to the fullest. This is a time to expand life prospects.

It is specifically designed to fulfill its purpose and pass on all its life experience and knowledge to the next generation. If marriage was created not out of love, but out of necessity, then it is during this period that it becomes clear that this is only a heavy burden that a woman is sometimes unable to part with.

And the meaning of life is not in material wealth or external pleasures, which becomes clear over time, it is in something deeper. It is about the importance of moral development, first of all. In realizing oneself as a person who accepts oneself completely and unconditionally. The onset of a midlife crisis is not inevitable. Someone will pass him safely.

Our ladies were underestimated. Just a few years ago, it was believed that a midlife crisis is the privilege of men, and the fair half of humanity is simply inflating gloomy thoughts and whims.

People's problems during this period were first discussed in 1965. It was then that such a term appeared, and they themselves physiological characteristics began to be classified as a destructive disorder.

Numerous studies show that when a woman experiences a midlife crisis, the vast majority experience serious health problems nervous system. Emotional instability increases sharply, leading to global disruptions in everyday life.

Our young ladies are destined to experience all the “delights” of the age period a little earlier than men. The midlife crisis comes to women at the age of 35-45.

What to expect

Psychologists have long studied this period in the lives of women and its symptoms. At this time, a person falls into a kind of borderline state, in which his personality ceases to function as before. There is a complete revaluation of values.

The midlife crisis in women is very similar to the period of adolescence.

With just one difference. There will be no help, no one will give you, as in your youth, valuable advice or tell you what to do. Poor women have to endure internal conflicts and with my own hands save yourself. Otherwise, there is a risk of diseases of the digestive, nervous and cardiovascular systems.

Will the crisis definitely come?

Unfortunately, yes, it always comes. This is a completely natural phenomenon, a kind of wave that transfers a person from one age category to another. But you can survive this period quite successfully and learn valuable lessons that will help you approach life meaningfully and joyfully in the future.

Signs of Coming Difficulties

How to distinguish an upcoming female midlife crisis from the usual blues, bad mood or just PMS?

Feeling of self-doubt.

Everything is gone, left behind best years, and hopelessness lies ahead. The paths back are collapsed, there is no way forward, there is a dead end. Meetings with best friends become joyless. There is a feeling of losing something very important. Romances with men? But when they come to an end, the memories are not pleasing, but only devastate.

There is a loss of habitual life guidelines in women. She is lost and has no idea what she can do to fill her future life.

Regret about unfulfilled

There is constant dissatisfaction with the life lived. Women begin to believe that they took the wrong road, studied in the wrong place, started a family with the wrong reasons, and chose the wrong job. Now everything in ordinary life begins to cause deep disgust.

This condition is very dangerous, its symptoms tend to develop and affect the psyche. A person begins to dig deeper into past moments of life, while at the same time being disgusted by the present reality.

Dissatisfaction with appearance

The midlife crisis for women operates on all fronts. Now the reflection in the mirror causes nothing but despondency. Even if everything is in order, the brain perceives information in a distorted form. Now the extra grams seem like a huge addition of several kilograms, and an unnoticeable gray hair is terrifying. Not to mention cellulite and the first wrinkles.

Almost always the perception of one’s appearance during this period is false. Especially when women are already initially negative. Therefore, during a crisis, a person will always be dissatisfied with himself (even if there is no reason for this).

Fear of diseases

During the crisis period, the raging hormonal system. But instead of calmly visiting a gynecologist and straightening out the female hormonal background, many begin to self-medicate. Trips to the pharmacy are becoming commonplace. And various ailments caused by uncontrolled hormones are perceived as deadly illnesses.

Symptoms of a crisis period

There are a number important signs, which are very difficult not to notice and not to feel. Midlife crisis causes women various symptoms influencing her behavior during this period. All the nuances listed below must be considered as a whole.

Boredom, constant apathy and reluctance to do anything.
The desire to change partners, an irresistible craving for a new relationship.
Aversion to existing work, leading to nervous breakdowns.
The female body exhibits unreasonable swings in mood (intense despair is instantly replaced by unbridled joy).
Inexplicable anxiety, a feeling that something bad is about to happen.
Depressed mood when nothing makes you happy. It can last several days.
An emerging habit of deep introspection, usually depressive. Searching for bad qualities within yourself.
Palpable envy of more successful friends, provoking quarrels and negativity.
Increasing attempts to completely change established life, from place of residence to family relationships.

If similar symptoms are observed separately, then a midlife crisis is not yet threatening. But we need to start sounding the alarm when the symptoms are observed in a single complex. This development of events very often leads to the appearance deep depression and negatively affects all aspects of life. Everyone around the woman suffers (children, husband, relatives, close friends and work colleagues).

Don't make mistakes!

Sometimes the violent emotions raging inside a person and the inability to cope with them lead to strange and sometimes very unpleasant actions. When a man experiences a midlife crisis, he usually buries himself headlong into work. But emotional, sensitive ladies behave differently. Their hasty actions sometimes lead to irreparable consequences, further aggravating the difficult time.

Radical change

In an attempt to change everything, especially desperate women may decide to move to another unfamiliar country, leave the husband with whom they created harmonious relationships. Or radically change your appearance, sometimes not for the better, or sell a boring, albeit successful business.

Spontaneous, rash decisions made in the heat of the moment can lead to the loss of stable status, a harmonious home atmosphere, and serious financial difficulties.

Alcohol and stimulants

When a midlife crisis looms, women trying to change existing reality and to escape from internal conflicts, they rush to extremes. And they begin to seek oblivion in alcohol or other stimulants. At first it really helps, creating a feeling of euphoria and lightness.

But a little later, the deceptive optimistic feeling flows into global problems with health and deep depression.

Features of the women's crisis

How exactly this period will unfold depends on many factors. First of all, from the priorities that the woman had. The crisis period can be aggravated by children growing up and leaving the family (if up to this point all the woman’s time and energy had been devoted to children).

Divorce, which often leads to a midlife crisis, can also complicate the passage of a difficult time. The loss of a husband provokes hasty decisions to radically change something in one’s life, to have as many partners as possible, which further devastates a woman’s soul.

According to the observations of experts, the hardest time is for those people who do not have children. The emptiness that surrounds childless women in the gravest life period, further convinces them of the meaninglessness of existence. Having children allows you to slightly alleviate your dissatisfaction with yourself. You can justify your own shortcomings by the fact that raising children took a lot of time, and there was no energy left to take care of yourself.

Midlife crisis - enough hard times, which needs to be given maximum attention and full knowledge what happens to the body. This is the only way to calmly, without losses, endure a difficult period and enter a new, more optimistic stage of life.

There comes a time in the life of every representative of the fair sex when it seems that everything around is falling apart at the seams, and the ground is disappearing from under our feet. And it doesn’t matter at all whether this lady is successful or has always been unhappy in life. This famous midlife crisis in women is so individual that its boundaries cannot be clearly defined - some people begin to perceive the world differently at the age of 30, while others life values They begin to change only after 40.

Description

After 40 years, a woman may have the feeling that time is not endless, and then the need to realize is especially acute: “What am I living for? Am I going there? What else do I want to achieve? What should you make the most important thing in your life now?

Someone changes their profession, someone gets divorced, someone gets married, someone gives birth to a child, someone takes a lover, someone learns to draw, sculpt, sing.

If a woman after 35 is still or no longer married, she begins to rush around, rush and may commit rash acts. If there is no child, then the leading question becomes childbirth.

Important! Children are an important confirmation that a woman has not lived half her life in vain.

Children can also be used to justify some “shortcomings”, for example, not finishing college because a child was born or gaining weight after childbirth.

Married women A midlife crisis usually occurs when a child is ready for independent life. If he leaves, the parents begin to quarrel, because now topics of family conflicts emerge that were previously hushed up, postponed and not resolved.

Important! To avoid dangerous clarifications, a woman can turn her attention towards the other partner.

The new body image of a “middle-aged woman” is also causing protest. Closer to forty, metabolic processes in a woman’s body slow down, muscle mass decreases and the amount of fat increases. And this natural process. In addition, it is “warmed up” by stress and anxiety.

Causes

We can identify the main problems that cause a midlife crisis. Most of them are very relevant to the modern pace of life.

The need arises to change the orientation of a particular activity from physical to mental. Very often this occurs as a result of significant changes in the physiology of the body.
Some biological changes in middle age in men can lead to a forced recognition of social priorities above sexual ones.
Events such as quarrels, losses of friends and loved ones, disruption of previously established life routines cause specific emotional impoverishment. As a result of this condition, there is a need to create some emotional flexibility.
The need to overcome previously established mental straightforwardness. The need to develop some mental agility.
Excessive separation between different life interests, such as work and family, which conflict with each other. Such “collisions” most often lead middle-aged people to disaster.
Excessive attention to the emerging problem of impending old age and one’s probable death.
Quite often the reason is her own reflection in the mirror: a woman is driven into despair by watching her gray hair appear, wrinkles form, and her overall appearance change.

Interesting to know! The process of external aging in women develops somewhat faster than in men.

Signs

Recognizing a midlife crisis in a woman is not so difficult. In addition, it can manifest itself as external changes, and in outlook on life.

You are already over 30 years old, and thoughts about age haunt you: it seems that you are getting old, your youth is irretrievably gone and you are turning into an old woman.
You are afraid to look in the mirror because you are disappointed by the appearance of wrinkles, brittle and dull hair.
Everything starts to irritate you: husband, children, colleagues, boss - you notice the smallest shortcomings of the people around you that didn’t bother you at all before.
Nostalgia for your past life begins: you increasingly think that all the dreams of your youth remained unrealized plans.
More and more often you think about your health, that you need to go get checked, get examined and take vitamins.

Observe: it’s not just a matter of chronic fatigue or nervous overstrain. The midlife crisis in women is characterized primarily by a radical change in life priorities:

you begin to care about health rather than beauty;
you think less and less about men, but you constantly think about the fact that you have failed in your life in the professional sphere;
More and more often you listen to the arguments of the mind, while you order your heart and feelings to remain silent.

Positive sides

There are women who are more family-oriented, and there are those whose main thing is their career. If both work and family are important to a woman, then such a woman in the middle of her life evaluates herself on two counts, and, of course, is more critical of herself. Such ladies experience a “midlife crisis” violently and painfully.

Important! However, this is a time not only of the pain of loss, but also of the joy of gain.

A midlife crisis is an opportunity to think about yourself and your life, sum up some intermediate results, evaluate from the height of your own experience what you have succeeded in, what you can be proud of, and what you want to improve, correct, change, while you still have time and resources .

If much did not happen in accordance with our dreams, then the main feelings are shame, guilt, bitterness. Then it is necessary to mourn unfulfilled hopes, grieve over missed opportunities, before setting new goals and looking for new meanings.

A psychologist can help here. He won’t write a list of new life goals for you, but he will help you analyze your condition and potential. Together you will find not only a way out of the crisis, but also an entrance into new period own life.

The most important thing during this period is to focus on what you can do, and not on what you may not be able to do. Instead of suffering, think about what you are proud of and don’t forget to praise yourself!

Advice! Be realistic and accept that not all dreams come true. By the way, it is not yet known what would happen to you if everything that you dreamed about at a young age came true in life.

How to help yourself?

At this stage, you need to achieve rational knowledge of yourself and your essence.

Stop judging yourself as a superhero. You are an ordinary woman with your own strengths and weaknesses. You don't owe anyone anything. If you have succeeded as a wife and mother, now is the time to try yourself in a career. If not, this is not a reason to lose composure and self-respect. You are not perfect, but you shouldn't be loved for being perfect. Be yourself and don't let perfectionism ruin your life.
Give yourself pleasure. Don't regard life as a result, look at it as a process from which you can enjoy. Find activities that bring you joy and spiritual pleasure, be it going to a beauty salon or painting lessons.
Consider hobbies and a new career. Ask yourself the question: “What would I want to do if all professions in the world paid exactly the same?” Start from the answer given to it.
Don't focus on children. If you don’t have them, and this brings you the greatest unhappiness, understand that now you can become a mother even after 50 years, which is readily proven by figures from the Russian stage, cinema and business. And if you have them, and you want more, but realize that this is impossible, think about the fact that grandchildren are waiting for you ahead, and this is a completely different, truly magical feeling. This will instill in you the true thought that life goes on and does not stop until death.
Give love. It's time to dull your egoism and start giving love from the bottom of your heart. Make adjustments to your family routine, establish some personal traditions, spend time with your husband more often, and sincerely thank him for everything he has done for you.
Allow yourself the luxury of communicating only with those you like. Your boss can be an exception, and erase from your phone the numbers of those who annoy you or take advantage of you shamelessly.

A midlife crisis is a signal given to a person so that he can act. People suddenly remember that they live contrary to their own nature and want to urgently correct the situation.

A crisis is designed to draw a person’s attention to what is happening in his soul. There are a number of tips to help you deal with this difficult period.

Self-realization
Those who feel strongly about professional insecurity and want recognition should find a hobby that they love. Self-realization is not necessarily expressed in the construction successful business. Just be flexible, learn to see new opportunities and opening prospects.
Strengthening your relationship with your partner
In times of crisis, relationships with your other half also suffer. To strengthen your union, spend time with your loved one. You shouldn’t focus only on yourself, although a midlife crisis encourages you to do just that. It’s best to start spending evenings together, going to thematic meetings that will be interesting to both.
Watch your appearance
Both women and men in crisis need to watch their appearance. During the development of a midlife crisis, any small failure can unsettle, deprive peace of mind. It is important to feel well-groomed and outwardly attractive. Don't forget to take care of yourself, even if you don't feel like doing it.
Don't cut from the shoulder
No matter how unbearable external circumstances may seem to you, you should not try to change everything in one fell swoop. There is no need to immediately file for divorce and break up with the person with whom you have lived for a long time. Don't quit your job until you're sure you can succeed in your job. new profession. You should act gradually, do not cut from the shoulder. Test the waters carefully, trying to understand what would be considered the best solution for you.

First of all, it is important to acknowledge that you are going through this stage in life. This will help you clear your mind and move on, while denial can prolong this period.

Awareness of the problems and understanding of the things you would like to change should lead to an improvement in the standard of your life and ensure its continued stability.

Accept yourself and your age - consider its advantages. Yes, you are no longer 16, but you are no longer as stupid as you were at 16, and at your 35 years old, you are a woman in the prime of life, mature beauty and you already have experience and wisdom - and they are worth a lot.
Take care of yourself - if you don’t love yourself, take care of yourself, value yourself, no one will do it for you.
In order to be respected, you need to achieve this respect. Become them for your children best friend, don’t get hung up on just family concerns, try to expand your horizons and don’t miss the opportunity to learn and try something new.
Make your husband interested in you - but not with the help of scandals or tears and cries that “no one understands you,” but with the help of a mysterious smile, a new hairstyle, beautiful underwear.
Like Baron Munchausen, pull yourself out of the quagmire of a midlife crisis by your hair - step by step, centimeter by centimeter.

Most often, the midlife crisis occurs in women aged 35-40 years. Women, unlike men, spend their whole lives pursuing their main goals: building a career, getting married and having beautiful children. For a woman it has great importance home and family. Not every woman can perfectly combine housework, raising children and a career. Somewhere and in something she is not keeping up. Then she begins to think and worry about what she did wrong, why she didn’t achieve what she wanted. And then the worst moments in life emerge. In this state, a woman tries to change everything, makes desperate attempts and most often to no avail.

The main causes of the crisis in women

Appearance. Nowadays there is a cult of beauty and eternal youth. Women go to great lengths to prolong their youth. But you can’t escape nature. With the appearance of the first wrinkles and the first gray hair, the mood of any woman changes. Even training can't cope physical fitness. Elasticity is lost and overweight. And what is the woman thinking about? That along with her youth she will lose her female happiness. That the husband will find someone else, young and beautiful. And at work, more and more preference is given to young specialists. It's very difficult to accept yourself as you get older. And then the woman experiences periods of anger and despair.
Physiological changes. By the age of 40 it gradually decreases reproductive function women. Menstruation is irregular and fewer and fewer eggs are produced. Happening hormonal changes. Some women who do not have children suffer greatly from the fact that they did not realize their main task, did not give birth. This is also the reason why husbands leave for younger people and leave the family. How to live now when there is no husband, no children and youth is leaving.
Unrealized plans. Some women devoted all their energy and time to family and children and did not complete their career plans. And now they can push family and children into the background and rush to catch up with what they lost. In this state, a woman is ready to make any sacrifice just to achieve her goal.
Change of generations. At this age, a woman can lose her parents. This can lead to serious depression. Children grow up, get married or get married and leave their home. Sometimes even getting married doesn't bring much joy. The house is empty, but what to do next?

From the reasons listed above, it becomes clear in what psychological state there may be a woman. A long-term depressive state affects both relationships with your husband and relationships with work colleagues.

Main symptoms:

Boredom and complete apathy.
Desire to change jobs.
Change your husband or find a lover.
Constant fear and anxiety.
Low self-esteem.
Frequent mood swings from tears to unmotivated fun.

During this period of life, the support and help of loved ones is needed. In more severe cases Psychologists and psychotherapists will come to help.

Ways to overcome the crisis

Let go of the past. You cannot return your old life and youth. You can only take care of yourself and remain attractive at any age. Leave the past once and for all, live in the present and future.
Faith in a good future. If you missed something in your career, you can try to learn something new. You may not yet know about all your talents and capabilities. Child care adult life rate it as joy. Now you and your husband can be together more, you can realize your plans. You may have a desire to go on a trip.
Search for stimulus. Perhaps after 40 you will become a grandmother. Isn't this wonderful? We lived for the sake of our children, and now also for our grandchildren. And at work you can undergo retraining or start something new. The main thing is that your work brings you pleasure.