Before we dive headfirst into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.
Confidence is knowing that what you have will later become what you want and make you happier. This necessary condition so that an idea becomes an action.
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal is coming up, to raise your hand when a big deal appears interesting project, or speak at a conference (and without any anxiety!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, expand your boundaries and set a course for success.
Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.
1. Act confident
As strange as it may sound, to learn to be truly confident, you can first fake confidence. IN wildlife some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend too.
Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and reality. life situation. If these two aspects do not correspond to each other, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts, because of which all self-confidence disappears. So what should we do?
Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both the tone of your voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain “sufficient reason” to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear on its own.
2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others expect from you.
The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts or know about your fears and anxiety.
The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (thought up by you) issue.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (don’t get scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Try a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you feel a lack of self-confidence.
By simply recording and analyzing your self-talk, you'll be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating these thoughts.
In addition, it is useful to write down and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel important, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.
Every time your inner voice is getting out of control, take a three-minute break, pick up a list and remind yourself how good you can be. Provide your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.
3. Monitor your physical condition
I understand that it is a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché did not appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly play sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, don't sleep enough, and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show off to the world. better version myself.
You don't need to train until you drop for several hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual lifestyle and gradually get used to them.
Difficulties and, accordingly, stress need to be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to trick yourself so that both physical and mental health are in balance.
4. Increase your output, change your internal dialogue
Do you know why most people's communication skills leave much to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their affection, they think about how not to blurt out something stupid and what smart thing to say next. main reason such behavior: they were poorly prepared.
It is almost impossible to be truly confident in yourself if you have not prepared enough to show yourself with the best side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?
If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and receive the same genuine interest in response.
This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to make an impression at any event.
Take the time to research materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent doing this activity will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get positive feedback? You guessed it - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.
5. Fail fast, fail often.
A terrifying word that paralyzes even outstanding people and prevents them from achieving success - failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.
But failures happen in our lives, it’s simply inevitable. In fact, if you don't make mistakes, it means you're not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Sethi’s saying more often: “It’s not a failure, it’s a test.”
You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.
And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another “failure,” you realize that you don’t feel empty. After all, it is these experiences that help you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
This topic still continues to be relevant.
What is confidence needed for? Everyone will answer this question differently, but I know for sure that confidence is needed to become successful person in all areas of your life. Besides, confident people more fortunate, but more on that below. Confidence is in every successful person, in every leader. Give at least one example of a truly successful and rich person who was not self-confident. I don’t really know such people, what about you? I'm sure not either.
How to be confident?
Surely many of us have asked the question at least once in our lives: “How to be confident in yourself?” . Many of us also asked questions: how to become confident that you are right under absolutely any circumstances, how to avoid pressure from others? After all, situations often arise when a person, fearing difficulties and, refuses something, perhaps even very important in his life.
And also if, God forbid, this happens, the person immediately begins to hang his nose, apathy arises and he doesn’t want to do anything. All these are precisely the very signs of self-doubt that should be fought. How to fight?
There are two types of uncertainty. The first type of uncertainty is internal - these are our thoughts, thinking, principles, philosophy and self-esteem. The second type of uncertainty is external - when our thoughts manifest themselves in actions, actions that are sometimes far from ideal.
Developing self-confidence is time-consuming and painstaking work. But rest assured that this work will pay off, and you will receive an incomparable return. Let's answer the question: “What is uncertainty and why does it arise?” Uncertainty is fear. This is to do or say something wrong, because people will laugh at you and begin to judge you. Who needs it? Uncertainty is also about the fact that your life may change in negative side because of the actions or words of other people. IN in this case people prefer to keep their mouths shut and just go with the flow, although deep down they may be tormented by resentment due to injustice. But despite this, they will still keep their mouth tightly shut. This is not something that SHOULD be dealt with, it needs to be fought. You need to boldly say it straight to your face if you really feel it.
It is important to do not what you need, but what you want. After all, you can live your whole life, succumbing to the influence of others. And this will definitely not give you spiritual harmony.
And again the question arises: How to become confident? And this question will arise until you begin to take specific measures.
- First you need. To do this, get yourself a notebook or notepad in which you will write every time the situations that made you feel insecure, confused, afraid, or want to escape.
- Then, describe in detail your feelings, what reactions you had to this or that situation, what did you do? This is necessary for self-analysis, especially since it will be easy for you to re-read it after this or that situation is resolved. Also, do not forget to write down all your victories and achievements, while writing down your feelings and thoughts.
- When your notebook or notebook contains several written pages, then you will already have a huge reason to consider yourself.
So, back to the question again: How to be confident? You can overcome your insecurity in another way. For example, every morning when you wake up and get out of bed, think about how many obstacles you have overcome, how much you have achieved. Believe me, the list of your victories is much larger than you can imagine. You can talk about them while looking in the mirror. The main thing is to be in good mood and smile. After every step you take, don’t think about what other people will say. Forget about problems. Think about them only when they have already appeared and need to be addressed now. Remember, thoughts materialize (Read the article). Why do you need to attract negativity to yourself?
Developing self-confidence is not easy, but if there is a burning desire, then every person can do it. The main thing is to stop and start permanent job above oneself.
There is a belief that when a person writes his fears in a notebook, he seems to be freed from them. Believe in this method, and then everything will definitely work out for you. Another powerful way to become self-confident is to plunge into it. Face your fears. You ask how? Lie down on the bed and close your eyes, then imagine something that you are truly afraid of. this moment. This could be absolutely any situation. In the process, try to analyze your actions. This is necessary in order to be physically and mentally prepared for them. It’s just that when you are ready, you are not so scared. Having imagined the situation several times, you are no longer afraid that this will happen to you, and you become more confident in yourself.
If the question is: “How to be confident in yourself?” is still relevant for you, that is, one more powerful method. And this method is that you need to come up with an unusual hobby. Learn to do what others can't do. Feel like a special person. If you feel like a special person, then others will be able to feel it too.
After all, you will be able to do what they cannot do. And then you will become for someone the person they need to look up to.
Answering the question: “How to be confident in yourself?” , I want to motivate you. The fact is that confident people are more successful in life than insecure people. The main thing here is not to overdo it. After all, it is better to be truly confident and lucky than to appear so. And yet in specific situations feigned confidence can help you. For example, when you are trying to make a first impression on your boss or work team. The first impression is etched in your memory for a long time, and much in the future depends on it, namely what your future relationships and further communication with this or that person will be like.
By the way, I forgot to answer your question: "What is confidence?". Confidence- this is not only the absence of fear, it is, first of all, the knowledge that you will be able to cope with absolutely any difficulty, as well as the knowledge that everything will be fine for you. That is, confidence is also the absence of doubt. That's right, uncertainty arises not only because of fear, it also arises when you doubt something: “Will I be able to cope at the interview?”, “Will I be able to make the right impression on the interviewer?” When a person begins to doubt, he not only hesitates in making a decision, he does not know what will happen to him if he does exactly this and not otherwise. A truly confident person behaves as he sees fit. A self-confident person understands that his behavior, his decision will lead him to the results he needs. Now do you understand why confident people are more successful in life?
Let's assume that you are confident only occasionally. In one team you are sociable and confident, while in another you are silent and withdrawn. In this case, I strongly recommend that you go to a psychologist. No offense. A psychologist will help you identify the causes of your internal self-doubt, and will also give recommendations that will help you solve the problem of insecurity. Or do everything I gave you above.
Now let's go back to . What is luck? Many people just find themselves in in the right place and in right time. And for many years it was believed (and still is) that luck is a matter of chance. However, in the twentieth century, the best psychologists made several important discoveries. Why do you think luck smiles on the lucky ones very often (it’s not just a matter of confidence)? Why do rich people get richer and poor people get poorer? In 2003, a book was published called "The Luck Factor". In it with scientific point view tells about the psychological differences between the lucky ones. If you are one of the losers, and something constantly falls out of your hands, I again recommend that you contact a professional psychologist who will quickly understand the reasons for your eternal failures and help you turn your life around 180 degrees. I can only give a few recommendations on how to look more confident and, accordingly, more successful.
The well-being of a person’s life largely depends on his behavior and thinking. To be self-confident, it is necessary to have adequate self-esteem, that is, the correspondence of a person’s real capabilities with his expectations about his capabilities. Inadequate self-esteem, either overestimated or underestimated, not only interferes with communication, but also greatly impedes. Delusions of grandeur are an overestimation of one's abilities and capabilities, as well as self-affirmation at the expense of other people's achievements. Such a person thinks that he is always right everywhere and in everything and other people should listen to him and obey him. An inferiority complex is when a person does not want to believe in his success and does not take any action to achieve it. To increase your luck, you not only need to be confident in yourself, but you also need to learn to listen to your own. Intuition should not let you down. Imagine how lucky you are during an important interview or meeting.
To summarize the article, which answers the question: “How to be confident in yourself?”, do not forget to follow the same steps that are written above. If they don't help you, go to a psychologist. I was told that this helps. Remember, the causes of uncertainty are fear and doubts, which are not easy to get rid of, but you need to get rid of them. In this article we also touched on the topic of luck, which also depends on confidence and which is the reason for becoming a confident person.
How to be confident
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It’s good to be a confident person, and not just good, but very good, and at the same time pleasant, profitable, interesting and quite promising. Confident people achieve great success in this life, because their confidence allows them to be quite active people in life and act in situations in which insecure people prefer to remain inactive. Unfortunately, not many people have self-confidence, and not because we are born confident or insecure people, but because, due to various circumstances, we become who we become. Hence the prevalence of this problem - the problem of self-doubt, because most people become insecure people rather than confident ones, they are depressed and downtrodden, they are morally weak and cowardly, and it is difficult for them to live with all this. Many people are dissatisfied with themselves because they feel, and less often understand, their insecurity, while feeling their weakness.
But I hasten to assure you that no matter how you have been molded until now, you can certainly change for the better, in the direction you need. You can become a more confident person if you take the time to put some effort into working on yourself. A person can always change, it’s just a pity that he doesn’t always want to. Nature created man in such a way that he could adapt to any conditions and achieve any goals, so if a person wants, he can. High self-esteem and self-confidence are not permanent personality traits at all; high self-esteem may decrease, and self-confidence may simply disappear. Life, friends, can break anyone. But not everyone agrees to break. Well, since something can disappear and decline, it means that something can appear and grow, one cannot exist without the other. So, don’t lose heart, under no circumstances, because everything about you and me is fixable, no matter what anyone says. If you have a problem with self-confidence, then after studying this material, rest assured that you will definitely cope with it.
And first, let's find out what confidence is. Confidence is faith, the firm, flawless, unshakable faith a person has in someone or something. And when we talk about self-confidence, we are talking about a person’s faith in himself. Friends, believing in yourself is, in fact, absurd. Below I will explain why. But the discomfort that we experience due to our lack of this stupid faith, it is really real and we can feel it, and we, of course, would like to get rid of it. I would call what we used to call self-confidence - self-understanding, and uncertainty - misunderstanding. So if you are not confident in yourself, then your problem is that you simply do not understand yourself. You don’t know or understand yourself, you don’t know all your capabilities, and you also don’t understand how our world works. Otherwise, you would not doubt yourself at all, the only person in this world whom you should and can trust unconditionally.
Now let's answer another question - why do we need to be confident people, why do we need to know about our capabilities and understand ourselves? I have already said above that a confident person is capable of achieving much greater results in life than an insecure one. What can I say, self-doubt generally deprives a person of any chance of success, it makes him mediocre and inconspicuous, capable only of obeying other people’s orders. Insecure people are losers. And you don't want to be a failure, right? So, the question of why you need self-confidence is a stupid question. You want to be a winner, not a loser! You want better life, not a miserable existence! You want success, not failure! You want to express yourself, you want to succeed in this life as a person, and not be a gray, nondescript spot all your life, the disappearance of which no one will even notice. You want to be a person, not a function, not consumables. This is why you need to be confident. That's why you need to understand yourself and know about the possibilities that are hidden within you.
Well, now it's time to ask yourself the most important issue– how to become a confident person? This can be done either through emotional sphere, pumping up your psyche and raising your self-esteem with the help in various ways self-hypnosis, but you can also through awareness come to a state of self-confidence. In the first case, the result is achieved quickly, but it is not stable and short-lived; a person who supports his confidence with emotions can go out just as quickly as he lit up. Therefore, I do not seriously consider all these psychological pumping, all these suggestions and self-hypnosis, aimed exclusively at a person’s subconscious, although they have an effect, this must be admitted. For me, only a person’s complete understanding of who he is and what he is will allow him to once and for all gain self-confidence and, regardless of external circumstances, remain confident until the end of his life. Likewise, it is worth saying that no external factors should not affect a person’s self-confidence, their own strengths and capabilities, the external world should not shape our inner world, on the contrary, it is our inner world that should shape the external world. But it is not easy to achieve this, this is understandable, it is hard and long-term, disciplined work on oneself, the result of which is only possible if a person approaches it seriously and responsibly, if he really wants to gain real, impeccable self-confidence.
Thus, understanding that in order to gain self-confidence, we need to know and understand ourselves well, and not just engage in self-hypnosis, since this is less effective method make yourself a confident person, especially on long time, then let's get back to understanding what confidence is. The word “confidence” comes from the word “faith,” as we found out. What is faith? This is the recognition of something as true, something that does not need any proof for us. And when we talk about self-confidence, are we talking about the faith of whom and in what, or better yet, about the faith of whom and in whom are we talking? We are talking about our faith in ourselves, not in something ephemeral, but in ourselves, in ourselves. Do you need proof that you, a person, an individual, exist? I'm sure they are not needed. You deal with yourself every day, you don’t need to prove to yourself that you exist. What then do you need to prove to yourself? Oh, yes, opportunities, you rightly doubt that, unless of course you are unsure of yourself, that is, you don’t believe in yourself, that you can do something, that you are capable of something. Well, you have reasons not to believe it, but, you see, friends, you can check it. You can check what you can do and what you are capable of. What needs to be done to check this? It is necessary to act! Do you agree? You must act, you must be active person, to know exactly what you are capable of and which tasks you can handle and which you cannot. Without activity, without real action, you will never know what possibilities are hidden within you and what you can achieve with them.
Let’s say I don’t know whether I can, say, succeed in mathematics and become a good mathematician or not. Judging by the results of my work, I turned out to be a good psychologist. In any case, I try very hard - I work and study a lot to be a good and even first-class psychologist, if possible the best. And I will definitely become the best! How could it be otherwise, it won’t do otherwise. But as for mathematics, I don’t even know for sure whether I can or cannot succeed in it. But you know what, I’m deceiving you a little, to be more precise, I didn’t know whether I could or couldn’t succeed in mathematics until I won the math Olympiad at school. I knew mathematics well then, it was easy for me, and that’s why I won this Olympiad. Then, as far as I remember, I won something else, but I don’t remember what exactly, because I didn’t attach much importance to all these victories. I just participated in various competitions when I was good at school, just because the teachers asked me to. But these competitions, and my victories in some of them, including the Mathematical Olympiad, seemed absolutely meaningless to me; I did not see any benefit in them for myself. In general, there was no such benefit. The benefits come not from fictitious competitions, but from those that we have to face in life. But life tests people in its own way.
So, before I achieved fairly modest success in mathematics, I did not know what I was capable of. But I found out when I achieved a real result, I achieved it with hard work, I’ll say right away, but I achieved it. Although mathematics was easy for me, to win the Olympiad I needed to study it thoroughly. Which is what I did. After achieving a certain result, through effort, discipline and patience, and not through talent alone, I no longer needed to believe in myself to understand that I could actually achieve the goal I had set for myself if I put in the necessary effort. You see, I already knew what I could achieve by achieving this. You need to take action to increase your self-confidence. By gritting our teeth, overcoming pain, suffering failures, we move forward, achieving our goals and becoming more confident in ourselves. By acting, we turn our dreams into reality, fairy tales into reality. We kill our self-doubt with our activity! After all, your lack of self-confidence, friends, originates from your reluctance to do something - from your laziness. And your reluctance to do something, your laziness, in turn, originates from your fear of this or that action. And your fear, friends, originates from your lack of understanding of something that you are afraid of. So ask yourself – what exactly are you afraid of? Really themselves? Are you afraid that you won’t be able to cope with some task that you have never done before, with some difficulties that you have never encountered before, do you doubt that your capabilities are as limitless as those of other people? Come on, it’s certainly great to consider yourself an exception, but not to the same extent. You need to think better about yourself and not be afraid of your own powerlessness. You can do everything that other people can, and all you need is to just start acting, according to a certain algorithm, of course, but the main thing you need is action. Commit it.
Thus, we should not be talking about self-confidence, forget about faith, but about a person’s understanding of himself, through his testing of his capabilities in this or that matter. Why should we believe in ourselves, that we watch ourselves on TV, or what? We are here and now, we don’t need faith as such, we only need to understand which qualities we currently have are well developed and which are poorly developed. If you are physically weak, then you are unlikely to lift a heavy barbell; you will agree, this is logical and natural. It is also logical to assume that you will not learn to ride a bicycle the first time, because if you have never ridden it before, then at least once, but you should fall off it, at least for the sake of decency. And so in all matters. You friends, you need experience to believe in yourself, to understand your capabilities, to get used to yourself and your capabilities. It is believed that predominantly positive experiences contribute to gaining self-confidence, but if you are an intelligent person, then negative experiences will also benefit you because they will help you understand a lot. Just think about how great it is to make mistakes when you do something. You will immediately learn what not to do, you will learn the laws of the universe through trial and error. A positive experience gives you one idea of life, and a negative experience another, and as you yourself understand, it is better to see and understand the whole of life than just a separate fragment of it. Therefore, even if you are lucky and you get lucky all the time and you never make mistakes, or you do nothing to avoid mistakes and failures because you are afraid of them, then it is absolutely necessary for you to make mistakes and fail, well, at least once. You really need this to become more mature and wiser, to diversify your life, in the end. Act, make mistakes, fail, fall in order to rise, so that through mistakes and failures you can pave your way to success. There is nothing to believe in here, you just have to take it and do what you need to do. So what kind of uncertainty is there that prevents you from doing something, what kind of fear do you not understand? You have nothing to fear and no reason to be afraid, your fears and insecurities are an illusion, this is your fantasy.
We can approach the issue we are considering from the other side, and for this we will ask one more question - why on earth should you be an insecure person? Why do you accept and put up with a state in which you feel uncomfortable? Yes, our life experience, other people’s attitude towards us, our successes and failures, our fears, all this affects a person’s self-confidence, I understand that. But you see, friends, the outside world is one thing, but our attitude towards ourselves, our opinion about ourselves, our understanding of the patterns of certain of our personal qualities, and, more importantly, our vision of our own, not only weaknesses, but also strengths, is completely different. We all have our weaknesses and strengths, we cannot, even if we try very hard, consist only of shortcomings - this is impossible. Each of us is interesting in our own way, good in our own way, smart in our own way, unique and needed by this world for something. We should not, because we cannot, compare ourselves with other people in order to give self-assessment. A person must, first of all, accept himself as he is, and as for the outside world, he will always have an ambiguous opinion about you. Some people will like you, others will not, others will not care about you - this is normal.
If you haven't found your place in life and haven't figured out who you are, then you can fix it, yourself or with the help of others. The same psychologists, if you turn to them for help, can, after studying your personality, help you do this. They will help you, as they say, find yourself. That is, they will show you who you are, what you are like, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what you need to work on to become better, how you can best work on yourself, and so on. They will help you find your place in life. But thinking badly about yourself, having a low opinion of yourself, considering yourself worse than others - this, friends, is wrong, you should not do this. You have no reason to think badly about yourself; you can only have someone else’s bad opinion of you in your head, which you consider to be your own. You cannot be an insecure person of your own free will, for this is mental condition– does not serve your interests. Now, please pay attention to your life, just be sure to take everything into account, both your failures and your successes. So don’t you really have these successes? Really, you don’t know how to do anything at all, you haven’t achieved anything in your life and haven’t won any victories in it? I highly doubt it. But let's say that this is so, let's say that you really haven't yet achieved noticeable success in your life. Well, imagine this success, force your brain to paint you a picture of your life that you would be happy to hang in your bedroom, and which would serve as a guide to action for you. And if so far you have nothing to be proud of, although, I repeat, I strongly doubt this, but let’s say this is so, then you still have everything ahead of you, which means that all your victories will be achieved in the future. But you must, on your part, take a step towards this future, because in order to at least get somewhere, you need to go, and not stand still.
Friends, you can do anything, I’m telling you this seriously. You only need to find out exactly how you can achieve something by analyzing your personality and understanding your current capabilities. You are no worse than other people, even the most successful and advanced of them, who have achieved great success in their lives. They are made of the same things you are made of, but they do not want to think badly about themselves and do not doubt their capabilities, because they understand that they do not need it, it is not beneficial for them. All that holds you back and limits you is a virus implanted in your head that affects your psychological condition, in a negative way and forces you to be passive. This virus is the reaction of the outside world to you and your dependence on this reaction, as well as your laziness, which does not allow you to prove to yourself that you are capable of much. The outside world, by and large, doesn’t care about you, it lives its own life, there are plenty of all kinds of people in it, both confident and insecure, and those who may be interested and pleasant in you, and those who, for one reason or another, are not like it. Forget about him. Don’t let the outside world evaluate you, don’t let it invade your inner world, build it yourself, build it the way you need it. If you want to be a confident person, be one, be one in your inner world, and then the outside world will accept you the way you present yourself to it. Remember, while other people are acting, succeeding and failing, you are inactive, and your inaction, your passivity, is destroying you as a person. You are afraid, but at the same time you feed your fear with your inaction, becoming an even more insecure person. And you need to take it and do it, do everything that you can do, in which you can succeed, in order to thereby learn about your capabilities and prove, first to yourself, and then to those around you, your importance.
But don’t expect quick success in various matters that seem easy to you. Right away, without special training, you, of course, will not be able to succeed in anything. Moreover, in any business, mistakes and failures are inevitable, which you simply cannot help but allow if you decide to achieve something. The question is how persistent you will be so that, despite mistakes and failures, you do not lose faith in yourself, and more precisely, everything will depend on how wise you are in order to accept any mistakes and failures as taken for granted and get the maximum benefit out of them for yourself. Don’t lose heart because of unmet expectations, develop resilience to failure. How? Just get used to them. Get used to the fact that when you start doing something, you will first encounter problems, a lot of problems, and only after you solve these problems will success in the form of a reward be guaranteed to you. This is your perseverance, which will help you achieve success in various matters, it will definitely make you a more confident person. You will understand when you persistently strive for something that it is not confidence that leads to success, but success makes a person confident when he, bleeding from the nose, does what he intended. There are always first steps in everything, as well as a sequence of steps that will be within your power and that will lead you to your first victories. They will allow you to feel your strength, because after taking one step, you will understand that you can take a second, and a third, and then you will realize that anyone who walks can master any road. Friends, if you are unable to determine these steps for yourself, this task is not easy for some people - contact me for help, we will determine them together. Remember the main thing - you don’t need to believe in yourself so much as understand yourself. And for this you need to study yourself, and not only with the help of introspection, but also with the help of certain things that you will do regardless of any fear and doubts, and see what works for you and what doesn’t work, and why it doesn't work if it doesn't work out.
You have no objective reasons to feel insecure, I once again draw your attention to this, dear readers. And all your subjective ideas about yourself, if they somehow interfere with your life and make you an insecure person, you can study in detail through self-analysis or with the help of a psychologist. We psychologists don’t eat our bread in vain. And if suddenly, someone inspired you that you are somehow worse than other people, then we will convince you of the opposite, we will convince you that you are the most best person on earth that you are the best. It's more correct installation, more promising. Well, friends, confidence and self-confidence are not far from each other. And if you doubt that it is good to be a self-confident person, pay attention to successful people; although they are realists, they present themselves to society as if they were not people, but gods. To lower your self-esteem and suppress your self-confidence, there will always be those who want to, and there are much fewer people in this world who can instill confidence in you. Of course, you yourself should perceive yourself adequately, but in some matters, excessive faith in your capabilities will not hurt you; people have always done the impossible only when they admitted the possibility of the existence of the impossible.
You know, what else I would like to tell you, friends, is about self-confidence. Our life is too short for us to waste it on such little things as uncertainty, doubt and fear. I don’t know whether this is the only life we have or not; no one, in fact, can prove to us any of the hypotheses about this. But one thing I can tell you for sure is that we should spend this period of life that is measured out for you and me on something more significant than some kind of uncertainty. Maybe you don’t need to jump with a parachute at eighty years old, but you should definitely try your hand at more reasonable things. To hell with uncertainty, you don’t need it, start acting right now, start doing what you’ve never done, what you didn’t dare to do because of stupid fear and stupid uncertainty, and then it, confidence, will definitely come to you. No matter what comes, she has always been with you, because she is inside you, you only need to awaken her in yourself so that she will help you feel your strength and realize the limitlessness of your possibilities.
Mark Twain
There is no person who would not like to be confident, because confidence plays a very important role in our lives; it determines what our life will be like - successful or unsuccessful. You know this very well, and I know it, therefore, despite the articles already available on this site devoted to this issue, I return to it again and plan to return in the future, until all my materials help you, dear readers, gain confidence in to yourself. Together we will achieve success in this matter! You will definitely become a very confident person, and then many doors will open for you, you will begin to live life to the fullest, you will be able to realize many of your dreams and desires, you will fully realize yourself and become a happy person.
There are many ways to become a confident person, which I wrote about earlier and not only me. All of them, to one degree or another, need attention to themselves, they all need elaboration. But there are ways that are more effective than others positive influence on a person’s self-confidence, and in this article we will talk about one of these methods. We will talk about perhaps the most important way to increase self-confidence - about our victories and successes that each of us needs to strive for. A successful person, a winner, will always be confident in himself, because he will feel his strength thanks to his successes and victories. And success and victories, in turn, will depend on confidence, thanks to which a person can achieve his goals despite any difficulties. In general, friends, you and I need to understand all these relationships so that you know exactly what you need to do and why in order to gain confidence.
First of all, a person needs to learn to correctly relate to his failures, defeats, mistakes, mistakes, he needs to learn to understand them. His ability to achieve success in various matters will depend on this. After all, it is through failures, defeats and mistakes that the path to success lies. And in order to overcome this path, you need to be able to withstand the blows of fate and not give up. Then success is inevitable. But this is difficult, especially for people with weak character. If a person constantly fails in various things, his self-confidence will decline. This is natural, natural and quite normal, since any failure shows a person his weakness and inability to live, therefore he cannot rely on himself, cannot believe in himself, in himself and in his strength. But he must understand that if he does not give up and continues to fight, then his perseverance and perseverance will sooner or later be crowned with success, they will allow him to win and achieve success. Therefore, difficulties must either be overcome, if you have the strength to do so, or, if you cannot overcome them, then you need to bypass them and go around them, and for this you need to be a fairly smart, flexible, calculating, cunning person. So a weakness of character can be compensated for by a host of other qualities, but first you need to develop these qualities in yourself. This whole thing is profitable, you can make a winner out of any person, I am absolutely sure of that. The main thing is to find an approach to each person. Remember that winners are not born, they are made. And self-confidence is not a gift from God, but a consequence proper development person. It is important to understand that you should never, under any circumstances, give in to difficulties, you need to fight, you need to look for opportunities, you need to endure until at least an insignificant achievement is achieved. positive result, which will instill in a person hope and faith in ultimate success. Therefore, learning the ability to overcome difficulties and achieve your goals must begin with small victories, but at the same time, it is advisable to ensure that they are regular, then the degree of confidence in a person will slowly but surely grow.
If a person achieves success in life, if he wins, his self-confidence grows, he trusts himself, he sees his strength, sees his capabilities, sees his adaptability to life, and even sees and feels his superiority over other people. This is also important for us, that’s who we are. So in order to become a self-confident person, you need to learn to win, you need to start achieving success in various matters, primarily related to a person’s satisfaction of his natural needs. This is very important point, which must be taken into account - I mean the importance of a person satisfying his natural needs. The fact is that you can be a successful person, a winner, in some unimportant real life affairs, but these small victories, this dubious success, will not make a person truly self-confident. Of course, he will gain some kind of self-confidence from minor successes, especially if he gives them great importance, but the further these successes are from real life, from the real needs of a person, the weaker this confidence will be.
For example, a person, let it be a man, can be a very good chess player who constantly beats everyone at chess and he can be considered a successful person, a winner, but only in the game of chess. Of course, success in this game will give this man self-confidence, but if at the same time he has serious problems with money, if he does not have a beloved woman, if other men whom he could consider his friends do not communicate with him, he will feel extremely insecure, and especially severe cases- a complete loser. The thing is that failures in matters that are more important to life and a person’s inability to satisfy his natural needs, as a rule, have a much stronger impact on his psyche than success, even very great, in matters of less importance. However, there are exceptions that only confirm this rule. Therefore, friends, you need victories like air, but in matters that relate to real, and not to virtual, imaginary life. Of course, you should start with small victories, with small successes in small but important matters in life, gradually striving for greater and greater heights. And you should always remember that life does not consist only of victories, there is also a place in it for defeats, setbacks, and mistakes, which sometimes happen very often. And if you do not treat them with understanding, you will never come to success, wastingly avoiding the defeats and failures that lead to it. This means that you will not be able to gain self-confidence.
How can you learn to win victories that are important for your life, so that with their help you can increase your self-confidence, and how not to be afraid of failures, mistakes, mistakes, and defeats that stand in the way of success? This task is, in fact, not easy, since it requires an individual approach to each specific person who needs to be taught to win in order to instill in him a taste for victories and success. To implement this, it is necessary to take into account personal characteristics a person and his life story. After all different people within my means different tasks, some need to start with small victories, some are capable of more difficult things, and some can immediately aim for great achievements. Everyone has their own capabilities.
When I help people gain self-confidence, I study their lives and themselves very carefully, starting from childhood. This allows me to develop for each person an individual recipe for achieving success, guided by which they are guaranteed to win in matters that are truly significant for their lives, taking into account their desires and needs. If a person is poor, I help him improve his financial situation, if he is lonely, I help him find friends and a soul mate, and so on. In general, I help a person win where he needs to win. At the same time, he and I begin the path to success from the very first steps that he can take, from the smallest, but very important victories. Thanks to small victories, which later develop into big victories, people gradually increase their self-confidence, and therefore they themselves, without anyone’s help, achieve success in a variety of things, thereby increasing their confidence.
So, to put it simply, you need victories to increase self-confidence, and not in some unimportant matters in life, but in serious, important matters having direct relation to your basic needs, and only then to all your desires. But achieving these victories can sometimes be difficult if there is no clear action plan that takes into account a person’s current capabilities. It is not so easy to achieve success in a business in which you need to be able to show your strongest qualities and beat other people who also want to be first, want to be the best, want to be winners. That's why it's needed individual program achieving success, and in those matters in which it is easier for each individual person to achieve success at the first stage. Self-confidence should grow gradually, as a person overcomes various difficulties and obstacles that he is able to overcome. But great and quick successes, which some people are able to achieve mainly only thanks to a successful combination of circumstances, most often make them overly self-confident and people who inadequately assess themselves and their capabilities, and then only for a short time, since external circumstances are constantly changing, and along with them, the self-confidence of those who depend on these circumstances and rely on them changes. Therefore, you need to learn to go to success yourself, and not wait for it to come to you.
An important role in the issue of self-confidence is also played by a person’s attitude towards the victories and successes that already exist and previously existed in his life, which must be able to recognize and highlight against the background of everything else. People usually remember the bad better than the good, they remember their failures, they remember grievances, they remember the evil that happened in their lives. But the good things are often forgotten by them, successes, especially if there were few of them, are also forgotten, but at the same time, our self-confidence is based precisely on them - on our successes and victories. Let you make a hundred mistakes, but the hundred and first time you will achieve success - it is this hundred and first time that you should count as your asset, it is this that you need to remember throughout your life, it is this that you need to use as a moral support when solving your current and future tasks and problems, and while overcoming various difficulties. If you know that you can, that you are capable, that you have the strength to solve any problems and achieve success in any business, because you have already managed to do this before, then you will definitely solve your problems, you will definitely achieve success and your self-confidence will inevitably increase . Our past victories and achievements are our strength. We don’t need to pump up our psyche with all sorts of nonsense, because of which a person imagines himself as a kind of superman who is capable of anything, we just need to know about our strength and focus our attention on it.
Your self-confidence, friends, is your shield from any difficulties and adversities, and it is also your energy necessary to achieve success in life. Therefore, you need to build it piece by piece, or even grain of sand, depending on the characteristics of your life. Victories lead a person to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads him to even greater victories, thus increasing himself. Learn to win, learn to bypass and overcome all kinds of obstacles, depending on your capabilities, learn to see in yourself strong man, whom you can trust. And don’t even think about letting yourself down - if you promise yourself to do something, do it, and always be sure to bring all your tasks to the end. Otherwise, you won’t be able to trust yourself, which means you won’t be able to believe in yourself.
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