Here are a few simple recommendations that will help you get out of vicious circle fear and overcome the habit of fear. You will learn about what fear of fear is from the article “Fear of fear: phobophobia”.
1. Believe that you can control your fear.
It is important to understand that you are scaring yourself. This means that you are able to control your fear. You can either strengthen it or stop scaring yourself. This can be learned. And the habit of being afraid of fear can be replaced by the habit of enjoying risk.
2. Get a medical examination
This point is for those who are afraid of the consequences of their fear. If you fear for your health or sanity, go medical examination. There will be less cause for alarm when you make sure that everything is in order with your body. To do this, you need to see a therapist, cardiologist, endocrinologist, neurologist and psychiatrist. If you are diagnosed - panic disorder, cardioneurosis, then there is no threat to health and psyche. These are just names for frequent manifestations of fear and horror. You are not sick with anything except your fear. If you are diagnosed vegetative-vascular dystonia, then you need to understand its reasons. In most cases, vegetative-vascular dystonia is also not associated with a threat to life. And it is based on psychological reasons.
3. Find the reason for the fear
Overcoming the fear of fear is easier if you understand the reason for your fear. Then you can fight not with yourself - with your emotions or with your body. And with the real reason.
Think about why you were scared last time. And why did your body behave this way? Perhaps you already have one assumption - the reason is that you are not healthy. Then come up with and write down other explanations. Maybe you drank too much coffee? Or tired and didn't get enough sleep. Or your boss upset you. Or mom ate the brain the day before. Write down as many guesses as possible. Assess the likelihood of each of them. The next time you start to get scared, do the same. Look for “harmless” but very plausible explanations for your fear. And in the future, strive to eliminate all factors that can trigger fear.
4. Choose a relaxed lifestyle
The modern city dweller rushes at a breakneck pace. He is stewing in a cauldron of endless rush jobs and stress. Perhaps attacks of fear are a signal from the body that it needs a break, a request to take care of itself. This is your body telling you to slow down your pace of life. In order to reduce the likelihood of a fear attack, it is necessary to reduce tension. Strive to have less stress in your life. And more pleasure, relaxation and enjoyable activities.
5. Focus on the external
Researchers have proven that attacks of inexplicable horror are more common among people who are very sensitive to what is happening in their body. They easily notice the beating of the heart and perceive the slightest changes in breathing. Fluctuations in blood pressure can be easily felt. This is what increases the likelihood of a fear attack. Therefore, strive to focus your attention on external events, on the people around you and on the tasks facing you.
6. Be present
Fear grows because of your imagination. If you project yourself into the future and begin to imagine the dire consequences of a conversation with your boss, a plane ride, or a trip, you increase your fear. Focus your attention on the present, on the tasks in front of you, or on other people.
“And - God forbid - do not read Soviet newspapers before lunch,” said Professor Preobrazhensky in “ Heart of a Dog" Avoid reading or watching reports about murders, accidents and illnesses. Don't watch horror films or thrillers. Don't give such food to your imagination. And it will stop painting you terrible pictures.
7. Live your fear
Experiencing fear, moving through it, moving despite it is a very valuable experience that will allow you to cope with fears in the future. The brave man is not the one who is not afraid, but the one who is afraid but does it. Living through fear forms the habit of coping with intense fear. Know that unpleasant bodily sensations are caused by adrenaline. If you do not add wood to the fire of fear, the effect of adrenaline lasts about two minutes. And active physical actions help burn it.
8. Learn breathing or relaxation techniques
The ability to relax will help you cope with fear. You need to master relaxation techniques and breathing techniques at a time when you are calm. And train until the skill of relaxation becomes automatic. Only then will these techniques help you at the moment when horror hits.
The easiest way to calm down is to master diaphragmatic breathing. To do this, you need to breathe not with your chest, but with your stomach. You will find detailed instructions in the article “Breathing with the belly: diaphragmatic breathing”. It helps a lot to relax if you exhale much longer than your inhalation. This is how sleeping people breathe. You will find instructions for this breathing method in the article “Breathing technique for complete relaxation”. Another way of breathing that helps cope with panic is the winner's breath. You will master it by watching a fragment of the program “About the Most Important Thing”.
9. Take risks
Avoiding scary situations helps you avoid fear. But it serves you badly. The more you avoid, the stronger the fear. The stronger the fear of fear. And the more situations begin to frighten. It doesn't take long to become a recluse. By taking risks, you increase the number of situations in which you feel comfortable. This way you increase your comfort zone.
10. Take a course of psychotherapy with a psychologist or psychotherapist
You can fight the fear of fear alone. But it is easier to do this with the support of a psychologist or psychotherapist. With the help of a specialist, you will get rid of the fear of fear much faster.
Does fear keep you from living? Is something scaring you? What are you afraid of? We are often afraid of the dangers that can await us every day at every step. We are afraid to seem funny when speaking in public, to meet nasty insect, get sick or harm your health. In fact, it is possible to overcome these fears. It doesn’t matter what exactly you fear and why you worry: in this article you will find 20 universal tips on how to cope with fears, and also find out what their causes are and what prevents us from overcoming them. Read about this in an article by CogniFit psychologist Ainoa Arrans.
What is fear?
Why does fear arise? Why is it needed? Fear is the primary emotion that warns us of impending danger. He fills us so that we do not miss the approaching threat. Fear paralyzes us in a frightening situation. Have you ever experienced this feeling? Have you ever experienced panic that made you run away without thinking about the consequences? This is an absolutely logical reaction given this emotional state.
It is necessary to distinguish between fear and anxiety symptoms. Fear appears in a very specific situation, for example, when a stranger is following you along an empty street, who you think is stalking you. Anxiety, on the contrary, is a rather general, non-specific emotion that arises in less specific situations. For example, the anxiety we feel when thinking about our future career or when someone criticizes us.
Fear is an adaptive response to threats, physical or psychological nature. However, it does not always arise in the face of real danger. Sometimes it can be caused by cognitive distortions. The level of intensity of fear can vary from virtually no fear to absolute panic. In fact, this emotion can become a real nightmare.
When does fear become a phobia?
If the fear of something becomes too great, excessive, it turns into a phobia. Phobia is a psychological disorder, while fear is a common healthy emotion.
Eat Various types phobias: fear of heights, fear of clowns or coulrophobia, fear of growing old, fear of death, etc. Regardless of the reasons that cause such a reaction, all these phobias significantly reduce the quality of life of people suffering from them, negatively affecting all areas of daily activity. Can you imagine that there are people who are so afraid to go outside that they are forced to spend all their time indoors, locked up?
However, it is not at all necessary for fear to reach the size of a phobia in order to poison a person’s life. One way or another these psychological disorders can prevent us from performing even the most normal daily tasks. In this article you will find recommendations on how to get rid of fear, regardless of its degree and the reason that provokes this feeling.
Why are we afraid?
Fear is a completely habitual reaction that accompanies us throughout our lives. It forces you to act quickly and protect yourself from any danger. It increases our physiological activity, encouraging us to fight or flee. Fear is necessary for survival.
There are two main theories about how fear arises. The first, classical one, states that if we compare certain elements (snakes, heights, etc.) with situations that are harmful and dangerous for us (injuries, anxiety, etc.), we associate these stimuli with each other and thus acquire conditioned fear reflex.
On the other hand, according to Albert Bandura's social learning theory, we learn through vicarious experiences. In other words, by observing other people who are models for us (neighbor, actor, etc.), we internalize their behavior and imitate them. If you once witnessed your little brother being stung by a wasp and you noticed his panic, you might run away in fear every time you see the wasp. According to this theory, we decide for ourselves whether we want to engage in a certain type of behavior or not, although this is not easy.
Fear can also cause positive emotions. We enjoy the thrill of shaking, heart palpitations, tension, and rigidity when we're watching a horror movie from the comfort of our couch or when we're riding a roller coaster. We even look for these sensations when we are sure that we are safe.
It is necessary to learn to manage this emotion from childhood. However, you can begin to experience fear of something at any age. Moreover, some people are more likely to experience this emotion than others. Our experiences also greatly influence how we react to actual events. No matter what we fear, it is important to remember that it is never too late to overcome fear.
20 ways to conquer fear
In this section, we will give 20 tips and tricks that you can implement on a daily basis. The most important thing is that you must understand that fear sits inside you, no one and nothing makes you experience it. It may be problematic to think this way on the eve of, for example, an important exam, but you must remember that you and only you are responsible for your personal growth. You can overcome this fear with planning, a little effort and willpower.
1. Don't try to deny your fears.
As we indicated earlier, fear is a gift that helps us survive. We can also observe it in animals dangerous situations. Fortunately, our body warns us of an approaching threat. Can you imagine what will happen if you don't hide when you see a tiger in the room? Learning to coexist with this emotion is vital. No matter what unpleasant moments we have to endure, we should be grateful to fear.
2. Get to know yourself better
Self-reflection helps increase our comfort level. It allows us to understand how we feel or how we want to be, how to act. There is no need to deeply explore what the roots of our fear of snakes are, for example. However, understanding what stimuli trigger unpleasant emotions in us can help us develop effective and precise strategies to counter them.
3. Admit your fear
You are human. Living and acting as if fear does not exist is counterproductive. Feeling fear will not make you weaker or less respected. It doesn't matter if the object of your fear is unusual or confusing, it is still understandable and there are people who can support you. Your fear will not go away just because you ignore it. Recognizing fear is the first step towards overcoming it.
4. Rationalize your fears
Fear of fire is absolutely understandable if we see a fire. However, if every time we light an electric stove we think about a fire, then we are thinking illogically. You need to think about the likelihood of something happening and act accordingly. This will help get rid of unpleasant cognitive processes.
5. Watch other people struggle with fear.
There are quite common types of fears - for example, the fear of being fired or the fear of blood. It doesn't matter if the reason for your fear is atypical: remember that this emotion causes similar feelings in everyone. The only difference is the degree of intensity you are able to control. It can be very helpful to acknowledge that this emotion is natural and observe how other people deal with it.
6. Boost your self-esteem
Some types of fears, such as fear of communication, are very upsetting for the people who experience them. This can have a negative impact on self-esteem. “I’m a loser, incompetent.” “Nobody wants a weakling like me.” Such thoughts are harmful and can provoke cognitive distortions that can significantly poison our lives.
In some cases, these beliefs can lead to deep internal discomfort and, as a result, severe psychological problems. Fears should not affect your self-esteem. Remember that we are all human and that everyone can experience fears, but we are always able to find a reasonable solution in any situation.
7. Take care of yourself
Obviously, taking care of your physical and mental health is always useful. When we lead a healthy lifestyle (of course, within reasonable limits, we shouldn’t focus on sports and proper nutrition), we feel great, our efficiency and performance increase. Therefore, when we feel healthy and able to take care of ourselves, the fear of getting sick decreases.
8. Don't avoid the object of your fear.
If we give up flying because of the fear of flying, or if we lead a mediocre life because of the fear of failure, we will be setting up barriers for ourselves. Perhaps even the thought of having to face the object of your fear causes you extreme anxiety. It's possible that avoiding fearful situations may help in the short term, but in the long run it will only perpetuate your fears. You have to face your fears.
9. Try relaxation techniques
When we are paralyzed by fear from which we want to run away or hide, we can use various techniques to maintain calm, for example, breathing. You can also start counting in your head until you calm down. This way you can reduce the symptoms of fear and take your mind off negative thoughts.
10. Challenge yourself a little
Conquering fear takes time and constant effort on your part. Try to visualize what you are afraid of first. For example, if you are afraid to play sports, imagine yourself playing with a ball. Visualizing yourself successfully doing things that scare you can help you feel more confident.
It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier and easier each time. Such exercises form the basis of exposure therapy. You are gradually shown fear-provoking stimuli until you learn to cope with your emotions. For example, a person who is afraid of snakes can start by looking at a picture of a small snake, and so on until he is not afraid to be near a real cobra.
11. Don't confront your biggest fear directly.
It’s wonderful that you decided to overcome your fear, however, you shouldn’t do it too harshly. The exposure method involves a gradual approach to this goal under the guidance of a specialist. Independent attempts to dramatically overcome your fear, for example, by grabbing a tarantula with your hand, or going on stage to sing in front of an audience of thousands, can turn out to be completely counterproductive and aggravate the situation.
12. Motivate yourself
Think about how you can reward yourself for conquering fear. For example, if you are afraid to drive a car, imagine how great it will be to go on an exciting journey in your own car in interesting place, which you have long dreamed of, without depending on other people. It's difficult to concentrate on this positive thought the moment you get behind the wheel. However, if we think not about accidents, but about a pleasant vacation, we will be distracted from negative thoughts.
13. Reward yourself for success
If you're afraid of taking an elevator and the thought of getting stuck in one is shocking, give yourself a reward for the day you dare to take an elevator ride. For example, a bag of your favorite candy or a trip to the cinema. It is important that you acknowledge your success and want to move on.
14. Celebrate your progress
Keeping an observation diary is very useful, especially in situations when you suddenly begin to become depressed due to fear itself or for another reason. However, if you look in your diary and read about your successes, it will help you feel proud and continue to move forward and become even more effective. The path to success is not always smooth; there are ups and downs. However, persistence and determination will help you achieve excellent results. Plus, the act of writing down notes will help you blow off steam and reduce anxiety.
15. Get support from loved ones
Even if your friends or family don't share your fear, they know the feeling. You will feel better if you share with them your worries about being afraid to drive in the fog or communicate with your boss. It is likely that the people you are talking to have gone through similar experiences and can give you valuable advice. However, even just their support and participation can help you cope with any challenge.
16. Talk to people who share your fear
Find people who are going through the same thing as you, it will help you a lot. If you think your fear is unusual, or if you feel shy, feel misunderstood, or find it difficult to discuss it with someone, try talking to someone in the same situation (in person or even online). This will help you open up, exchange experiences, and learn something useful for yourself that didn’t occur to you on your own.
17. Don't be afraid of criticism
Often, no matter what fear we are trying to overcome - cycling, falling, or speaking English, our steps towards overcoming these fears can be criticized when we make mistakes or fail at something.
We all stumble sometimes. Most likely, others do not think about us as often as we think. And when someone criticizes us, we should not pay attention to negative comments - we lose much more by giving up our attempts.
18. Benefit from new technologies
Scientific and technological advances offer us enormous opportunities to overcome fear. There are already therapies based on virtual reality, which allow people to face their fears in complete safety. In addition, there are more simple ways- for example, various mobile applications, designed for a similar purpose.
In particular, special programs created for people suffering from aerophobia (fear of flying). These apps provide flight safety data and offer various anxiety-reducing exercises. Programs have also been developed for children to get rid of the fear of the dark through various games and others, for example, to help overcome the fear of speaking in front of an audience.
19. Filter information sources
On the Internet there is great amount information that may exacerbate our fears. For example, if you are afraid of disease or terrorist attacks, try not to read the news. The flow of unnecessary information can make it difficult for us to overcome our fears and sometimes even force us to make the wrong decisions.
20. Seek professional help if necessary.
Success in the fight against fear is not always entirely up to us. If you suffer from a phobia that prevents you from leading a normal life, it is recommended that you consult an experienced professional.
Fear is one of the innate emotions that appears in every person from time to time. Performs a positive function, serving as an alarm signal and helping to survive in the event of a threat. Fear mobilizes our body, preparing it to escape. But in some cases, fear manifests itself in an unhealthy, neurotic form (phobias, panic, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder) and significantly ruins a person’s life.
Fear is classified as a negatively colored emotion. Experiencing states of severe anxiety is very painful, so people, as a rule, are looking for any ways to quickly.
Chemical addictions
As a result, they make many erroneous actions that, instead of easing the problem, on the contrary, aggravate it. Such actions include alcohol consumption, uncontrolled intake sedatives, eating emotions with sweets, smoking.
Of course, all these options for getting rid of fear are a road to nowhere. They allow you to disconnect emotionally only for a short time. Therefore, a person regularly returns to the tried and tested method to feel relief. As a result, increasingly larger doses of “anesthetic” are required. This is how they are formed bad habits and addictions.
Non-chemical addictions
More sophisticated and hidden ways to escape from negative experiences include immersion in some kind of activity that fills everything free time person. A person strives to constantly be in the company of other people, immerses himself in work, computer games. As soon as he is left alone for a while and cut off from his usual business, a inexplicable feeling anxiety. A neurotic person, without understanding why, turns on the phone, starts scrolling through the news feed or calling friends - just to get distracted and not be confronted with the contents of the subconscious, ready to emerge in forced silence.
Another way to cope with psychological stress is compulsions. This is a thoughtless, obsessive repetition of the same actions, often of a ritual nature and supposedly preventing frightening events. For example, counting, knocking on wood, snapping fingers. Compulsive behavior helps to partially turn off consciousness and, in turn, phobias force you to change your entire lifestyle so as not to encounter frightening objects and circumstances. But such tactics result in the price of a significant reduction in the quality of life and personality degradation.
How to get rid of fear in a healthy way
Don't blame yourself for bad habits that you developed as a result of trying to get rid of attacks of fear. At a certain stage of development, this was the only way known and available to you to overcome fear. But if you want to grow as a person and be truly happy man, you need to look for other methods of how to get rid of fear.
People often wonder how to kill fear in themselves, not realizing that any, even the strongest negative emotion is their friend and assistant, signaling some kind of problem. It’s just that in the case of so-called irrational fears, the danger does not come from external environment, but from the inner world of man.
The source of fear in this situation is an erroneous perception of reality, obsessive negative thoughts and beliefs that prevent normal life. Sometimes a person is his own worst enemy. By internalizing and maintaining negative mental attitudes in his mind, he inevitably drives himself into the net of stress. The problem is that destructive thoughts that create anxiety are perceived by a person as an objective reality, and not errors of perception.
Paradoxically, human thinking is largely an unconscious and mindless process. develops when a person ceases to control his imagination and the course of his thoughts. If you want to get rid of fears and phobias, you need to learn to think differently than you do now. When dysfunctional and repetitive patterns of fear responses can be changed to healthier ones, anxiety disorders disappear.
The role of cognitive distortions in the development of fear
Cognitive distortions (errors in thinking that are common to each of us) give rise to many groundless fears. For example, two people hit the same life situation- they need to propose to their girls. Of course, there is a possibility of failure. But how such a scenario for the development of events is perceived differently depending on the type of person’s thinking.
An optimist will regard refusal as an invitation to work on himself. Find out the reasons why the girl said no. He will try to change in order to achieve a positive response, or decide that it is worth finding another person as a life partner. A pessimist perceives a possible refusal as a life catastrophe, confirmation of his unworthiness. If he is sure that he cannot love anyone else, pictures of forced loneliness will loom in his mind. If, in addition to the above, a person is convinced that “loneliness is terrible,” then imagine the level of panic that will seize him at a crucial moment. Will he even be able to decide to propose and, perhaps, find out the “terrible” truth?
How to get rid of anxiety and fear through thought control
So absurd and bad thoughts They visit any person from time to time regarding various things. Any thought, in turn, causes an emotion. It is important to understand that those thoughts that cause strong fear, are based on deep and unconscious erroneous attitudes. They cannot be taken into account when assessing the situation.
For example, a fear thought: my partner will definitely leave me. Variants of erroneous beliefs that resulted in fear:
- people cannot be trusted;
- being abandoned is humiliating;
- I'm not worthy of love.
Fear thought: if I go to work, my husband will be angry with me. Variants of erroneous beliefs that resulted in fear:
- I must devote all my time to my husband;
- if someone is angry with me, then it is my fault.
Remember that you yourself give power to certain thoughts that end up frightening you. There is a huge gap between the accidentally flashing unpleasant thought “I will be left alone” and a firm, but nevertheless unfounded conviction in this. You yourself take a step towards fear by giving your attention to negative thoughts. The mind is designed to seek confirmation of any thought you focus on. That's why it's so important to look at things from a positive perspective. After all, by cultivating confidence in future success in any situation in the present, you inevitably rise on the emotional scale - to hope, enthusiasm and anticipation.
How to overcome your fear with positive thinking
Positive thinking is not about burying your head in the sand, but about organizing your thoughts. Most people are very scrupulous about the quantity and quality of food they consume, understanding the importance of a healthy diet for their body. But with regard to thoughts, the same selectivity is absent.
Be careful with funds mass media. Stop Mindlessly Browsing social media and news. Most messages are structured in such a way as to grab people's attention. And the easiest way to do this is by broadcasting frightening information and savoring the details of various disasters and natural disasters.
There are many wonderful events happening in the world every minute - healthy children are born, people find new friends, fall in love, get better, get to work safely in their car without any incidents. But that doesn't make good news. And as a result, the world is presented through the media as threatening and dangerous.
Stop watching news that does not lead to joy, but only, on the contrary, increases the level of anxiety. Fill your brain with only pleasant food for thought. Switch your attention to watching comedies and entertainment programs, reading life-affirming novels and communicating with optimistic people.
Only you can determine whether a certain thought is positive or limiting for you personally. If a thought brings you pleasant emotions, then it suits you and should be included in your belief system.
For example, you want to change your profession, but you are afraid of the inevitable changes. Possible thoughts that may come to your mind:
- doing what you love (negative thought);
- but there are people who somehow succeed (positive thought);
- the chances of succeeding are too small - I will waste my time and energy (negative thought);
- It is better to fail than not to try at all (positive thought).
- all successful people are selfish (negative thought);
- people will envy me (negative thought);
- my friend will definitely support me (positive thought);
- if I succeed, I can help others (positive thought);
- people don’t have money to pay for my services (negative thought);
- I want too much from life (negative thought);
- no one will be better off if I give up on my dreams (positive thought).
How to remove fear through meditation
Meditation is a useful skill that allows you to disconnect from the negative influence of the external environment, cope with an attack of anxiety or obsessive thoughts. Just 15 minutes of practice a day can provide mental rest and significantly reduce stress levels.
There is nothing difficult about meditation. You just need to retire, sit comfortably, close your eyes and begin to concentrate on inhaling and exhaling. At first, you will notice how your mind is bombarded with various thoughts. You can't allow yourself to be carried away. But at the same time, there is no need to try to suppress thoughts. Treat the thoughts that arise like passing clouds. Notice impartially the appearance of another thought and return to breathing.
When you learn to separate yourself from thoughts and the emotions that give rise to them, becoming an outside observer, you will gain control over your emotional state. Being an impartial observer helps you rise above your emotions and choose more uplifting thoughts to think about. Even when you hit stressful situations(dismissal, divorce, death loved one), 15-minute helps to find positive thoughts and develop a healthy response to the event.
How to remove fear using visualization
There is one more effective method how to overcome fear. Try to work with your imagination. Every day before you go to bed, draw pictures in your mind of how you successfully cope with a situation that frightens you.
Let's say you have, and the thought of leaving the house, even to the nearest store, frightens you to the point of horror. Your task is to go to shopping mall only in your imagination. Imagine how one fine day, when the weather is good outside, you get dressed and leave the entrance. The sun is shining, there are friendly people around, and you yourself are in a great mood. Enjoying your walk, you reach the end of the block and enter the store. Shopping slowly and with pleasure, and then successfully returning home. Gradually, a positive image will be fixed in the subconscious, and the fear of going out will pass.
How to overcome your fear in an extreme situation
In a state of panic, a person is in an extremely emotional state and has difficulty understanding what is happening around him. If you have an idea about how to overcome fear and stop hysteria, then you are able to take control of your condition. Try the following:
- Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 1–2 seconds, exhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 1–2 seconds, and so on.
- Calming movements: Lean forward, completely relaxing your head, neck, shoulders and arms, hanging freely downwards. Breathe slowly and deeply, and then slowly rise up. If you feel that you cannot calm down the fear and still feel trembling in your body, try to move: walk, swing your arms. This will help neutralize the release of the stress hormone adrenaline into the blood.
- Washing with cold water will help you come to your senses and put your disturbing thoughts in order.
- Take action. Focus on other people's needs, not on your own experiences and anxious thoughts. Nothing mobilizes like this internal resources, like love and a sense of responsibility for one’s neighbor.
Preparing for the worst-case scenario
Another way to overcome fear is to get used to the worst-case scenario. Sometimes it seems to us that some things are simply unbearable. But when tested, our psyche turns out to be much stronger. For example, you have a fear that you will be fired from your job.
Cross the line in your thoughts that you are afraid to cross. Let's assume this scenario. What will you do after the event occurs? Have to look for a new place, and there is no guarantee that you will find it quickly? Will you have to save hard? Will you become financially dependent on your spouse and get into debt? Imagine all the possible options that frighten you, and think about what actions you will take if you fail. Having done this exercise in your thoughts, you will find that instead of fear, you feel an energy surge and a desire to act.
How to overcome fear by transferring experiences to the future:
How to remove fear from the subconscious
To overcome fear, you need to work with its root cause. Many of our fears seem groundless and irrational. This happens when the psyche defends itself in order to minimize the power of negative experiences. Often, in order to justify the emotion, the unconscious comes up with a false explanation for the existing fear.
For example, a man is afraid of dogs. At a meeting with a hypnologist, it turns out that a deeply suppressed feeling of one’s own inferiority became the reason for the development of the phobia. The feeling of being a victim, the lack of healthy aggression and the inability to defend one’s interests in relationships transformed into a fear of animals. The logic of the unconscious is this: it is better to be afraid of dogs than to admit your inadequacy.
Identify the subject of fear and try to understand what it may be symbolically associated with. It is important not to deny emotions, not to push them far into a corner, but simply to deal with the source of their occurrence. For example, acrophobes are afraid not so much of heights as of uncertainty; claustrophobes are afraid not so much of closed spaces as of restrictions in actions. Of course, such self-analysis is quite a difficult task. If none of the above methods of how to get rid of phobias and fears on your own has helped you, it is better to contact
These questions are very relevant in different periods life for many people. They say that brave is not the one who is not afraid of anything, but the one who is able to act despite his fear. In this article, I will list nine simple, but extremely powerful methods that are open to everyone, and which will help you overcome your fear and gain confidence in your abilities.
The first way to get rid of fear and self-doubt- This "phased loads". main idea this method is to act in stages (gradually). For example, if a person is very afraid of heights, and cannot even entertain the thought of getting on a plane, there is absolutely no need to take actions that cause very strong fear. At first, he can take a minimal step: carefully approach the sixth floor window, make sure that everything is fine and carefully look at what is there outside the window. As for you, this could be any situation, in general, any small step, because of which you would slightly go beyond your boundaries to meet yours. If a person is terrified of dating, you can symbolically call a compliment to any person of the opposite sex the very first step, and an offer to go on a date with a specific person is the sixth step. You will be surprised how easy it is for you to take the sixth step after the fifth, and the fifth after the fourth. "Phased loads" make it possible to take an easy road to complex loads. Over time, you begin to easily overcome any fears and self-doubt in such moments of life that once looked insurmountable.
The second way to get rid of fear and self-doubt- This "depreciation". The fact is that some things in which we feel insecure and are simply afraid are moments in our lives to which we attach excessive importance, give them great significance. And, conversely, the lighter and more insignificant we treat these moments, the less we worry about them. For example, if you are a timid sales manager and unsure of yourself, and are worried that banner advertising for seven kopecks will hit the client’s wallet very hard, and he will think that you are being impudent, of course, you will never be able to sell nothing really significant. And if you can, it will be a significant exception. In this aspect, there is simply no need to attach importance to money. A self-confident person can easily, as a matter of course, get a decent payment for the same service, simply because this is absolutely normal, and there is nothing special about it that could be given great importance. Getting rid of fear and uncertainty in public affairs inherently leads to a devaluation of these matters, to the fact that you relate to these matters more easily, without assigning excessive significance to what is happening. Perhaps this view will seem too practical to you. If you want groundless experiences, no one can stop you from doing so.
The third way to get rid of fear and self-doubt- This "spontaneous actions" When, for example, we prepare a speech or remarks that we will speak in advance for an upcoming seminar at work, at that moment we "recharging" the (potentially excessive) meaning we will attach to this situation. And as already mentioned above, the more importance you attach, the more actively you reflect, replaying the situation in your head, the more fear and self-doubt you will experience. things need to be done. But when the plan keeps spinning around in your head over and over again, it only leads to even more anxiety. If you have made a plan that completely satisfies you, it’s time to turn off your mind and move on to. If in an upcoming conversation you want to express clear, specific thoughts, it is better to simply remember these thoughts without bringing it into the planned speech. Further, based on the situation, you can express these thoughts spontaneously as it goes. This will make them sound more confident. In order to overcome uncertainty - sometimes spontaneous actions are the only way out. If you have made a decision, you just need to do it, regardless of "shiver" mind. During conscious spontaneous actions, you are focused on what you are doing now, and not on how "scary". I think you have heard this phrase more than once: “The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing.”
The fourth way to get rid of fear and self-doubt – « real example brave act". A real example has an almost magical effect on us when you observe how a confident, experienced person acts in a situation that forces you to worry. This illustrative example can easily and quickly destroy the internal barrier that forced you to experience fear and self-doubt in such situations. You just look at a real example that in this situation you can simply and easily act confidently, without any fears. Complexes have no place here, they are simply unnecessary. It happens that people choose difficult paths, systematic career growth - step by step, year after year. And then suddenly you watch how stupid is next to them "hillbilly" suddenly overtakes them in a short period of time, only because he acts decisively and confidently, without attaching undue importance to the local hierarchy and becomes closest to the general one "feeder". Such a (real) example can outrage, and can teach a lot.
The fifth way to get rid of fears and self-doubt- This . This method can be called physiological, since through, we influence the state of mind. The more excited and anxious the mind is, the more internal tension will be displayed. The state of mind and body are interconnected. If the mind is tense, the body also becomes tense. On the contrary, by relaxing our body, we relax and calm our mind. At the same time, you can also direct your attention to calming your breathing. It will be best not at the moment of relaxation of an already tense body, but when initially, thanks to relaxation, we do not allow all kinds of tension.
The sixth way to get rid of fears and self-doubt- This "understanding". In fact, we are afraid to do something when we are not exactly sure that we need it. It is important to know what exactly you really want. If you have decided to invite the person you like on a date, but are experiencing fear and self-doubt, you need to analyze what exactly you are afraid of. Refusal in itself is not terrible. This is fine. Most often, the one who invites you on a date, without realizing it, is afraid of looking stupid and clumsy. The more he fears this, the more clumsy he behaves. In this case, it is better to return to the method "spontaneity", and just act. But not everything is as easy as it seems. Sometimes "inviting", again, not fully realizing why he feels fear and uncertainty, in reality he is simply afraid of responsibility. Maybe he is afraid of disappointing his chosen one, or on a subconscious level he predicts all sorts of problems. In such a situation, even if there are doubts, you just need to decide: either "Yes", or "No". And if "Yes", then we again return to decisive spontaneous actions. If "No", then there is nothing to regret. The most important thing is to decision was conscious. Of course, you can weigh everything first, but don’t get carried away with reflection and don’t replay your fears in your head several times.
The seventh way to get rid of fears and self-doubt – "awareness". This is one of the most powerful ways. Otherwise, awareness can be called knowledge or professionalism. For example, when you get a job, being an amateur in the business, you may experience uncertainty, because... you cannot know in advance whether you will cope with the given tasks. In this case, the first time of work turns into one huge continuous exam, which can turn into a long-term one. And if you know this topic and you are a professional, then why should you be afraid? You have inner confidence in your abilities based on many years of experience. Therefore, training often becomes the best way from self-doubt. Primitive people were afraid of natural phenomena, since they did not know, even approximately, what lightning was: heavenly punishment, or an electric charge in the atmosphere. Method or method "awareness" somewhat similar to the sixth method "understanding". The difference is that for the method "understanding" You don't have to be deep "professional" understanding the situation. You just need to make a decision. Seventh method "awareness", most often, leads to spontaneous decision-making.
The eighth way to get rid of fears and self-doubt- This "friendliness". This method is not suitable for every situation, but it happens that it is irreplaceable. And this time we tend to experience fear, anxiety and self-doubt when we talk with some boss or other person important to us. A similar fear can be overcome quite easily with a simple friendly attitude. If you are friendly and respectful (even without knowing the situation), "Truth" will remain on your side, and you have nothing to worry about. Only a coward can offend those who (relative to the situation) are weaker than him. Psychologically, the one who supports this world will be right, and fear is not appropriate here.
The ninth way to get rid of fears and self-doubt- This "self-knowledge". It happens that a person is unsure of his abilities only because he is not, and his self-identification directly depends on the opinions of others. If someone likes him, he feels encouraged and his self-confidence increases. If a person is harshly criticized, self-confidence decreases sharply. All this happens as if a person does not know himself at all, what he really is, and receives this information exclusively from other people. It must be remembered that understanding other people is also subjective. Most people often cannot understand themselves, let alone give a sober assessment to your actions. To know yourself means to accept yourself as you are. If you are not ashamed to be yourself, you are able to act without fear. When you know yourself, you simply express yourself sincerely, as you are. However, everything has its time and place.
In this article, the main idea was about overcoming fears, worries and self-doubt that prevent a person from doing anything. It is necessary to remember that by hacking your next fear, you discover for yourself additional opportunity become stronger. There is no need to justify yourself when someone feels sorry for you and supports your fears. These are all temptations that make us weak-willed and weak. Overcoming fears and self-doubt does not mean doing rash things, putting your life in danger. Meeting your fears means developing, learning, becoming wiser, kinder and stronger.
Once upon a time there lived a decrepit, dissatisfied animal in a swamp beyond the edge of the forest. And one day, by pure chance or out of terrible boredom, he started a conversation with a tiny bird flying near his swamp. And the bird told the dissatisfied animal that somewhere on the opposite side of the forest there is a magical garden in which fantastic fruits grow, after eating which many animals are transformed. The dissatisfied animal listened to the bird, its mouth open in amazement, and suddenly something in its head began to move in an unusual way. The bird flew away, and the beast was again left alone with itself.
But something has changed dramatically. Out of routine, gray everyday life, excitement began to grow in the soul of the dissatisfied beast. The beast began to talk about how he would leave his usual stinking swamp and go look for a magical garden. So another year, or a year and a half, passed. The everyday gray routine enveloped him comfortably and warmly, but excitement still remained in his soul. It happened that the beast had nightmares where he left his usual swamp. He woke up wet with sweat, realizing with relief that he was still right there, in his old, familiar swamp. But over time, after another two or three years, the dissatisfied beast finally realized that in this stinking swamp, everything was already so familiar and familiar that there was no point in staying here any longer. It dawned on him that he would never know what awaited him beyond the edge of the forest until he emerged from the quagmire.
At first, in the first two weeks, he stuck two paws and a muzzle out of the swamp. Then, making sure that nothing bad was happening to him, he completely got out of the swamp and began his independent journey, which was filled with various adventures, dangers, excitement, joys and new impressions. And this all continued until the dissatisfied beast suddenly noticed that he had been moving around for a long time. magic garden, and that he is no longer dissatisfied, but brave and cheerful. He noticed that during this time large golden wings had grown in him, and his body had become powerful and fit. He never regretted leaving his usual swamp to find a magical garden.
How to get rid of fear, fear
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We periodically need to step out of our comfort zone and act in one way or another, taking risks or going backwards. Only from time to time the feeling of fear interferes. Of course, fear was created by nature as a quality that protects against any wrongdoing. But sometimes this property becomes so strong that it obscures the clarity of mind and the ability to perceive what is happening in the light of rationality. and grow above them? - this is a question that in a certain life period Almost every person asks himself.
The more life experience, the stronger the fear
A newborn does not know fear because it has never encountered it. Gradually, as one gains life experience and various situations arise, a person begins to be afraid. He begins to understand that a certain situation may end unfavorably.
Such negative thoughts prevent you from living fully. To improve the situation, you just need to realize the need to solve the problem, since everyone can overcome fears. As negative experiences increase, a person fears an increasing number of unfavorable factors. At the same time, negative experience different people different from each other. Therefore, it is not always that what frightens one person causes similar feelings in his friends.
Fear of experiencing fear
Over time, a person may begin to fear situations that cause fear. That is, he is not afraid of any object, but rather the feeling of fear. Such a person makes efforts to consciously avoid relevant situations.
In this case, you need to identify the cause of fear, and then start developing self-confidence. Do not assume that the task is large and impossible. In fact, it should simply be divided into small sub-points, the implementation of which requires almost no additional effort. This is especially clear to athletes. And after completing small tasks, you should deal with larger issues.
Don't suppress fear
The person in this state is deprived of the ability to make decisions and act. Fear may arise before some new actions that have not had to be done before. If a person becomes interested in how to overcome fears, then first you need to admit to yourself that they exist. Because only if you honestly discover these qualities in yourself can you take measures to eliminate them.
It’s better to act anyway. If you repeat this several times, you’ll gradually be able to overcome your fear. After all, too much fear only gets in the way. Therefore, you need to make every effort, since overcoming fears means making them fear themselves.
Making a strong-willed decision
Until there is a clear program regarding one’s actions, fear increases. Therefore, you need to make a decision about how to act in this situation. After a certain course of action has appeared, fear shrinks into a ball. Of course, he waits for some time to see whether the decision will be accurately implemented. But when it turns out that a person is not going to deviate from the planned plan of action, the fear becomes less and less until it disappears completely.
What is fear? - just an emotion. She is able to fill everything with herself, becoming a large jellyfish. Is it really worth allowing this unreasonable “object” to influence your own life? Of course not. That is why you should turn it into a small compressed ball, which subsequently disappears.
When making a decision, a person may worry about whether it is correct. If you look at the question from the point of view of rationality, it becomes clear: any action is always preferable to fear of the unknown. After the first steps are taken in the accepted direction, the situation becomes clear. And it becomes possible to turn it in the right direction.
Worst case scenario
In overcoming fear, working through the question “how to overcome fear of the unknown?” often helps. That is, in this case, you should think about the topic: what will happen if... Usually such reasoning lifts the veil of secrecy and it becomes clear that the outcome is, in principle, not dangerous. Often people think that the result will be scary. But with this exercise clear example gradually it becomes clear that the problem disappears.
If it turns out that discomfort preserved, we should think about what this tells us inner voice. Therefore, if intuition really saved you from an unfortunate event, then this is simply wonderful. In such cases, you need to rejoice at your own sensitivity and thank it for your salvation.
Analysis of the situation
Carefully examining what is happening without hiding unfavorable and “ugly” qualities from oneself is best option to fight fear. Analysis helps to understand the following points:
- What exactly is scary?
- For what reason does fear arise?
- Is it worth spending your internal reserve on negative emotions?
The list can be continued until you achieve an internal state of satisfaction. The essence of the method is a thorough study of the “enemy”. Because only by knowing your fear completely can you find out how to overcome it.
And if there are several options for eliminating fear, then you need to work through each of them. Using your own imagination helps, because when you replay the situation in it, it becomes very clear. A person who overcame fear always figured out in advance how to do this.
Some may think that analysis is something long and boring. In fact, everything is absolutely not like that. Revealing the positive and negative without obscuring it with anything is very interesting. After all, it is not necessary to provide the information received to anyone. She is going only for herself.
Common phobia: fear of death
There are many deaths, which is considered normal. But sometimes everything becomes very serious and turns into phobias such as:
- Swim in the sea.
- Drive a car.
- Touch handrails in public transport and others.
It is worth accepting your death as a phenomenon that is the logical outcome of every person’s life. Since overcoming the fear of death is actually understanding the beauty of the present moment. Yes, everything will end, and even King Solomon did not escape this. That is why you need to appreciate every breath you take, and perform any action consciously.
What if a person is afraid to live?
You should rejoice at what is happening and perceive it from a positive point of view. Even if situations develop unfavorably, they should be perceived as a test. It's better to view them as lessons. After all, a person is born in order to become better, to learn something.
And those individuals who are afraid to leave the house in the morning will most likely wake up in their declining years. They will realize that their whole life has passed by and nothing has been done. And to avoid such a turn, you should think about the questions: is there any point in experiencing fear of life? How to overcome it?
Childbirth is painful
Expectant mothers are always very worried before giving birth. This depends on whether everything is prepared for the unborn baby at home. Also, any woman worries about the following questions:
- How to cope with pain.
- Is there enough strength?
- Will everything go well and so on.
Since overcoming the fear of childbirth is already the key to the success of the event, you should work on it. As for the pain, you should realize that it will be very strong and accept it as it is. ABOUT physical fitness and health must be taken care of for 9 months, following the doctor’s recommendations and attending special courses for expectant mothers. The doctor must think about whether everything will go well. Therefore, before giving birth, you should take care of a good specialist.
The main thing is to be positive. For each of your actions, you should take only favorable views as a basis. And in such an important matter as the birth of a new person, this rule should be considered an axiom. Everything will be fine, because there are simply no other options.
What if you're scared to board a plane?
The media do not always pity the public when reporting on unsuccessful flights. Often the information is accompanied by colorful photographs or informative videos. At the same time, impressionable citizens decide to travel long distances exclusively by train.
Trains are very good, although much longer. But how to overcome the fear of flying if you need to get to another continent? The most best recommendation- this is to distract yourself from what is happening as much as possible. If the person sitting next to you is inclined to communicate, then you can get to know him. Communication with a fellow traveler is a fairly strong distraction. There is no need to drink coffee, because your heart rate will increase and your anxiety will increase. It is preferable to pay attention to alcohol, which will help relieve tension.
Fear is a part of life. Every person is afraid of something. Even, for example, a very strong and formidable athlete, to whom everyone around nods respectfully, is also capable of worry. Perhaps he is afraid to eat a product containing coli. The options can be very diverse. And this does not mean that you need to surround yourself with a vacuum. After such an act, life turns into existence, and its taste simply disappears. That’s why you need to answer the question for yourself: “How to learn to overcome fears?” And first they should be identified and subjected to thorough analysis.
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