Ecology of life: Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation.” Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which seems impossible to avoid.
Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation.” Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which seems impossible to avoid.In itself, a “hopeless situation” is extremely convenient: here is a “hopeless situation” - that’s all, and nothing can be done. She’s like this, she’s “hopeless,” and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.
There are no questions, sometimes this really happens, but even in this case it does not at all follow that you are freed from eliminating the consequences of an unfortunate “hopeless situation”, and perhaps even the prerequisites for it. In the endit turns out that your “hopeless situation”: firstly, is not so hopeless, and secondly, it largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevespecially for proposes to consider this issue using more or less typical examples...
Let’s imagine a situation: new management came to the company where you work and announced a massive “downsizing” of a number of employees, and you were among the unfortunate “downsized” people. Write “in your own way” and get out of the company.
The first reaction is, of course, shock and a feeling of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really happening. If the new boss is at least minimally adequate, then you can talk to him about what you can agree on. You'll see that everything will work out. You will stay, and without squabbles and scandals.
If a newly minted manager tells you straight to your face that someone’s son (for example, his) is being planned to take your place, but you still need this office, intimidate your new boss the prosecutor's office, the labor inspectorate and something else like that. Moreover, if you are a punctual and efficient employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, guarantee – 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is in fact very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial for you.
Let's consider the hypothetical second “no-win” example - betrayal. It doesn’t matter whose: wife, lover, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn’t matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.
The situation seems hopeless, incorrigible, etc. and so on. But… First of all, this is a good lesson: You need to be at least a little more discerning in people. Secondly, this may be a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even completely unsuitable for you. Or maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to act like that in your relationships with people in the future.
The third hypothetical “hopeless” example is that you were robbed or robbed. As you yourself understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal is, to put it mildly, small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. A million was stolen. It would seem like a complete dead end. But no!
Firstly, it depends on you whether you will stir up the relevant competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor’s office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and with the competent work of the authorities, ensured, among other things, by you, the scoundrel will certainly be found), you can demand from the thief the money stolen from you. More activity– and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable outcome.
In principle, you can continue ad infinitum. The general meaning is this: if you understand the ins and outs of the “unsolvable” situation that has arisen, especially the reasons for its occurrence, and at the same time competently and actively act in a constructive manner, then in reality there is little that is impossible.
Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent ones (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander around dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some kind of internal logic and, accordingly, are completely independent of us. To declare that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat arrogant.
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But in general, there is a solution acceptable to you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem may seem to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly sticks to that same ill-fated 1%, you can still extract some positiveness from it if you wish. At least in the form of life experience.And, for God’s sake, do not rush to declare the situation “hopeless”: there are actually very, very few “hopeless situations”!
An example of how to get out of a hopeless situation! A way out of a hopeless situation, where is it? Is there a way out of a hopeless situation? Many people, including you, once found themselves in what you thought was a hopeless situation, but then found a solution and everything was resolved. The most important thing is not to give in to panic, it is inside us and does not allow us to concentrate and relax in order to soberly assess the situation. The reason for writing this article was a call this morning from a woman who is a subscriber and reader of the legal blog - “RAA Law”. She told me about her difficult situation and we agreed that she would send me copies of some documents.
The reason for the call was my phrase, which I used on the page with information about the blog. This phrase shook the person into action and gave hope for a way out of her hopeless situation.
What is law?
A law is a situation described from the point of view of the law itself. If you change this situation in one direction or another, then the law will turn in one direction or another. Remember: - in a hopeless situation, there is a way out to another situation, and whether it will be favorable for you depends on how you prepare for it.
I thought for a long time about writing an article, like a cheat sheet or instructions for getting out of hopeless situations. But then I decided that I would just tell you my story (there are many stories, but I will tell only one).
Several years ago, my wife and I collected the necessary documents and submitted them to participate in the young family program. Then this program was just beginning or had already been launched a year ago, but that’s not the point. Literally a year or a year and a half later, I was passing by this office where we submitted documents. I decided to stop by and ask what my line was, because everyone was promised a certificate for a certain amount of money, depending on the number of people. In my case it was about four hundred thousand. Imagine this amount of money for free from the state. Of course, of course there is no freebie and there never has been. Every program, and especially the state program, has very harsh conditions and deadlines. In my case, everything was like that. I won’t mince words, but get to the point. I did not meet the specified deadlines and did not submit documents for the apartment that I was supposed to purchase. As a result, those who did not use the certificate for a young family within the established time frame lost it. Naturally, I’m panicking, as I think. What should I do now, but I don’t want to lose money at all.
So much for the hopeless situation I found myself in. If you want to know how I found a way out of their hopeless situation, then read on...
At first I racked my brains to solve this problem, then my head started to hurt. Since I have been involved in real estate for more than 6 years, and in this area there is one positive point: It’s better to come to an agreement than to suffer. Taking advantage of this rule, so to speak, I went to this office again. I explained my situation that I simply missed the deadline and now I’m afraid of losing the certificate for a young family (and you want to know how you can cash the certificate). Together with one woman, we found a solution, or rather, she suggested it to me.
What way out of a hopeless situation did they tell me?
Arriving home, I took the certificate for a young family and put it under running water, wetting it a little, but the paper is thick and does not immediately get wet. Then I rubbed this place with my finger so that the text and quality disappeared in one place (the place can be any).
Then he wrote a statement that when he came home he discovered a leak from the ceiling. As a result, water fell on the table where the certificate for the young family was lying. Then I took the written application and certificate to the office. There they accepted everything from me and after some time they issued a new certificate with an extended period for another period. It’s like I just received a certificate for a young family.
After that, I used the certificate for the young family program.
So ladies and gentlemen, it seemed like a hopeless situation, but it turns out there is a way out and I got it where the entrance is approximately located.
What hopeless situations did you find yourself in, and how did you find a way out of the hopeless situation? I, like many others who come to this page, where there is a way out of a hopeless situation, will be very interested in reading.
In everyday troubles and worries, rarely does anyone think about their security. As a rule, we begin to “cross ourselves” and “lay down straws” when the thunder has already struck, when we have to retreat not to previously prepared positions, but into the unknown, into nowhere.
It often begins to seem like you are falling into an abyss. In a famous song there are the words “...love will come unexpectedly, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good.” What if trouble unexpectedly strikes? The sun is fading, the earth is disappearing from under your feet, and it seems that no one and nothing will save, help, or come to the rescue.
In his misfortune, a person becomes vulnerable, and troubles begin to literally “stick” to him. “Trouble does not come alone,” they say in such cases. Two primordially Russian questions arise before a confused person and begin to torment him: “What should I do?” and “Who is to blame?” Or rather, even the opposite: “Who is to blame?” And only then - “What to do?” Most of us still begin to analyze the situation by looking for someone to blame for our misfortune, and not with any constructive thoughts and steps.
So, the first rule that life taught me is: don’t look for someone to blame, forgive everyone you want to blame, and yourself first of all. The strength will be useful for searching, for fighting, for getting out of a situation, for recovery.
Of course, you can blame the whole wide world, hide in a corner and wait for the situation to resolve on its own. All children do this. They never try to solve the problems that confront them, but try to “forget” them, put them in the back of their minds, waiting good outcome, a wizard in a blue helicopter or a miracle. Nothing good comes from such a position. That is why parents must form trusting relationships with their children in order to always be aware of their problems and come to the rescue in time, showing ways out of difficult situations. And not at all for taking measures in the form of punishments and other sanctions.
So, pull yourself together. Get your act together. Analyze the situation. Call everyone you can for help. And don’t think that your problems are indifferent to the people close to you. They love you and will help you with advice and concrete action. It is very important to have someone nearby who you can rely on. But this doesn't always happen.
“Ask and it will be given to you” - remember? Ask not only relatives, friends, acquaintances. First of all, ask and pray for help from the Lord and your highest patrons. Find your temple if you don't already have one. If possible, go around everything that is nearby, and somewhere you will want to stay.
Or maybe you’ll just find your place near the icon closest to your soul in the only church near your home. This place is definitely there, and the soul will tell you and respond to it. The main thing is to go and ask. Ask for forgiveness, help, intercession, protection. Read prayers (or affirmations if you are an atheist) instead of delving into gloomy thoughts or giving in to despondency. In other words, control your thoughts. If you can’t think about something productive, you read prayers, and gradually your mind will clear up and thoughts will come to mind. necessary solutions, ideas, assumptions, hopes.
Learn to relax both emotionally and physically. Take up meditation. You can achieve relaxation different ways. You can concentrate
- firstly, on your breath;
- secondly - on relaxing your body (First, tension of all muscles is performed, and then relaxation. This is done gradually, starting with the feet and ending with the muscles of the neck and face.);
- thirdly - on some visual image or sound (This could be the image of sea waves that run onto the shore or the singing of some kind of sound “oomm”, “ahh”. In the book by Robin Sharma “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” There is a description of the “admiring a rose” technique).
If you wish and the current capabilities of the Internet, you can choose several such techniques - whichever one you like more than others, stop with that one. Yoga helps very well, regardless of whether you practice at home or in a specialized club. Choose a few exercises for yourself and perform them to the accompaniment of pleasant music, and there are also recordings for relaxation with the sounds of nature: forest, sea.
And also water. Ordinary water. Or rather, water treatments. Various baths - relaxing, soothing, sea, pine, with aromatic oils etc. Sauna or steam room. A real holiday for the body will bring relief to your soul. Pool. You swim like a fish, and through muscle strain your nerves and thoughts come into order. Pouring. Shower.
Walks. If you have a companion, who is also an interlocutor, that’s good. If suddenly this doesn’t happen, it’s okay, go for a walk alone. It is only advisable to choose a medium or fast pace of movement, depending on your fitness, and return with a slight physical fatigue. It’s great if your route goes along the river bank, a park, or quiet, unhurried streets.
It has a very good effect on our mental condition caring for the garden, plants: planting, replanting, weeding and all sorts of other chores. Open your books, catalogs, atlases on floriculture, leaf through them, and admire the beauty of nature.
Another method to distract your thoughts from a difficult and unpleasant situation is watching your favorite films, reading books that once brought great pleasure.
If you have been having health problems for a long time and haven’t had the opportunity to deal with them, now is the time. Start the course preventive treatment your osteochondrosis, gastritis, migraine. Even if there is no exacerbation. And it often happens in stressful situations in the presence of chronic diseases, and then treatment cannot be postponed any more.
There is one more good way combating the stress that accompanies difficult life circumstances, it has proven itself well, especially among women, but it should also help men: shopping. In other words, go shopping, find something you've been dreaming of for a long time (a unique crochet or fishing hook), or buy yourself a gift spontaneously.
If you like something right now, buy it and be happy. Diamond earrings, a silver ring, a beautiful dress, a tie, a car or... a toy. Treat yourself. And if no desires arise at all, then loved one, a child, any person.
Fulfill your dream of the intangible plane. We have long dreamed of jumping with a parachute, riding a river bus, walking barefoot on the water, telling our neighbor kind word, plant a tree, throw away the boring dinnerware, stand on your head, learn a melody for piano and orchestra, get a kitten or puppy, go to Paris or the countryside? Take action.
The main thing is not to get hung up on the problem, not to get lost in it, but to realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order, begin to analyze and take reasonable steps to resolve the situation or to realize the need to exist in new circumstances.
And during prayers, meditation, walks, swimming, gardening, while watching movies, your consciousness will gradually lead you to the right path. Previously unfavorable circumstances will turn the other way, joyful and necessary events will begin to happen. Changes for the better will begin in your life, new opportunities and chances for success will appear.
WITH God's help, with the participation of loved ones and your own calm and positive attitude A Door will open to you that you had no idea about some time ago.
And this Door will not only be a way out of difficult life situation, but also the Entrance to a new, beautiful, huge and happy Life.
From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem either difficult to resolve or completely unsolvable.
In such cases, despairing of finding a way out of the current situation, we especially urgently need an objective and sober look from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can you find a truly wise person who Hard time will this only path, Ariadne's thread, help us, tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?
We very often entrust this important decision to our loved ones or friends. This has its advantages. First of all, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their “outside view” will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply don’t know who else we can turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a solution are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the full depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. Only you know this. But then what to do in such cases?!
There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s not easy for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that are not in their usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?
In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we it is necessary to take a paradoxical path: make it seem as if the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks on physics and algebra all the answers to the problems are given. All you have to do is find the corresponding pages where all these solutions are contained and select the current answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex everyday problems to a minimum.
The wise man technique is performed just once, and after that you get answers to any, most difficult questions living arrangements. However, for this to really happen, the technique must be performed very carefully and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image accompanies you in the future, like a talisman. He will be like a genie that you can summon from the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him for it.
How a wise person is created? A person’s imagination is so strong that he can come up with almost anything he can imagine. If you want to take a moment to imagine what a pink Christmas tree would look like, you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, humming their tune to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see a picture and hear how it might sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes a certain sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we imagine pictures, hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.
In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner hearing, which you have. You don't need anything supernatural or mind-blowing. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange jeans and his hair is dyed a viscous blue, then I would not be at all surprised. Because your wise person can be anything you want. He may have a beard or no beard, he may be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, on the contrary, very young. If only it satisfied one thing important rule: The appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of wisdom and enlightenment.
It may take you some time to create a wise person. Don't feel sorry for it, it will bring you great benefit, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend searching for this or that solution. It is best if no one disturbs you at this time, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise person. If you have found such an opportunity, you can begin to perform the technique.
Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Prepare all this and then try to relax. You don’t need to do anything, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember something from your past experiences, and this will be easy, since you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember several cases in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke up? vicious circle When was the situation resolved successfully? Also tell yourself your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with so that everything fell into place? As soon as you remember it and say it, mentally put a tick or cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on the palm of their hand to remember it - and follow on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: “I did this and that, and my problem was successfully resolved.” Or: “I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place.”
Step two. Exist different types wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Some people are convinced by a beard, others by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of some details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is like - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Perhaps he even reminds you of someone? What would his voice sound like? Fantasize boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a piece of paper, recording its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you know how to draw at least a little. You should also determine a meeting place with your wise man. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, just think about what it would look like if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise man will look like.
At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise man. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about him so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not mince words, describe it in as much detail as possible.
Step three. Once you can imagine your wise man whenever you need it (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), come back to your list of those things and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add another such situation to this list. This will be easy, since we find a lot of similar solutions in our lives. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was resolved, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.
Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or lie down. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present time. Focus on it for a moment, that will be enough. After this, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears in front of you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?
Once you ask your wise man a question, you will receive an answer instantly. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you have received. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. Did you get some important information, which contains the answer to your question. All you have to do is understand what the wise man wanted to say by giving you this information.
In the future, when you meet again with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this you just need to ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then when you ask your questions, you will just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet, you don’t hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Don't forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.
There are no restrictions for meeting a wise person. You can contact him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream you had. In a dream you can receive very important information that will help you accept correct solution. Good luck to you! And thanks to your wise man, whom you will meet in the very near future. Thanks to him for listening to all this carefully.
Vit Tsenev
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In a person’s life there are many difficult and sometimes hopeless, dead-end situations. And often people don’t know what to do or how to get out of the deadlock.
Today, on the website of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.
A hopeless situation - a dead end in life
People lead themselves into most of life's dead ends. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because... at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.
When a person is stressed, he thinks stereotypically and is emotional—irritated or depressed.
What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person’s life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or generally does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.
He is stressed, depressed or neurotic at this moment, so he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.
What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing you need to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance that there are no hopeless situations.
You can always find a way out of current circumstances and make your choice.
Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
To prevent crisis situations - so that there are as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your “comfort zone”.
In other words, so that you do not have serious deadlock situations in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.
“Constantly” means all your life. Then you won’t have to look for a way out of the dead end - you simply won’t get into it.
How to find a way out of a hopeless situation
If you ALREADY find yourself in a dead end, crisis situation, then you need to get out of it immediately. First of all, by relieving stress and changing your attitude towards the problem itself.
How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?
- You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psychotraining, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem, to more positive or neutral ones;
- Once you normalize your thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
- If you have few obvious choices, for example only two, you can rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
- If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
- If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, seek help...
Help in difficult life situations
When people cannot get out of life’s impasse on their own - they are stressed, depressed, “on edge” - then they need a professional, psychological help in crisis situations.
After removal neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.
Consult online psychologist-psychanalyst Oleg Vyacheslavovich Matveev
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