How to hide your feelings? The disease of unexpressed feelings

Each person is unique, and, accordingly, his character, temperament, and habits are unique. People who have increased emotionality, cannot hide their feelings, and sometimes this leads to undesirable consequences. This can cause quarrels with friends, a breakup with a loved one, problems in the family and at work. Such people often realize their problem and understand that they should not give vent to their emotions, but they cannot stop in time. So how can you learn to hide emotions or at least suppress them, if necessary? And is this possible?

How to learn to hide your emotions and feelings

The answer is yes. You just need to follow some, that's enough simple recommendations, which will significantly make your life easier and help you improve relationships with people around you.

You need to create a mental attitude that only insecure, complex people with low self-esteem are led by emotions. You need to clearly understand that strong man will always be able to convince his interlocutor that he is right calmly, without shouting or excessive display of emotions.

You need to try to increase your self-esteem. To do this, you need to carefully analyze all your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your achievements and failures. Do not forget about impartiality and objectivity. In addition, the goals that you intend to achieve both in the near and distant future will give you self-confidence.

To learn to hide your emotions, try to treat the events that happen to you with humor. The ability to find something funny in the most ordinary situations, as well as the ability to sometimes laugh at yourself, will greatly help you. No one will argue that laughing is much better than causing a scandal.

Learn to look at yourself from the outside to some extent. Pay attention to the behavior of people who react just as violently as you to the events that happen to them. Believe me, you don't look any better in such situations.

Surely, if people thought about how unpresentable they look in moments of anger, they would try to restrain their emotions. This is especially true for women, because it is unlikely that any representative of the fair sex will want to look unsightly in the eyes of others.

We told you how to learn to hide your emotions. We sincerely hope that our advice will help you achieve true harmony both in your own inner world and in relationships with the people around you.

How to suppress your emotions and not show it

If emotions overtake you spontaneously, remember that in a situation of excessive emotional stress you cannot make any decisions (except emergency situations when it comes to your life). For the most part, recommendations on how to learn to hide emotions in this case are as follows:

gather your thoughts and slowly count to ten;
Normalize your breathing by inhaling slowly through your nose and holding your breath for a while, then exhale slowly through your nose. While breathing this way, concentrate on your inner sensations;
if the situation requires it, then excuse yourself and leave the room to be alone;
will help you come to your senses cold water– wet your forehead, hands and temples;
You can distance yourself from your experiences by looking at surrounding objects, trees or the sky, and if you describe them to yourself appearance, then very soon you will be able to switch from your emotions to the environment;
Drink a glass of water very slowly and deliberately, concentrating on how you feel.

Remember also to prevent excessive tension; walking on a walk will help you prevent emotional overstrain. fresh air, creative activities, interest clubs.

How to suppress emotions when necessary

“You should have not gotten excited, restrained yourself, and then expressed your opinion” - we often use this phrase after a violent manifestation of emotions, both negative in quarrels and positive in joy for something. We often call this hint from our mind “hindsight.” And as life experience shows, reason is right. But why does this happen after emotional outbursts? And how to overcome the emotions that often complicate our relationships with society.

Psychologists are of the opinion that expressing emotions is necessary. But in order to maintain a relationship with someone, it is often more beneficial for us to suppress emotions than to express them.

In everyday life, our wisdom is limited to advice that is aimed at combating emotional extremes. We often hear:

in grief - “don’t kill yourself like that, everything will pass”,
in joy - “don’t rejoice, so that you don’t have to cry”, in case of whims - “don’t be picky”,
during apathy - “well, shake yourself up!”

And how can we learn to hide emotions and maintain complete control over the outburst of emotions if, first of all, we lose the ability to control our current state? Trying to cope with their emotional world, people delved into the mechanism of experiences and tried to use it more intelligently than nature. One of the systems aimed at regulating emotions is yoga gymnastics. Yogis developed a number of breathing and physical exercises that made it possible to get rid of emotional stress and partly from worries.

If you want to learn how to suppress emotions, you need to turn to yoga. Some elements of the yoga system were used to create the method autogenic training. Psychologists are sure that auto-training is one of the techniques that allows you to suppress emotions. Auto-training techniques are not as primitive as advice to keep yourself within the bounds of decency when you are ready to explode from a surge of emotions. Famous phrase: “I’m calm, I’m completely calm” - practically a balm for your tense nerves.

Another available method suppress emotions - laughter therapy When a person laughs, three times more air enters the lungs, which increases the amount of oxygen entering the blood, blood circulation improves, and arterial pressure by calming the heart rate. During laughter, the production of endomorphin (an anti-stress substance) increases, which leads to the release of adrenaline (stress hormone) from the body.

Dancing and listening to music have a similar mechanism of action on the body. You can also easily “defuse” the situation with a cheerful smile or a sparkling joke.

IN Everyday life Between people, due to differences in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to a person’s excessive emotionality and lack of self-control. emotions? How to "take over" with your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

Why do you need self-control?

Restraint and self-control are something that many people lack. This is achieved over time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that this is necessary and gain agreement with your own “I”.

Control over emotions prevents the conflict situation from worsening and allows you to find someone with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary to establish relationships with people, no matter business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The influence of negative emotions on life

Disruptions and scandals, in which negative energy is released, have a detrimental effect not only on the people around them, but also on the instigator himself conflict situations. their negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of personality and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate/communicate/live with a person who does not control himself and starts a large-scale scandal at every opportunity. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then he will soon leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give free rein to negative emotions. The child will feel every word said by the parent in the heat of anger, and will subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

For business and work activity negative emotions also have a big impact. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays an important role here: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure and required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to control your emotions in the workplace? Do not react to employee provocations, try to start a casual conversation, agree with your superiors in everything, even if the assigned tasks are difficult to complete.

Suppression of emotions

Constantly restraining yourself within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity, and therefore increases the risk of developing psychological diseases. Negativity must be periodically “thrown out” somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people are not harmed. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to your inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his energy internal resources, and the negativity quickly goes away.

Wrestling, boxing, and hand-to-hand combat are suitable for releasing negative energy. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relief and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it is worth considering that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to control your emotions:

Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do this, but, of course, not in literally words. At the moment when you feel uncomfortable communicating with him, mentally do whatever you want with this person.
Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the sheet and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prevention

How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives the following answer to this question: to control your feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words - emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and the best way control over emotions. It does not require additional human training or specialist intervention. Preventive measures allow for long time protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns.

The main thing is that it helps you gain control over your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence all this and adjust it to himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number preventive rules that help you manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debts

IN short time complete all planned tasks, do not leave work unfinished - this can cause delays in terms of deadlines, thereby provoking negative emotions. Also, “tails” can be reproached, pointing out your incompetence.

In financial terms, try to avoid late payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from achieving your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity and helplessness in the face of current circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and strength, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the contrary, is an obstacle to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Create a comfortable experience for yourself workplace, equip your home to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should feel comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to make smart plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have a little more time and resources to complete your tasks than you need. This will avoid the negativity associated with constant shortage time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and Workflow

Avoid contacts with unpleasant people who waste your money personal time. Especially with individuals who are called “energy vampires” - they take up not only your time, but also your energy. If possible, try not to interact with overly temperamental people, since any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to restrain your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, and do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your job. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of mental balance.

Marking boundaries

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line that no one, not even yourself, should cross to a loved one. Create a set of rules that restrict people from communicating with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who resist these attitudes should not be in your environment. To communicate with strangers, develop special system which will allow you to avoid violating your boundaries and creating conflict situations.

Physical activity and self-reflection

Sports activities will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Spend 30 minutes to 1 hour a day on sports, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you acted correctly in a given situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether you had enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people who cause negativity. your own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop the ability to switch from negative emotions to positive ones, try to see in any situation positive sides. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with family and strangers? Be more positive, and this will help you overcome your own temper.

The right goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. You should choose only realistic, achievable goals.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit from communicating with them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you urgently need to change your social circle, switch to individuals who carry positive emotions. Of course, it is impossible to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the work space.

In addition to changing your environment, expanding your social circle will help you develop self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.

Many people ask this question: “How to hide your emotions”? Don't let other people know exactly what you think.

Why hide your emotions? The answer is very simple. There are certain situations when it is better to keep emotions and thoughts hidden. When thoughts or emotions are displayed in front of people, they may make fun of or even take advantage of your feelings. As always, let's stay away from this. Control your temper by laughing and remaining calm. This article specifically points out those very acts and any things that only you can do in order to hide and control your emotions. No need to allow anything person to know about what do you think.

1) Take a deep breath.
We talked about the benefits. After taking a deep breath, try to calm down. The same logic applies here. Besides the obvious benefit of increasing oxygen supply, taking a deep breath will help you remember your composure and be calm.

2) Stop your eyebrow movement.
Like it or not, your eyes are the first to reveal your emotions. The eyes are not verbal, but they speak volumes. And this is exactly where your eyebrows are: if you are angry, sad, excited in stressful situation, there are certain specific movements of the eyebrows and positions associated with them. If you want to hide what you are feeling and thinking, stop moving your eyebrows and loosen the tension in your forehead.

3) Don’t put up with a fake smile.
A smile is a huge advantage, but not always. A smile and a playful look on your face will help win you sympathy and love, but this is not always the best thing that can happen in a serious meeting. You might think that a fake smile can hide feelings like sadness or anger. We all know very well that a fake is, most often, very noticeable. If you really want to hide your emotions, keep your lips straight.

4) Don't support your head
Despondent people often support their heads with their fists or hide their gloomy faces in their palms. This can be a gift to the interlocutor: it speaks of a gloomy mood, depression or sadness. The phrase "keep your head up" is not the best thing to say when you are trying to hide your feelings. Keep your neck straight.

5) Stop and desist from constantly regulating yourself.
Do not make sudden body movements - constant signs discomfort, obvious signs nervousness or anxiety. Simplicity of behavior should be comfortable. Emotions and feelings are difficult to decipher if you maintain calm.

6) Pause, think and speak in a balanced tone
The tone of your voice can give you away: all your thoughts. Frequent changes in tone, speaking quickly, stuttering and stammering can all serve as a signal to the person listening to you. Don't let this happen and speak the right way. The slow pace of the conversation gives you the opportunity to think longer in those critical few microseconds before speaking your words.

7) Distance yourself from the situation
It's not easy at all. But this may be necessary if you want to hide certain emotions from the audience. The easiest way is to simply think about happy thoughts or good memories. Think about warm moments spent with your loved one or moments of joy or happiness. This will help you mentally cope with anxiety and your current situation.

8) Talk in your mind.
"Calm down, you can do this." You must do this! If you feel like you've let your emotions get the better of you, just tell yourself that's what you want. All you need to do is just tell yourself!

The theories and achievements of the outstanding American psychologist Paul Ekman have long won him fame and authority in scientific and business circles, but they became widely known relatively recently - thanks to the American television series “Lie to Me.” Main character- a scientist who masterfully recognizes any signs of deception from facial expressions, human postures and human gestures, and Dr. Ekman became the inspiration for the image. We are publishing an excerpt from his new the book “Know a Liar by Their Facial Expression”, which is being prepared for release by the publishing house"PETER" in mid-December.

Lying well is an art

“Controlling facial expressions is not easy. Most people manage facial expressions, but they do it less than perfectly. People are more accustomed to lying with words than with their faces (and with their faces more common than with body movements). This is probably due to the fact that people are more responsible for their words than for their facial expressions. People often comment on what you say rather than what you express on your face.

It is easier for you to watch your words when you speak than to watch your facial expressions. Facial expressions can be very transient, meaning they appear and disappear in a fraction of a second. When using words, you can easily put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving your message and hear everything that he hears. With facial expressions, everything turns out to be much more complicated. You can hear your speech, control every word you say, but you cannot see the expressions on your face, since this is simply not given to you. Instead, you have to rely on a less accurate source of information about what's happening on your face - the feedback provided by your facial muscles.

So is it possible to control facial expression?

When controlling your facial expression, you can try to soften external manifestation experienced emotion, modulate the expression of that emotion, or falsify the message being conveyed.

Mitigation

When you soften a facial expression, you add a commentary expression to an existing one. For example, if you show fear when the dentist approaches, you can add an element of disgust to your facial expression as a message to the dentist that you are disgusted with yourself because of your fear. The expression of the feeling you are experiencing has not changed in intensity, as with modulation, and has not been hidden or replaced by the expression of a feeling you are not experiencing, as with falsification. The expression of an emotion may become softer when it occurs immediately after the first expression, either as a social commentary required by the rules of displaying emotions (individual or cultural) or as a sincere expression of the next feeling. A person may actually feel disgusted with himself because of his fear of the dentist, or he may follow an emotional display rule to make it clear that he is no longer a child.

To soften facial expression, a smile is most often used; it is added as a commentary to any negative emotions. A softening smile gives the key to understanding negative consequences or limits of manifestation of negative emotions. It tells the other person that you are still in control. For example, if you smile to soften an expression of anger, you are communicating with your face that you do not want to go too far, that your attack will be limited or weakened. If a smile mixes with anger rather than softens it as a follow-up comment, then you are saying that you are enjoying the anger you are experiencing. A smile that softens the expression of sadness says: “I can handle this,” “I won’t cry again,” etc.

Softening expression is the most moderate form of facial control. It distorts facial expression very slightly and usually occurs as a result of following rules for displaying emotions (individual or accepted in a given culture), and not to satisfy needs current moment. Since the distortion of the transmitted message appears to be minimal, and the evidence of softening is quite obvious, we will not discuss here methods for recognizing the fact of softening the expression of an emotion.

Modulation

When you modulate your facial expression, you adjust its intensity to show how you really feel. You are not commenting on the message of an emotion (as in softening) or changing the nature of the message (as in falsifying) - you are increasing or decreasing the intensity of the message. There are three ways to modulate facial expression: you can change the number of areas of the face involved, how long the expression is maintained, or the amplitude of contraction of the facial muscles.

Suppose that John, when experiencing fear, follows an emotional display rule that requires him to show only a slight expression of apprehension on his face. If John experiences fear, this emotion will be reflected in all three areas of his face. If he needs to weaken the expression of this feeling, then he can take any of next steps(or any combination thereof):

Remove manifestations of fear in the mouth area (as in Fig. 19A) and, possibly, also in the eyes (Fig. 13B) or show your fear only with your mouth (as in the right picture of Fig. 17).

Reduce the duration of expression of fear.

Stretch your mouth less, strain your lower eyelids less, and don’t raise or draw your eyebrows together so much.

If John really only felt apprehension, but tried to look scared, then he would actually have to make the expression shown in Fig. 13B, and change actions aimed at reducing the expression of fear. Typically, when people modulate, that is, increase or decrease the expression of their emotions, they use all three methods - changing the number of areas of the face involved, how long the expression is maintained, and the strength of facial muscle contraction.

Falsification

When you fake facial expressions of emotion, you show a feeling you don't feel (faking), or show nothing when you actually feel a feeling (neutralization), or hide an emotion you feel by expressing another emotion that you don't actually feel. experiencing (disguise). In the case of malingering, you are trying to create the impression that you are actually experiencing some emotion when in fact you are not experiencing any emotion. Imagine that someone tells you about the misfortune of your supposedly close friend, and you do not care at all, you do not experience any feelings, but give a sad expression to your face. This is called simulation.

To successfully fake an emotion, you must remember the feeling of what each emotional expression looks like on your face “from the inside” so that you can consciously adjust your facial expression and demonstrate the emotion you want to show others. You usually cannot anticipate the need for simulation and do not have the opportunity to practice in front of a mirror to observe your face and practice making different expressions. Children and teenagers often develop various facial expressions in this way; adults also practice in front of the mirror on the eve of some special occasions. important events, about which they know in advance. But most often you have to rely on proprioceptive sensations - how the emotion feels on your face “from the inside.” You need to be able to capture these sensations and remember what your face felt when you were angry, scared, etc., so that you can consciously give yourself one or another appearance.

Neutralization is the exact opposite of simulation. You feel a strong emotion, but try to look like you don't feel anything. Neutralization is the ultimate form of emotion reduction, in which facial expression is modulated so that the intensity of the display of the experienced emotion is zero. If John was scared but wanted to appear calm and dispassionate, he would use neutralization. In the case of neutralization, you try:

Keep your facial muscles relaxed, avoiding muscle contractions;

Keep the facial muscles in a position that allows you to give the face an impassive expression: the jaws are clenched; lips are closed, but without visible effort; the eyes look intently, but the eyelids are not tense, etc.;

Mask the appearance of your face by biting or licking your lips, wiping your eyes, scratching parts of your face, etc.

Neutralization is very difficult, especially if your emotional reaction was caused by some serious event or series of such events. Typically, when using neutralization, you appear so stiff or tense that you feel at least, by your appearance you exclude the possibility of falsification, even if the emotion you actually experience is not externally manifested. But most often, instead of neutralizing emotions, people try to mask them, which is much simpler and more effective.

When you use masking, you fake an emotion that you don't actually feel in order to obscure or hide the real one. When you heard about the misfortune that happened to your supposed friend and showed sadness on your face, it was a simulation only on the condition that you did not experience any feelings at all. If you felt disgust and tried to hide it by putting on a sad expression on your face, that would be a disguise. People resort to camouflage because it is easier for them to hide one facial expression under another than to try not to express anything on their face. In addition, people resort to masking because their motives for concealing a particular emotion usually require insincere statements about the substitution. For example, if a person experiencing depression does not want to continue to be considered suicidal, he should not only neutralize the expression of sadness on his face, but also pretend to be happy. The smile, which we have already called the most common means of softening emotions, is also the most common mask. Darwin was the first to try to explain the reason for this phenomenon. The muscle contractions required to produce a smile are most different from the muscle contractions required to express negative emotions. Anatomically speaking, a smile is best at masking expressions of anger, disgust, sadness or fear in the lower part of the face. And, of course, often the character social situation, motivating you to hide one of these emotions, will make you want to put on a friendly smile on your face. People often mask one negative emotion with another: for example, fear with anger or anger with sadness, and sometimes they mask a joyful expression with an unhappy one.

All three of these control techniques—mitigation, modulation, and falsification (which includes simulation, neutralization, and masking)—can be used in situations that force people to control their facial expressions—following cultural display rules, following individual display rules, according to with professional requirements and the needs of the current moment.”

The editors of the site thanks the publishing house “PITER” for the provided excerpt.

There are situations when it is imperative to reduce emotional pain, for example, if it is too severe. In addition, emotional pain can cause dangerous situations for a person experiencing strong emotions (for example, they may harm themselves or take a dangerous drug). It may strike a person at inopportune times (for example, at work, school, or another place where you don't feel safe), or in a situation where the person feels uncomfortable expressing their emotions honestly (for example, if they are in a company of people to whom he does not want to reveal his feelings). If you want to learn how to control your emotions, this article is for you. After reading it, you will learn how to control your emotions while taking into account your needs and desires. In addition, this article describes psychological techniques that, by practicing, you can learn to control your emotions and, if necessary, turn them off.

Steps

Control your feelings

Try to find the reason for the strong emotional reaction. If you want to learn how to turn off emotions, try to understand what is the reason for the emotional outburst at one time or another. This may be due to the following reasons:

you are a very sensitive person;
the situation reminded you of painful events that happened in the past;
you feel like you are losing control of the situation, which can cause anger and irritation to appear.

There is a difference between healthy emotional detachment and the painful form of it. From time to time we all experience situations when we want to turn off our emotions, especially if they are associated with pain or seem overwhelming to us. this moment. However, extreme emotional detachment from others is associated with psychopathy, in which a person commits a crime without feeling remorse. In addition, such behavior may also indicate that the person is experiencing severe trauma.
- If you sometimes want to turn off strong emotions, there is nothing wrong with that. We are not always able to cope with our emotions. However, make sure that your condition does not become chronic. If you isolate yourself from others or become an unemotional person, you will develop more serious psychological problems.
- Some signs that may indicate that a person needs treatment: social isolation, refusal to attend social events, strong fear being rejected, depressed mood or anxiety, difficulties in carrying out and completing a given task (study or work responsibilities) and frequent social conflicts or fights with other people.
Accept your emotional state. Paradoxically, by accepting and acknowledging our emotions, we are able to quickly take control of them when we need it. Often we want to become unemotional people because we find it difficult to experience emotions. However, these emotions give us valuable information about the situation we are in and our perception of that situation. Like physical pain, negative feelings and emotions (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) indicate that there is a problem that needs to be solved.

Express your feelings in a safe place. In case emotions overwhelm you, highlight a cozy safe place, where you can accept your emotions and take control of them. Make it a rule to analyze your emotions at the same time every day.
- Cry when you're alone. Tears in front of the person who is insulting you will provoke him to mock you or offend you further. Taking deep breaths and thinking about something unrelated to the situation will help you avoid focusing on the hurtful words. It is unlikely that you will want to cry after this. This way you will suppress the resentment within yourself. However, this is not very good. By holding negative emotions within ourselves, we harm our body. Try your best to hold back your emotions until the situation is over so that the person who caused your strong emotions leaves the room. Now you can give free rein to your tears.
Write down your feelings and thoughts. As we mentioned above, you cannot hold back your tears. The same principle can be applied to anger, embarrassment and other negative emotions - you should not suppress these feelings in yourself. Try to express your feelings and thoughts on paper. This will help you process and process difficult emotions, so you can step back from them when needed. You can also use the electronic device you use to express your feelings.
- Put your feelings into words and write them down in your secret journal.
- To avoid getting hung up on negative thoughts, try to look at the current situation differently. For example, you think about someone: “This person is such a nonentity!” In this situation, try to look at the situation from the other side. Tell yourself, “This person probably has a difficult life and this is how they deal with anger and sadness.” Empathy can help you cope with sadness and irritation. Show empathy and you'll find it easier to cope. difficult people and situations.
Try to distract yourself. Think about something else. Don't try to simply ignore a feeling or situation. If a person tries not to think about something, they end up thinking about it even more. The harder he tries to suppress the thought, the more confidently it comes back as a ricochet. In one study, participants were asked to think about anything but polar bears. And what do you think they were thinking about all the time? About polar bears, of course. Instead of trying your best not to think about what makes you feel negative, try just thinking about something else.

Get physically active. Take a walk, ride a bike, or do any other active activity that promotes good performance of cardio-vascular system. Aerobic exercise increases the level of endorphins in the blood. This will help you control and change your reaction to people who provoke you to negative emotions. Physical exercise or grounding techniques to help you gain control of your emotions.
- Think about the following types Activities: Hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, dancing, kickboxing, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, push-ups, squats, running and walking.
Focus on yourself
1. Engage in self-reflection. One way to take control of your emotions is to look at yourself from the outside. Try to look at yourself through someone else's eyes and see yourself from the outside.
  - When you are alone, analyze your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Ask yourself: “What am I thinking about today? What emotions do I feel?
  - Also observe how you behave in society. Pay attention to what you say, how you act, and how you express your emotions.
2. Assert yourself. Self-affirmation is important step, if you want to learn how to turn off your emotions. Self-affirmation allows you to confirm to yourself that your actions and emotions are reasonable.
  - Talk to yourself in a positive way. Tell yourself: “There is nothing wrong with my feelings. Even if I don’t want to show my feelings to others, I have the right to feel them.”
3. Set emotional boundaries. This will help you think about your needs first. Decide for yourself what will happen extreme point that you can no longer tolerate others hurting you emotionally. If possible, stop all communication with people who irritate or upset you, such as co-workers or neighbors.
  - Try to set boundaries by directly telling the person how you are feeling at the moment and what you expect from them. For example, if your brother teases you, tell him, “I get really irritated when you tease me. I will be grateful if you stop doing this." In addition, you can mention the consequences that may occur if a person crosses the line you set: “If you don’t stop behaving like this, I will not communicate with you.” This is an example of a situation where you were able to express your irritation without losing control of your emotions.
Use techniques to help you turn off your emotions
1. Use your wise mind. According to dialectical behavior therapy, all individuals have two minds - two different thinking abilities: rational, which comes from the mind, and emotional. Our wise mind is a combination of emotional and rational thinking. If you are trying to distance yourself from emotional pain, use your wise mind to find the perfect balance between the rational and emotional parts of your brain. Instead of reacting only emotionally, try to think rationally and objectively assess the situation.
  - Acknowledge your feelings, tell yourself: “Emotions are quite natural for humans. Over time, all emotions pass, even the strongest ones. I will be able to understand why I reacted the way I did when I calm down.”
  - Ask yourself: “Will this be important to me in a year, 5 years, 10 years? How much impact can this person or situation have on my life?”
2. Learn grounding techniques. Thanks to such techniques, you will be able to distance yourself from your emotional pain and turn off your emotions.
  - Try the following exercises: count silently to 100, count the sheep, count the number of objects in the room, list all the cities in Central federal district Russia or the names of all kinds of flowers. Use anything logical or unemotional that can distract you from the situation.
3. Make it a habit. Eventually, your mind will learn to remove unpleasant memories and you will naturally begin to think logically and unemotionally in any unpleasant situations. Practice will help you achieve your goal faster. You will be able to turn off your emotions when necessary.