according to Miller's dream book
Seeing beautiful children in a dream portends extraordinary prosperity, happiness and goodness. For a mother to see her child easily sick in a dream means that he will always have good health, but she will be bothered by other minor troubles associated with him. Seeing children working or studying portends peace and prosperity. Seeing your child hopelessly ill or dead in a dream means that you have reason to be afraid, as terrible threats to his well-being arise. See in a dream dead child- to anxiety and disappointment in the near future. Upset by something, crying children are a sign of impending troubles, anxious premonitions, deceit and unkindness of your imaginary friends. Playing and messing with children means that you will achieve your goals in all commercial and love affairs.
Why do children dream?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
kissing - calmness; hitting children - success; fooling around - happiness in the personal, in the family; own - can mean the dreamer's eyes; strangers - new opportunities.
Seeing children in a dream
according to Loff's dream book
Children are an image that deserves special attention, because it conveys a true reflection of all our thoughts and experiences. Children are always afraid of what is worth fearing; they have a heightened sense of justice, they clearly distinguish between good and evil; They also tend to openly express their feelings to the objects of both adoration and hatred. Do you dream of friendship with a child? The interpretation is ambiguous. If this child exists in your real life, then this is simply a projection of your desire. If the child is unfamiliar to you, then perhaps it is you yourself in the past. The main element of interpretation is how you behave and how you relate to this child. If in a dream you become a parent and see your own children, it is likely that this is a common wish come true. However, this may also be an indication that your relationship with your parents or other people important to you is not going well. In addition, seeing yourself as a parent means the need to realize the desire to influence someone. For example, a relationship with someone around you is getting out of control, and you want to return everything to normal. And since most of us have experienced the domineering attitude of our parents, we can do the same thing in our dreams as adults. Another possible variant is a dream in which you yourself are a child, while others show their authoritarianism towards you and try to control you. For example, you dream that you, like in childhood, play dress up at work, and all your colleagues are ordinary adults. In relation to reality, this may mean that your colleagues are more authoritative than you.
Why do you have a dream about children?
according to Vanga's dream book
Seeing many children in a dream is evidence that you have many small problems ahead, each of which will require additional time and effort from you. Perhaps such a dream prophesies an increase in the birth rate on the planet. If in a dream you saw yourself as a child, then in real life you do not behave in the best possible way. Your childish antics are extremely inappropriate and offend those around you. See in a dream crying children- the dream foreshadows world danger. There will come a time when men will go to war, women will do things unusual for them, and children will shed a lot of tears. For the dreamer, such a dream prophesies troubles from his children or the children of close relatives. If you dreamed about disabled children, then your addictions harm not only your health, but also the health of the people around you. Sometimes such a dream prophesies ecological disaster on the planet. If you saw your children in a dream, then you should be more careful in your relationships with your family. It is quite possible that your actions and words greatly offend them. Looking for children is a bad omen. You will not be able to find a way out of this situation due to a number of minor troubles. Playing with children in a dream is a sign that in real life you are looking for a job you like, but despite your search, you will have to spend some more time at the old unloved job, which deprives you of your last strength.
Seeing a child in a dream
according to Loff's dream book
As the object of your dreams, a child represents something that requires care and attention. Here it is important to determine whether the sense of responsibility comes from yourself or is it imposed from the outside. A dream involving a child can be dreamed by women of childbearing age as a reflection of the instinct of childbearing inherent in them. In men, such dreams signal a certain amount of anxiety, especially for sexually active men, which seems to be associated with fear of the obligations of fatherhood.
Child in a dream
according to the dream book of Nostradamus
A child is a symbol of hope and the future. If you dreamed that a child was bitten by an animal, then this dream indicates that in the future there will appear on Earth a large number of vampires, who will primarily represent serious danger for children. For the dreamer, such a dream prophesies a meeting with the Antichrist, who will want to make him his disciple. See in a dream pregnant man- a sign that in the future what has been talked about for many years will still happen, that is, a man will become pregnant and give birth to a child. Perhaps this will not happen without the intervention of dark forces, but this fact will glorify this man and his child throughout the world. If in a dream you saw a disabled child, then such a dream warns all of humanity about the danger posed by our polluted atmosphere. For the dreamer, this dream prophesies a meeting with a person who will greatly need his help. To see a dirty child in the arms of a fallen woman in a dream - the dream suggests that the Earth is in very great danger. In the future, AIDS will be infected unprecedented number people, and humanity will be on the verge of extinction. But when it seems that nothing can change the plight, a person will appear who will invent a cure for this terrible disease. If you dreamed of a child who has no limbs, then such a dream indicates that the Earth is in real threat. Because of environment is very heavily polluted, many children will be born with various physical disabilities, as well as mental disorders. Seeing a healthy smiling child in a dream - lucky sign. A happy time will finally come on Earth when love will rule the world. People will stop being afraid of wars, poverty and hunger, and therefore many healthy, beautiful children will be born. Seeing a child running on the ground in a dream means renewal and symbolizes a new humanity. A dream in which a child squeezes or kills a snake predicts that humanity will find a way to prevent the threat of nuclear war. If in a dream you saw yourself as a child, this is a sign that you have come to the point in life when you need to reconsider and change your life. Seeing a crying child means endangering your future. Looking for your child in a dream means trying to find lost hope. Seeing a child picking flowers in a dream means spiritual enlightenment. Holding a baby in your arms in a dream means trying to find a way out of a difficult situation.
I dreamed about a child
according to Miller's dream book
Seeing crying children in a dream means poor health and disappointment. A cheerful, clean child means rewarded love and many good friends. A child walking alone is a sign of independence and disregard for unworthy opinions. If a woman dreams that she is nursing a child, she will be deceived by the one she trusts most. It is a bad sign to dream that you are picking up your sick child if he has a fever: this dream foreshadows mental suffering and sadness.
I dreamed about pregnancy
according to Miller's dream book
For a woman to dream that she is pregnant means that she will be unhappy with her husband and her children will be unattractive. For a virgin, such a dream promises shame and misfortune. If the sleeping woman is really pregnant, then such a dream will serve as a prognosis for her successful delivery of pregnancy and speedy recovery strength
Why do you dream about pregnancy?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
Deception (for a girl); pride, joy (for a woman); make plans (for a man); seeing a pregnant woman means trouble; if she gave birth (for a girl) - a cheerful life; mother's distress; for a man to give birth is the completion of affairs; son - quick profit, gain; a girl - a new unexpected relationship to happiness.
Seeing pregnancy in a dream
according to Loff's dream book
Pregnancy enters your dreams in two main ways. The first is dreams about yourself during pregnancy, the second is that your real pregnancy is a “push event” and sets its specific content. Anyone can become pregnant in a dream: this possibility is not limited by either gender or age barriers. Generally speaking, pregnancy serves as a symbol of creativity, puberty or wealth. However, there are many situations that require additional interpretation. If you are a young woman dreaming of pregnancy, but at the same time having no real intention of becoming pregnant, such a dream may indicate that you are in the stage of primary transition to pregnancy. new stage self-analysis. One of the archetypes according to Jung is the archetype of a parent with a prevailing instinct for preserving the family. To see oneself involved in an activity in this position is to observe one's exit from the child stage and the transition to an adult level. If you are sexually active, but have no intention of becoming pregnant, such a dream can be a harmonious accompaniment of your monthly cycle. In connection with such a dream, “what if” type anxieties may arise that require comprehension and resolution. A man who sees himself pregnant in a dream is often in a situation where his masculinity or participation in population reproduction is in question. Such doubts often come to mind for men who see themselves as less active in this regard than they would like to be. The dream acts as compensation, highlighting the creative side of their personality. Pregnant men not only give birth to children, but also something that somehow justifies their mission in this world. The fact of pregnancy in real life can lead to various events in dreams. By their nature, these events can be anything from the most brutal to the ridiculous. This is not surprising, since in real life pregnancy is a source of a whole range of sensations - from excitement to euphoria. Other types of dreams that occur during pregnancy may relate to adultery, death of a partner, chronic health problems, loss of pregnancy due to accident or miscarriage, birth defects in the child, twins, triplets, and increased fertility, where conceptions occur. and pregnancy occurs more often and regardless of protection. Dreams about infidelity or the death of a partner often arise as a response to feelings of insecurity due to changes in appearance or the frequency and nature of sexual relations during pregnancy. Dreams about chronic problems with the health and defects of the child belong to the category of negative volition, and this is also the result of the anxiety experienced by women in this position. Dreams of multiple births and repeated pregnancies are the most difficult. Sometimes, at a certain stage, pregnancy overwhelms a woman. This is a consequence of concerns about the ability to properly cope with the role of a mother. Multiple pregnancies may be a visual representation of these fears.
The meaning of a dream about pregnancy
according to Freud's dream book
If a woman dreams that she is pregnant, it means that in real life this event will not be long in coming. For a man, dreaming of pregnancy means that he would like to have a child with his partner.
Why do you dream about being younger?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
to be mistaken or deceived; to troubles due to a recent acquaintance; for patients - to deterioration.
Why do you dream about a toy?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
deception; buy - lead.
Why do you dream about a doll?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
strange addiction; strange relationship.
Child
according to Ayurvedic dream book
If in a dream you are nursing a child, this may indicate the approach of grief and sadness. If you dream of a sick child, this may predict the death of a relative.
I dreamed about school
according to Miller's dream book
Attending school in a dream is a hallmark of your unconditional literary talent. If you dream that you are young and the school of your dream is the school of your youth, then you will find that the vicissitudes of fate will make you yearn for the simple truths and simple joys of earlier days. If you dream that you are teaching at school, it means that you will be attracted to a humanitarian education, but the severe need for daily bread will change everything. If you attend your childhood school in a dream, it means that some unfortunate incident will darken your life today. Seeing a school and children in its yard in a dream promises you a gradual ascent up the career ladder.
Why do you dream about school?
according to Tsvetkov’s dream book
anxiety; to be in it is a reproach.
Dreamed of a son
according to Miller's dream book
Seeing your own offspring in a dream means cheerfulness in the future and constantly cheerful voices of children and neighbors in your home. Seeing the offspring of domestic animals in a dream means an increase in your well-being.
Dream Interpretation orphanage
It will be possible to choose the correct prediction of what an orphanage is for in a dream, based on personal experience and features of image perception. Since the children who end up in a boarding school in reality will have to endure serious trials given by fate, then for the dreamer who sees a similar plot, the time will come for difficulties, troubles, and worries.
When a former pupil of an orphanage dreams that he was visited by an acquaintance with early years shelter, then reality will be favorable to the person, old friends will remind of themselves, boring everyday life will change into exciting days filled with happy events.
The fear experienced in a dream when visiting a boarding school represents the fear of being without support, of losing a guardian, since in reality the dreamer is cared for by his parents, his significant other, and there is a mentor.
Picture of dreams
Among possible values provided by the dream book, there will certainly be a dream similar in meaning and imagery.
I dreamed about an orphanage
- If the pupils are joyful and happy, then the dreams predict: everything will work out, problems will go away, all conflicts will be resolved on their own.
- Angry or sick children are a sign of future failures, crises, and emotional lamentations.
- The real state of affairs will have to be realized by those who, according to the development of events in their dreams, left the walls of the shelter.
- According to Miss Hasse, one should do charity work after having visions of visiting a baby in an orphanage.
The person who has dreamed of a family-type boarding school will have a life that is not rich, but full of everyday joys, assures interpreter Loffa.
Teacher and orphanages
The hidden desire to have your own children will be a dream about raising children from an orphanage.
Taking the place of everyone's favorite teacher is a sign for a woman that she will soon become pregnant.
The role of an overly strict headmistress, prone to hypocrisy, indicates that the sleeping person should be open with people, pacify her pride, and treat all events more simply.
Did you dream about an orphanage baby? According to the Slavic interpreter, the plot hints at future good news and an entertaining pastime.
Dreaming about children playing in a boarding school
Positive Predictions
According to modern dream book, orphanages playing together is a sure sign that in reality it will be possible to achieve the desired status; financial independence is also guaranteed.
If there is a park or square near the construction site of the boarding school, then happiness will visit the home, love and understanding will reign at home.
Visiting orphans in a dream with the goal of helping is a subconscious desire to atone for one’s own children or parents.
Be on the lookout
What dreams will hint at future troubles?
- According to the family interpreter, being under the tutelage of the state means that you will be able to earn a large sum, but the ways of possible profit will be dishonest.
- According to the soothsayer Vanga, you can dream about an orphanage, indicating a feeling of loneliness and resentment that burdens the spirit.
- For parents, visions of where they ended up as pupils of such an institution will become an alarm signal. Dreams will tell you about upcoming problems in raising your offspring.
Being the director of a boarding school is a symbol of stinginess, and trying on the image of an orphanage pupil is a sign of a poor financial situation and dire need.
I dreamed about adoption
I dreamed about adoption
The desire to have a child can be reflected in dreams, showing a plot about adoption. What else to expect after an interesting dream?
- An adopted boy tells about a storm in a dream negative emotions which the sleeping person has to endure.
- A sweet girl who came home from a boarding school dreams of unexpected events and surprises.
- Adopted children, as the interpreter of dreams insists, personify obstacles on the path of life.
The decision to adopt made in dreams will indicate that changes are coming on the personal front.
Psychology of the dreamer
According to the famous psychoanalyst Miller, being among peers under the roof of an orphanage in dreams is a rather ambiguous symbol. On the one hand, the meaning indicates the existence of devoted comrades, on the other hand, the vision is identified with grief, petty squabbles over trifles.
A person who turns out to be an orphanage in his dreams will have to diligently fulfill other people's obligations without remuneration for his efforts.
The one who, in the story, sent the child to be raised in a boarding school, will need to make a decision to the detriment of his own interests.
Orphanages cause people sadness, regret and heartache. After all, children are kept there who are deprived of parental love, happy childhood and have little chance of getting a prosperous life and the support of loved ones.
But what if I was destined to dream about an orphanage? Or did the children in it dream? What meaning does it have for the dreamer? This image could mean:
- Health status.
- The presence of difficulties or good luck.
- Happiness.
- Career growth.
And in order to know exactly what an orphanage is in a dream about, you need to take into account many factors, which we will now look into.
Kids, location, role of the dreamer
Surely in your dream you saw not only the house itself, but also children, so pay attention to them. If they looked good and were in a great mood, you are having an excellent period in life, when all your undertakings will be successfully completed, and good luck will accompany you in everything.
The children did not look completely healthy and were angry? The dream warns you not to start any business, since there is a possibility that it will not be completed. What will the dream book tell you when in your dreams there was an orphanage, and you were in it? It characterizes your friends in a wonderful way, who will provide you with any help in difficult times.
To see children fighting in a dream means there are enemies who want to put a spoke in your wheels. If the fight doesn't stop long time, you will have to make efforts to change the situation in your favor. Did one of the adults separate the kids? Will help you influential person. But when the children from the orphanage played together, the dreamer will be successful in financial affairs, and in love.
Now let's turn our attention to the environment in which we dreamed about the orphanage. If it was a hill or a mountain, it is necessary to make efforts and overcome difficulties to achieve what you want.
But to see an orphanage in a dream surrounded by a garden, forest or park means that everything is fine with you, things are going well and there is no reason to worry. Sunny weather in a dream is also positive sign, promising good luck in career growth and any matters related to finance.
Maybe in your dream you returned to the orphanage where you grew up? In this case, the dream book explains, the orphanage personifies your longing for the past and lack of attention from others.
But to pick up the child from orphanage- to changes in personal life. Did you see who exactly was taken away? Then taking a boy means trouble, and a girl promises surprise. If you saw yourself in the role of an orphanage teacher, it means that you are already ready for the birth of your own children, and this event will happen soon.
What will the dream book tell you, why see yourself in a dream visiting children in an orphanage? Most likely, someone around you needs your help; under no circumstances should you refuse someone in need. Also, when you figure out why you dream about an orphanage, you can see a warning about troubles that your friends and relatives will help you cope with. The main thing is not to be shy about asking for help when needed and accepting it when offered. Author: Natalya Chernikova
The hackneyed phrase that children are the flowers of life in modern world remains relevant, because the future of the world depends on children, regardless of their marital status and origin. Why do you dream about a child from an orphanage, and does the dream have a good interpretation?
What if you dream of a child from an orphanage?
A child from an orphanage is a generally positive sign, but here everything depends on the individual characteristics of the vision. So, for example, if the dreamer adopts a baby, then global changes await him in his personal life. If he takes in a girl, then some kind of shock will happen in life that can surprise a person. If the child turns out to be male, then in real life there will be room for troubles and worries, but they will turn out to be pleasant.
If a child cries loudly while within the walls of an orphanage, then in real life the dreamer feels unhappy because of the place he occupies in the world. Perhaps work has not been enjoyable for a long time, or perhaps the problem lies in unhappiness associated with your personal life. One way or another, the dreamer needs to decide on some action, otherwise the situation will not change.
Seeing several adopted children in a dream is a positive sign. Probably a person will experience a sharp rise on all fronts, which, despite its unexpectedness, will be absolutely deserved.
Seeing yourself as a child and a pupil in an orphanage means loneliness in real life. Perhaps the dreamer has recently experienced a difficult breakup or is about to become disappointed in his relationships with family and friends. In any case, the looming future is painted in sad tones.
If a person passes by a child from an orphanage, it means that in real life his indifference to those who need help will backfire on the dreamer. It is likely that he personal life will go downhill, not promising anything good.
A good interpretation is a negative vision in which the children of the dreamer himself become the inhabitants of the orphanage. Such a vision means that the children have a happy future, and now their well-being is absolutely not in danger. If a vision of abandoned children overtakes a woman on the eve of her wedding, it means that in real life her maternal instinct will soon awaken. It is likely that the dream of a strong and large family will also soon come true.
If in the vision a holiday is organized for the children from the orphanage, then in real life the dreamer himself will have to rejoice. His business will go uphill sharply, and financial position will improve before our eyes to the envy of all ill-wishers and numerous enemies.
What does it portend?
A vision in which a childless couple adopts a baby has a very good interpretation. Usually the dream means that their prayers will soon be answered and children's laughter will finally be heard in the house.
Adopting a newborn baby is a positive sign, heralding some kind of new beginning. Perhaps the business will reach new level, and maybe the person will start a happy relationship. In any case, the changes will be for the better.
Seeing in a dream a teenager whom a family takes from an orphanage means crises in relations with one’s own children. Mutual understanding will disappear from the family, and therefore parents will have to spend a lot of effort to establish contact in communication with the younger generation.
If a child from an orphanage turns out to be sick, then in real life the person’s investment will not be worth it. He will be extremely disappointed in any undertakings. If the child dies altogether, then the dreamer will have to go through a lot of trials in order to return to his previous standard of living.
Adopting a child is a serious decision, and not everyone is able to adequately care for a baby from an orphanage. However, a vision of such a child should not be taken literally, because sometimes it means positive changes or minor troubles in the real life of the person himself.
A cat, two dogs (one of them is old dachshund), a mouse, a chinchilla, a parrot - all these living creatures live in the huge apartment of Stanislav Gusev, Maria Orekhov and their adopted children... Children - some at school, some at kindergarten, so you can calmly talk with the head of the family, Stanislav.
The horror of white coats
In 2006, my wife Maria and I suddenly realized that our two sons had grown up and there was nothing left to do. One day, our Maria posted a link on the Internet that classes were being held in Moscow orphanage No. 19. We really enjoyed these classes and completed the full course.
And after some time, four-year-old Vika appeared in the family. We didn’t make any special selections or look at the database. In the orphanage they pointed out her to us, she was small and bald. We just extended our hands when she came towards us. Although she was not very sociable: she hardly spoke, she was afraid of adults, especially women, and especially those in white coats. I just fell into a trance. But then I wasn’t afraid and went.
At first we took her just for a walk: the documents were not ready yet. But when we returned back and drove up to the orphanage, she grabbed me and howled. I told my wife: “Maria, go and sort it out as you want. I won’t let the child be tortured, I’ll go home with her.” Maria talked, and the manager allowed us to pick him up early.
And so our foster family began. We were prepared for the problems that we would have to face, according to at least, knew about them from School classes. Although, as for the first month, which, as psychologists say, will be cloudless, I didn’t see anything with any of the children. These are just theories. As for adaptation, it seems that nothing supernatural was observed either. Well, baby and baby. We already knew that staying in children's institution leaves its mark on the child's psyche.
Vika hardly walked, she kept stumbling and falling. If she was given candy, she would hide handfuls of it under her pillow. I didn’t understand, in principle, that there is one’s own and someone else’s. After all, in the orphanage they practically don’t have anything of their own.
Unfortunately, she's had enough for a long time in the baby's home, where something happened to her and she lost her hair. It is no longer possible to establish what and how. Vika has total alopecia, that is complete absence hair. There is no cure for this anywhere. Twice a year she stays in the Russian Children's Clinical Hospital with her mother.
She, already living in a family, continued to be afraid of women for a long time. If I saw ladies in white coats, I fell into a trance: I rolled my eyes and froze. Neither sound nor movement could be obtained from her. It is clear that going to the doctors was a serious problem for us.
Despite her total fear of women, Vika immediately began to treat her mother normally, but still, for about a year, only I washed her. If my mother entered the bath, she began to cry.
Vika was also pathologically afraid of dogs. When we first arrived home, we just got out of the car, she saw a dog passing nearby and became hysterical. And we have dogs at home. Nothing, literally a month later she was sitting astride the dog, kissing and hugging. It turned out that she generally has a craving for living creatures.
Of course, when children who have spent more than one year in a children's institution begin to appear in a family, such “oddities” begin to appear to the untrained eye. For example, rocking from side to side.
Vika rocked for quite a long time. But gradually it passed. It’s just that, as soon as she started swaying, we immediately started hugging and squeezing her. And now, when she is sad or has some problems, she immediately comes to be hugged and kissed. He puts his head up and says: “Kiss!” That is, the rocking was replaced by an excess of affection.
Now Vika is in second grade. She wears a wig. Of course, she’s worried, but - how can I put it - more or less resigned. At least, if she needs to change clothes, she calmly takes off her wig, doesn’t fall into a trance, doesn’t hide under the covers. Well, a wig and a wig. Our mother has a theory that if a child is bad in some way, you need to love him as much as possible. So we try to compensate Vika for her problem with love.
Vika goes to a private school. The class there is small and the teachers strictly make sure that the children treat each other normally, no matter if someone stutters, limps or has no hair.
Vika also needs such a school because studying is not easy for Vika. And there you get almost individual training. In the morning there are classes, and then the teacher personally completes and explains to everyone what the child did not learn in the lesson.
Girl with three returns
Next we had Sasha. We decided that Vika needs to take someone small so that they can play together. Let's go to. There they asked us: what kind of child do you want? We said something like this: “About five years old, Russian.” The answer was: “We have a child that you need.” And they brought in a 10-year-old girl, an Abkhazian, who had three returns from foster families behind her.
Will you live with us?
Then let's go.
He has lived here ever since. Of course, all sorts of things happened, but Sasha is our daughter. Finally and irrevocably. When she received her passport, at will changed my last name: took ours.
Our Sasha is a completely ordinary teenager. He doesn’t want to study, he wants to go out with his friends. We also experienced the “emo” craze. Calmly, they were just keeping an eye on her state of mind, so that she wouldn’t harm herself, or go drown herself or hang herself, as is customary among emo people.
Apart from this aspect - we weren’t particularly worried - everything was adolescence going through some hobbies. I was a metalhead, and my mother remembered how they were hippies.
It’s not an easy age, but what to do? You won't be afraid all the time.
Once, just during the period of her passion for “emo,” she decided to timidly cut her wrists. I come home and they tell me. I ask: “What did you use to cut it with?” Shows the blades removed from the sharpener. I start cursing: “Are you crazy, the sharpener costs 30 rubles!” Sasha has huge surprised eyes; she did not expect such a reaction at all.
Then Maxim, the eldest son, came and complained to him that Sasha had broken the sharpener. Maxim then hands her a kitchen knife with the words: “The sharpener is nonsense. But this knife is good!” Seeing that no one was taking the event seriously, Sasha was offended, but her passion disappeared.
But again, we saw that she does not have an internal crisis, that all her complete sadness was gleaned from books and magazines.
Sasha studies at the same school as Vika. She had pedagogical neglect. She went to school simply because she “had to,” and served her conscription. And they didn’t teach her anything there, they just drew threes. At the age of 10 she did not know the multiplication table. So we had to take our studies seriously and hire a tutor. And little by little I got involved. Now he also plays guitar.
Honesty check
Why were there three returns? They returned because not everyone is ready to live with an adopted child. And secondly, my daughter’s character turned out to be difficult.
And regarding the fact that adopted children are “returned”... Difficulties happen to everyone, with blood ones there are no less of them, and sometimes more. I recently spoke with a friend from the juvenile affairs inspectorate. They have about 400 children registered there - and all of them are blood. Nobody sends them to an orphanage because of bad behavior.
In general, it’s somehow not fair when a person has the option to “give it back.” There shouldn't be such thoughts. I took it all, your child, no options.
As psychologists say, children who have already been returned begin to behave badly on purpose, arranging something like a test for adults. With approximately the following motivation: “Well, you took me, but you’ll give me back later anyway. So let me arrange something worse for you now.” And Sasha also “tested” us. If you tell him to do something, he won’t do it out of spite. Or, on the contrary, he will do something like that and come with a challenge: “Here I am, I broke something,” and joyfully watches what will happen now.
True, the “checks” didn’t work here. We've survived everything. Well, I broke it, well, I’m running into a conflict, what should I do? We know why this happens. During the day she behaves defiantly, and in the evening you hug her and burst into tears.
They have been so traumatized in their short lives that many adults find it difficult to imagine. And there is only one medicine - to love, to stroke, to hug.
Where do dirty dishes go?
Vika and Sasha quickly found mutual language. In general, all the children who came to us got along with each other instantly. They have a common destiny, common experiences and they understand each other well.
They have to adapt to family life. First, you take a long time to show the child what our life consists of. Sasha, for example, did not know what a refrigerator was for. Because she never saw him at the orphanage. He was standing there somewhere, in the kitchen. They were served food in the dining room, brought it in and taken away. She didn't know she had to wash the dishes. At the age of 10, it never occurred to her where the plates would go after she finished eating.
They never had their own, so they observe careless attitude to things. Many adoptive parents They complain that the child doesn’t appreciate it, played with the toy and threw it away. He simply never had HIS toy. And you have to explain, reinforce. Gradually the understanding comes that the phone that was given to the child is his own, not shared. And - the attitude towards things changes.
Children in the orphanage sometimes imagine the family as some kind of fairy tale, where they will not be forced to do anything... We gradually load everyone with some kind of household chores. For example, the younger ones look after the animals, feed them, and clean them. Sasha picks up the youngest ones from kindergarten. Sasha and I also take turns walking the dogs.
Well, sometimes we ask you to put things in order in your rooms.
Jealousy is present, but not in a strong, not in any malicious form. For example, you put one person in your arms, and everyone else will immediately come running, with different sides sit down. Including the eldest, although she pretends to be such an adult, serious young lady.
Hose in the basement of a kindergarten
Andryusha is seven years old and has entered second grade. He and Vera go to the one closest to the house secondary school with an English twist. Because they have no educational problems.
Nobody wanted to take Andryusha away from the orphanage; he was considered a hooligan. For example, someone was hit hard on the head. But he is not out of malice. I just didn’t calculate it, I wanted it to be a ball, but it turned out to be either a bucket or a spatula.
Because everyone perceived him as such a malicious bandit, Andryusha, when he first came into the family, was gloomy and frowning. Now such a wonderful boy has grown up!
Although he constantly gives us some surprises. But again, not out of any malice, he doesn’t fight, but always comes up with something.
When he went to kindergarten, the teachers reported every day that Andryusha had learned something strange today. For example, 5 or 6 toilets in a group. According to the teachers, Andryusha filled it with soil from flower pots. I immediately had a question in response to this: “According to the most conservative estimates, it takes 25 - 30 minutes to do all this. How did the teacher leave? How can you leave preschoolers alone? It’s good, they didn’t burn down the kindergarten, they didn’t throw anyone out of the window.”
When we moved, Andryusha was transferred to another kindergarten. And he flooded the central heating unit in the basement with it. The janitor forgot the hose connected to the tap outside. And Andryusha knows how to handle a hose, he saw it at the dacha. He threw the hose into the basement, turned on the tap, the children played, played, threw sticks into the water and left. The teacher was not interested in what the children were doing at the central heating center. Everything was discovered when the lights went out in the kindergarten, because the water was pouring and pouring, and reached the electrical panel.
The teachers simply informed me about this later, so to speak, without any complaints. What are the complaints? Firstly, the janitor must think about what he is doing, there is a yard full of children. Secondly, the teachers didn’t notice.
After such incidents, I don’t scold Andryusha, but simply explain why this cannot be done, and say how unhappy I am that I was called in again. Why reprimand him? He wasn't going to do anything bad. He simply poured himself a puddle of water to let something in there. He didn't have any nasty thoughts. I heard someone complain that the children killed the cat. In this case of deliberate cruelty, I would not know what I did...
But Andryusha doesn’t do anything bad.
Vika and Sasha fell in love with Andryusha. They even had the following phrase: “Vic, call Andryusha, we’ll play it.” They dressed him, did his hair...
Three sisters
A year and a half ago, three girls appeared in the family - one is two and a half years old, the second is six years old, and the third is seven.
The sisters' story was covered in many media outlets at one time. The girls were sailing with their mother on the ship, and a navigator started visiting her. She left the children alone with him, and he turned out to be a pedophile - he undressed the children, took photographs, and so on.
When the story came out, the children were removed and placed in different institutions. And they called me from the guardianship and told me about the youngest, Sonechka, that there was such a traumatized girl. I called my wife: “Shall we take it?” She replied: “We’ll take it.” When I came to read Sonina’s documents, it turned out that there were three girls. Where was there to go? Don't separate them.
Adaptation was easier for girls than for others. Since they were already in an established family children's group with an established atmosphere, so to speak. The only one who violates it is the little one. And the rest are just playing. Well, they’ll break something, that’s natural.
All our children break something all the time - these are little things. That's why they are children.
It’s not for nothing that the TV in my room is secured with such huge eight anchors. There have already been repeated attempts to crash into him and drop him. At the dacha, while playing catch-up, we dropped a heavy ZIL refrigerator. Disassemble the fence? Disassembled! And one day we woke up at the dacha from a terrible roar: Andryusha decided to dry a car with lithium batteries in the microwave...
"Blood" issues
Vera, Nadya and Sonya do not miss their blood mother. At one time they separated “mother” and “the mother who gave birth to me,” or “when I lived in another city.” Now the issue of memories is removed, the girls move on, they have new memories.
Sasha didn’t ask any questions either. I only saw my blood one day in court, when we had to deal with her once again. Sasha was also called. She then tells me: “Listen, I thought she would come up to me and ask me something, I was still thinking about how to behave. Didn’t even come up...”
In general, no one is particularly interested in this aspect. I don’t know, maybe at a certain age children will start asking questions about this...
Paper life and ventilation
Some people planning to take a child into their family complain that “paperwork” and collecting certificates take too much time. But it seems to me that the procedure for obtaining documents could be even more complicated. People who complain that it is difficult for them to obtain certificates are not prepared for any difficulties at all.
I'm so aching that it's hard to get the same required medical certificates, I immediately want to say: “What are you counting on? So you take the child. He needs to be placed in a school or kindergarten. It is necessary to resolve issues with treatment, with studies, with behavior. How will you do this if you can’t get two certificates?”
I have a huge stack of different pieces of paper in my closet. Every day I choose something here, take something somewhere. Recently, the Air Transport Prosecutor's Office was nagging me as a representative of the injured girls; today I need to go to the security service and take them new contracts. Life is in full swing, including paper life.
There are inspections periodically. Recently, an almost anecdotal incident occurred: a representative of the SES came and drew up an act that caused me to burst into laughter. The young lady wrote that living in a huge apartment in a stone house on Leninsky Prospekt is impossible due to poor ventilation. I couldn't even find what to say. He asked where the young lady lived. It turned out to be in a residential area, in a panel two-room apartment. There must be excellent ventilation there.
Yes, these are the kind of figures who interfere with their strange conclusions. It’s good that this matter reached her superiors and the situation was resolved successfully for us.
And we don’t have any problems with the guardianship and trusteeship authorities; sane people work there. If they see that children have an apartment, food, clothes, they have no desire once again walk around and check.
The fact that there are many animals in the house does not bother them at all. On a dog, children love to watch TV as well as on the sofa.
We do not have any problems with guardianship in choosing a school. You just need to tell them where the children will study.
And they went to the emergency room several times: these are children, either they will break something or they will break themselves. For example, last year Vika was playing tiger, crashed into an oak door, and cut her forehead. In the trauma room, she honestly admitted that she was playing a tiger. Then there were no district police officers. Perhaps the emergency room will call later, but the district police officer knows our family well, knows that we are sane people.
There are no problems with the people around me either. The neighbors, of course, look askance at this brood when we all go somewhere together. Some look back with positivity, others with suspicion: normal person will not take a child from an orphanage.
Although, without knowing, you wouldn’t guess from our children that they once lived in an orphanage. Well dressed, happy, cheerful.
At school, in kindergarten, neither parents nor teachers look at us in any special way. Although, perhaps, at first, they are scared. What a problem we have in society is the lack of information. Hence, perhaps, all sorts of fears: “They have adopted child! Then it turns out that this is an ordinary child who rides a bicycle and digs in the sandbox.
UN peacekeepers and correct books
Children, of course, swear among themselves, and sometimes even fight. Elders usually try to resolve the situation. Sometimes my wife and I have to act as arbitrators, or when someone has inflicted a “mortal offense” on someone, we have to bring in the blue helmets of the UN - peacekeeping units. And put things in order: “So, Andryush, you went there, Vic, you went there. Calm down, we’ll talk later.”
If Andryusha breaks toy cars, then the older ones, the blood ones, break full-size cars. They are already under thirty.
When they learned that we were going to take a child from the orphanage, they were amazed: “Ancestors, what are you doing?! Are you crazy? And then when they saw Vika, they fell irrevocably in love. Then the rest of the children appeared, whom the elders doted on. They still won't get married. And here, apparently, such a paternal instinct kicks in, not yet realized.
The eldest son periodically comes and reads books to them, which he claims are correct. True, I did not understand how they differ from the incorrect ones, and on what principle he divides ordinary children's works. But my son approaches everything very thoughtfully, carefully selects books, downloads them e-book, brings and reads.
Parental refuge
In the morning I take the children to two schools and two kindergartens. We bought a minibus especially for this purpose. The eldest son helps to gather everyone: he works with us. At four-thirty, I start to pick everyone up. I took it home and back to work. My wife and I work until nine.
There are also clubs, but fortunately, some of them take place on weekends.
Late in the evening, it’s time for my wife and I to sit quietly in the kitchen, drink coffee, and talk. The kitchen is my wife and I’s refuge. After we managed to put everyone to bed, when they had all already peed, ate candy, ate an apple, drank juice, drank milk and they no longer had any reason to leave their rooms. This does not happen before 23. Although we start packing at 21. By 22 the apartment gradually calms down, but the “movement” in the apartment continues. So, if one comes for candy, it means that now everyone else will come and demand candy.
They say that an adopted child “tests” the family to see how strong the relationship is. Don't know. We somehow have no time for reasoning, but the fact that we are a family is clear even without them. We have already experienced so much that there are no doubts left, and nothing can scare us anymore. We went through the 90s together with everything that could have happened then: raids by bandits and police, loss of money, the fact that they shot at us, they tried to put us in prison illegally.
Gouache in the washing machine
This kind of thing where you give up, it seems, “that’s it, I can’t take it anymore,” probably happens more often with our mother. For example, she started washing clothes, and at the last moment someone threw a jar of gouache into the machine. Here, of course, it’s scary to look at mom. It's difficult for her. Also considering her character, her craving for order. Instead of order, she stumbles upon complete chaos.
Although we are trying to make children friends with order. At the level - I went to wash, threw my old pajamas into the dirty laundry basket. As you grow up and learn, the “tasks” become more complicated. You cannot train children, you can only teach them.
By the end of May, fatigue accumulates, we wait for the school year to end. It happens that my wife and I can quarrel. Then I say: “Children, get out of the room, we need to fight!” Children are not particularly worried about this; they can only say: “Don’t go there, mom and dad are fighting there.”
I don’t remember any family traditions. I don’t understand their meaning; the whole family cannot unanimously want to do one thing. With such a range of ages. Among other things, everyone really likes to go somewhere and travel. It is enough to give a command, the whole family is ready, without getting dressed, without getting ready, to climb into the car and rush anywhere.
Different
All children are completely different. The youngest one knows how to insist on her own, although she still doesn’t know how to speak properly. She’s even ready to fight to defend her point. At the same time, Sonechka is such a miracle, she always sings or recites poetry. Vera is purposeful, tough, has strict rules, and drives. Andryusha, he is very good, kind, and flexible. But he's a terrible slob. At the same time, he himself understands this. You ask: “Andryusha, what’s wrong with you, why are you all dirty?” “You see, I was getting out of the car, got caught on something and, of course, fell.” Vika is a real princess. And Sasha is so white and fluffy. Like a chinchilla.
For those who are planning to adopt a child
A person who is going to take a child into a family must first get all the nonsense out of his head from the series: “Here I am doing a favor to this cute baby.” Forget her and understand that they are doing you a favor. And secondly, it’s like chess: take it, move. You can't back up. Because “we are responsible for those we have tamed.”
You need to be prepared for anything. After all, we don’t know the habits of these children, perhaps established when they lived in their biological family, we don’t know what his mother used during pregnancy...
I have a kind of sanity test for doctors. You present all the documents to the doctor - professor, smart woman, he reads them carefully and usually asks the first question: “How was the birth?” We have to answer: “Doctor, how can we know this?!”
We don't know anything. Therefore, you need to be prepared that anything, the worst, can happen. Suddenly he will steal, run away from home... When you are ready for this and calmly perceive what is happening, but it turns out that he does not steal, and does not go into the trash heap, and does not run away from home - happiness appears. You begin to understand that the child is wonderful... Is this the third time you’ve lost your phone? Fuck it, the phone, the main thing is that the child is good.
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